Transcript for:
Making a Man Obsessed on First Dates

what would you do if you had the power to know exactly how to get a man obsessed with you on the very first date if you knew all of the secrets to make a man melt the first time he ever meets you how much easier would your dating life be lucky for you on today's show we're going to be discussing five first date moves that will make him want you so much more that way you can finally stop fumbling and stumbling on your dates and get those men begging to take you out again before you can even get back home welcome to the Players Club if you're paying attention to me and everyone else in the live stream please stay here present so that I know you're here present and actively participating Welcome All You Beautiful People to the show so good to see you I've been having some sort of weird issue with Tik Tok i' be trying to post the promotion of the show like the intro to the show on my Tik Tok page as a video and some sometimes it just doesn't work so I don't know I've been trying to figure that out if anyone knows why that's not working uh but Welcome All You Beautiful People good to see you here today I see we got uh sh in the chat I see we got Jade we got Scotty kolina Nisha adorable Maria Orwell Welcome All You Beautiful People Rosemary as well Len leak as well welcome All You Beautiful People in the Tik Tok chat who we got over in the YouTube chat here we got got Missy America we or Missy America is you know I usually shout her out last but today it's first we got Missy America we got Tracy NS we got uh Enlighten a one of our ogs Ivy of course cashley her twin and uh I see Sonia here uh who else we got here Tracy NS was number one today Irena and much more in the YouTube chat Welcome All You Beautiful People I'm going to make sure that we get the uh YouTube chat out here up on the screen so there's uh no confusion we want the YouTube chat to feel part of the conversation okay uh and let's get started today you know we don't like to waste too much time in the intro okay so number one today that we're going to be discussing first things first I want us to be on the same page about is fixation and Fascination okay so number one is fixation and Fascination now when I say fixation and fascination what I'm referring to why this is such a great move on your first date right and this is such a great idea to make the guy want you more because all the things we're going to discuss today is about getting him enchanted with you because when he's enchanted with you you'll be able to extract information from him and he won't realize that you're extracting information from him because he'll be so excited to tell you everything he's thinking and everything he's feeling and everything that's on his mind and number two you'll be winning because the more information you get the easier it will be for you to decide is this the guy that you're looking for or not it'll also make it very easy for him to take off this mask and him to present you more of what he actually is like as opposed to telling you what you want to hear and you'll be getting real information instead of that fake information that you can't really use you understand what I'm saying we don't we don't want you having fake information that you can't really use we want you to have the real stuff that you can actually utilize in your uh situation with this guy okay does that make sense so when I say fixation and Fascination what I want you to be doing when you go on these dates with these guys is I want you to be presenting yourself as if when you get on this date and I know it's going to sound weird but when you get on this date I want you to make him feel like you have a fixation on him and you are completely and utterly fascinated by everything he has to say okay I know you're probably thinking when I say make him fixated and fascinated on you you're thinking Thompson like come on man like like this is shouldn't all be about him what about my joy I want joy too I want to enjoy myself too I want to Yap too I want to talk about myself and the things that I'm going through too you will get that opportunity don't worry okay never worry I got you you're going to get that opportunity however that opportunity is going to come when it's time and when it's someone you can actually trust with that I don't want you going out and yapping a bunch and Trauma dumping a bunch with a guy that is not actually who you're looking for are you following me so far very important that you don't just Yap and Trauma dump on with guys that are not actually uh the type of guy you're looking for that you don't even know if you can trust him with that information okay you have to know that uh for sure uh you can trust him with that information before you go out trauma dumping and yapping okay so when I say fixation and Fascination what I want you to make him feel like cuz this is uh notice what we're going to discuss today is going to be a little bit deeper into psychology but I want you to understand there's a really important reason for that I want you to plant a seed inside him that's going to sprout very uh uh particular emotions those particular emotions that Sprout inside him the way he's going to react and respond to those is going to be in a particular way that I understand and know how men respond to things and then he's actually going to be more interested in you or feel like he had a better time on this date uh with you because of those seeds that you planted inside him so if you're strategic in the emotions that you plant inside him via these seeds and then when they sprout into that actual reaction or that actual feeling you get what you want because the guy wants you more and then what's he doing when uh the moment you walk out of this date or the moment the date ends he's calling you and texting you asking you when you guys can go out on a date again so you end up up winning with this strategy now when I say fixation and Fascination what I'm referring to specifically I want you to make him feel like this is the seed that you're planning specifically I want you to make him feel like you're fixated and fascinated with everything that he has to say on this date okay now uh the reason for that is because when people feel like you're actually interested in what they have to say and they you're actually fascinated with what they're saying and telling you currently it gives them the green light to continue sharing more and more with you and you're going to notice a theme throughout everything that we talk about here majority of what I we talk about in terms of uh getting a guy to want you more because of this first date all of it stems around getting him to talk getting him to share getting him to feel good about this situation by talking about about himself and sharing himself whether it be emotionally physically all that good stuff right you want him to be pouring and investing into you why cuz you get all the advantage that way because you have the information now and you also have uh uh the fact that he's sharing with you is emotional investment in you okay so you win twofold now uh it's very important that when we talk about the fixation and the fascination that we're very clear on what I mean by a fixation and a Fascination so I'll tell you exactly what not to do and what I don't mean by this when I say fixation and Fascination I do not mean sit down on your first date with him and immediately start complimenting him about how good his shirt looks about how uh uh strong his big his muscles are about how tall he is and how amazing his smile is and how you've never seen a guy as handsome as as you've seen him okay I don't want you doing that in fact that's the exact opposite of what I want you to do the last thing I ever want you to do out on a date with a guy is verbally compliment him but we're going to talk about that more okay I know that it sounds kind of weird cuz you're thinking to yourself what I thought wouldn't that make him feel good if I verbally complim no that makes you feel good when guys compliment you it works differently as an effect for guys especially on the very first date going o over and above with all the compliments just makes him feel like he doesn't need to do any more for you or in this talking stage right the work is already done because you're already head over heels in love with him you don't want him having that feeling on the very first date however you can give him a Feeling of fixation and Fascination without verbally complimenting him and verbally spewing all these uh stuff about how amaz amazing he is the fixation and Fascination I'm discussing is a fascination with the fact that your life is so interesting the way you think is so interesting the way you go about life and approach relationships is so interesting and fascinating to me I am so enamored and fascinated with how you operate I would love to hear you talk more about yourself how you feel why you did this why you did that in your past relationship this went here in your in your uh in with your most recent ex it ended because of this tell me how it made you feel tell me why you responded that way tell me all the things about you and your thought process to help me better understand you because I just find the fact that you're a different human being and you think differently I find that so fascinating okay now I you don't necessarily have to go that deep and P it on that thick in terms of what you say but this is the feeling that I want you to implant in him remember at the beginning of this I told you you're planting a seed in him that's meant to sprout particular emotions okay so when you make him feel like you're super fascinated with the person that he is and super fascinated with the way that he thinks and super fascinated with how he goes about life what does that do for him oh well I didn't I never thought of myself as that interesting but I mean the way you're making me feel I guess maybe I am that interesting so you actually want to know an even crazier story about me and my ex so actually she never knew this keep this quiet just me and you right like you you we're cool I actually I actually cheated on her a few times and she never found out isn't that that's crazy right but let me explain to you cuz I know you like to hear how I think let me explain to you what my thought process was and then you just go oh that's so interesting so explain to me like what transpired in your relationship that really brought you to that point I'm so curious yeah how do you think about that how did that make you feel when she neglected you like you said and then you cheat yeah that's so and the work the work was getting in the way of your explain that to me yeah yeah yeah I want to know more right and this Fascination that you give them Contin ly confirms in their mind oh I I should be sharing more I should be talking more this is this is going really well right because remember what I said well if you joined me on the shows before you'll remember what I I talked to you guys about in terms of guys are most likely when they want something from you they're most likely to try to fit the mold of whatever it is you seem to be looking for and whatever confirmation like positive confirmation and feedback they're getting from you they feel like they're getting some in this relationship with you if they're getting those positive signals so I'll give you a different type of example if you say I've always wanted a guy who will buy me flowers because in my last relationships I've never had a guy who would buy me flowers and take me out to a nice restaurant what do you think if he thinks oh I want something from you I want access to you what do you think is some of the first things he's going to be thinking of doing right he's going to be thinking let me get her flowers and let me take her to the exact spot she said she would always love to be taken to because if I can do that right for her then that will make it that much easier for me to be accepted by her and if she likes me and accepts me then I will get access to her which is why I say not to tell guys real information about how to get the keys to your heart because a lot of guys are just going to utilize that information to make you feel like they're the person you're looking for but when they real when you realize that they're not the person you're looking for it's after you slept with him so you're actually using this psychology to your advantage that guys naturally want to align them if they're on a date with you of course they naturally want to align themselves with what they feel like you're looking for so when you're giving him a bunch of positive feedback in terms of feeling like oh wow this is so fascinating how you think and if you could explain to me in even more detail exactly why you went about it like that and exactly why you think about relationships like that and you react like that that would be so much more interesting to me and I find that so fascinating when you approach it like that you're giving him that positive feedback loop where oh she really likes when I'm open she really enjoys when I'm honest she really loves to hear me talk about my feelings talk about what I think talk about how I go about relationships even if it's not pretty even if it's not fancy and even if um it doesn't necessarily sound good she she loves hearing me Yap more than anything else and I want to make her happy so I guess I'll Yap right I feel good yapping I feel like the man I feel like you're interested in what I have to say so I'll keep yapping okay Michelle uh uh mé says that's so Twisted they actually think like that you have to understand right natural to all human beings this is kind of a psychology trick but you're just utilizing it on your dates natural to all human beings everyone loves talking about themselves okay there is no one on this planet that doesn't enjoy talking about themselves right or talking about things that they find interesting okay you're not going to get someone yapping by saying Hey I want us to talk about my life and I hope that we talk about when the process of us talking about my life you'll become more interested invested and become more open no that's not how you get people open up how you get people to open up is by getting them to talk about themselves and talk about things that they're already interested in and passionate about so already that is kind of like a psychology trick that you can use utilize to your advantage to get the men to be more interested in you on that very first date also when people are talking about themselves or talking about things that they find interesting you make it that much easier right uh because he already finds it interesting and because he's going to open up more because he's talking about something that he finds interesting when you are giving him that positive feedback of making him feel like you're fixated and fascinated with everything that he has to say now you're making it that much easier for him to continue sharing and continue dumping and continue uh just being honest and open with you because now on top of the fact he already enjoys talking about things that he's interested in and already enjoys talking about himself and his life right now he's seeing that you really enjoy that as well so he feels like he's actually doing you a favor by talking more about himself it's so so so powerful so powerful you're almost going to want to shed I listen to me when I discovered this this m trick right I guess you call it a trick or just like hack to life you'll discover how much more easy life is and you'll you'll be like oh my God I never realized what I was missing out on just by good being a good question asker and just by knowing how to present myself so I look like I'm super interested in what you have to say because that's the craziest part the guys actually start to believe that they're doing you a favor by being so open and honest with you and telling them everything about themselves it's crazy it's crazy they actually and I know the reason I'm saying this is because I know for some of you you have you have struggled getting guys to tell you the truth getting guys to be honest with you getting guys to tell you how they really feel until it's too late or until after you sleep with them then he's talking about yeah I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship and you're thinking in your mind why didn't you tell me that and be honest with me about that at the very beginning so so this is something that will help you and it will change your life because when guys are on dates with you and they feel like you're they're actually doing you a favor by sharing about themselves and talking about their interests they'll never stop yapping and it makes it they just go down into the spiral you know how we talk about the negative spiral they go down into this positive spiral it's positive for you because they continuously Yap about whatever it is that's on their mind or what whatever question it is you're asking whatever question or topic it is that he's answering about himself or what he's interested in or his life and in the process of that he just snowballs and he forgets the fact that you're not sharing anything literally forgets it he can't he can't even realize that you're steering this conversation into all the places that you want very detailed information and in the process of him sharing and you being so fixated and fascinated with everything that he has to say he's actually spilling the beans on all of these