Oprah: ONLY YOU KNOW THE PATH TO YOUR OWN TRUTH. Supersoul.tv COMES TO OWN. "SUPER SOUL SESSIONS," THE FOUR-NIGHT EVENT WITH SUPERSTAR THOUGHT LEADERS... WHO YOU ARE MATTERS. IF YOU FIND YOURSELF IN STRUGGLE WITH TRUST, EXAMINE HOW YOU TREAT YOURSELF. ...WHERE HEART MEETS SOUL. YOUR LIFE AND WHAT YOU'RE MEANT TO DO IS SPECIAL. "SUPER SOUL SESSIONS" STARTS NOW. -- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] WELCOME TO THE EVOLUTION OF OUR DREAM. IT IS MY DREAM TO HAVE YOU HERE. IT IS MY DREAM TO CREATE MORE SPACE FOR LIKE-MINDED SOULS IN THE WORLD. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] IT IS MY DREAM TO OPEN THE HEART SPACE FOR TRUTH SEEKERS TO GATHER AND HAVE THE CONVERSATIONS THAT MATTER IN OUR LIVES. AND "SUPER SOUL SESSIONS" IS A SERIES OF LIVE EVENTS, LIKE TODAY, THAT WILL EVENTUALLY BECOME "SUPER SOUL" CONTENT ACROSS MULTIPLE PLATFORMS ON OWN AND ON THE WEB. SO WE HAVE INVITED SOME OF THE MOST IMPACTFUL SPIRITUAL LEADERS. THEY ARE CULTURAL MAVERICKS. THEY ARE INNOVATORS. THEY ARE THOUGHT LEADERS OF OUR TIME. LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO OUR FIRST SUPERCHARGED SUPER SOULER -- BRENé BROWN. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] OH, MY, MY. OKAY, THE WOMAN HAS DONE HER HOMEWORK, LITERALLY. WITH YEARS OF INTENSIVE RESEARCH, SHE'S JUST NOT TALKING OFF THE TOP OF HER HEAD. SHE IS SHINING A MEGAWATT LIGHT ON THE WOUNDS OF MILLIONS OF PEOPLE AND BECKONING ALL OF US TO JOIN HER ON THIS PATH OF HEALING. HERE IS THE PROFESSOR OF DARING GREATLY, WHOLEHEARTED LIVING, AND RISING STRONG. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] Brown: VULNERABILITY PUSHED. I PUSHED BACK. I LOST THE FIGHT BUT PROBABLY WON MY LIFE BACK. Oprah: BRENé BROWN'S T.E.D. TALK CONTINUES TO SHATTER RECORDS, WITH OVER 22 MILLION VIEWS AND COUNTING. SHE IS A PROFESSOR AND AUTHOR WITH THREE NEW YORK TIMES BEST-SELLING BOOKS. NOW YOU ARE HERE! AND BRENé'S "SUPER SOUL SUNDAY" APPEARANCES ARE THE MOST TWEETED EPISODES IN OUR SERIES HISTORY. WELCOME TO "SUPER SOUL SESSIONS" BRENé BROWN. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] WHOO! HEY! [ CHUCKLES ] THIS IS MY INTENTION RIGHT NOW -- "DON'T CRY BEFORE YOU START. DON'T CRY BEFORE YOU START." OH, IT JUST FEELS LIKE AN INCREDIBLE UNDERSTATEMENT TO SAY HOW GRATEFUL I AM TO BE HERE WITH ALL OF YOU. I FEEL LIKE I HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH MANY OF YOU ON SOCIAL MEDIA. AND YOU WERE LIKE, "T-MINUS TWO DAYS." I'M LIKE, "IT'S COMING! WE'RE GOING TO BE TOGETHER!" SO I AM SO GRATEFUL TO BE HERE WITH YOU. I'M GOING TO TALK ABOUT TRUST. AND I'M GOING TO START BY SAYING THIS -- ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS OF MY JOB IS THAT I GET TO RESEARCH TOPICS THAT MEAN SOMETHING TO ME. ONE OF MY LEAST-FAVORITE PARTS OF MY JOB IS I NORMALLY COME UP WITH FINDINGS THAT KICK ME IN THE BUTT AND MAKE ME CHANGE MY ENTIRE LIFE. THAT'S THE HARD PART. BUT I GET TO DIG IN TO THE STUFF THAT I THINK MATTERS IN MY LIFE AND THE LIFE OF THE PEOPLE AROUND ME. AND THE TOPIC OF TRUST IS SOMETHING I THINK I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE EVENTUALLY STARTED TO LOOK AT CLOSELY BECAUSE I STUDY SHAME AND VULNERABILITY. BUT THERE'S A VERY PERSONAL REASON I JUMPED TO TRUST EARLY IN MY RESEARCH CAREER, AND IT WAS A PERSONAL EXPERIENCE. ONE DAY, MY DAUGHTER, ELLEN, CAME HOME FROM SCHOOL. SHE WAS IN THIRD GRADE. AND THE MINUTE WE CLOSED THE FRONT DOOR, SHE LITERALLY JUST STARTED SOBBING AND SLID DOWN THE DOOR UNTIL SHE WAS JUST KIND OF A HEAP OF CRYING ON THE FLOOR. AND, OF COURSE, IT SCARED ME. AND I SAID, "WHAT'S WRONG, ELLEN? WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT HAPPENED?" AND SHE PULLED HERSELF TOGETHER ENOUGH TO SAY, "SOMETHING REALLY HARD HAPPENED TO ME TODAY AT SCHOOL, AND I SHARED IT WITH A COUPLE OF MY FRIENDS DURING RECESS. AND BY THE TIME WE GOT BACK INTO THE CLASSROOM, EVERYONE IN MY CLASS KNEW WHAT HAD HAPPENED. AND THEY WERE LAUGHING AND POINTING AT ME AND CALLING ME NAMES." AND IT WAS SO BAD AND THE KIDS WERE BEING SO DISRUPTIVE THAT HER TEACHER EVEN HAD TO TAKE MARBLES OUT OF THIS MARBLE JAR. AND THE MARBLE JAR IN THE CLASSROOM IS A JAR WHERE IF THE KIDS ARE MAKING GREAT CHOICES TOGETHER, THE TEACHER ADDS MARBLES. IF THEY'RE MAKING NOT-GREAT CHOICES, THE TEACHER TAKES OUT MARBLES. AND IF THE JAR GETS FILLED UP, THERE'S A CELEBRATION FOR THE CLASS. AND SO SHE SAID, "IT WAS ONE OF THE WORST MOMENTS OF MY LIFE. THEY WERE LAUGHING AND POINTING, AND