new episode of a better you I your host Fernand Ramirez and welcome back I'm so happy that you're here I'm very excited for today's episode because last week we covered all things getting into the haot girl summer spirit and how I know that the summer season is upon me is when the social calendar starts filling up again and everybody wants to hang out it's almost as if the winter depression is gone people are getting out of their little cocoons I'm defrosting and people just want to go for patio season people want to hang they want to go out they want to go on a picnic they want to go on vacation but whether you are struggling a little bit to make friends or maybe you don't have enough friends maybe you moved to a new city to a new country maybe you just moved out for the first time or maybe you just want to go in a healing era and kind of spend more time with yourself learn about yourself and really sit with you and your soul I want to talk about spending time alone in this episode because like I said although being social is great you can have some burnout when you're too social and I think it's important to be able to reel it back in and spend time with yourself not only because it makes you feel rejuvenated but you can learn a lot about yourself you can learn a lot about the things that you like to do what you don't like to do it's also a great opportunity to get outside of your comfort zone and really just be one with yourself and explore that if you haven't already spent a lot of time with yourself I also think it's a great time to gain some Independence attendence and just kind of enjoy your own company and become your best self and maybe if you are usually used to dating a bunch of people or maybe you got out of a relationship maybe this is the time where you want to focus on yourself and date yourself I feel like I've heard that saying a lot and I think it's so cute because before you can go and date someone else I think it's really important to have a good relationship with yourself and that goes for everything same with friendships I think it's really important to be able to have yourself have your own back before you get into other friendships or Partnerships because because if you know your own worth and you spend time with yourself you're going to be so confident and you won't be relying on validation or anything from anyone because you know that you got your own back so I'm excited for today's episode because this past year I have spent a lot of time on my own I spent a lot of time traveling and I feel like I've gotten some tips and some tricks to enjoying time alone romanticizing it even before we get on into today's episode make sure that you are following this podcast on whatever streaming platform you listen to make sure you are subscribed to the YouTube channel make sure you give the video a thumbs up make sure you give the podcast a rating and make sure you give a follow to the atab better you by Fernanda Instagram because I'm always doing polls on there I'm always taking into consideration your ideas your advice your critiques your tips and overall I just want this platform and this community to be a very collaborative thing I just want it to be a place where I'm creating content that you guys want to see and you guys are getting quality content from me that I put a lot of effort into so yeah before we get into to today's episode let me give you a little bit of a life update on myself some of you guys may be like Fernanda I don't really care but I want to tell you because some big things are happening recently and the first thing is that I actually go to Costa Rica a week from today which is freaking crazy to even say I'm so excited and actually before I continue on with me talking about this I need to know is it Costa Rica or Costa Rica because for some reason I have been saying Costa Rica and my friends were saying Costa Rica and now I'm just confused when I was growing up my parents spoke Spanish at home and there was a lot of times where they said words differently because of their accent and I fully grew up believing that that's how you said the word and then I went to school and I realized that I've just been saying it wrong the whole time like for example salmon I used to always say salmon because in Spanish it's salmon anyways you get the point I feel like that's the same thing with Costa Rica although in Spanish it would be Costa Rica so either way it's I'm not saying it correctly so anyways I don't know where I got that from but I am going to Costa Rica and I am so stoked I'm going to be in a whole bunch of places so if any of you guys are actually from Costa Rica I would highly appreciate it if you guys sent me a DM and maybe you can give me some tips or places to visit and I'll tell you what places I'm going to be at and you can give me some recommendations but yeah I'm going to have to do some pre-filming of some episodes and this whole week is basically going to be prep before I leave so far I've been doing some online shopping I booked a eyebrow lamination and tint I booked an eyelash tint and lift I'm going to get my toes done my nails done I just booked a lymphatic drainage massage I have a laser hair removal appointment I'm getting a facial I'm really just doing the absolute most but I feel like it's always just a good time to do a little glow up like before you go on a trip and you just leave feeling amazing so I'm so excited I'm going to be going with two of my friends and it's going to be so fun I haven't gone on a trip with them in such a long time probably since I was literally in high school so I think it's just going to be a great opportunity to bond to get some girl time in and yeah other than that this past week has been a very social week for me but I am going to be going into my hermit mode because like I said I have so much to do before I leave and I think it's time for some Solitude which kind of leads us into today's episode the past few days or the past few