very important certain pieces of information that you need to have access to in order to determine are you who I'm looking for so this is why it's it's it's such a hack to life because it helps you in multiple ways you learn more about him and you get to decide if he's actually who you're looking for right because he's more open and honest with you but also he finds you more interesting and fascinating not because you're talking or saying anything but because you're such a good listener and because you're enchanting him that's like the spell that you cast you know when you're enchanting him by making him feel like you're fixated and fascinated with everything that he has to say you're hanging on to every word and this is where we're going to dive even deeper into this to help you understand how to do this the exact proper way so that you can be prepared that when you go out on these dates and you're practicing these strategies you're hitting him with everything at once and he feels like by golly G I got to see her again that was so amazing and you're thinking in your mind when you leave the date all I did was gather information on you and you don't even know anything about me and I know that for some of you who are new here you're probably wondering to yourself Thomasson please explain to me how this is possible that I can go out on a date not talk not Yap not share damn near anything and he leaves the date liking me more and thinking that I'm interesting when I didn't even share anything about myself he doesn't even know anything about me what what does he find interesting about me and I'm here to let you in on a little bit of a secret it's a little small little secret and I want you to know this secret because it's going to help you with everything and I've said this to those of you who have been here for quite some time before so you know this secret people do not remember what you say they remember what in the chat I want you guys to tell me those of you who been here and are OG's what do people remember from you they don't remember what you say they remember instead what I want you I want to see who's a really good uh really good student who's a really good student in the chat and knows exactly exactly what I'm about to say people never remember what you say to them they remember I see some of you are A+ students in the chat I see you saying it okay people don't remember what you say to them guys they remember how you make them feel okay right because in the process of having conversation with people yeah you can say some things you can talk about some things but as time goes on it becomes harder and harder to remember every single word and detail of the conversation and after a while it all just Smooths over and they only remember the feeling that they had when they were with you and I can assure you you will always make people people feel positive emotions about you and towards you when they when they talk to you and they feel like you're interested in what they have to say right and they feel like you're fascinated by them they feel like you actually care about their perspective and their Viewpoint right and they feel like they're actually being heard and seen because when they feel like that from you right that it'll be the rare case of someone who they actually feel heard and seen by truly because you have to understand for basically all of us we spend majority of Our Lives truly feeling like people aren't really hearing and seeing us so when you can go out on a date with someone and feel like you have 110% of their focus and attention and they're truly genuinely fascinated by you and how you think and who you are for the first time you actually feel seen and heard as a human being that feeling is so impactful it stays with you uh longer than you can ever remember anything that was said or done in that relationship or that date or that date all you can end up remembering is how good it felt to finally be seen and heard by someone and I know you're thinking do guys really even care about that yes guys are human beings too and you can use this psychological tactic on them too because by the time he thinks back to his experience with you on the date he's not going to remember oh gee uh what did she say about her favorite color or her favorite meal gee I don't think she shared that with me that must mean we didn't go out on a date good date no he's only going to remember how good it felt to have someone so fascinated by him fixated on him having all of uh her attention wanting to know more about him asking him questions and the thing about it is it's it's so easy so easy it's I want to cry because this trick the these these hacks are so good they work work so well you'll be shocked it's so easy to implant emotions into people that you want them to feel I know it sounds like manipulation it is guys this is a little secret today is going to be a manipulation episode okay and a psychology episode you can actually implant emotions in people that you want them to feel right but the craziest part about and I know it sounds like manipulation it is manipulation but your strategic manipulation to get what you want and the thing about it is when you get really good at implanting emotions in people that you want them to feel and you understand them better right you get them to to make them feel like these were genuine feelings within themselves not realizing that you strategically implanted that in them okay and it just it has everything to do with psychology and not not to do with you being a bad person it's just how human beings work okay because I I'll give you an example of how you implant emotions into people okay so for example a way to implant emotions into people is to have give them that emotion or that feeling subconsciously knowing that natural to them they're going to want to mirror that feeling so remember when I talked to you guys about love bombing and why love bombing works so well on you this is another psychology trick right because when men meet you and they love bomb you and they know you're really susceptible to that they're giving you a heavy dose of a particular emotion I'm so in love with you I want you so badly I want to marry you I want you to have my children I want us to build a life together I want to put a ring on it yesterday I want you so badly and I want this so badly because when they do that to you it forces you and it puts you in a position where you you kind of don't aren't in control of this response but you naturally feel like you need to mirror that same emotion so because they're able to fake that emotion right and make you feel that emotion subconsciously you now feel it's necessary to mirror that emotion back to him even if you don't genuinely feel that so I say that to say that's an example of how people can actually implant emotions in each other to make someone feel something that they might not genuinely be feeling to use it to their advantage okay do you understand what I'm saying so it's very important that you understand first of all that this has been happening to you so if you thinking that you Above This and like oh I'm not going to do this cuz this is something that only bad people do this does happen right this does happen all the time uh uh in all a lot of relationships and you can utilize these same psychology tricks to get what you want and in this case what you want is information so this works really well for you information on top of the fact you also want him to really want you more and want this relationship more so you it works for you uh twice as good oh I'm thirsty today does that make sense to you guys so far right now I know these are these are pretty deep and these are very psych psychology based so I want to make sure you guys are all following along and I want to make sure if you guys have any questions as I talk about each topic that you're understanding what I'm referring to and why this works so well you understand what I'm saying uh the uh a AR a a AA sorry the AA says why can't they just be genuine well here's the thing like I always tell all you beautiful people in a perfect Utopia World everyone would just be super honest with you about how they feel what they want what their intentions are they tell you exactly what's on their mind they tell you exactly what they're thinking like that that's yeah in a perfect world that's exactly what people would do for each other okay that way nobody would have to guess anything nobody would have to uh imply anything or infer anything the reality of it is though we don't live in that world okay and we've never lived in a world like that that's just not how human beings are okay so you can either spend all your time being sad about the fact that people won't just come out and tell you exactly how they feel and exactly what they want or you can figure out how to strategically extract that from people so that you can be happy regardless you understand even if you were to watch a movie of two characters two main characters in a movie and the entire movie right when they were in their relationship they were telling each other exactly what they wanted exactly how they wanted it and they were able to express Express all the emotions exactly when they felt them in detail and be super honest with each other if you watched a movie like that of two main characters that did that exactly what you're asking for other people to do you'd be watching that movie going this is super unrealistic Nobody Does that nobody just goes on a first date and tells each other exactly how they feel exactly what they want that just that's just not how people work that's not how people act operate right and so that's the world that we live in people don't just come out and say things like that right people are going to withhold information because it benefits them or they're going to share or exaggerate information because it benefits them if they're on a date with you they're definitely not going to tell you all the reasons you shouldn't want to date them because of how messy or disgusting they are uh because they want a partner right if they want a partner they're not likely to share all the things to you that would make them an undesirable partner and Al even says I'm straightforward you can be of the belief that you're straightforward but even you when you go out on a first date you're not going to jump out the window to tell someone all the ways they might not like you or they would think of you as undesirable why would you not jump out the window on your first date and tell someone that because you want them to desire you it doesn't make you a bad person I just want you to understand that extracting information is a skill set and once you rid yourself of this idea that people that the person you're going to come across and meet one day is going to be so brutally honest with you and straight forward with you that you'll never have to guess anything that they're thinking or you'll never have to work to extract information when you rid yourself of that mindset then you can finally start getting somewhere the longer you go about your life and maybe I could be wrong maybe I don't know what I'm saying but the I think the longer you go about your life looking for someone who will just tell you exactly how they feel exactly what they want not hide anything and be so straightforward with you that you'll never have to guess what they're thinking or feeling you're in a dream world and you're constantly going to be frustrated because you're always going to be looking for that not realizing that you're never going to find that in any human being that's just not how human beings are you anyone can say I'm super straightforward and I'm super upfront about my feelings and emotions but even you the straightforward person keep some things hidden and suppressed within you because directly or indirectly it either doesn't or sorry it doesn't serve you to share absolutely everything all the time let's just be so for real nobody goes on a date with the intention of telling the person they're on a date with all the ways that they shouldn't want to date them that doesn't make logical sense why would anyone do that okay when you go out on a date you're obviously going to try to be putting your best foot forward and try to be as desirable to the other person as possible which means you're going to avoid sharing information that would make you undesirable and you're going to try your best at least to share information or do things that make you more desirable that's what everyone is going to do naturally okay so you have to work with that logic and understand that logic so you can extract information from people regardless of the fact of whether or not they feel like they should be sharing that to you or not so you basically right with this fixation and Fascination you trick them into thinking that it's a positive thing to share as much as they possibly can with you and to be as ugly with the truth and the openness and the honesty as they can because for you that's more attractive he's a little trick okay I teach you all the little tricks so you get what you want okay okay so number one fixation and Fascination now number two is a concept in which I call put on his glasses I wish I had a player glasses all right I want you to pick up and put on his glasses now specifically what I mean by pick up and put on his glasses is one of the most powerful things you can do for someone when you are trying to get them to share more with you is not to cuz this is what's going to be natural to you when you go out on a date when a guy tells you uh Hey so by the way yeah um I know you're asking about me and my ex in my last relationship I just want to let you know that in my last relationship I cheated on her like you know three or four times and you know it was it was pretty toxic we went we went back and forth a whole bunch and we fought a whole bunch and you know things just didn't work out and eventually I just kind of left her um and I wanted to be on my own I just I I I just never texted her back and I left it when a guy tells you a story like that you're going to be saying that's horrible how could you do that to someone that poor girl oh my God you're a like you might you're thinking that and you're going to want to say that and your body language is going to be saying that and you're going to be like oh that's a red flag oh I don't like sound of that oh that's not good right and you're going to be thinking oh I don't like what you're saying and because I don't agree with or I don't like what you're saying my first response is to tell you how much I don't like what you're saying that is a mistake and I want and I want to change your mindset so you can approach this the right way because you can get two things you can get what you want in terms of getting information but you can also get him to be more interested in you because of this and this is why it's so powerful because when you put on his glasses it's about understanding that telling someone I don't like the way you live your life or I'm not in agreeance in the things that you do actually doesn't benefit you because if you know you don't agree with the way someone lives their life or the way that they they're doing things then that's information you just Bank in your mind and you you ask yourself later on am I willing to continue seeing you or dealing with you based on how you go about your relationships if the answer is no you don't need to share with him on that date that I don't like what you're saying or I don't agree with what you're saying you understand what I'm saying you you you take that time on that date to allow him to feel like oh I want to see your perspective this is why I call it putting on his glasses you put on his glasses so you can make him feel like we're sharing the same perspective I want to see the world how you see the world I want to understand you better so rather than judging you for what you've done or how you've lived your life explain to me the thought process of why you did it help me see your perspective in life help me see the things you've been through and the way your family affected you the way your friendships have affected you the way your past has affected you that have brought you to the person you are now to explain to me how you became this explain to me how you chose those decisions and why you felt that was the right decision to make at that time and you know what that does to him when you start to put on his glasses he he starts to feel understood by you and even that much more comfortable talking to you about things that are close to his heart and things that he actually genuinely feels and he actually has genuinely thought that he felt it would probably be not good to be sharing that with someone he's on a date with because remember what I said earlier when I talked about everything you're doing here is to kind of flip things on its head and make him feel like the best way to uh appease you or make you happy is to continue sharing and continue being open and you're trying to plant a seed of an emotion inside him that you should get excited to share you should get excited to be open I am fascinated with you I am enamored with you you're not saying it but you're making him feel that and as he talks more and he yaps more he feels more excited to share more and he feels more like you're even more interested in this uh conversation in this relationship and so because he feels like you're so interested he talks even more and I this is why I say this is so