MS. BAKKEN, MY TEACHER, KEPT SAYING, 'I'M GONNA TAKE MARBLES OUT.' YOU KNOW, AND SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS HAPPENING." AND SHE LOOKED AT ME JUST WITH THIS FACE THAT IS JUST SEARED INTO MY MIND AND SAID, "I WILL NEVER TRUST ANYONE AGAIN." AND MY FIRST REACTION, TO BE REALLY HONEST WITH YOU, WAS, "DAMN STRAIGHT." [ LAUGHTER ] "YOU DON'T TELL ANYBODY ANYTHING BUT YOUR MAMA." [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH, RIGHT? THAT'S IT. [ APPLAUSE ] I MEAN, THAT WAS MY, LIKE -- "YOU JUST TELL ME, AND WHEN YOU GROW UP AND YOU GO OFF TO SCHOOL, MAMA WILL GO, TOO. I'LL GET A LITTLE APARTMENT." AND THE OTHER THING I WAS THINKING, TO BE QUITE HONEST WITH YOU, IS, "I WILL FIND OUT WHO THOSE KIDS WERE. [ LAUGHTER ] AND WHILE I'M NOT GONNA BEAT UP A 9-YEAR-OLD, I KNOW THEIR MAMAS." THAT'S THE PLACE YOU GO TO. AND I'M LIKE, "HOW AM I GONNA EXPLAIN TRUST TO THIS THIRD GRADER IN FRONT OF ME?" SO I TOOK A DEEP BREATH, AND I SAID, "ELLEN, TRUST IS LIKE A MARBLE JAR." SHE SAID, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" AND I SAID, "YOU SHARE THOSE HARD STORIES AND THOSE HARD THINGS THAT ARE HAPPENING TO YOU WITH FRIENDS WHO, OVER TIME, YOU FILLED UP THEIR MARBLE JAR. THEY'VE DONE THING AFTER THING AFTER THING WHERE YOU'RE LIKE, 'I KNOW I CAN SHARE THIS WITH THIS PERSON.' DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?" THAT'S WHAT ELLEN SAID -- "YES, THAT MAKES SENSE." AND I SAID, "DO YOU HAVE ANY MARBLE-JAR FRIENDS?" AND SHE SAID, "OH, YEAH, TOTALLY. HANNAH AND LORNA ARE MARBLE-JAR FRIENDS." AND I SAID -- AND THEN THIS IS WHERE THINGS GOT INTERESTING. I SAID, "TELL ME WHAT YOU MEAN. HOW DO THEY EARN MARBLES FOR YOU?" AND SHE'S LIKE, "WELL, LORNA, IF THERE'S NOT A SEAT FOR ME AT THE LUNCH CAFETERIA, SHE'LL SCOOT OVER AND GIVE ME HALF A HEINIE SEAT." [ LAUGHTER ] AND I'M LIKE, "SHE WILL?" SHE'S LIKE, "YEAH, SHE'LL JUST SIT LIKE THAT SO I CAN SIT WITH HER." AND I SAID, "THAT'S A BIG DEAL." THIS IS NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING TO HEAR. AND SHE SAID, "AND, YOU KNOW, HANNAH, ON SUNDAY, AT MY SOCCER GAME..." AND I WAS WAITING FOR THIS STORY WHERE SHE SAID, "I GOT HIT BY A BALL AND I WAS LAYING ON THE FIELD, AND HANNAH PICKED ME UP AND RAN ME TO FIRST AID." AND I WAS LIKE, "YEAH?" AND SHE SAID, "HANNAH LOOKED OVER, AND SHE SAW OMA AND OPA --" MY PARENTS, HER GRANDPARENTS -- "AND SHE SAID, 'LOOK, YOUR OMA AND OPA ARE HERE.'" AND I WAS LIKE... [ LAUGHTER ] AND I WAS LIKE, "BOY, SHE GOT A MARBLE FOR THAT?" AND SHE GOES, "WELL, YOU KNOW, NOT ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE EIGHT GRANDPARENTS." 'CAUSE MY PARENTS ARE DIVORCED AND REMARRIED. MY HUSBAND'S PARENTS ARE DIVORCED AND REMARRIED. AND SHE SAID, "AND IT WAS SO NICE TO ME THAT SHE REMEMBERED THEIR NAMES." AND I WAS LIKE, "HMM." AND SHE SAID, "DO YOU HAVE MARBLE-JAR FRIENDS?" AND I SAID, "YEAH, I DO HAVE A COUPLE OF MARBLE-JAR FRIENDS." AND SHE SAID, "WELL, WHAT KIND OF THINGS DO THEY DO TO GET MARBLES?" AND THIS FEELING CAME OVER ME, AND I THOUGHT THE FIRST THING I COULD THINK OF, BECAUSE WE WERE TALKING ABOUT THE SOCCER GAME, WAS THAT SAME GAME, MY GOOD FRIEND EILEEN WALKED UP TO MY PARENTS AND SAID, "DEANNE, DAVID, GOOD TO SEE YOU." AND I REMEMBER WHAT THAT FELT LIKE FOR ME. AND I WAS LIKE, "CERTAINLY, TRUST CANNOT BE BUILT BY THESE SMALL, INSIGNIFICANT MOMENTS IN OUR LIVES. IT'S GOT TO BE A GRANDER GESTURE THAN THAT." SO, AS A RESEARCHER, I START LOOKING INTO THE DATA. I GATHER UP THE DOCTORAL STUDENTS WHO'VE WORKED WITH ME. WE START LOOKING. AND IT IS CRYSTAL-CLEAR. TRUST IS BUILT IN VERY SMALL MOMENTS. Brown: TRUST IS BUILT IN VERY SMALL MOMENTS. AND WHEN WE STARTED LOOKING AT EXAMPLES OF WHEN PEOPLE TALKED ABOUT TRUST IN THE RESEARCH, THEY SAID THINGS LIKE, "YEAH, I REALLY TRUST MY BOSS. SHE EVEN ASKED ME HOW MY MOM'S CHEMOTHERAPY WAS GOING." "I TRUST MY NEIGHBOR BECAUSE IF SOMETHING'S GOING ON WITH MY KID, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT SHE'S DOING. SHE'LL COME OVER AND HELP ME FIGURE IT OUT." YOU KNOW, ONE OF THE NUMBER-ONE THINGS EMERGED AROUND TRUST AND SMALL THINGS? PEOPLE WHO ATTEND FUNERALS. "THIS IS SOMEONE WHO SHOWED UP AT MY SISTER'S FUNERAL." ANOTHER HUGE MARBLE-JAR MOMENT FOR PEOPLE -- "I TRUST HIM BECAUSE HE'LL ASK FOR HELP WHEN HE NEEDS IT." HOW MANY OF YOU ARE BETTER AT GIVING HELP THAN ASKING FOR HELP? RIGHT? SO ASKING FOR HELP IS ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS. BUT THE NEW QUESTION FOR ME WAS THIS -- WHAT ARE THOSE MARBLES? WHAT IS TRUST? WHAT DO WE TALK ABOUT WHEN WE TALK ABOUT TRUST? "TRUST" IS A BIG WORD, RIGHT? TO HEAR, "I TRUST YOU," OR, "I DON'T TRUST YOU," I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. SO I WANTED TO KNOW, WHAT IS THE ANATOMY OF TRUST? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? SO I STARTED LOOKING IN THE RESEARCH AND I FOUND A DEFINITION FROM CHARLES FELTMAN THAT I THINK IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL DEFINITION I'VE EVER HEARD, AND IT'S SIMPLY THIS -- "TRUST IS CHOOSING TO MAKE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO YOU VULNERABLE TO THE ACTIONS OF SOMEONE ELSE." CHOOSING TO MAKE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO YOU VULNERABLE TO THE ACTIONS OF SOMEONE ELSE. FELTMAN SAYS THAT DISTRUST IS, "WHAT I HAVE SHARED WITH YOU THAT IS IMPORTANT TO ME IS NOT SAFE WITH YOU." SO I THOUGHT, "THAT'S TRUE." AND FELTMAN REALLY CALLS FOR THIS, "LET'S UNDERSTAND WHAT TRUST IS." SO WE WENT BACK INTO ALL THE DATA TO FIND OUT, "CAN I FIGURE OUT WHAT TRUST IS? DO I KNOW WHAT TRUST IS FROM THE DATA?" AND I THINK I DO KNOW WHAT TRUST IS. AND I PUT TOGETHER AN ACRONYM -- B.R.A.V.I.N.G. B-R-A-V-I-N-G. B.R.A.V.I.N.G. BECAUSE WHEN WE TRUST, WE ARE BRAVING CONNECTION WITH SOMEONE. SO WHAT ARE THE PARTS OF TRUST? "B" -- BOUNDARIES. I TRUST YOU IF YOU ARE CLEAR ABOUT YOUR BOUNDARIES AND YOU HOLD THEM AND YOU ARE CLEAR ABOUT MY BOUNDARIES AND YOU RESPECT THEM. THERE IS NO TRUST WITHOUT BOUNDARIES. "R" -- RELIABILITY. I CAN ONLY TRUST YOU IF YOU DO WHAT YOU'RE SAY YOU'RE GOING TO DO, AND NOT ONCE. RELIABILITY -- LET ME TELL YOU WHAT RELIABILITY IS IN RESEARCH TERMS. WE'RE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR THINGS THAT ARE VALID AND RELIABLE. ANY RESEARCHERS HERE OR RESEARCH KIND OF GEEKS? 10 OF US! [ LAUGHTER ] OKAY, SO WE WOULD SAY A SCALE THAT YOU WEIGH YOURSELF ON IS VALID IF YOU GET ON IT AND IT'S AN ACCURATE WEIGHT. 120. UM... [ LAUGHTER ] OKAY. SO THAT WOULD BE A VERY VALID SCALE. I WOULD PAY A LOT OF MONEY FOR THAT SCALE. SO THAT'S ACTUALLY NOT A VALID SCALE, BUT WE'LL PRETEND FOR THE SAKE OF THIS. THAT'S A VALID SCALE. A RELIABLE SCALE IS A SCALE THAT IF I GOT ON IT 100 TIMES, IT'S GONNA SAY THE SAME THING EVERY TIME. SO WHAT RELIABILITY IS, IS YOU DO WHAT YOU SAY YOU'RE GOING TO DO OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. YOU CANNOT GAIN AND EARN MY TRUST IF YOU'RE RELIABLE ONCE BECAUSE THAT'S NOT THE DEFINITION OF RELIABILITY. IN OUR WORKING LIVES, RELIABILITY MEANS THAT WE HAVE TO BE VERY CLEAR ON OUR LIMITATIONS SO WE DON'T TAKE ON SO MUCH THAT WE COME UP SHORT AND DON'T DELIVER ON OUR COMMITMENTS. IN OUR PERSONAL LIFE, IT MEANS THE SAME THING. SO WHEN WE SAY TO SOMEONE, "OH, GOD, IT WAS SO GREAT SEEING YOU. I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A CALL, AND WE CAN HAVE LUNCH." YES OR NO? NO. "IT WAS REALLY GREAT SEEING YOU." MOMENT OF DISCOMFORT. GOODBYE. [ LAUGHTER ] RIGHT? BUT HONEST. HONEST. SO, "B" -- BOUNDARIES. "R" -- RELIABILITY. "A" -- HUGE -- ACCOUNTABILITY. I CAN ONLY TRUST YOU IF, WHEN YOU MAKE A MISTAKE, YOU'RE WILLING TO OWN IT, APOLOGIZE FOR IT, AND MAKE AMENDS. I CAN ONLY TRUST YOU IF, WHEN I MAKE A MISTAKE, I AM ALLOWED TO OWN IT, APOLOGIZE, AND MAKE AMENDS. NO ACCOUNTABILITY, NO TRUST. "V" -- AND THIS ONE SHOOK ME TO THE CORE -- VAULT. THE VAULT. WHAT I SHARE WITH YOU YOU WILL HOLD IN CONFIDENCE. WHAT YOU SHARE WITH ME I WILL HOLD IN CONFIDENCE. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT WE DON'T UNDERSTAND? AND THIS CAME UP OVER AND OVER AGAIN IN THE RESEARCH. WE DON'T UNDERSTAND THE OTHER SIDE OF THE VAULT. THAT'S ONLY ONE DOOR ON THE VAULT. HERE'S WHERE WE LOSE TRUST WITH PEOPLE. IF A GOOD FRIEND COMES UP TO ME AND SAYS, "OH, MY GOD, DID YOU HEAR ABOUT CAROLINE? THEY'RE GETTING A DIVORCE, AND IT IS UGLY. I'M PRETTY SURE HER PARTNER'S CHEATING." YOU HAVE JUST SHARED SOMETHING WITH ME THAT WAS NOT YOURS TO SHARE, AND NOW MY TRUST FOR YOU, EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE GOSSIPING AND GIVING ME THE JUICE -- NOW MY TRUST FOR YOU IS COMPLETELY DIMINISHED. DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? SO THE VAULT IS NOT JUST ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU HOLD MY CONFIDENCES. IT'S THAT IN OUR RELATIONSHIP, I SEE THAT YOU ACKNOWLEDGE CONFIDENTIALITY. HERE'S THE TRICKY THING ABOUT THE VAULT. A LOT OF TIMES, WE SHARE THINGS THAT ARE NOT OURS TO SHARE AS A WAY TO HOT-WIRE