weeks I've been hanging out so much and I even got kind of in the routine of it so when I had a free day I was going to go to a coffee shop and I was like should I text someone should I ask someone and then I was like Fernanda you used to hang out all the time by yourself you don't need to ask anyone just do it yourself you used to love hanging out by yourself and not to say that I don't still it's just that I haven't had time to so anyways I went by myself I had a great time and I always enjoy my own company so going off of that I wanted to make today's episode on entering your Solitude era or your solo era so let's jump into the episode let me tell you a little bit about spending time alone and my experience with it when I was younger especially in high school and when I lived at home with my family I didn't really spend much time alone I mean I would go to the coffee shops here and there but really I was always around other people and it wasn't until I started traveling that I had to be alone and it did make me feel a little bit sad at sometimes like I think I would be traveling and I'd get really homesick because I just didn't have somebody else to talk to I would feel super bored I just felt very lonely but through traveling on my own I got a little bit more accustomed to it and of course once I moved out of my family home and I started living alone that was like my literal Solitude era because now I live alone so that was crazy it did feel like I was just in a hotel though so it didn't feel too bad but I will say for the first like months of me living in this apartment I swear I basically only hung out with myself like I would hang out with my friends every weekend and stuff but during the week it was solo time and godamn did I get good at finding things to do not being bored and enjoying my own company I think spending time alone is such a important thing to do because you really have no other option than to sit with your own thoughts and sometimes that can be painful because some things that you suppress or some things that you think you don't even think about can come up and then you just start overthinking and then and you're just like what the heck why am I sad all of a sudden about something that I didn't think I was bothered by and it can be very hard to sit with your feelings but I do think that it's vital to go through because you end up on the other side with much more clarity and maturity and I feel like you just work through a lot of problems that you have on your own I also think that being alone really makes you have to figure out things to do like unless you're going to be on your phone for 12 hours a day you're going to have to find activities to do and one of the things that I love doing while I was alone I feel like I don't do it as much anymore more but when I first started spending a lot of time alone it was like journaling either doing daily summaries or doing Journal prompts from Pinterest or whatever it was I did a lot of journaling because I I wanted someone to talk to and you know in that way you can kind of talk to yourself here and so when I am alone I feel like it's a perfect time for self-reflection you can kind of really sit with your own thoughts and even think about the goals that you want to have think about the type of person you want to be think about if your actions are aligning with who you are trying to be just all of the above it's it's a really great great time to think about where you are at and what you've been doing in the past I also think that when you're experiencing stuff on your own it's a lot more entertaining and you notice a lot of little things like for example when I'm going on a trip with my friends there may be so many little things that happen throughout the day that I completely Miss because I'm with someone else and when I'm alone I am noticing every single thing around me I'm really analyzing situations after they happen say I had an interaction with a stranger maybe after that I'm going to think about it for a little bit longer and maybe what I said what they said and you really just reflect on a lot of situations I also think that it allows you to have a deeper understanding of your own feelings and you just kind of learn to like self sooe which sounds kind of funny but like if you're feeling mad if you're feeling angry if you're feeling sad you can kind of figure your way through the emotion when you're by yourself and just be like why am I feeling like this what made me feel like this why am I triggered and it's honestly a blessing in disguise to have to spend a lot of time alone because you will develop all those like skills and all those important like stepping stones without even meaning to I also think that spending time alone helps you a lot when you have decisions or you just don't know exactly what your path is I feel like when you're spending a lot of time with other people you can be swayed by other people's opinions other people's thoughts other people's advice whatever it may be but when you're alone you are like your truest form you know exactly what you want what you don't want you can think about your pros and cons if you have any bad situations you can really analyze the situation and you are not distracted you are not being swayed and you can fully just have your own opinion without being influenced by anyone else's another reason why spending time alone is so important to me is because it gives me time to relax and recharge and get my creative juices flowing like especially for the type of job that I have and if you're a creative person I feel like it's really hard to be around people all the time and even have ideas like I swear I need to be alone I need to think and honestly I think I get my best ideas when I'm driving in the car because all I have to do is think for like 40 minutes and I get my most creative ideas at that time because I have again nobody else's words coming in my ears nobody else's opinions or anything and you can