powerful because you'll be shocked the amount of happiness that a man will begin sharing with you things that you're thinking to yourself you're literally telling me all the ways I would not want to date you and all the things about you that I would only realize over time and you'll be almost like giggling in your mind because you're like oh my God he doesn't realize he's telling me all of his Secrets he doesn't he doesn't even he can't see he's he's so he's spiraling so much into la la la la land where he feels so good about being able to Yap to me he doesn't even realize he's actually telling me all of his issues and problems that I should be looking out for in the future oh my God and and the thing about it is you'll be sitting there he's yapping and you're having your own internal monologue like wow I can't believe I'm getting him to tell me literally everything everything every thing about him okay and this is why it's it's powerful actually I said in two ways it's actually powerful in three ways one because you're gathering information which helps you because you get to make the decision on whether or not he's who you're looking for two because he begins to feel more interested in you because of how you make him feel that you're so fascinated with him but three also the fact that he's sharing uh with you all of that uh information also allows you to know whether or not well like I said whether or not he's the person that you're looking for and whether or not he's the person that you want to be in a relationship with but also if you like I'm trying to think of how to say this uh also if you I'll just leave it at those two I I want to I want to figure out how to say it the right way uh but I'll leave it at those two okay right so it first helps you in terms of how to understand whether or had like a brain fart whe whether to understand how whether or not he is the person that you want and also it allows you to have a lot more information about him and the uh the relationship um and he will become more fascinated with you because he gets to share with you okay right uh Juliana says let them Yap so you can figure out what kind of person they are so you can decide whether to leave or stay 100% you are so much better off getting guys to Yap putting on his glasses so that he can continue yapping to you and when when he continue uh Yap continue yapping when he continues to Yap to you you get more and more information I never want you guys to feel like oh but when is it my turn to share or oh but this is all about him or oh like like when do I get to make the relationship about me is the relationship always going to be about him no the relationship's not always going to be about him it will be about you but it will be about you like I always say when it's the right time with the right person you don't need to make it about you with someone that you don't aren't even going to end up in a relationship with right you also don't need to be spilling your guts to someone that's going to take that information and utilize it to get access to you and then disappear on you okay so you want to be gathering information so you can make some educated decisions about whether or not this is someone that you want in your life does that make sense right uh shelsea said how do how to react and make him comfortable to Yap I didn't catch that if you missed any of the points that I discussed they're all available on my YouTube because I'm Live on YouTube at the exact same time okay right uh uh Jess says so do we deflect back to them when they ask deep questions about us yes this is part of uh the other thing that I want to discuss with you guys as well and I'm glad you asked that Jess when guys obviously if a guy's interested in you as well he's going to ask you questions what about you he's going to ask you things about yourself as well part of this fixation and Fascination and putting on his glass and all the good stuff we're going to talk about today as well I want you to start in your uh relationships and on these dates I want you to get very strategic and good at anticipating the fact that guys are also going to ask you what about you right if you ask him a really deep good question there's a good chance he's going to say well what about you so I want you to already have an answer prepared in your mind that can give him answers and make him feel like you're ready to share but as soon as you give him the answer I don't even want you to give him an opportunity to ask you follow-up questions I want you to always try to answer questions uh as quickly and efficiently as you can and then immediately redirect the conversation back to him I know that this sounds really hard and really difficult but I promise you as you get better at this it'll become like like a rhythm to you okay you when you're asking questions you're actually steering the conversation people don't realize you're steering the conversation because they're talking so much they think they're steering the conversation you're actually steering it from the sidelines and the moment someone ask you a question back they don't realize that you're already anticipating they're going to ask you that similar question back because that's the topic of the conversation you already should have an answer prepared for the types of things you're going to be asking him and your answer should always be prepared in the shortest format that you can possibly give an answer so that he doesn't feel like you're not willing to share but you also in the process of asking that question this is the really strategic thing that I'll give you I want you to make it seem like as soon as you answer a question right of of his that he asked you in your mind as you're answering the question in your mind Pops in another question that you're reminded of by answering this question that you want to know about him sh don't tell anyone I told you okay that's a little secret I'm glad just asked that because that's a little secret that I wanted to share with you guys okay when someone asks you a question the best way to redirect is to make them feel like oh as I'm answering this question I just thought of this thing that I also wanted to know about you because I was answering that question and people are less likely to say hey but you didn't answer my question they're just going to think oh my God this thing popped in my mind and then you just float right into it and ask the question and then now he's yapping again answering about himself and I know you're thinking but Thompson he's going to know that I didn't answer his question I promise you when you're in the flow of conversation like this on a date people can't realize oh but the question I asked you you never answered it and especially when you're steering the conversation so well you never give them an opportunity to to sit and think to themselves but you didn't answer my question you just keep giving them the next question and you just keep giving them the follow-up question and you just keep saying but this and but that and explain to me this and explain to me that and the best part is when you're doing a really good job of getting him Enchanted and making him feel like you're fascinated with what he's saying as he's a as he's answering those questions those questions are going to be like long-winded answers so you're going to have like three four five minutes in between these answers to just kind of think to yourself okay what's the next thing that I want to ask what's the next thing that I want to ask when you get into this cycle it'll become very easy asking him a question as he's answering that question you're already thinking of the follow-up question and then in the process of him of him answering that question you're like immediately jumping into the follow-up as he's answering the followup you're immediately thinking about the next question he you as soon as he finished the followup you're thinking about the next question how you're going to jump into that right I know it sounds super manipulative it is manipulative but this is how you get people enamored with with you where you're just asking so many questions you're Gathering so much information he's sharing so much he feels like damn this is such an interesting conversation this is like I can't believe how much we're flowing here we're connecting so well and and oh that was the that was the third thing that I was actually going to say uh in terms of why this the third reason why this is so good for you is because in the process of guys talking to you about themselves and yapping about all the ways that you may or may not want to be in a Rel reltionship with them it actually benefits you so much because as they're telling you all the different ways in which they mistreated their ex or which they're not the guy you're looking for maybe you might not like them because of this or this experience or this thought process or whatever they're actually removing the a pedestal that you might put them on because you're meeting someone new cuz the thing about it is when you're meeting a guy and he's new to you and you've never met him before and you're excited about this relationship you're naturally going to want to think oh you're like Mr are perfect you're like the new Prince Charming and you're here to sweep me off my feet and so what's going to happen is in the beginning of your relationship with him you're going to be operating under the understanding that hey because you're new and I don't have any bad examples or experiences with you I am of the belief that you're perfect and you're amazing so I'm going to treat you as if you're perfect and amazing it's also going to be really difficult for me to ever go without you or feel like you're not interested in me because I'm of the belief that you're perfect and amazing very quick on the very first date you put yourself in a position where he's not so perfect and amazing to you I know that sounds horrible but I actually want to let you in that that helps you because when you realize early on that he's not perfect and amazing you can actually take a deep breath and relax and say to yourself oh you're just like any other guy you're a regular guy you make mistakes you're imperfect okay you have feelings right you say the wrong thing sometimes you do the wrong thing sometimes you might be disrespectful to some people sometimes you take advantage of people sometimes but it's good for you to realize that early so that way you're not in super anxiety mode the uh the moment you feel like he's pulling away from you because then you feel like oh I'm losing out on a guy that I'll never meet again I know it sounds horrible but it actually does benefit you because then you can be in a position of relaxation where you're not super anxious thinking you're never going to meet a guy like this ever again right Gigi said I've had guys super closed off to questions I'm going to let you in on a secret and I know some of you might not want to hear this secret is that anyone can you can open up anyone okay no matter who it is no matter how shy they are no matter how closed off they are no matter how cold they are I can assure you it is possible to get any one talking you want to know how I know that not because I'm the smartest person ever but literally I'll give you an example of why it's possible to get anyone talking when a police officer is trying to solve um an unal living okay and someone in the neighborhood has been unived and there's a very key uh top suspect to this unal living he's going to ask the person who he suspects might have done the unal living into the police station to question that person now the person who did the unal living might know that I did the unal living so when he goes into the police station he knows in his mind this police officer is on to something because I did the unal living and clearly he's come up with some clues that make me a suspicious top suspect to this unal living so when that suspect goes into the police station he knows that the police officer knows that there's information that he's trying to extract from him in order to come to the conclusion is he the person that did the unal living so the suspect is already aware of the fact that when I sit down at that that police station that police officer is trying to extract information from me right and if I did the unal living then I know I shouldn't be talking to that police officer however even though that's the case you would think a natural human being would always be closed off and the police officer would never get any answers but there's actually a psychological strategy to getting someone to open up even when they don't want to open up to you right and so even the police officer has the suspects sit down at the police station and instead of just coming out and asking the question hey did you un alive that guy on 42nd Street at exactly 3:15 p.m. on uh on a Tuesday afternoon right why doesn't the police officer just come out and ask that if that's the ultimate question that he's trying to get the answer to why does the police officer sit down with the suspect and start asking him so how was your day tell me about your relationship with your brother tell me about what you've been going through at work has work been frustrating for you so your cousin are you aware that your cousin has been un alive last week can you tell me what's your relationship been like with your cousin have you guys had any arguments what's your family life been what's your history been in your past friendships oh so you're telling me that your cousin actually dated your ex-girlfriend for a bit oh that's interesting how long did they date for oh and you're actually telling me that uh one day you found out that they were dating again and she left your ex-girlfriend left you for your cousin oh so how did that make you feel oh so you actually went to your cousin's house on Tuesday and what happened did you have a conversation about your ex-girlfriend oh your ex-girlfriend was actually at your cousin's place let me know like what what did that conversation go about oh you were really angry oh you were really upset you were really upset and what happened explain to me what happened when you were really upset oh you pulled out a what oh we got him ladies and gentlemen we got him right and you it's it's funny because in your mind you're thinking well no people that don't want to answer are closed off they're not going to answer any of my questions but I want you to understand there is always a strategy to get people to open up now yes you're going to have to warm some people up yes you're going to have to be strategic yes it is a process but I can assure you if a police officer can do it with a suspect uh that knows he did the unal living and he can get the suspect to admit to the unal living or to give him specific clues that make it very clear that he did the unal living then I can assure you I can assure you if a police officer can do that then you can get a man who you're on a date with to be open with you and share with you okay I give you that example to make it less scary to you because if someone can do that in that level of extremeness then you can do it on a lesser level with someone who's already on a on a date with you okay uh star night says a police officer has had specialized training what do you think you're in the Players Club for you're in the Players Club for special specialized training I'm sharing with you these techniques and these elements so you can have the specialized training and the specialized understanding of how men think and how people react and respond to things so you can take this knowledge out on your dates with you and figure out how to extract information from people without them even realizing that you're extracting information from you that's literally why I'm here today that's why we're having this show you're getting the specialized training okay does that make sense so number one is the fixation and Fascination number two you put on his glasses now number three okay this stop pooping time everybody in the chat you stop pooping now if you haven't been paying attention up until this point I want you paying attention now take your hand out of your pants you're listening to me you're looking me in my eyes cuz this is very important now number three I want you to talk with your body okay talk with your body because this is this is okay hyper hyper hyper important I need to undo some of the things other people have been trying to teach you okay the best thing for you to do as a woman is not to open your mouth and speak more okay you can make men feel very strong emotions about you and towards you by saying nothing okay your body language is so so so powerful way more powerful than anything you can say so what I specifically mean by that a lot of people are going to tell you that when you go out on dates with guys complement his T-shirt or complement his hairstyle even if his hair looks Rowdy and ruggedy um even if he's got a whole bunch of mismatched colors on and he can't dress for anything compliment something on it compliment his smile or something that'll make him feel good rid yourself of all of that BS that's that's super generic useless stuff you can't really use that where we're going okay we're going deep and we're getting you what you want okay that stuff is stupid it's not really going to help you okay what's actually going to help you is figuring out how to talk and communicate with your body language to make someone feel or elicit an emotion in them through your