CONNECTION WITH A FRIEND, RIGHT? IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY, COME SIT NEXT TO ME. YOU KNOW, THAT'S -- YES OR NO? LIKE, OUR CLOSENESS IS BUILT ON TALKING BAD ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. YOU KNOW WHAT I CALL THAT? COMMON-ENEMY INTIMACY. WHAT WE HAVE IS NOT REAL. THE INTIMACY WE HAVE IS BUILT ON HATING THE SAME PEOPLE. AND THAT'S COUNTERFEIT. THAT'S COUNTERFEIT TRUST. THAT'S NOT REAL. SO THE VAULT MEANS YOU RESPECT MY STORY BUT YOU RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE'S STORY. "I" -- INTEGRITY. I CANNOT TRUST YOU AND BE IN A TRUSTING RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU IF YOU DO NOT ACT FROM A PLACE OF INTEGRITY AND ENCOURAGE ME TO DO THE SAME. SO, WHAT IS INTEGRITY? SO I CAME UP WITH THIS DEFINITION 'CAUSE I DIDN'T LIKE ANY OF THE ONES OUT THERE AND THAT'S WHAT I DO WHEN I DON'T LIKE THEM. I DO. I LOOK IN THE DATA, AND I SAY, "WHAT'S INTEGRITY?" HERE'S WHAT I THINK INTEGRITY IS -- THREE PIECES. IT'S CHOOSING COURAGE OVER COMFORT, CHOOSING WHAT'S RIGHT OVER WHAT'S FUN, FAST, OR EASY, AND PRACTICING YOUR VALUES, NOT JUST PROFESSING YOUR VALUES. RIGHT? I MEAN, THAT'S INTEGRITY. [ APPLAUSE ] "N" -- NON-JUDGMENT. I CAN FALL APART, ASK FOR HELP, AND BE IN STRUGGLE WITHOUT BEING JUDGED BY YOU, AND YOU CAN FALL APART AND BE IN STRUGGLE AND ASK FOR HELP WITHOUT BEING JUDGED BY ME, WHICH IS REALLY HARD BECAUSE WE'RE BETTER AT HELPING THAN WE ARE ASKING FOR HELP. AND WE THINK THAT WE'VE SET UP TRUSTING RELATIONSHIPS WITH PEOPLE WHO REALLY TRUST US BECAUSE WE'RE ALWAYS THERE TO HELP THEM. BUT LET ME TELL YOU THIS -- IF YOU CAN'T ASK FOR HELP AND THEY CANNOT RECIPROCATE THAT, THAT IS NOT A TRUSTING RELATIONSHIP, PERIOD. AND WHEN WE ASSIGN VALUE TO NEEDING HELP, WHEN I THINK LESS OF MYSELF FOR NEEDING HELP, WHETHER YOU'RE CONSCIOUS OF IT OR NOT, WHEN YOU OFFER HELP TO SOMEONE, YOU THINK LESS OF THEM, TOO. YOU CANNOT JUDGE YOURSELF FOR NEEDING HELP BUT NOT JUDGE OTHERS FOR NEEDING YOUR HELP. AND SOMEWHERE IN THERE, IF YOU'RE LIKE ME, YOU'RE GETTING VALUE FROM BEING THE HELPER IN A RELATIONSHIP. YOU THINK THAT'S YOUR WORTH. BUT REAL TRUST DOESN'T EXIST UNLESS HELP IS RECIPROCAL IN NON-JUDGMENT. THE LAST ONE IS "G" -- GENEROSITY. OUR RELATIONSHIP IS ONLY A TRUSTING RELATIONSHIP IF YOU CAN ASSUME THE MOST GENEROUS THING ABOUT MY WORDS, INTENTIONS, AND BEHAVIORS AND THEN CHECK IN WITH ME. SO IF I SCREW UP, SAY SOMETHING, FORGET SOMETHING, YOU WILL MAKE A GENEROUS ASSUMPTION AND SAY, "YESTERDAY WAS MY MOM'S ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF HER DEATH, AND IT WAS REALLY TOUGH FOR ME, AND I TALKED TO YOU ABOUT IT LAST MONTH, AND I REALLY WAS HOPING THAT YOU WOULD HAVE CALLED. BUT I KNOW YOU CARE ABOUT ME. I KNOW YOU THINK IT'S A BIG DEAL, SO I WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THAT," AS OPPOSED TO NOT RETURNING CALLS, NOT RETURNING E-MAILS, AND WAITING FOR THE MOMENT WHERE YOU CAN SPRING, "WELL, YOU FORGOT TO CALL ON THIS IMPORTANT --" YOU KNOW. YOU'LL MAKE A GENEROUS ASSUMPTION ABOUT ME AND CHECK IT OUT. DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? SO WE'VE GOT BOUNDARIES, RELIABILITY, ACCOUNTABILITY, THE VAULT, INTEGRITY, NON-JUDGMENT, AND GENEROSITY. THESE -- THIS IS THE ANATOMY OF TRUST. Oprah: COMING UP ON "SUPER SOUL SESSIONS," TIM STOREY. THEY CALL HIM THE PASTOR TO THE STARS. HE CALLED HIS SESSION "THE HEART AND SOUL OF A COMEBACK." SO GOOD, PASTOR TIM. Brown: SO WE'VE GOT BOUNDARIES, RELIABILITY, ACCOUNTABILITY, THE VAULT, INTEGRITY, NON-JUDGMENT, AND GENEROSITY. THESE -- THIS IS THE ANATOMY OF TRUST, AND IT'S COMPLEX. WHY DO WE NEED TO BREAK IT DOWN? FOR A VERY SIMPLE REASON. HOW MANY OF YOU IN HERE HAVE EVER STRUGGLED WITH TRUST IN A RELATIONSHIP -- PROFESSIONAL OR PERSONAL? IT SHOULD BE EVERYBODY, STATISTICALLY, RIGHT? [ LAUGHTER ] AND SO WHAT YOU END UP SAYING TO SOMEONE IS, "I DON'T TRUST YOU." "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T TRUST ME? I LOVE YOU. I'M SO DEPENDABLE. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T TRUST ME?" HOW DO WE TALK ABOUT TRUST IF WE CAN'T BREAK IT DOWN? WHAT UNDERSTANDING TRUST GIVES US IS WORDS TO SAY, "HERE'S MY STRUGGLE. YOU'RE NOT RELIABLE WITH ME. YOU SAY YOU'RE GOING TO DO SOMETHING. I COUNT ON IT. YOU DON'T DO IT." OR MAYBE THE ISSUE IS NON-JUDGMENT. BUT WE CAN BREAK IT DOWN AND TALK ABOUT IT AND ASK FOR WHAT WE NEED VERY SPECIFICALLY. INSTEAD OF USING THIS HUGE WORD THAT HAS TONS OF WEIGHT AND VALUE AROUND IT, WE CAN SAY, "HERE'S SPECIFICALLY WHAT'S NOT WORKING. WHAT'S NOT WORKING IS WE'VE GOT A BOUNDARIES ISSUE." SO ONE OF THE THINGS THAT'S INTERESTING, I THINK, IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST CASUALTIES WITH HEARTBREAK AND DISAPPOINTMENT AND FAILURE AND OUR STRUGGLE IS NOT JUST THE LOSS OF TRUST WITH OTHER PEOPLE, BUT THE LOSS OF SELF-TRUST. WHEN SOMETHING HARD HAPPENS IN OUR LIVES, THE FIRST THING WE SAY IS, "I CAN'T TRUST MYSELF. I WAS SO STUPID. I WAS SO NAIVE." SO THIS B.R.A.V.I.N.G. ACRONYM WORKS WITH SELF-TRUST, TOO. SO WHEN SOMETHING HAPPENS -- I JUST RECENTLY WENT THROUGH A REALLY TOUGH FAILURE, AND I HAD TO ASK MYSELF, "DID I HONOR MY OWN BOUNDARIES? WAS I RELIABLE? CAN I COUNT ON MYSELF? DID I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE? WAS I REALLY PROTECTIVE OF MY STORIES? DID I STAY IN MY INTEGRITY? WAS I JUDGMENTAL TOWARD MYSELF? AND DID I GIVE MYSELF THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT? WAS I GENEROUS TOWARD MYSELF?" BECAUSE IF BRAVING RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHER PEOPLE IS BRAVING CONNECTION, SELF-TRUST IS BRAVING SELF-LOVE, SELF-RESPECT, THE WILDEST ADVENTURE WE'LL EVER TAKE IN OUR WHOLE LIVES. AND SO WHAT I WOULD INVITE YOU TO THINK ABOUT WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT TRUST IS IF YOUR OWN MARBLE JAR IS NOT FULL, IF YOU CAN'T COUNT ON YOURSELF, YOU CAN'T ASK OTHER PEOPLE TO GIVE YOU WHAT YOU DON'T HAVE. SO WE HAVE TO START WITH SELF-TRUST. THERE'S A GREAT QUOTE FROM MAYA ANGELOU THAT SAYS, "I DON'T TRUST PEOPLE WHO DON'T LOVE THEMSELVES BUT SAY, 'I LOVE YOU,'" RIGHT? [ APPLAUSE ] SHE QUOTES AN AFRICAN PROVERB WHEN SHE SAID THAT, AND SHE SAID, "BE WARY OF THE NAKED MAN OFFERING YOU A SHIRT. [ LAUGHTER ] AND SO A LOT OF TIMES, IF YOU FIND YOURSELF IN STRUGGLE WITH TRUST, THE THING TO EXAMINE FIRST IS YOUR OWN MARBLE JAR -- HOW YOU TREAT YOURSELF. BECAUSE WE CAN'T ASK PEOPLE TO GIVE TO US SOMETHING THAT WE DO NOT BELIEVE WE'RE WORTHY OF RECEIVING. AND YOU WILL KNOW YOU'RE WORTHY OF RECEIVING IT WHEN YOU TRUST YOURSELF ABOVE EVERYONE ELSE. SO THANK Y'ALL SO MUCH. I'M SO HONORED TO BE HERE. THANK YOU. THANK Y'ALL. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] THANK YOU. HI, EVERYONE. I'M BRENé BROWN, AND THIS IS COURAGEworks. Oprah: Courageworks.com IS A DYNAMIC DIGITAL PLATFORM AND COMMUNITY WHERE BRENé GOES INTO FULL-ON TEACHING MODE... WHAT IS VULNERABILITY TO YOU? Oprah: ...OFFERING STUDENTS INNOVATIVE, LIFE-CHANGING COURSEWORK AND EXCLUSIVE CONTENT. SO, THESE ARE CONVERSATIONS ABOUT COURAGE WITH PEOPLE WHO I BELIEVE ARE LIVING BRAVE LIVES. WHAT HAS BEEN ONE OF YOUR TOUGHEST FALLS? OH, BOY. HMM. DARE GREATLY, RISE STRONG, AND LIVE BRAVE AT courageworks.com. I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU COMING TO COURAGEworks. I HOPE TO SEE YOU IN THE CLASSROOM. Oprah: BACK WITH OUR NEXT SESSION, "THE HEART AND SOUL OF A COMEBACK" WITH TIM STOREY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] Oprah: WE WANT THIS LIFE-CHANGING CONTENT TO BE ACCESSIBLE TO EVERYONE AND EASY TO FIND. THAT'S WHY WE CREATED supersoul.tv, A DIGITAL PLATFORM EXPERIENCE TO HELP CONNECT YOUR HEART AND SOUL ANYTIME ON ANY DEVICE. LOG ON TO WATCH ALL "SUPER SOUL SESSIONS." YOU CAN ALSO SCROLL THROUGH YOUR FAVORITE MOMENTS FROM "SUPER SOUL SUNDAY" AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED SHORT FILMS. PLUS WATCH ENTIRE EPISODES OF "SUPER SOUL SUNDAY" ON DEMAND. MERCY IS WHAT YOU GIVE TO OTHERS WITH THE HOPE THAT IT'LL COME BACK TO YOU. MM! AND WE LOVE A TWEET FEST. MOVE ON OVER TO THE "SOCIAL" TAB TO SHARE ALL YOUR COMMENTS, THOUGHTS, AND "AHA" MOMENTS USING THE "SUPER SOUL" HASHTAGS. Supersoul.tv, HOME OF CONVERSATIONS THAT MATTER. ONLY YOU KNOW THE PATH TO YOUR OWN TRUTH. SO, I REMEMBER QUINCY JONES TALKING ABOUT THIS PREACHER WHO HAD A NEW WAY OF TEACHING. AND THEN ONE OF MY FORMER EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS, WHO PRODUCED "THE OPRAH WINFREY SHOW" FOR 10 YEARS -- DIANNE HUDSON, WHERE ARE YOU IN HERE? DIANNE HUDSON? YEAH, SHE WAS EXECUTIVE PRODUCER FOR 10 YEARS AND PRODUCED FOR OVER 20. SHE KNEW A SPIRITUAL LEADER THAT I NEEDED TO MEET, AND IT TURNS OUT THEY'RE THE SAME PEOPLE. SO I INTERVIEWED TIM STOREY ON "SUPER SOUL SUNDAY," AND I SAW TWITTER WAS, LIKE, ON FIRE. IT WAS TWEET-TWEETING... [ LAUGHTER ] ...WITH SO MUCH INSPIRATION. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] MINISTER AND LIFE COACH TIM STOREY HAS COUNSELED STEVIE WONDER, KANYE WEST, ROBERT DOWNEY JR., WHO DUBBED HIM "THE COMEBACK COACH." TIM STOREY TRAVELS THE WORLD SHARING HIS INSPIRING MESSAGE OF LIVING YOUR UTMOST LIFE. HE WAS ALSO MY GUEST ON "SUPER SOUL SUNDAY," WHERE WE HAD SO MANY TWEETABLE MOMENTS. A COMEBACK IS NOT A GO-BACK. THAT'S A BIG -- HEY, LET'S TAKE A BREATH THERE. "A COMEBACK IS NOT A GO-BACK." WELCOME TO "SUPER SOUL SESSIONS" TIM STOREY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] I WAS IN LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY, SPEAKING TO A GROUP OF KIDS, AND I SAID TO THEM, "WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?" ONE LITTLE KID SAID, "LeBRON JAMES." A LITTLE GIRL SAID, "I'M A PRINCESS." ANOTHER LITTLE BOY SAID, "THE PRESIDENT," BECAUSE WHEN YOU ARE LITTLE, YOU THINK UTMOST. SOMEBODY SAY, "UTMOST." Audience: UTMOST. THERE ARE THREE LEVELS OF LIVING -- ALMOST, MOST, AND UTMOST. "ALMOST" MEANS "NOT QUITE." "I ALMOST WAS HAPPY." "Match.com ALMOST WORKED." [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHUCKLES ] "I ALMOST LOST THE WEIGHT." I WAS RAISED IN AN "ALMOST" FAMILY TO START. MY MOTHER IS SPANISH, VECINITA GONZALEZ. AND SHE HAD A SIXTH-GRADE EDUCATION, WORKED AT A PLACE CALLED WINCHELL'S DONUT SHOP. ANYBODY EVER BEEN THERE? [ SCATTERED APPLAUSE ] MY FATHER, STEELWORKER, BETHLEHEM STEEL -- 10th-GRADE EDUCATION. AND SO WHEN WE WANTED CONVERSE TENNIS SHOES, WE ALMOST GOT CONVERSE. [ LAUGHTER ] LEVI'S -- WE GOT PLEVI'S. [ CHUCKLES ] SO YOU ALMOST START GETTING STUCK IN AN "ALMOST" LIFE. TRY THAT. SAY, "STUCK"... Audience: STUCK... ..."IN AN 'ALMOST' LIFE." ...IN AN "ALMOST" LIFE. BUT THEN ONE DAY, SOME PEOPLE GAVE US TICKETS TO GO TO A PLACE CALLED DISNEYLAND, ALSO KNOWN, A.K.A., AS THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH. AND AS AN 8-YEAR-OLD, I WENT TO DISNEYLAND, AND MY LIFE CHANGED BECAUSE I WENT AROUND DISNEYLAND AND THEY HAD, LIKE, TOMORROWLAND AND FRONTIERLAND, AND THEY HAD A BEAR THAT WAS SINGING. AND THEN THEY HAD "IT'S A SMALL WORLD." BUT WHEN I WENT ON "IT'S A SMALL WORLD," I'M TELLING YOU, MY EYES GOT SUPER-GIANT, BECAUSE I SAW ALL THESE COUNTRIES, AND IT CONNECTED ME TO THE PERSON THAT I WAS REALLY SUPPOSED TO BE -- THAT EVEN THOUGH I WAS TRAPPED IN AN "ALMOST" SITUATION, I AM AN "UTMOST" PERSON. SEE, THE REAL YOU WILL MAKE A DEMAND ON THE YOU THAT YOU'VE BECOME. YOU WERE NEVER CREATED TO BE "ALMOST," NOR WERE YOU CREATED TO BE "MOST." TO BE "MOST" MEANS THERE'S A CEILING. IF I WAS TO LET GO A HELIUM BALLOON TODAY, EVEN THOUGH THE CEILINGS ARE SO HIGH, THERE'S A CEILING. BUT WHERE YOU'RE HEADED IN 2015, '16, '17, '18, '19, '20, THERE IS NO CEILING. SOMEBODY CLAP IF YOU BELIEVE THAT. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] Storey: I WAS IN WASHINGTON, D.C., AND I WAS SPEAKING AT THIS CONFERENCE, AND THESE TWO LITTLE GIRLS CAME UP TO ME, AND THEY LOOKED LIKE VENUS AND SERENA. AND THEY WERE LITTLE TINY VERSIONS OF THEM. AND THEY HAD BRAIDS IN THEIR HAIR AND THEY HAD WHITE BEADS LIKE VENUS AND SERENA USED TO HAVE BACK IN THE DAY. AND SO THESE LITTLE GIRLS CAME UP. AND I FOUND OUT THAT ONE WAS 5. THE LITTLE SISTER WAS 3. AND THEY CAME UP AND THEY WERE SHAKING THEIR HEADS. WATCH -- THEY WERE GOING, "SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH." [ LAUGHTER ] AND YOU COULD HEAR IT. THEY WERE GOING, "SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH." AND THEIR PARENTS WERE GOING, "SHH! I'M TALKING TO MR. STOREY." AND THEY JUST KEPT GOING, "SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH." SO THEN I SAID, "SHAKE YOUR HEAD, SHAKE YOUR HEAD, SHAKE YOUR HEAD." AND THEY WENT, "SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH." AND THEN WE WERE DOING SOME ADULT TALK. AND THEN THEY SAID, "HEY, SIR, SAY IT AGAIN." I SAID, "SHAKE YOUR HEAD, SHAKE YOUR HEAD, SHAKE YOUR HEAD." "SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH." [ LAUGHTER ] AND THEN I NOTICED AS THEY WALKED AWAY, THEY SAID IT TO EACH OTHER. THEY SAID, "SAY IT." AND THE LITTLE SISTER SAID, "SHAKE YOUR HEAD, SHAKE YOUR HEAD, SHAKE YOUR HEAD." "SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH." "WHAT'S YOUR POINT, TIM STOREY?" I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU. [ LAUGHTER ] WE CANNOT STAY STUCK. WE GOT TO HAVE THOSE "SHAKE YOUR HEAD" MOMENTS, EVEN WHEN WE'RE NOT IN THE MOOD. WE GOT TO GET OUR SHOUT BACK. SOMEBODY CLAP LIKE YOU'RE GONNA GET YOUR SHOUT BACK. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] COME ON, NOW. "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S DONE TO ME." SHAKE YOUR HEAD, SHAKE YOUR HEAD, SHAKE YOUR HEAD. "MY MOTHER'S AT IT AGAIN." SHAKE YOUR HEAD, SHAKE YOUR HEAD, SHAKE YOUR HEAD. SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH. [ LAUGHTER ] I WAS AT THE DMV THE OTHER DAY, AND I JUST WENT, "SHH, SHH, SHH." HEY! I'M GONNA SHAKE MY HEAD. [ LAUGHS ] SAY, "SIT." Audience: SIT. SETTLE. Audience: SETTLE. AND SOME PEOPLE KNOW PEOPLE THAT HAVE CEMENTED THEMSELVES IN A SETBACK. OOH, THEY HAVE CEMENTED THEMSELF. [ LAUGHTER ] "SEE, I WOULD HAVE HAD A GOOD LIFE HAD IT NOT BEEN FOR YOUR FATHER." [ LAUGHTER ] COME ON. SOME PEOPLE SIT. SOME PEOPLE SETTLE. SOME PEOPLE CEMENT THEMSELF. IN 70 COUNTRIES OF THE WORLD, TO SOMETIMES 80,000 PEOPLE AT A TIME, I TELL THEM, "WHILE YOU'RE FEELING THE STING OF YOUR SETBACK, GOD IS PREPARING YOUR COMEBACK." SOMEBODY CLAP LIKE YOUR COMEBACK IS ON ITS WAY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] COME ON. SHAKE YOUR HEAD, SHAKE YOUR HEAD, SHAKE YOUR HEAD. YOU'RE ABOUT TO COME BACK. I SAID, YOU'RE ABOUT TO COME BACK. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] SEE, BUT A COMEBACK IS NOT A GO-BACK. OKAY, SEE, 'CAUSE SOME OF YOU HAVE HAD A SETBACK, AND NOW YOU'RE GONNA TRY TO GO BACK AND FIX IT ALL. "IF I CAN FIX THIS, THEN I'LL BE ALL RIGHT." COME ON. "THEN IF I CAN FIX THIS..." NO, A COMEBACK IS NOT A GO-BACK. THAT'S PAST. FORGET ABOUT THE FORMER THINGS AND DO NOT DWELL ON THE PAST, FOR, BEHOLD, GOD IS DOING A NEW THING. THERE ARE NEW THINGS HAPPENING FOR YOU. YOUR LIFE IS ABOUT TO BE INCREDIBLE. CLAP YOUR HANDS LIKE IT'S ABOUT TO... [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] COME ON! ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. "YOU GOT MY ATTENTION. YOU GOT MY ATTENTION. NOW, HOW DO I DO IT?" A "GOD IDEA" COMEBACK IS THREE THINGS. IT'S GOD. IT'S GOD-BREATHED. WHETHER YOU MEDITATE, WHETHER YOU STUDY, WHETHER YOU'RE LIKE OPRAH AND YOU GO OUTSIDE IN YOUR BEAUTIFUL HOME AND YOU MEDITATE AND YOU THINK. A "GOD IDEA" COMEBACK IS GOD-BREATHED, WHEN THE RUACH, THE BREATH OF GOD COMES INTO YOUR SOUL. I'M WITH PRISONERS, AND I SAY, "JUST MEDITATE AND LET THE BREATH COME IN." I'M WITH PEOPLE THAT COME BACK FROM WAR. I SAY, "LET THE BREATH COME IN." WITH ENTERTAINERS THAT YOU KNOW THAT ARE IN TROUBLE, I SAID, "LET HIS BREATH COME IN." SEE, A COMEBACK, A COMEBACK FROM GOD IS GOD-BREATHED, AND WHEN HE BREATHES INTO YOU, YOU GET INSPIRED. Storey: I WAS HUNGRY ONE DAY, AND I WAS WATCHING THE LAKERS ON TV. AND I LIVE BY MYSELF. AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO COOK YET. SO I WENT TO THIS PLACE CALLED CHILI'S TO GET MYSELF THE OLDTIMER. SO I GO TO CHILI'S TO GET THE OLDTIMER, AND I WAS EXCITED ABOUT IT. 'CAUSE THAT'S NOT HOW I USUALLY EAT. SO I WANTED TO GET IT. SO I GOT THE OLDTIMER AND I GOT MYSELF SOME FRIES AND I GOT MYSELF A DRINK. BUT THEN I REALIZED I HAD AN APPOINTMENT THE NEXT DAY AND I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH GAS. SO I WENT TO THE GAS STATION, AND THERE WAS A BROTHER, AFRICAN-AMERICAN, YOUNG GUY. HE WAS OUT THERE AND HE WAS ASKING FOR MONEY. AND IT WAS DECEMBER AND IT WAS COLD IN L.A., WHICH DOESN'T ALWAYS HAPPEN. SO HE WAS ASKING ME FOR MONEY. I SAID, "YO, MAN," I SAID, "IT'S COLD OUT HERE. I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A LOT OF MONEY, BUT I GOT TO HEAR YOUR STORY. SO YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO HEAR A SPEECH. SO GET IN MY CAR." [ LAUGHTER ] SOMEBODY SAY, "IT'S TIME FOR YOUR COMEBACK." WELL, LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT HIS MOTHER HAD BEEN PRAYING FOR HIM BECAUSE HE HAD A PROBLEM WITH BEING SCHIZOPHRENIC, AND HE WAS OFF HIS MEDICINE. AND HE HAD COME FROM NASHVILLE TO L.A. TO BECOME AN ACTOR. HE WAS OFF HIS MEDICINE AND HE HAD BEEN WANDERING THE STREETS FOR A MONTH. Y'ALL BETTER PAY ATTENTION. SO HIS MOTHER HAD BEEN PRAYING THAT HE WOULD GET A BREAKTHROUGH. AND SO NOW HE'S ASKING ME FOR MONEY. I BRING HIM IN MY CAR, AND HE'S SITTING IN MY CAR, SO I START TALKING TO HIM, LIKE, "WHERE ARE YOU FROM?" AND HE'S A LITTLE OFF. AND THE FIRST THING HE SAYS IS HE GOES, "WHAT'S IN THE BAG?" I SAID, "THAT'S A HAMBURGER." HE SAID, "WELL, I'M KIND OF HUNGRY." YOU GOT TO REMEMBER, I WAS HUNGRY FIRST, REMEMBER? [ LAUGHTER ] SO I'M LIKE, "YO, BROTHER MAN. I JUST -- I'M TRYING TO GIVE YOU MONEY FOR THE BREAKTHROUGH, AND NOW YOU WANT MY HAMBURGER." SO I GIVE HIM MY HAMBURGER. HE'S EATING MY