also spend time doing activities that you enjoy by yourself like reading a book taking a bath maybe going in the sauna going to the gym like you can really just focus on yourself and I think going into the summer obviously you want to spend time with other people and you want to have a party summer but from my experience and this has happened to me many times in the Summers I would go out every single weekend and by the end of summer like when August hits I am a freaking wreck because I'm like girl slow down you did not even take a minute to breathe for yourself you did not spend time with yourself you did not relax you did not figure out what you liked and what you don't like and I just feel so overwhelmed and drained by the end of it so I think the fact that I'm uploading this I think early June or late may this summer you can go into it maybe having this podcast in mind and just reminding yourself to spend time alone maybe to try new hobbies new activities and just really nail down what you as a person like to do without anyone else another reason why I think spending time alone is super important and something that I've seen in myself just develop is my Independence and self-reliance I think when I was younger I used to spend so much time with other people that I would just switch my brain off honestly like if we were going on a trip or we were taking the bus or we were booking Ubers I would never ever be in charge honestly I wouldn't I would just go along with the team do what they told me to do honestly my dad would hold my phone he would hold my passport even I'd go to parties and my boyfriend would hold my phone I honestly had like no responsibilities and ever since spending more time alone I realized that I need to look at my surroundings I need to maybe check the time check the buses check the schedule check where I want to go check what times things open at check what times things close at am I walking in the right area do I have the right directions Etc I feel like I really have become a lot more self-reliant and I know that I can count on myself now because time after time it's proven to myself that I can do things alone and you kind of diminish a lot of fears like for example maybe before I used to be scared of driving alone far distances or I was scared of driving in the dark and now I know that I can do it so I've overcome those fears and not only that but I've become a lot more confident I know that I can handle being on my own I know that I enjoy my own company so anyone else that comes to disturb my peace is not welcomed because I know that first and foremost I have myself I have my own back and I like myself as a friend so overall I think spending time alone has helped me a lot with my sense of self I think that I really know what qualities I have what my morals are and I feel like I spend a lot of time almost talking to myself and say after a situation happens with I'm when I'm with other people I can go home spend time alone and reflect on that situation see how that aligns with my values see if I agree with what happened have that time to recoup regenerate make myself feel good again and just truly focus on myself with no distractions and nobody getting in the way of that honestly the times that I have spent alone have been the times where I've probably been my most fit my most healthy my most on the work grind and I've just been super productive I feel like sometimes when I steer a little bit too into the social bubble I get distracted and I I don't focus on what I have to do and again maybe if you're in a social era you're in a little summer Carefree time then that's okay but if you are self-employed or you have a job that goes all year round or you have a job that requires you to be on your toes and to take things into your own hands and maybe take care of your health or take care of your diet or whatever it may be I feel like it's really important to know that you can rely on yourself and that you can spend time with yourself I also think that spending time alone is something that you can become better at like when you first start doing it you may feel kind of awkward or bored but the more you do it the more you start to enjoy it also another point that I feel like I've said before but when you are spending time alone you can truly have your own emotion and sit with it like a lot of times you may feel really excited about a situation and maybe you're in a group of people where the other people are bringing the mood down and they're like super unexcited and you kind of have to tone down down your excitement to make them feel comfortable which you shouldn't have to do but sometimes that's the case whereas when you're by yourself you can feel that emotion that you're at 100% or maybe you go to a restaurant and you are obsessed with the food and like the person you're with hates the food and then it kind of taints your image of it because you're just like okay well it's kind of hard to enjoy it when you're complaining over there so situations like that I feel like when you're by yourself you can enjoy the situation at whatever emotion you have 100% and no one else can bring your mood down change the vibe maybe change how you're feeling or make you feel like you shouldn't be as excited or as happy as you are so anyways I want to go into talking about a whole bunch of ways that I think that you can spend time alone this summer starting by how you can spend time alone in your own house we're going to kind of go through this in a list but you guys can refer to this episode whenever you want whenever you want ideas on what to do or you're bored and I'm going to tell you guys some of my personal stories going through these ideas and tell you times that I've done these things and how I've made them really good so the first one is to cook or to bake a Pinterest recipe while listening to music you could be making the Gigi Hadid pasta with a glass of wine maybe listening to Italian music just romanticizing