body language okay so people are going to tell you to compliment men because that's what's going to make them feel good about themselves and all this other BS useless get rid of that what I want you to do is compl ment Men by making them feel like you're interested in them with your body language that is way way way way way more flattering than anything you could say about his nice shirt or his nice smile okay I want you to understand how powerful this is right because anyone can say yeah you have a really nice smile or yeah you have really nice muscles that's great it's but it's not as emotionally impactful as using your body language to make someone feel feel like I am invested in what you have to say I want to know more about you and as you're speaking to me I'm paying attention to you I'm looking at you I'm focused on you you have my attention okay right it's a very different emotion that gets put into you when you can actually see someone and start to feel like oh you're paying attention to me you're listening to me right you're focused on me have you I want to uh someone said give me an example I want to give you guys an example by actually showing you how it feels to not be that so let's say just let's say for example me and you are on a date and when me and you are on a date let's say I'm asking you we're talking about our last relationship and as we're talking you're talking about your last relationship with your ex let's say this is my reaction while you're talking about your last relationship oh my God how how is that going to make you feel is that going to make you feel like I'm paying attention to what you have to say or I care about what you have to say or is that going to make you feel like I'd rather be anywhere else but here let me know in the chat are you going to feel yes like I'm paying attention or no I'm going to feel like you're not paying attention if I'm if I'm like that on a date with you notice I didn't say anything I didn't say words I didn't I didn't I didn't uh say anything about you that I don't like you or I don't want to be here I didn't say a single word but let me know how that makes you feel what emotion does that elicit in you do you feel like I'm paying attention to you yes and I care about what you're saying or do you feel like I don't care about what you're saying okay I see someone Shelia says frustrated uh that you're not paying attention um right that you're bored you're disinterested or you're annoyed right uh time to go disregarded right you don't want to hear it type of thing right uh Miriam says no in in the YouTube chat right so the reason I say that is because let's now contrast that with let's say you're telling me the same thing about your relationship and your ex and imagine I'm like this what oh my what oh yeah oh wow no once again I didn't say words okay right but you see how my body language can elicit a feeling in you right okay does that make sense so I'm saying that to say contrast that in those two situations with how you just I just that's why I say this is so powerful and this is like psychology because if I take an emotion that I want you to feel and I strategically plant it inside you by knowing how I can deliver that emotion to you through the things that I do that are subconscious to you you feel because they're subconscious to you like those were your genuine emotions so even though I'm aware of how it makes you feel that you're going to receive my body language and how different types of body language will make you feel because it's subconscious to you as you're feeling it you're feeling like this is like genuine to just how you feel in the moment so I say that to say me acting as if I'm super interested and invested in everything that you're saying is making you feel like oh you really care about this you really want to hear what I have to say I should keep talking right you really appreciate me you're really focused on me you're paying attention to me all that good stuff right giving you that positive feedback and as I'm giving you that positive feedback you feel better about this and this situation and me and you start to feel a whole bunch of positive emotions that are like a confirmation to you that you're enjoying this meanwhile I haven't actually said anything right so it becomes this is why I say throw away everything that people tell you about giving people compliments like oh you got a nice shirt you see giving people subconscious compliments especially when you're on a date with them that oh I'm focused on you you have my full 100% attention that is way way way more powerful than saying I like your T-shirt okay cuz once again people this is where it all comes into play people don't remember what you say they remember how you make them feel and we've just acknowledged in the example that I gave that you can make someone feel something without saying a word so when you be become better at this you go out on your dates very self-aware of your body language and very self-aware of how you're presenting yourself especially while he's sharing with you because you're always thinking to yourself I want you to share more cuz you sharing more is going to give me more information it's also going to make you like me more so I definitely want to keep the positive feedback loop going that as you're sharing you feel my focus right you feel complimented by me because of how much focus and investment I have in you and this conversation right y know says that uh radiate that you you're open and that you have really good energy 100% right and you'll be I TR trust me I know that some of this sounds silly and you're like nobody's going to care about that I I seen some people earlier talking about oh uh you know uh guys aren't going to be able to pay attention to those cues what I want you to understand is this is going deeper into psychology than it is anything else so what I mean by that is these cues and these strategies that I'm discussing with you are so subconscious and deep rooted inside our spirit and our soul that men even if they're emotionally stunted they might not be able to explain to you why they're feeling that way or what you did that made them feel that way they're just going to know what you made them feel was good and it was a lot better than anything else they've ever felt with someone else they might not know why it's going to be a secret to you and me because we know why they feel so good about you but they just know in their mind I'm getting so many positive feelings about you okay A lot of times when people really like you and if you're really good at this people won't know why they like you you know why people like you but they just they'll say they'll say things like this and this is where you just have to just be quiet and just let them be like an awe of you they'll say things like this I can't put my finger on it but there's just something about you you're just so magnetic I just can't get enough of you and you won't just hear uh romantic Partners say that about you you'll hear friends say that about you you'll hear people in general say that about you when you become really good at this they'll be in their mind literally just fascinated about why you're so magnetic and they're so drawn to you meanwhile you're thinking I know exactly why you're drawn to me and it's actually very purposeful and strategic why you're drawn to me but I'm not going to tell you because it ruins the magic trick if I tell you what I did okay and this is where I want you to just absorb the magic trick I'm like teaching you how to be a magician absorb the magic trick and then as you absorb the magic trick people are going to be like oh my God I don't know what it is about you and you just say I don't know either guys I don't know I don't know I don't know maybe one day we'll figure it out I don't know either but you do know and you are smart and you are strategic which makes it even that much more powerful people feel drawn to you and they don't know why you know why they don't know why though and it's fine they don't have to know why it's your secret me and you sh don't tell anyone okay right uh very powerful does that make sense uh uh someone says say it again please I just got here it's all available if you miss any of the points I'm not going to repeat them because I don't want to be repeating this multiple times it's all available on my YouTube page because I'm Live on YouTube at the same time just go to my YouTube page it's my name right on top that's why I'm pointing up on the top right and then when you go on my YouTube page you can just literally rewind the live even as it's live you can rewind it and rewatch The Points of until the ones that you missed okay uh so uh number one was to uh the fixation uh and Fascination number two you put on his glasses number three you talk with your body number four I want you to become a su successful seductive therapist okay this is the type of energy I want you embodying a seductive therapist okay so yes you're going to be a good listener okay but I want you to to throw some seductiveness in the way that you listen Okay and the way that you absorb information okay so you're not just going to be a plain therapist you're going to be a sexy therapist okay right a really really seductive one okay so uh what I mean by a seductive therapist right uh it's not just about asking questions in a way where you're like you know I don't want you coming out on the date and being like oh well okay so Thomson uh he mentioned these 10 questions that I should ask on the state so um I'm just going to ask you exactly 10.3 questions and I want you to answer each and every question in exactly 3 minutes or less and uh as you're answering this question I want you to repeat the question back to me I want you to put it in essay format and I want you to tell me your reasonings as to why you think this was the best and most logical answer okay I don't want you going on your dates like a robot okay very important I know that some of you are like that's ridiculous Thomson I would never do that but here's the thing I also know that when I give you information about what to do on a date I don't want you going into the date so stiff cuz you're like uh uh Thomson said I should ask this and Thomson said I should ask that so like when you're looking at him you're you're like thinking to yourself oh what was the what was the next step was I supposed to ask about the ex now or was I supposed to I don't want you doing that okay cuz he's going to be like what's going on with you this is weird this doesn't feel like a conversation to me okay right you're going to seduce him not by talking more by the body language and everything we talked about and your energy right but you're going to give off seductive energy just by simply being good at asking questions your body language and the way you go about things okay right even in the way okay the best way for me to describe a seductive therapist I want you to imagine this scenario okay tell me if you can spot the difference between these two things okay so uh let's say I'm asking you a question and I'm like let's say this is my glass of wine while we're on a date I don't drink but let's just imagine this is my glass of wine so as I'm asking you the question I'm just like oh so uh tell me about you and your ex yeah I just sorry I actually didn't even mean to do that but yeah tell me about you and your ex now I want you to imagine okay now that was scenario number one I want you to imagine scenario number two so can you tell me about you and your ex like what have you two been through I would love to know more about you and just where you've been you you're such a fascinating type of guy I would I would love to know as much as I possibly can about the type of person you are does that feel different does that feel different to you or does it not okay obviously I'm not a girl so I'm not going to do it amazing but does it feel different to you in your soul when I ask you the same question that way or when I ask you in a way that I just look stiff and I look like uh yeah this was the question I was supposed to ask right um I give you that example so that you can better understand what it means to be a seductive therapist right it's not just about asking the question in general but it's also about strategically trying to elicit a feeling as you ask the questions right or as you try to extract the uh the information okay so I say that to say you don't want to go out on your dates and make him feel like you're in a rush okay the worst thing you can do is go out on the date and make him feel like you're in a rush to get all this information and you got to feel the two hours with all the questions that you wrote down in your script and you're like a robot okay you want to be seducing him right and be seductive as you ask the questions take your time you can be in your mind thinking about the next question you're going to ask and how you're going to set this up and how you're going to set that up but when you're asking these questions when when you come out and actually say them right or when you speak I want it to be slow like you're taking your time like you're not in a rush like you don't have anywhere to be and then as he's answering the questions I want you to actually give him the positive feedback like we talked about like you're actually paying attention to what he has to say okay because when you're not in a rush right remember what I said about planting specific emotions inside of people because it benefits you when you're not in a rush and he starts to feel like you're relaxed and you're chill and um you know you're not you know uptight or nervous or anything like that what's going to make him it's going to make him feel like oh I'm relaxed too this is a relaxing scene we're here enjoying our date you know I feel good you look good you you have great energy this is when this is when see when you start getting really good about this this is when you'll hear people say all the time I love your energy and you'll be thinking to yourself I'm not even doing well I'm doing something strategic but I'm not actually saying anything and you're talking about I love your energy so much right you know that it comes from the way you subconsciously plant emotions inside of people if I want you to be calm and relaxed right while you tell me everything about your life and who you are I'm going to do things right to make you elicit to elicit that emotion from you subconsciously right so I want to give you subconscious clue cues to make you feel like you should be relaxed I'm not going to tell you to relax more and chill out I'm going to do things that are strategically going to make you feel more relaxed okay uh Tores says so seductive yet still bubbly absolutely absolutely and this is where now I know for some of you you guys like please THS but just tell exactly how should I do it exactly how is it POS should I say this should I say that what's the exact stance I should take should I cross my legs or should I open them should I sit to the left side or sit to the right and this is where I want you to just if there's a certain point where after I give you the technique you're actually going to have to go out and do it so that you can actually experience how to balance it okay unfortunately there's only so much I can teach you until you actually need the real world experience of doing it and and the process of doing it you'll start to feel when you're in the pocket we call it okay right because it's not something I can just explain to you word for word and then when you go out and do it you'll know that you're doing it because I explained it to you word for word you're going to have to practice it and practice having the balance of being bubbly while being seductive and as you get better at this you'll know when you're in the pocket and the way you'll know you're in the pocket is because the exact type of response you'll be getting from a guy he'll just be talking and yapping and yapping and you'll start to notice even as he's talking to you his eyes don't don't don't change go go from you right he's looking at you he's paying attention to you right and as you're steering the conversation he's just going wherever you steer the conversation okay that's when you know that you have a man in a trance okay I know this sounds really like dark here and really crazy but that's that's how you know you have a guy in a trance where you're literally steering the conversation wherever you want the conversation to go and as you're steering the conversation he's lit it's like you're uh it's like you're Wonder Woman you know how Wonder Woman has the lasso of Truth when she puts the lasso of Truth around you you just immediately start spewing your guts just just just yapping everything that you feel no matter how deep and no matter how dark when you when you're in the pocket here and you're doing this the right way you'll have that same effect on the guys and when you notice it you'll be like oh God I'm here you're literally you you don't even realize you're not even like your your subconscious is so deep into whatever you're feeling right now you don't even realize you're on a date telling me everything and you're spilling everything and you don't even realize that I'm not even talking right you don't realize that and trust me I'm seeing that as someone not just talking out of my butt but as someone who's actually practiced this and utilize this okay you'll be shocked and I was shocked too when I utilize this so well people