HAMBURGER IN FRONT OF ME. AND THEN HE SAYS, "WHAT ELSE? I SMELL SOMETHING ELSE?" I SAID, "THOSE ARE SOME FRIES." HE TOOK MY FRIES. SO WATCH THIS, 'CAUSE THIS IS AWESOME. THE KID'S IN A SETBACK. BUT THE MOTHER IS PRAYING FOR A COMEBACK. BUT IT TAKES SOMEBODY WHO'S NOT JUST FEELING SORRY FOR THEMSELF. SEE, IF WE JUST FEEL SORRY FOR OURSELF, THEN WE CANNOT BE AN AGENT OF CHANGE FOR SOMEBODY ELSE. SEE, GOD WILL ALWAYS DELIVER HIS DELIVERERS. WE ARE DELIVERERS. CLAP YOUR HANDS IF YOU HEAR WHAT I'M SAYING. [ APPLAUSE ] COME ON! SO, IT'S A SETUP. SOMEBODY SAY, "IT'S A SETUP." Audience: IT'S A SETUP. PEOPLE, IT'S A SETUP. THE MOM WAS PRAYING IN NASHVILLE. THE KID'S OUT OF IT. NO ONE'S PAYING ATTENTION. THAT'S SOMEBODY'S CHILD. SO I SAY TO HIM, "WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? WHAT'S GOING ON?" HE SAID, "I'M OFF MY MEDS. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE I AM." I SAID, "GIVE ME THE NUMBER. GIVE ME YOUR MOTHER'S NUMBER." HE SAID, "I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T HAVE A PHONE. I DON'T KNOW THE NUMBER." I SAID, "YOU SAID YOU'RE FROM NASHVILLE. 615." AND THEN HE GOES, "578." HE STARTED GIVING ME THE NUMBER. THAT WAS NOT BY ACCIDENT. THAT WAS NOT BY ACCIDENT. THAT WAS NOT -- COME ON, PEOPLE. THAT WAS NOT BY ACCIDENT. WHY DID YOU CARE? BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THROUGH MY OWN HELL. WHY DID YOU CARE? BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THROUGH MY OWN PAIN. I CAN'T LEAVE -- I CAN'T LEAVE THAT KID LIKE THAT. BAM, IT WAS THE NUMBER. WE CALL THE MOTHER ON THE PHONE. SHE GOES, "I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING." SHE SAID, "I'VE BEEN PRAYING. THE FAMILY'S PRAYING. WE DIDN'T KNOW IF HE WAS DEAD. HE'S OFF HIS MEDICATION." WE GET HIM TO HIS AUNT'S HOUSE, WHO WAS ONLY THREE BLOCKS AWAY. SEE... SOMETIMES WE GO THROUGH STUFF, BUT, THANK GOD, IT DID NOT LEAVE YOU BITTER. IT LEFT YOU BETTER. IT'S TIME FOR YOUR COMEBACK. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] Oprah: GOOD MORNING! ON THE NEXT "SUPER SOUL SESSIONS"... Oprah: MIND-OPENING... NONE OF US SHOULD REACH FOR NORMAL. NORMAL IS SO BASIC. Oprah: ...AND LAUGH-OUT-LOUD MOMENTS. I SAID, "NO!" [ LAUGHTER ] Oprah: NINE MORE "SUPER SOUL SESSIONS." POWERHOUSE AND LIFE COACH IYANLA VANZANT... STAND ON YOUR LINE. STAND FOR YOUR NO. AND STAND FOR YOUR YES. YES. Oprah: ...SPIRITUAL PIONEER MARIANNE WILLIAMSON... WHERE I WAS WEAK, I'M GONNA BE STRONG. AND WHERE I WAS SELFISH, I'M GONNA BE GIVING. Oprah: ...BEST-SELLING AUTHOR ROB BELL... IT'S NOT THAT YOU HAVE A SPIRITUAL LIFE. YOU ARE A SPIRITUAL LIFE. Oprah: ...SPIRITUAL MAVERICK MICHAEL BERNARD BECKWITH... WHEN YOU BELIEVE MORE IN WHAT YOU DON'T SEE THAN IN WHAT YOU DO SEE, THEN WHAT YOU DO SEE YOU WON'T SEE AND WHAT YOU DON'T SEE YOU WILL SEE. I'LL REPEAT IT. Oprah: ...THE HAPPINESS PROFESSOR, SHAWN ACHOR... IF YOU'RE TAKING NOTES, WRITE THAT ONE DOWN, BECAUSE THAT'S IMPORTANT. HAPPINESS IS THE JOY YOU FEEL MOVING TOWARDS YOUR POTENTIAL. Oprah: ..."EAT, PRAY, LOVE" AUTHOR ELIZABETH GILBERT... AND JUST FOR NOW, JUST TAKE THE WORD "PASSION" OFF THE TABLE. Oprah: ...TALK-SHOW HOST AND TRANSGENDER ADVOCATE JANET MOCK... Mock: AND IT WAS STUNNING. AND IT WAS PERFECT. AND IT WAS A LIE. Oprah: ...THE ONE AND ONLY DEEPAK CHOPRA... A BELIEF IS A THOUGHT THAT IS TRUE FOR YOU. SIMPLE. Oprah: ...AND MY SPECIAL MESSAGE FOR YOU. WE ALL JUST WANT TO KNOW THAT WE ARE HEARD AND WE ARE VALUED AND THAT WHAT WE HAVE TO SAY MATTERS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] GO TO supersoul.tv TO VIEW ALL THE "SUPER SOUL SESSIONS" ANYTIME ON ANY DEVICE. I THINK I LIVE AND DIE BY GRACE. BUT I THINK GRACE IS A TOUGH THING, BECAUSE GRACE IS... YOU CAN'T EARN IT, AND YOU CAN'T PUSH IT AWAY. IT'S THE THING THAT PULLS YOU UP OUT OF STRUGGLE AND SAYS, "YOU GET TO TRY AGAIN." AND EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T WANT TO BE PULLED OUT OF STRUGGLE OR TRY AGAIN, IT'S THE THING THAT SAYS, "YOU'RE GOING TO TRY AGAIN." IT'S A POWERFUL PART OF MY LIFE. BEING HUMAN IS WONDERFUL. GOD KNOWS WHAT HE MADE. HE MADE HUMANS. IN PSALMS 103, IT SAYS THAT "GOD KNOWS YOUR FRAME." THE WORD "FRAME" MEANS YOUR STRUCTURE, YOUR MAKEUP. HE KNEW THAT YOU HAD FAULTS, FLAWS, AND FAILURES. HE KNOWS THAT WE DON'T HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER. BUT, SEE, GOD USES SHAKY PEOPLE TO DO STURDY PROJECTS. WE'RE GROWING. GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK. YOU'RE HUMAN.