your life and feeling like you're in Italy or you could be making the cultural food and like listening to that kind of music in the background like maybe you're having a Mexico taco night and you're listening to Mexico fiesta music in the back that would get you in a good mood you don't need anybody else to be there you will feel excited and all the food that you make is going to be just for you I mean if you're feeling generous you can give it to someone else but you'll have it for yourself and nobody can judge you for how the food turns out okay if it's good it's good you get to enjoy it and if it's bad well nobody can give you a [ __ ] for that so there's that there's so many recipes online and especially if you're baking you can make it so cute the next one is to work out but the first option is to work out with really loud music I love running if you have like a treadmill at home or something I love listening to Super fast-paced music that's like really loud and intense and it's almost like rap music and I feel like you wouldn't expect that from me like maybe You' think it'd be like some indie Queen but like I will throw on the Don Oliver Travis Scott Playboy cardi trippy red like the most opposite music to me probably but I will jam out to that or you could go the complete opposite way and I'm going to take Trinity's idea she's a friend of mine but she always talks about doing candle lip Pilates and she'll dim all the lights put some candles on do some Pilates or yoga some light stretches and like just really get into that winding down mood before you go to bed you could even get some incense going you you can have a humidifier you can have LED lights you can have some spray scents or air mist you can have some magnesium spray like just really make it a moment and that's the type of activity that you do not want to have with other people like you want to do that alone and you want to enjoy that alone and then you're going to have the best sleep of your life so I think that's a great idea the next one is to watch a new show now let me tell you guys I am currently watching selling Sunset which is kind of like like why am I watching that you know there's so many good shows on the internet and I'm choosing to watch a reality TV show which is is you know questionable but honestly I do like it it's kind of funny it's entertaining and it's mindless which is my favorite type of TV show to watch because I'll just throw it on and I'll start coloring I'll start painting whatever it may be if you're good at crocheting or knitting I think that's a great activity as well just something where you can kind of multitask and like do a creative task while having a show playing I also am obsessed with the Kardashians which is kind of ridiculous but as you can tell I really like shows that I don't have to put much effort in some of my other favorite shows for the record is Gossip girl I love want Tre Hill Euphoria is definitely my favorite show ever I heard Bridgerton is really good I heard new girl is really good I Love How I Met Your Mother honestly I don't even know what shows I've watched at this point but there's so many shows that you can watch and there's so many great ones on Netflix the next idea is to clean your home or to clean a room in your home but with super loud music I love playing music on my TV and just jamming out having a literal dance party and I asked you guys on Instagram as well to give me some suggestions for what you guys do alone so that I would have some more ideas and almost all of you guys said that you like like to dance on your own which I absolutely love that because I'll literally do the same thing and so I think if you play really loud music and you just really get in the cleaning Zone you could spend a whole day doing that by yourself having the time of your life honestly and I think a suggestion that you can do is maybe listen to a new album or listen to a new playlist that will kind of get you out of the routine of listening to your own music and maybe you could try out a new genre the next few ideas involve a lot of writing and the first one could be that you can Journal like I said earlier I love journaling I love going on Pinterest and looking different prompts also if you're feeling it you could definitely get the self-reflection pack from we're not really strangers if you're unfamiliar with what that is basically we're not really strangers is a brand that does a lot of question games and you can get a self-reflection pack and they'll give you a journal a pen and then you go through the cards asking yourself the different questions and just reflecting on them and writing them all out and you can spend so much time doing that you can even write a letter to your future self which I think is so cute I've definitely done this in the past and it's so rewarding reading it like a year later because things change so quickly and it's so wholesome to see how you were feeling at a certain time in your life another idea that I got from a lot of you guys is that you like to rearrange your room or rearrange decoring your house which honestly I haven't done in my new apartment so I kind of feel like I should do that but I don't even know what I would want to change at this point honestly I'm kind of lazy and I haven't done it but if you have the option to do that I would say do it it takes some time and it'll make you feel even better going into the next like a week or the next few days after that the other thing I think you should do that I specifically love doing and I I feel like it's a very YouTuber thing to do but it's a very big trend on YouTube to do a 24-hour glowup challenge or just a glow up in general and I feel like if you're not doing YouTube I mean maybe you're going to go get your nails done maybe you'll get your toes done maybe you'll do a face mask but try doing every single possible Beauty treatment you can in like 24 hours or in the next like 2 days and first of all it's so fun