will go on 20 30 minute tangents just sharing and just yapping and even the people that wanted to know more about me they'll be like I I I I don't feel like I know anything about you I've been in you know three four month relationships with people and three months down the line they'll be like I don't feel like I know that much about you I feel like I talk all the time and even when they acknowledge that they can't pull themselves out of it because I'm so good at sucking them back into the trance of just yapping and just talking and just share it because it's so hard to get to get out of it when you're in it cuz when you do it the right way and you make yourself look so fascinated and interested and fixated on them it's so hard to not continue yapping it's so hard to just not keep sharing right uh um the uh aah says uh Mesmerize them on the first attempt it's very possible it's very possible to do that and when you can do that it's I'm telling you for for for guys especially who are more emotionally stunted absolutely impossible for them to ever think to themselves damn I actually I didn't even I I was talking the whole time let's talk about you some more it's so hard because they're not aware of how you're emotionally steering this conversation to exactly where you want it to be right sh shabia says uh but we H uh we want to Yap as well and have emotional connection to someone yes I and this is what I always tell you guys I know you want to have emotional connection with someone as well I know you want to Yap as well your chance to Yap will come one with your girlfriends that's who you should be trauma dumping on and then two your chance to Yap is with a guy who is actually uh invested in you and consistent with you that has shown you that you can trust him with that information that you are going to share with him about you okay that is the person who you Yap to and you trauma dump on okay the guy that actually is committed to you not random men that you you go out on a first date with okay I know you want to have a connection but this is why I say it actually benefits you because you stop yourself from becoming overly invested in someone who's not even here for the right reasons you actually put him in a position where he's so much more emotionally connected to you then you are in him and now because you're less emotionally connected to him I know this sounds horrible you're actually able to deal with him from a more rational standpoint okay rather than dealing with him from an emotional standpoint where all you can think about is uh you know how much you want to be with him and how much you want to make this work rather you're able to absorb him for who he really is and you're able to analyze his behavior for what it actually is because you're not so deeply emotionally invested in a guy who isn't emotionally invested in you and this is what I want to help you understand in your relationships for most of you you've actually been in the opposite scenario where because you trauma dump because you Yap and maybe even some of these guys were really good at asking you questions where you just told him everything about you you were so much more emotionally connected to him than he was to you and then by the time he pulled away from you or he pulled back from you you felt like you really wanted to make this work because you felt like you had such a deep connection with a guy that didn't even feel like he had a deep connection with you and it's part of the reason why you are in relationships or situations where you feel like this guy's a psychopath how can you spend this much time with me but not actually care about me that's part of the reason why because you sp spent all the time connecting with him but he wasn't really connecting with you cuz you were yapping you were trauma dumping all he was saying is damn that's crazy oh my god wow that's so that's so amaz or that's so wild or whatever it may be right and some guys are really good I'm going to be honest with you some guys are really good at being good listeners where you forget that you're the only one doing the yapping but you just feel so good about being able to do the yapping that you don't even care to acknowledge it right does that make sense right so I want you guys to understand that so number one was the fixation and Fascination number two you put on his glasses uh number three you talk with your body uh number four you're a seductive therapist and number five now this is kind of like the bonus one that I want to give to you for those of you cuz I know a lot of you are going to be uh out on you know dinner dates and things like that for a first date right that's the typical thing now number five really really neat trick that you can attempt to do when you go out on a date I want you to what's called isolate his attention Okay so uh this is a really cool trick to do uh because it's like it's psychology based uh but a lot of it's so subtle a lot of people won't realize what you're doing but it helps you in the long run have you ever noticed uh going out with someone uh if you're speaking speaking to them or maybe even if you're like talking to someone and in the background there's a lot going on you know behind you or on the dinner date there's a lot going on you got the waitresses you got people yelling and screaming you got babies crying you got food coming in and out and things like that and have you ever been on a date with someone and while you're speaking to them uh they're kind of like scanning the scene around them there's so much more stimulus going on you got the server walking this person's yelling this person's chatting you got this couple over here this couple over there you got food over here food over there and there's so much stimulus going on behind you even though they're on a date with you they're like as they're talking to you they're scanning all the different stimulus going on and they're like looking around you they're looking here they're looking there they're looking here they're they're trying to pay attention to you but all this different stimulus behind you is catching their eye so this is a really interesting neat strategic trick I want to teach you don't tell anyone about this just me and you okay really neat trick when you go out on your dinner days cuz that's what most of you are going to end up doing I want you to actually make sure you try to get the seat where there is the least going on behind you so if you can get a seat in the restaurant where you're next to a wall right so your back is facing the wall meanwhile you're facing all the stimulus that's really good that's really good why because everything that we talked about today it will kind of Aid in that right in the in the effect that that gives when literally all he has to pay attention to is you so you can only imagine when the only stimulus is you because he's the behind you is a wall now when you're sitting there and you're paying so much close attention to him you have direct eye contact with him you look like you're really fascinated with him and and Enchanted by him and you're you're really interested in what he has to say right as you're doing that while there's nothing else going on behind you now he becomes even more locked in to just you and he's even more stimulated by you because you're the only stimulus going on here right uh Brook says men don't want to face uh the wall though I know that this is why I said it's a sneaky trick where if you use an excuse that you want to be on the wall or you want to be on the booth or whatever it may be sneaky you can bring the excuse knowing that it'll help him just focus on you okay and you'll be able to see the thing about it is too when he's only able to focus on you he'll be able to get deeper into his own emotions because he doesn't have all this other stimulus going around right he can actually kind of think to himself it's a little bit of quiet in a public area where he can think to himself what do I want what do I think how do I feel while you're paying while he's seeing you pay attention to him and this is the very important key okay when you isolate his attention you need to be making him feel like he has 100% of your attention so you can't have your back to the wall and he only can focus and see you and then as he can only focus and see you he sees you scanning the room okay you don't want that you want as he is focused on you him you to also look like you're hyperfocused on him so he this is how he gets into a trance cuz now he forgets that he's even in a restaurant he just feels like it's you and him there by yourselves and it can become really really really powerful okay especially when you combine this with all the other stuff that we discussed earlier where you're uh uh doing the fixation on Fascination you put on his glasses you talk with your body and you're seductive therapist if you can couple that with the really this like the bonus trick that you can have little as little as you possibly can okay not all of you are going to be able to get the wall behind you but as little stimulation going on as POS as you possibly can don't sit in a place where you behind you is 10 million things going on and it's you there and you're competing with 10 million things for his attention try to be strategic and sit somewhere where there's little uh to nothing going on behind you that when you're fixated on him all he has to stimulate himself with is you cuz then he walks away uh uh from the date with you thinking about how good it was to spend that time with you and how his attention was so focused on you remember people don't remember what they you say to them they only remember how you make them feel so when they think back to you and their experience with you and they're thinking about how locked in they were with you and how they felt like damn it was me and her in this entire room but I literally felt like it was just us two but there was a thousand people in that room right that is such a powerful emotion to leave someone with thinking and feeling about you that they say to themselves wow she must she must have something that I really like or I really want for me to literally be on a date with her and feel like the world stopped you ever hear people say stuff like that when I'm with you I feel like the world has just stopped and I and nothing else is going on but me and you it's great right and you can actually elicit that emotion out of people right by being strategic about that right right uh uh eita says uh ladies to avoid you being distracted pick a place you've been before actually that's pretty good advice okay uh if you are concerned with having too much stimulus going on that you're looking around and that you won't properly be able to do this technique that we discussed today as well yes I would agree with that go somewhere where you've been before so that you're not super you know just going around your eyes are wandering and this and that and he doesn't feel like you're fixated on this conversation because you don't want that either you don't want him feeling like you're not actually locked in and focused in on this conversation and you're more worried about everything going on behind him the same way it doesn't feel good to you if you're speaking is the same way it won't feel good to him if he's speaking and remember you want to get a whole whole bunch of information from him and all of this that we discussed today is going to help the guys want you more number one it's also going to help you get more way way way more information on him so that you can be making the most important decision of your life which is am I going to be investing my time and energy into you or not right does that make sense Gigi saids should we be concerned if they don't ask questions back I'll be honest with you I'm going to say no I'm G to say no simply because the reality of it is them asking you questions doesn't help you know more about them I and and and I want you to understand this of course guys who are interested in you are naturally going to want to ask you questions as well that's going to be natural however I will be honest with you when you become really good at this people are guys are going to forget to ask you questions cuz you're so good at this so some guys might actually have interest in you but because you're so good at steering the conversation and putting them in a trance they just keep dumping and they don't realize that they're dumping okay so you have to understand that as you get better at this it becomes harder for people to ask you questions cuz they forget to ask you questions cuz they're in such a trance but I also want you to understand even if he doesn't ask you questions because he's not interested in you you'll still be able to get that information that he's not interested in you because of the way he's talking and what he's talking about you understand what I'm saying right so for example if a guy's only dating you as a rebound and you're getting him to Yap a lot and he's not asking a lot about you because he's not that interested in you because you're a rebound you're going to hear that you're a rebound in the way that he describes how he feels about his ex so as you're getting him to trauma dump you're actually getting a lot of answers on why he might not be asking you questions as well so it kind of always it always works in your favor the more information that you gather you you like it's always ends up being a win-win vice versa it always ends up being a l lose when you share and Trauma dump on someone else and you do all the yapping okay I know it sounds really counterintuitive and like it doesn't make any sense I promise you once you go out into your life and you begin trying all this stuff that we talk about you'll realize how much of a 180 your dates will take um and your life will take honestly because you can use this in your in your work life you can use this with your friendships you can use this with your family and Trust You me uh your life will be different when you realize how to uh get people talking get people to like you get people to want you more get people to be more interested in you and fascinated by you and they'll all think that it's magic they'll all think it's your energy when it's actually your strategy but don't tell anyone I told you okay sh be quiet you be quiet it's a little secret okay right jacine says what kind of question should I ask I actually have a whole show dedicated to the exact type of questions that are the best on dates so just go over to my uh YouTube page and in the live section you'll be able to find that um it's a great long 2our show I do I I think I did it multiple times on really good questions ask I don't want to go too much in detail in this show because that's not the purpose of today's show it's more about the the broader things you can do in general and the emotions you can elicit uh in the way that you present yourself on these dates right what if they were to catch on someone asked well let me let me tell you this you're thinking in your mind people are going to catch on because we're talking about this I can assure you people do not catch on when you get good at this because and the reason I know that is because guys have also used that strategy on you when you love dumping and you love yapping I can assure you you don't realize how much yapping you're doing even if you do realize how much yapping you're doing you still Yap because you love yapping okay right does that make sense okay guys with that being said do you know what time it is I want to know if you know what time it is it's a very very special time and for those of you who are new here you will be confused and unsure of exactly what time it is I'm going to ask you again do you know what time it is can you tell me what time it is here we go now do you know what time it is can you tell me what time it it is here we go now do you know what time it is can you tell me what time it is here we go now do you know what time it is can you tell me what time it is I want to know what time is it in the chat now what time is it in the chat now tell me what time is it in the chat now what time is it in the chat now no tell me what time it is can you tell me what time it is I want to know can you tell me what time it is I want to know what time it is I want to know can you tell me what time it is I want to know what time it is I want to know [Applause] [Music] he [Applause] disc yeah all right guys let's let's hop over into uh the Discord cuz I know uh a lot of you are confused about what this even is and how this even works and what we're even doing here if you're new don't worry you'll learn so the Discord is essentially where all the amazing members of the clip Players Club get the opportunity to ask me a question about their relationship or situationship and I answer their questions live on the show now we have two versions of Discord questions we have regular relationship advice in our Discord and we have what's called premium relationship advice now regular relationship advice I answer your questions first come first serve however because I get so many questions I'm probably behind by a month now in terms of questions and buy like a 100 different questions so if you ask your question today unfortunately I won't be able to get to it today however if you are an eager beaver and you can't wait for your question to be answered you have the option to also donate to our second version of relationship advice which is called relationship advice premium where you donate