Lecture Notes: Reject Your Ex Properly

Introduction

• Speaker: Coach Black, internet, relationship, and breakup coach.
• Topic: How to reject your ex properly to make them obsess about you.

Key Concepts

Attraction vs. Love

• Attraction must come before love:
  • Your ex left because their attraction was low.
  • They thought they could find better opportunities outside the relationship.
• Re-establish your value:
  • Engage their emotions before returning to love.

Zahavian Signaling Theory

• Overview: A signal is honest if it is costly.
• Example in Nature:
  • Male peacock's tail is costly but attracts mates.
  • Vulnerability to predators shows other survival qualities.

Applying Zahavian Signaling to Relationships

• No Contact:
  • Communicates high self-worth and attractiveness.
  • Shows you won’t beg for scraps or act desperate.
• Human Pattern Recognition:
  • Exes form patterns and assumptions about us.
  • No contact breaks old unattractive patterns.

Rejection Breeds Obsession

• Avoid chasing:
  • Only high-quality people do not chase.
  • Confirm your worth through actions, not desperation.
• Ignore breadcrumbs:
  • Small gestures from exes are tests.
  • Ignoring them sends a strong signal of self-worth.

Escalation

• Ex’s response to rejection:
  • May increase attempts to contact (e.g., late-night texts).
  • Show restraint and lack of desperation.

Common Mistakes

• Avoid giving too much too soon:
  • Do not instantly rekindle the relationship.
  • Overcome fear of losing them.
• Be Indifferent:
  • Show you have options.
  • Indifference is powerful in reversing roles.

Final Strategy

• Reject in subtle ways:
  • Communicate not afraid of losing them.
• Evaluate from a powerful position:
  • Retain the driver’s seat in deciding if the relationship is worth pursuing.

Closing Remarks

• Open for comments and one-on-one consultations.
• Encouragement to like and subscribe to the channel.