it's a lot of things you got to do so you're going to be very busy and it's just fun to treat yourself and to make yourself feel good and to put effort into your appearance so my favorite things that I love to do at home to have a little mini glow up is to paint my nails to do my toes I love to take the everything shower where I have shampoo conditioner hair masks I exfoliate I shave my legs I will self tan after I'll put baby oil and lotion on I will do a face mask a nose strip a teeth whitening strip I will have a bath I will do a foot mask I'll do a hand mask like literally any of those things it is so fun you're going to feel amazing by the end of it the next thing that you can do is to make a physical mood board or a vision board I think a vision board is great to do it's it takes a long time it gets all your creative juices flowing it gets your Visions on paper and I always do one at the beginning of the year but something that I recently talked about in one of my previous YouTube videos is about making a mood board for the type of style you want to have and I think that that's super fun you can find all the pictures on Pinterest and then print them all out glue them on a piece of paper or on a poster board or a canvas another thing you can do when spending time alone this is like a really easy one but I just want to throw it in there is to drink a lot of water like if you're alone and you're bored go drink some water go drink some water as you're listening to this right now another thing that I love to do alone is to play some music and sing really loudly my friend actually sent a video into our group chat the other day and she was like damn I forgot how good it felt to just sing and to belt out and to like play even literally karaoke and she was saying that she put on a musical and she was just like jamming out to the words and honestly it is so fun especially if you're driving or if you want to go on a long drive I think listening to like music that you know all the words to and just singing at the top of your vocal cords I don't know what the word is it's just so fun and it makes me feel really great another thing that I love doing alone is online shopping and just filling up my cart with things that I want I also love to post content create content if you are alone this is the best time to do what you're good at do your job and if you've always wanted to start a YouTube channel or to start doing Tik Tok or to start posting on Instagram seriously spend that time alone to really create content and to use your creativity you can even make lists on your phone of ideas you want to do or even research a topic that you're interested in about another thing you can do for yourself and this kind of goes for the dating yourself one but making yourself a nice little cocktail or a mocktail I think it's such a cool skill to be able to know how to bartend or to make drinks on your own so you can definitely spend time doing that another idea is to try breathing exercises mirror work affirmations or meditation I think those are all activities that you kind of need to be alone to do anyways and if you are bored and you have that time definitely try out one of those things it will make you feel so much better so much more more relaxed and if you are into all that spirituality stuff it'll probably make you feel really at peace and centered and maybe if you're not even like spiritual but you're more religious I think praying just doing that on your own time while you're alone is the best time that you can do it at another one I want to throw in there is playing with your pets I feel like sometimes we can get used to our pets just being in the same proximity as us but if you are bored and you're spending time alone spend time with them and make them feel loved play with them maybe throw some toys at them you know maybe don't throw them out them but with them okay and then the last one I want to talk about is manifesting I'm definitely going to make an episode on how to manifest in the next upcoming ones but if you have time alone do some scripting or some visualizations just get your goals in check and start manifesting cuz that's something that I cannot do with anyone else and I need to dedicate time to it and when I was in the pandemic that was like when I was at my manifesting Peak and I'm sorry but I think that I manifested my career so honestly I know that it works you can research about it you can look at Tik Tok videos about it but definitely spend that time on your own you can even set up a manifestation journal and just know that every time you write in that journal it is because you're going to be manifesting so that is something you can do now we talked so much about doing all these things on your own but now I want to talk about some of the things that you can do outside of your home because I think that's even better than being at home honestly I am not really a homebody I love going out and if I don't have other people to do activities with you best bet I will be doing them on my own because I'm not staying home I love going to the gym I love going to restaurants to new cafes even just go shopping to go browsing window shopping maybe get a dessert on your own I literally am always out on my own and again I love going to the gym going on the treadmill or walking to different places I feel like when you're on the treadmill or something a great thing that you can do that that feels productive but you don't need to talk to anyone at the same time is to go on your phone and go through all your emails make a new playlist listen to new music maybe respond to some comments respond to your text just get everything that you need to do done and you do not have to talk to anyone and it feels productive so I love doing that I also am obsessed with getting like a Starbucks or a cute little drink um side note my favorite Starbucks drinks because I feel like I always get asked this is an iced latte with oat milk and two pumps