to the show and then you put your question in relationship advice premium premium and I answer it live on the show because you get to skip the line if you're in premium Now the way that you donate to the show is by going to the link in my description if you're on Tik Tok or it's going to be uh down in in the link in my description if you're on YouTube as well I'm also going to put it in the pin comment for you guys and you can ask your question uh um and I will answer it uh if not on this show then the next show because the VIP the relationship advice premium section gets to skip the line so I'm going to put that and pin that for you guys as well in the YouTube chat so you guys can see that as well all right guys so those are your two options there let's hop right into the first one and before we do the first one I want to acknowledge some of the donations we had in uh the Youtube chat here CU I was going I was ranting today um Marana said before the chat even start before the show even started she donated $5 inste excited for this one uh Tamara says how do you navigate minimizing disclosure with some someone you already have history or familiarity with a school friend the same Circle uh do you say minimizing disclosure as in like like not yapping so much about yourself just start right just just start it right don't be thinking so so uh hard about it just start it by the next time you see them or you come across them or hang out with them try to be thinking to yourself how can I ask you more about you right and and and I promise you as your mindset changes going into seeing someone right where you're thinking how can I ask you more about you and learn more about you your mind will be on asking good questions and trying to understand them and understand their thought process and then like I said you kind of get a break psychologically because as they're asking their questions you're ALS sorry as they're answering your questions you're also thinking of the next follow-up question so just start by asking more questions it's really that simple you don't have to and the more questions you're asking right the less time is being taken up by you yapping you get what I'm saying uh love Smith says I had a first date with a white uh male executive we have our second date Saturday and he knows uh and he keeps texting uh pineapple is he looking for hookups uh if if someone I'll be honest with you guys oh thank you for the donation of $10 as well if uh if a guy is constantly only focused on the pineapples over text while he's trying to date you then that is a clue to you that that is what he's TI 4 so you have to start making a decision after you come to that realization do I really want to keep dating you when it's clear that you're only looking for that cuz you there's there you have to understand you coming out and telling him that he needs to stop talking to you about pineapple related stuff that's only going to make him hide it so that you don't realize it until uh you know it's too late so you don't even need to address it but you should be banking that information and asking yourself do I feel you this is where you have to start using your own discernment do I feel like you're too hyper pineapple fixated that you're clearly not invested in this in a for a real relationship so when you go out on the second date now I want you to start asking him questions to see where his mind is at and if you constantly hear him talk about a relationship as it relates to sleeping together before being being in a relationship now you know where his mind is at type of thing uh Trinity says great sweat session today thank you very much and she donates to Frank I think that's Swiss frank thank you so much I appreciate that thank you so so much all right guys let's hop into our first question uh so Starshine says starts off by saying uh inconsistent uh my PayPal is blocked so I donated in the YouTube chat instead I saw it so uh I'm 26 uh being dating a 25-year-old guy for two months now what does it mean if he's very inconsistent via text or phone calls we see each other about once a week and he rarely texts me/ initiates contact between dates I know uh this is good in a way way but his behavior concerns me okay when he texts me and I text back he takes from two to 10 hours to respond he sometimes leaves me undelivered for 2 days that is not normal sorry excuse me normal boyfriend Behavior okay uh I mean it's only been two months all right uh excuse me is it he told me he's a bad textor at the beginning without me asking him so he he already like this is something that he knows he does uh without me asking him and so am I but when you're into someone don't you have the urge to check your phone or reply quick is this a red flag uh he does not make me feel secure while we are apart from each other sometimes I even wonder if he's secretly still messing with his ex of 6 months he tried to stay uh I tried to stay strong and rarely uh give into the anxiety I feel regarding this even though I really really like this guy ah uh I don't initiate and wait for him to reach out sometimes I think he's playing the waiting game on purpose even though he claims to want me into in his life P.S he always uh pays for everything when we're spending time together booked the trip for next month and plans romantic dates assures me I'm the only girl he's communicating with again without me asking and very territorial over me I'm just confused about these mixed feelings and the discrepancy between his intentions with me and the fact he can go days without thinking to reach out uh PS2 we've been going on dates hanging out since the beginning of uh June already had pineapples four times it's only been two months okay let's see uh he has been inconsistent in our communication even before uh that as we were flirting over okay so if he was inconsistent in communication even before that why would you sleep with him yeah at that point um as we were flirting over text uh since March I don't want to get attached and haven't disclosed anything about my feelings or desires yet as I uh don't find him boyfriend material is so far so then my question becomes why are you entertaining a guy that you you actively feel like is not boyfriend material this is what I mean when I talk to you guys about wasting your time but he always finds a way to charm and he's being a magician in bed great so like what what do you can you do with that in terms of a husband like he I don't want to get mad already uh would instilling a sense of urgency even be possible in this case I want him to outright commit and make his intentions clear this makes me so mad when you guys say this build a sense of urgency I want him to commit why do you do these things right why do you why do you ask me of these things it's like you guys come to me and you say Okay Thomson so basically I gave away all of my leverage now explain to me how can I gain some leverage to get him to want to commit to me what why if you knew that this was seriously that important to you why would you easily give up all of your leverage right I hate to make this sound so transactional but like that is your leverage you understand he wants something from you so if you know that you're looking for urgency and commitment from him why are you openly giving out your leverage and then coming back and saying well I gave away all my leverage so tell me how to negotiate girl you can't negotiate when you have no leverage that's not how business works okay I know this is a relationship but the same thing applies okay uh he introduced me to his mom and sister when I stayed at his place once they kind of heard me screaming what what are you talking about what you mean by that they heard you screaming screaming for why so I doubt he'd be so bold if he still was with his ex I tell you boy I believe he's very good at playing games and could be act and could actually be red pill influence heard him speak of cucks and simps I'm not going to describe to you what cucks are for those of you who don't know uh just search it on your own time with other with utter disdain uh uh describing other mutual friends of ours uh which I don't find fitting into these categories PS3 uh he has said also multiple times how much he likes and appreciates my feminine behavior and Outlook that I insist on a man being a a gentleman and carrying the load he said this uh is inspiring and that's only right however I get the feeling by his actions or lack thereof passively that he's used to being the princess himself in previous relationships it's funny because the guys tell you that they want to respect you and they don't want you to make it easy for them and then somehow you guys think that the best way to go about it is to to make things easy for him okay so what he's actually describing to you is the fact that you give him the space to be a man and pursue you he actually really enjoys that right and that's actually making him feel more like a man the pursuit of you now I know that you're in your mind you're thinking bro you don't pursue me you barely even text me things like that but what I'm saying is it's only been two week two months okay in the span of two months let's even imagine let's even say for the sake of argument something crazy like you go on two dates a week going on two dates a week with someone and when you first meet them is already you know a lot so let's imagine you go out on two dates a week with someone that's only that's only in the span of um of uh two weeks going to be what uh eight 16 days okay right that's if you went on two dates per week okay and so I say that to say give it some time okay give it some time let things build okay let things build over time and let things you you know escalate over time don't be so hyperfixated that oh my God everything hasn't happened at once that means he doesn't like me keep keep hold your water okay hold your water take a chill pill just keep relaxing and let him come to you when he's ready to come to you he might be busy right obviously yeah I get it a couple days not texting you back you know you're getting a little bit anxious about that but just give it give it a little bit so far what you said because I can't say that he's not interested in you because you did say that he's been you know in terms of he spends time with you uh he makes sure to be a gentleman uh right and uh he's very territorial right you you have some signs there of someone who is showing some interest in in you now I will say mistake came when you having pineapples with him so early on uh but I will say he's showing some signs of a little bit of interest in you so I don't think right now you need to be doing anything to try to push this uh to start working out faster than it needs to especially the position that you're in uh where you don't have any bargaining power right you already gave away a lot of your leverage and a lot of the urgency you could have made him feel by him not sleeping with you yet you already gave that away so I think for you right now you need to continue uh doing what like he's been talking about just kind of being in your feminine and allowing him to come to you when he's ready so that he can recognize within himself I speak to her because I want to speak to her the worst thing you can do Starshine in this situation is try to force him to speak to you by saying hey you don't text me enough hey you don't call me enough hey you don't take me out enough type of thing because then he's only going to push back against that and he's probably going to talk to you less or want you less because he feels like you're trying to force him to do that the second thing I want to acknowledge for you and that you need to figure out is why are you dating a guy that you don't think is boyfriend material right you said I don't find him boyfriend material is so far so why are you investing your time and energy even bothering to go out on dates with a man who you don't think is boyfriend material the logic does not make sense and I I never I have to continue pointing this out to all of you that you need to take your time and your energy so seriously and valuably that you stop wasting it on guys that you don't see or foresee a future with so if a guy is let's just say for the sake of argument you need a guy to be texting you every day and that's the only type of guy you can have in your life that will be texting you every day calling you every day uh speaking to you all the time 24/7 and never want to not speak to you let's just say that's the that's the thing that you need okay I'm not even here to tell you if that's right or wrong if that's the thing that you know you need and that's what you need in a husband then you need to make it clear for yourself that if a guy I come across is not that then I probably should be looking for a different guy if that's if that's the criteria that you know that you need okay so if you're telling me that for multiple reasons he's not boyfriend material for you move forward why waste your time on a guy who you're openly identifying is not boyfriend material to you that is a complete and utter waste of your time why not give that energy back to yourself and then when you do invest it in someone else it's someone that you actually think is boyfriend material don't be don't be silly okay uh next we have here uh let's see guys uh small update clarifica and clarifications to yesterday okay so I want to make you guys aware just so you guys don't think that this is a thing uh people that ask multiple questions in the relationship advice premium are donating multiple times so I've already verified uh that a Mary donated multiple times which is why she asked multiple questions so I don't want you guys to think that you can ask one you can donate one time and then ask a whole bunch of questions and you constantly get to skip that's not how that works just because we have to be fair to everyone else so if you want multiple questions you got to donate multiple times so that it's fair for everyone else who's waiting okay so Mary uh said she had a question yesterday uh you guys should go watch that to know her full question she says Hi everyone I'm the girl from yesterday's story I didn't realize uh everything oh I think actually this is the uh yes this is uh there was a second part to this so this is from today right so this is your part number two regarding his message from yesterday he said just to let uh you know I'm leaving soon you suggested uh oh yeah just to let you know I'm leaving soon you suggested I asked uh him what that meant which I did okay and uh he replied with a voice message asking if I was pretending not to understand or if I genuinely didn't get it so uh let me give you guys a quick summary basically this guy that she was kind of going back and forth with talking to uh he essentially has kind of been wishy-washy and now he just messaged her recently like as of like a day ago uh that hey just to let you know I'm leaving soon he basically was trying to bait her into saying okay so then let's go out on a date he wanted her to be the man he wanted her to put on her construction pants get down and dirty and be the man and ask him out on a date because he's leaving soon so I told her don't do anything and make him force him to be a man and say oh okay so what does that mean so that he can fix his mouth to say yeah I'm leaving soon so I want to go out on a date with you before I leave never ever do the work for the men and this was a prime example of how guys are going to try to bait you into into doing the work for him so that he doesn't have to actually uh be a man and ask uh it was uh satisfying to hear him be so direct and say that if I still wanted to see him again um now was the time because he's leaving soon he sounded like a little boy asking if uh I had time for him and I loved it you see what she get when you do nothing let those men be men he want never forget guys when when I'm saying guys but I mean women but never forget as the woman when a guy approaches you and he wants something from you it is not your job J to make it easier for him to get something from you so if he wants to spend time with you let him fix his mouth to say I want to spend time with you can I spend time with you right guys are going to be very very sneaky it's 2024 now they're going to say things like this just to let you know I'm leaving soon they're going to leave it there so that you can do the job when you get anxious oh you're leaving soon oh so can we go out on a date on Friday I would love to go out on a date with you on Friday are you free on Friday don't do it and when you sit back you relax he'll come to you because he already wants something from you and he'll fix his mouth to say it if he actually has some konas he was like uh if you if you want if you would like to meet uh I mean if you would like to see me again uh we should meet now you see how guys get nervous when they have to be a man but it's good it trains him that the only way to get access to you is to come out and ask for it not to sit around and hope that he's going to get it by backdooring okay I know for a fact that his ego is big and it's not usually his style to be so straightforward it's great though you're training him you're training him my question uh if he brings up intimacy when we meet what should I say say nothing uh I'd also appreciate any general tips you have for the date don't worry he said he's coming to my city and he'll pick me up see how you get everything you want by doing absolutely nothing thank you so much again for your help and sorry for the confusion it's okay so uh Mary uh you got what you wanted by doing nothing so let that be Len to you to do nothing okay and uh in terms of him talking about intimacy on the date I don't need you to come out and say hey I just want you to know you're never going to sleep with me and I'm I'm so different than all the other girls and don't do any of that okay I just want you to make it very simple when he talks about intimacy with you I want you to redirect the conversation into something else okay and when I say redirect the conversation I want you to redirect it into questions that uh pertain to information that you actually want to extract from him don't waste time talking about sleeping with each other it's not actually going to benefit you in terms of extracting information so watch this show and shows about asking questions so you can figure out how to redirect conversation back into information that you can actually use to better understand his mind frame you understand what I'm saying that's way better now when it comes to Intimacy in general I don't want you going over to his house definitely don't be going over to his house and drinking wine or taking shots don't do any of that if you're a smoker don't be get heading into his car and start smok don't do none of that okay no need for these first few dates cuz I believe you're still on the first few dates no need to be going back to his house and doing nothing where it's just you and him okay keep these dates public let him enjoy his time with you cut it short so that he can be thinking cuz you're still in the early stages where he still needs to really have a lot of intention about you so I would advise for you cut it short two hours maximum say you got to go home you got work or whatever it is so that he can be thinking damn I am going on on this trip and I really want to see her either again soon or definitely as soon as I come back from this trip keep that uh that pressure from him going where he continuously wants to keep applying pressure you got to give guys space so that they can keep applying pressure if you are not giving him enough space because you're the one all on his body he won't be able to ask or give apply any pressure okay so that's my advice for you on that but I'm glad you're getting what you want now when you sit back and you relax okay see how that works now let's head over into relationship advice uh the free section here and we will um answer some of these questions here as well all right so uh the free section as you can see we got a whole bunch of different questions probably over a hundred that I have not answered let's start here uh and ask from here because I haven't answered this one yet all right so uh we have here Ania who says advice how to know when a man comes back or misses me genuinely how different his words or actions would be when it really would be about reconnecting is it possible to never be mistreated but genuinely a love and be loved and cared for I'm already treating myself with respect waiting for the right man not to show off my body uh and with any revealing clothes not sleeping over I set boundaries and communicate my values I don't treat men as a prize and it really works because it led to Serious Obsession even him being really emotionally over me uh being really emotional over me and crying but I keep attracting men that are very Niche H sorry very Niche very nice and lovey at first but then uh waiting wanting only one thing uh not treating me like a valuable person sometimes they don't reveal their true intentions for a really long time and the same thing was uh the same thing it was with the obsessed man he was all in love with me seeing how much he wants me to be his wife pouring out uh his emotions and heart but at the beginning uh of the first date he started crying what the hell what the hell uh he was telling me uh that he can't feel anything that he expected something else that he regrets that it all feels like a dream like I'm not real like nothing around is real what in the whatpad story these guys be too dramatic man these guys want to be princesses I asked him if it's because he doesn't feel anything to me he went silent what what is this uh so I told him if you don't feel anything to me it's okay I can simply go back home or we can become friends what what why would you say what he looked at me with tears and said but I don't want to lose you this is the first date chat what is this this is the literally the first date lose you on what you dated someone for 30 seconds anyways uh since then his mind magically changed from I feel nothing to again I want you as my wife uh yeah this is just a word of advice for you Ania stay away from men like this uh men like this um there's nothing wrong with having emotions okay uh even as a guy but men like this that are this emotionally up and down like this you just need to stay away from them because you're not going to be in as a masculine energy he has to have some sort of stability within himself that you have room in your feminine energy to be emotional and feel things and go up and go down not that he can't feel things ever whatsoever he definitely can express emotions but he has to be a little bit more emotionally stable so that you can express your emotions uh this first date uh he's cry I feel nothing and then the next day he's like I want you to be my wife but I feel nothing like that that's that's way too extreme okay and that's that at that point it's just that's just unstable and you can't work with that as a woman because you're going to like you're going to be the one having to console him when he's going through these emotional roller coasters and then so who's going to be there for you when you have some sort of emotional roller coaster you're the woman so you're supposed to have the emotional roller coaster not that he can't have emotions but like that's not he's not supposed to be like this all the time he's supposed to be a stable force in your life so he can balance you out and so I say that to say I don't think that's not that's not going to work okay I just that's not my belief I don't think that can work when he's like that on the first date that's insane he started being overly sticky towards me he wanted to kiss I said no because I catched bad vibes from him I I hope you did cuz I've already caught bad vibes later he asked how I felt about the date I told him that these sudden changes in his feelings didn't feel genuine and I didn't want to talk to him honestly you should have just you should have just never spoke to him because I agree with you but I don't even think that you needed to tell him that because now you're telling him what not to do so you're making it clear to him why you don't like him so that he can stop doing that uh he went on uh obsessed mode again pouring his emotions but I wanted to know the uh reason of him telling me I don't feel anything he said that he expected something better from my looks what and started picking up on me what uh okay now after a year of not talking to him he typed to me again again with wanting to go out again on a second date okay I'm going to make that simple for you I know you sent this message a while ago don't don't go on on the date you're talking about this specific guy don't go on that date absolutely no not not not not not even a little bit uh first telling me that I'm not enough and he expected something better from my appearance and then saying I want to go out on a date with you or wanting to kiss me I confronted him about that because I don't want to go out on dates with anyone who humbled I think you meant say who tries to Humble me and changes his mind afterwards okay I agree I agree that's uh that's not that's not a good sign uh then you go on on to say uh uh tries to oh I lost my place I lost my place oh yeah and uh he told me I don't understand it even myself I come AC I come across you because you are important to me and I feel that I don't want to lose someone who is so close to me how you you guys went on one date and he hasn't spoken to you in a year and a half how are you guys so close and that's why I just started thinking that I have something wrong with my brain no he does and the source of what attracts me so much to you oh that's what he's saying to you sorry that I was wondering I was like no this is this is idiotic and the source of what attracts me to you so much is is uh I suspect is mainly that I have never felt such closeness from anyone uh except for you other girls were never so important to me as you are are that's what I miss and that's why I regret it all so much because it's something that I lost because of my decisions I have this inner feeling that I regret my words and decisions once before our meeting I also thought I was not enough for you I miss love a little I really regret my decisions and miss you okay um I want to he then goes on to say uh I asked why you would want to go out on a date with anyone who you don't even find pretty okay I want to make you guys aware just so you this is just a side note for you guys I want I want to make you guys aware of when people will apologize to you uh like from a non- genuine place it will sound a lot like this because even when they apologize you'll be like I'm not really sure what you're even saying uh it's a it's a what I call it's like word vomit and I've seen this from a lot of men before uh where when they apologize they just word vomit where they I'm sorry for the decisions I made and and it's so bad because I miss you so much and I I made mistakes and the mistakes I made I regret them and the decisions I made I regret them and and you're kind of like well what are you actually talking about though I don't I don't understand what you're actually actually talking about um you're not being specific and it sounds very vague like you took it out of a romance novel and and you pasted it in here okay uh this is part one of those signs where one of two things is happening either he's not emotionally intelligent enough to know how to properly apologize for wronging someone or number two he literally just doesn't mean it genuinely which is why he's being so vague right uh very very just just you Wast of your time uh I you asked why you want to date if you didn't pretty see now you're fishing for a reason when it doesn't matter you don't want to be with this guy and he answered that's why want to meet up with you to see you again to check if my brain is not effed up because I have no idea why I said that the last thing he said uh sounds like I would have to prove myself that I'm actually enough for him that's why I ended the conversation here I asked my friends about the situation they answered that he's probably just wanting to come back because he knew uh the entry thres uh thresold Point uh since I agreed to go out on a date with him and no other girl wanted to be with him at that time I would agree with that it probably has to do with the fact that he knew he could probably get a date with you and he probably had way less options uh they said he probably only wanted one thing for me I would agree I asked him before he if he was in a relationship since our date and he said no I live under a rock I don't know what to think about it uh at all anymore okay so thank you for your question here Ania I'm going to be very straight up with you for no reason whatsoever should you go out on a date with this guy go out to eat with this guy grab a snack with this guy grab coffee with this guy you shouldn't do anything with this guy okay I don't even want you uh going to the same movie theater as him okay don't don't do nothing with him right there's no reason for you to uh he's a lot of red flags and you can't do anything with a guy like that there's no offense him right like I said nothing wrong with being emotional but you can't do anything with a guy who is on that you know wide of emotional extremes on a day-to-day basis or for in some cas basis for in an hour to hour basis it's just that that's exhausting and there's no way you could possibly build a relationship off of that Foundation you will always be frustrated for the entirety of the relationship because you won't understand why he's doing any of the things that he's doing nothing's going to make sense to you and uh someone says narcissist detected honestly you're going to it's going to feel a lot like that like being in a relationship with a narcissist I don't know him so I don't want to cast any aspersions on his character but you're going to feel like the reality of it is this the the way you're just describing it here it's like he wants to make you feel like it's your job to do more for him to prove to him something that other girls haven't proven to him it's just so stupid like nobody wants him that's why he's here begging for you to see you again okay uh it's just a very he's talking like he's in a romeat and Juliet novel and he doesn't even know you that's love bombing and people only do that to manipulate you so no no reason to go back to this guy worry about him worry about what he thinks it doesn't matter because he's not what you're looking for don't waste time on him in fact block him so he can't continue to contact you and word vomit on you ever again don't don't don't don't don't don't bother okay uh next we have here uh let's see I'll do a few into in the free section today so we can catch up uh oh this one was deleted you deleted yours okay uh so uh red says men are confusing or women are complicated hey Tommy a guy 22 I think you don't know his age that I was interested in said he didn't want commitment so I moved on very quickly I feel like that I feel like that's the end of it okay I feel like that's all you needed uh he ghost me for a month and I didn't care to text him again after ghosting uh me oh okay uh he then sends me a pineapple video he doesn't speak to you for a month and then his like return to your life is sending you a pineapple video wow I I that's a first I will say that's a first in the Players Club Discord that I've ever heard of anyone doing that that's uh that's a that's honestly that's psychopath behavior let's see where this goes this might be an interesting we were not close post like that I ignored him cuz WTF I agree he then added me on social media and so like that's just never got addressed and I decided to hear him out cuz I think that's fair he came back into your life after ghosting You by sending you porn I don't even know if I can say that okay by sending you Pineapple videos I didn't mean to say that and your thought process is that he deserves for you to hear him out if he sends you a pineapple video what do you think his fol like guys I I I I recently came to the realization that I do need to do 24hour streams because I can see how confused some of you are uh because this act is not conf conf using at all what do you think a guy who sends you porn for the first time after not speaking to you is thinking and feeling and wanting from you I keep saying it but I'm supposed to say pineapple videos right be so for Real uh I think he was just playing games but he swears he wasn't what yet he said he was just sabotaging our friendship in order to gain control he also told me that he surprised he he's surprised I'm mad because instead of calling him out right away I ignored him I'm so confused because if I actually called his behavior out uh right away after ghosting me what makes him think that he will actually respect me like that he won't so don't fall for the Trap he just wants you to continue chasing him whenever he withdraws from you so that he can continue getting princess treatment from you uh I told him out of respect for my boyfriend I don't talk to other guys chat I'm going to need to take a stretch okay just let me take a stretch cuz uh yeah this type of stuff yeah yeah I got I got to take a stretch for a second oh my God wow wow wow wow okay so let's get this straight uh what's your name here red this whole time this was happening while you had a boyfriend so let's I I just I don't I don't want you you guys to miss the context here so he sent you a pineapple video after not speaking to you for a month now you have a boyfriend and he sends you a pineapple video quite inappropriate if you have a boyfriend but then when he adds you to social media you chose that the best decision to make was to hear the guy out who you once were trying to have a romantic relationship with so that already makes it inappropriate with inappropriate but also just recently sent you a pineapple video and you have a boyfriend while you're having this conversation with him about your relationship that you were once in with him I'll just leave it at that and I won't cast any judgment and I'll let you Ponder on whether you think that that that was the that's right or not okay uh I told him out of respect for my BF so now you want that's how you're going whatever uh I don't talk to other guys and he said I wish you didn't tell me that you have a BF because now I'm going to pursue you you know I I don't want to make this too spiritual here but Ren I I I want you to really be thinking about the type of energy you allow in your life uh because sh um I'm I'm telling you you let certain type of people into your life and you give energy to you give attention and energy to them it will only bring a lot of bad things into your life I can assure you of that uh people who think like this want nothing good for you I I I I will promise you that if you take anything away from this people who talk