of vanilla I also loved an Ice Vanilla Macha latte with vanilla sweet cream cold foam on top and I also love the pink Drink and I also love an iced chai with vanilla sweet cream cold foam but I love getting a drink and I love going to like a bookstore like chap or if you guys have a Barnes & Noble and just having your earphones in you can listen to a podcast you can listen to music and just looking through all the books looking through all the stationer that is honestly one of my favorite hobbies and I do not need anybody else to enjoy that you can also do the same thing and go thrifting which is great I think thrifting is one of those things that honestly I'm better at doing Al loan and same with just shopping in general I kind of hate when there's like someone else behind me that's like trailing behind me or I'm trailing behind them I just prefer to do it on my own another one as a I said earlier I love going to new coffee shops there's literally so many in cities and if you live in a city and you're fortunate to have that accessibility literally just search it up on your phone or search up on Tik Tok coffee shop recommendations and there's going to be so many and you can kind of even make it a little bucket list to go visit all the ones that you want to go to and I love doing my work at coffee shops if you have homework that's a great place to do it it makes you feel so productive and honestly I feel like sometimes I have like symptoms of ADHD or like add and I feel like being around around other people just makes me feel so much more in the zone so much more productive I do not get distracted and seeing other people work beside me almost motivates me to work and if you don't have work or homework to do but you have a computer I would say just go and you don't even need a computer you could do this with like a notebook but you can make list you can plan out your week ahead you can plan out your calendar you can even book beauty treatments you can do some research there's literally countless things that you can do to entertain yourself and get a cute little drink and a pastry another one that I love to do is to trying new restaurants and I actually love bringing my book and I'll just read or put some earphones on and just try this new food it's honestly not embarrassing at all to go Alan and nobody really cares if you are alone I feel like sometimes people can feel awkward about that but if you know that that's something that's a little bit of a challenge for you I would highly recommend making that a little goal for yourself sometime this week like just going out and eating on your own my favorite food to eat by myself is probably faux or sushi but I also have definitely gone to fancier restaurants on my own and it's slightly off awkward but if you're in the mood to fully commit to the date yourself mentality I think it would be kind of iconic to wear a really nice dress to really feel like you're going on a real date to take it seriously and to go to a nice restaurant and sit at the bar you can romanticize this and feel like you're super mysterious and maybe order a drink maybe order some food maybe talk to the bartender like honestly it's not awkward and you can even tell them that you're by yourself and you just wanted to go out on a little solo date and I'm sure everybody would just admire your confidence and no one would make you feel awkward about that they would say like damn look at her go and it's kind of a little confidence boost for yourself and it also tests your limits of how comfortable you can even be by yourself you can even do your makeup super nicely and that's actually an activity on its own I've been loving recently just really taking the time to do my makeup to do it in the sunlight and to really go all out for my appearance you can also get all ready and explore a new part of your city explore a new neighborhood and just walk around with confidence you know you're you're going to look so good you're going to feel good walking around and you're probably going to be a showstopper you're probably going to be attracting a lot of people on the streets but make sure you do this in a not so revealing outfit or maybe in a not so nighttime area just in case I mean there can be creepy people on the streets and sometimes too much attention in a public setting when you're on your own is not the vibe but you know if you're on your way to go somewhere and you're feeling yourself it's very much confidence boost okay another thing that I love to do on my own is biking I will bike all the way to the beach all the way to the park you can even bring some snacks and have a little shuer board a little picnic moment go to a Viewpoint you can just people watch in general I feel like that's super fun activity to do and you just notice so many more things when you're alone because you're not distracted by someone else's presence so take advantage of that and really observe other people the next idea is to go to a museum if you are fortunate enough to have a really nice museum in your area I would highly recommend going to that because art is one of those things that you do not need anyone else to appreciate and in fact you probably will appreciate it even more if you're by yourself you can wear a cute little outfit you can take some aesthetic photos when you're there and you can just really Vibe out with the art and sometimes they have those earphones where they kind of give you a backstory on the art and I feel like that's a great thing to listen to while you're alone anyway so you won't have any distractions another one is to go watch a movie on your own and my boyfriend recently did this and so did one of my friends and they both highly recommended the experience and honestly I kind of want to do that like I think it would be so fun to get some nice little sweatpants a little hoodies go get some popcorn and go watch a new movie I've really been wanting to watch the new Little Mermaid and honestly I heard that