like that they want nothing good from for for you they only want to come into your life to cause chaos only and they actually feel good about coming into your life and causing chaos and wreckage and leaving you damaged and broken so the fact that you're even considering being open to hearing anything he has to say at this point is insanity a week later he has still been texting me but his messages are ignored why not just block him why not just block him what what are you gaining from watching him message you over and over again like that what are you actually gaining is it an egoo boost for you right uh why does he all of a sudden want me when he can't have me what can you please explain this R worded Behavior okay let me make this simple for you stop concerning conning yourself with why he's messaging you and accept the fact that this him even having a conversation with you like this is already inappropriate and you don't have any business entertaining anyone who is talking to you like this okay who cares why he's messaging you block him I and you know red I you know I know for all of us it's a lot easier to justify things for ourselves cuz it's us and it's a lot harder to see things from someone else perspective but red I honestly want to ask you if a girl that was once you know had a thing with your boyfriend messaged him sent him a pineapple video and then went on to say oh now that you told me I have a girlfriend I'm really going to go after you now what would you want your boyfriend to do continue just allowing that girl to message him all the time or would you ask or expect your boyfriend to put his foot down and just blow block her because once someone makes it very extremely clear not only are they only here to sleep with you or do something inappropriate with you but on top of that they're actually going to try to uh you know ruin your relationship because now they want to pursue you because you have a girlfriend or boyfriend don't you think like at what point does the line get drawn where someone in your life becomes too toxic that you can't even allow them to have any access to you anymore do you understand like at what point is there a boundary where you say you can't speak to me like that because me even allowing you to message me is disrespectful as if I you would have an opportunity to speak to me like that right and this is what I mean when I say you have to have you have to be so obsessed with your self-respect that you don't allow guys to even have the chance to approach you in this disrespectful manner sending you the pineapple video should have already been the last draw but if even if you even if that couldn't be the last STW for you this should have been the Absol abute last STW and I'm not talking about ignore him last STW I'm talking about blocking him last STW because whether or not you're saying Oh but you know I you know I'm just blocking him because I'm not going to talk to him now but if I ever want to talk to him in the future and I break up it doesn't matter because why would you want someone in your life that thinks like this why even if you were single why would you want and invite someone with this type of energy into your life that is thinking TOS damn now that you have a boyfriend now that you have some sort of happiness I want to come into your life so I can make sure you have nothing but chaos why would you even why would you even want to be friends with someone like that why would you even want someone like that to have your number why would you even want someone like that to be able to fall you should want to be far far far away from people with that type of energy towards you or just in general you should want to distance yourself completely from people like that don't even have them be able to call you or talk to you because you should be so obsessed with your self-respect and so obsessed with guarding your energy that you don't allow people like that in your space I know that sounds very spiritual but I'm so serious about that you got to be very very cognizant about that especially for you as a woman that you don't let these wow like this is crazy that he would say that and even be bold enough to continue messaging you after the fact of saying that it's insanity and I think that if you haven't already you should block him because what is even the purpose of receiving his messages I ask at that point he's made it clear what he wants and he's made it clear that he's not looking to do anything respectful or nice why even bother continuing to view his message or allowing him to even contact you waste of time and uh honestly doesn't benefit you whatsoever okay uh next we have here let's see uh okay we got uh all right uh so Su says uh hi Thomasson sugar I said Su says sugar me or his baby mother oh boy you guys know it's going to be some drama when you hear baby mother in the title hi Thomson so my uh boyfriend and I have been together for a little little over a month from what he told me he and his baby mama are not together uh but the first day day he met me he was on his way there I didn't know then I had just closed from work and was walking home when he stopped on the road to give me a ride which I rejected but I gave him my contact okay I don't have a problem with you giving him your contact but like I okay I need there to be a little bit of like okay I don't know how to say this but like there there's a certain type of mentality you have to have to like ride on the road see someone on the road and invite them into your car to give them a ride that you've and you've never met them I say that to say you need to be thinking to yourself is someone that would actually think that that's appropriate or like cool to do is that someone that is like has all all their you know it's all the way there because Like It just strikes me like as very odd behavior not that he would want your number but the idea that he would just blatantly you know roll up on you and then ask you if you wanted to hop in the car and get a ride that doesn't strike me as someone who has the uh social awareness to understand why certain things are inappropriate and it makes me nervous to think what else do they not understand is socially appropriate or inappropriate because asking a stranger who you've never met to hop in your car so you can give them a ride that's weird that's weird and if he can't understand why that's kind of like weird and strange then I feel like he might not he might not be all the way there type of thing okay right uh just a side note so I don't think that's someone you should be giving your number to okay uh we had a long chat that night that same night after he asked you to give you a ride he wanted us to go out that same evening but I rejected again what is what is with that what is with him like he just met you okay see what I'm talking about guys the next day he uh called me in the morning on his way to work and we had a small random chitchat that even does he not have work this is the type of things you should be thinking about don't you have to go to work why are you calling me early in the in the morning that that evening as we were chatting I told him I wanted to go get some money from the ATM and send it to someone so he offer to take me you don't see how this is a safety hazard how old are you uh oh sorry I even forgot this is your boyfriend now okay he ended up giving me the money instead and we hanged out for a while so he pays you for your time the next day was his birthday so he planned on going to dinner he got me a dress for it and it was a fun night Chad I don't want you to forget in this message this is literally day number two so he saw her on the road asked her to pick uh asked if she wanted a ride to where she was going she said no that same night he asked to see her she said no the next morning morning he called her spoke to her and then that evening he took her to the ATM well didn't take her to the ATM ended up just giving her a money and and then the next day was his uh birthday so this is day number three so we're 72 hours into him them meeting each other he got me a dress and it was a fun night he told me about his child and his baby mama but he said he doesn't live with them although she lives in a house he bought he lives in an apartment I asked him what he wanted with me as in his intention which he said he wants me for something serious so I agreed and we started a relationship uh Chad I I don't want you guys to think I'm exaggerating this is quite legitimately day number three we are 72 hours into them even discovering each other's existence and they are now boyfriend and girlfriend on day number three day number one he saw her on the side of the road asked her if she wanted to ride she said no day number two he took her to the ATM gave her some money day number three it was his birthday they went out for a birthday dinner and now their boyfriend and girlfriend in 72 hours congratulations wow congratulations uh what's your name here sugar you this is the fastest you know relationship I've ever seen in the Discord 72 hours is our new record for boyfriend and girlfriend okay horrible decision and horrible uh thing to say yes to also horribly super red flag but congratulations that's the record okay uh first two weeks was nice sure I mean you're you you you he's only like he's only two weeks old to you you literally haven't met him at all you it's funny on the third night do you even know his last name do you even know his real name cuz he could have given you a nickname wow uh but we always have something to fight over I wonder why probably because you don't know each other and you're still strangers he accused me of infidelity because a friend visited me in uh my apartment and when he came visited me in my apartment and when he came there I apologized for days uh and told him I love him you told him you love him and don't want to lose him which I regret now because since then it looks like I'm the one chasing him he had paid someone in my area who tells him whenever a car picks me up or drops me at my home he is insecure yes but he doesn't want to act right he calls and gets mad whenever this happens Chad are we going to give sugar the award for dating the craziest man I have never even fathomed this as a possibility to do to get someone to watch you 24/7 and say whether or not someone's picking you up or dropping you off wow wow I wow that might take the cake for the craziest the craziest boyfriend that really might take the cake I I am quite shocked and quite even more shocked that you would not say to yourself probably someone that I shouldn't be in a relationship with I'm quite shocked that you couldn't you couldn't pull yourself out of this or didn't see how this could go wrong right now he has moved in with his baby mama but he doesn't want me to know she lives close to my house and he uses the road in front of my house whenever he comes to pick uh to whenever he comes to my place he either turns back as if he's going to his apartment or waits till I enter my apartment before he uh sorry waits till I enter my apartment before uh he lives but I always watch him uh drive to his baby Mama's House these days he only calls me at night and I always answer I mean obviously he's with his baby mom during the day does he even have a job last night I intentionally didn't pick up any of his four calls and I didn't intend to call back but at the same time I don't want to end the relationship why what are you getting from it Suga what are you getting from the relationship what are you getting you haven't described aside from the dress you got on that one date you haven't told me anything that else that you're getting he uh claims he isn't sleeping with his Baby Mo mother yeah all right uh but he's staying with her now and he doesn't want me talking to other men but he's acting but he isn't acting right so he wants his cake and need it to to wants his cake and he wants to eat it too basically but uh before then the baby mama uh and her mom staying wait what the baby mama had her mom staying with her but the woman has left the house leaving my boyfriend moving back with her it's a bit complicated and I don't know what to do if I should still ignore him until he changes or just move on uh I asked him for a breakup before he didn't mind and called acting like everything was good what do you mean you asked for a breakup you just break up with someone you don't ask them for it oh my God you you need a lot of um there's so many things wrong with this situation that you're in and I'm shocked that you can't identify any of them but all in all you need to never speak to this guy again you're not like chat you know I I would love for you women to cuz I just think that sometimes I'm not able to step into the mind frame of of some of you sometimes because when you guys send me messages and I read it in detail and you tell me like 15 different red flags and then in this process of your message there is never one thing that's actually working out in this relationship and then at the end of it you guys say but I want I don't want to end this relationship I always ask myself what are you even gaining from this like even if you say oh but I love that guy I like what is it that you love about the person and and and this is why I say I feel like sometimes in some cases some of you are attached to literally thin air and I'm like what are you what are you actually loving there's no way you love how he mistreats you there's no way you love how he disrespects you there's no way you love that he lives with his baby mother there's no way you love how he's been lying to you about where he's staying there's no way you love how he's being so inconsistent with you there's no way you love how you uh feel lied to in the relationship there's no way you love how he's going behind your back there's no way you love how you think he's sleeping with his baby mother at this point in time so I'm like what is it that you love that you feel like you don't want to leave this relationship and I'm just like I really I'd be trying to put it together in my mind but like it gives it gives me it makes my head hurt when I try to think about it because I cannot for the life of me I cannot understand it you can have love with someone that doesn't put you through this and I know it's easier said than done but like the first step is just getting away from that person you understand what I'm saying I know it sounds e it's easy easier said than done but the only way you can move forward is if you like wean yourself off of this person and the only way to truly do that is to never give them access to you again you got to block them so you have to forget about them okay and I and a lot of times when I say block guys you guys are thinking I mean block just so that he can't contact you but for a lot of you the situation is I want you to block him so that you can actually move forward cuz when you block someone you don't see their messages anymore you don't see their picture anymore you don't see them post anymore you don't hear from them anymore it actually allows you to like finally start to move forward because when you're in it it's very hard to realize how little you are getting from the person and how much better your life will be without them But as time goes on and your and your self-esteem increases and your anxiety decreases you'll realize the best thing I ever did was stop speaking to that person okay so I think for you in your case sugar the first thing you need to do is block him on everything number uh you know email text uh Delete the Netflix delete anything that ties you to him right um and anticipate if he's super crazy he might show up at your door but I want you to keep ignoring as long as you possibly can because you need to get rid of this guy out of your life so that you can actually start moving forward and thinking about you for once cuz nothing about what what do you expect me to say I'm supposed to give you advice on how to be with the guy that does nothing for you I'm supposed to give you advice on how to be with a guy that disrespects you what am I supposed to say there's magic words that you can say or a magic potion you can pour on him and make him drink that will magically make him act right or treat you right that's not how that works so if a guy does doesn't treat you right and he doesn't uh know how to be a good boyfriend you stand up for yourself for yourself for yourself and you make the decision to say if you can't show up for me how I expect you to show up for me you're done you don't get any more access to me sugar unfortunately I'm just a human being right a regular person with skin who poops and eats cereal so I can't give you a magic potion that will make a guy who has no intention of acting right and has not shown you at all that he has any intention of actually being a good boyfriend to magically turn into a good boyfriend he doesn't want to be he doesn't seem like he desires to be and he hasn't been being that so at that point it's your job to say if you can't be that then you can't have access to me anymore okay all right guys that's the show for today if I didn't answer your question don't fret there's lots more days where I answer questions I do this every single day if you want to send in your question and you want me to answer it ASAP feel free to go into relationship advice premium section where you can ask your question but make sure that you donate to the show before you ask your question or as soon 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