the Super Mario Bros movie was going to be really good so I actually kind of want to watch that and I really really really want to watch the new Barbie movie I don't even think it's out yet but I think it comes out in the summer so I'm actually way off but I cannot wait to watch that the next one is if you guys have a Aquatic Center I don't know if that's the right word or like a community center or maybe you pay for equinox or something using the steams and the sauna are so satisfying and honestly I did this the other day and I had a blast doing it I went to Equinox and I kind of just spent like the entire day there I went to the gym then I took a shower I went into the steam room I brought my book I went into the sauna I took my time doing my makeup I did a hair mask like I literally did this all in the Equinox Gym bathroom and I had a blast let me tell you I really did I used all the amenities and I felt so relaxed by the time I left and the last idea that I have for you going out in the public and spend time alone is to go on a walk in the forest if you're fortunate to have that take advantage of it because honestly I live in Vancouver Canada and the pine trees here the air quality here it is so freaking fresh and I don't take advantage of the fact that I'm beside trees all the time and I really just want to walk out in nature more because godamn could I use some pure oxygen really get in touch with nature you know especially living in a city like I I need to touch some grass and that is something that like I want to do on my own like I want to have a hippie moment where I'm just one with nature I'm not talking to anyone and I'm just like enjoying the outdoors oh one more sunbathing I love having a tanning moment if you have access to the beach or you have access to a backyard spend some time going outside and having a full tanning moment a full tanning date you can get some tanning lotion some sunscreen some snacks maybe you cut up a fruit maybe you make yourself a little cold drink you go out and listen to some music and you just enjoy the sun you feel the sun on your body and you're going to get a hell of a tan and especially going into summer you are going to look better than everybody else I'm telling you having a tan makes you feel so confident and if you can get one naturally while being protective of yourself that is going to make you feel really good now those were all my ideas about spending time alone and I lastly just wanted to talk about being your own best friend because after you do all these activities I hope that you're going to enjoy your company and that you're really going to like spending time alone it's kind of satisfying to know that you don't need anybody else to fill your cup and to make yourself feel good I mean obviously it's important to enjoy other people as well but I think it's just a good balance and if you're able to do both then you have the best of both worlds I also want to say that with being your own best friend I want you guys to remember to celebrate yourself I feel like a lot of times we think that celebrations come with other people with other groups and that's so not true if you have something that you're proud of yourself for like maybe you just did something that you had never done before or maybe your birthday's coming up or maybe you got a really good grade or maybe you got a promotion whatever it is don't wait around for other people to celebrate you because at the end of the day you only have yourself and I actually wanted to say that's something that I've learned this past year and I think that that's a it's it's bittersweet to know that throughout your entire life you're really going to have yourself at the end of the day yes you'll have friends but friends could come and go and obviously I'm a big advocate for long- lasting friends and I think most of my relationships are long lasting but as I go through my 20s I'm really realizing how friendships can be a lot less stable and it just depends what type of stage you're going on through life like maybe there's some friends that I met when I first moved to Vancouver and maybe one day I'm going to move to New York and I'll drift away from those friends and I'm going to make new friends and you know I think just throughout life there's going to be so many times where people come and go and at the end of the day you have yourself and if you have a rocky relationship with yourself or you don't know how to spend time alone it's going to be a very lonely life and it's going to be tough to get yourself out of low points or to celebrate your high point so I think it's so important to develop this relationship with yourself when I hit 500k subscribers on my YouTube I remember I walked to a little Bakery I bought myself a little cake I went to the park and I just thought about my experience leading up to that 500k and I just felt so happy and so proud of myself I had my little cake and it wasn't like a sad moment I wasn't like I wish there was people here I was just so content on my own and I think that's what we all need so that was just a little reminder for you guys if you have something to celebrate don't feel pressured to celebrate with other people and enjoy that time that you have with yourself the other thing I want to say is that I see this all the time and sometimes I'll post videos with my friends or I'll give ideas and I'll say like oh this is so fun to do with other people or I'll see Tik Tok trends go on and then the comment section is full of people going well this would be fun but if only I had friends oh well this would be fun but I don't have anyone to do it with again you do not need other people to do these things with you can do them all alone and it's not embarrassing it's not weird it's not awkward even the people that you think have the most amount of friends spend time alone and maybe the difference is that they are comfortable with spending time alone and again if you need validation from someone I'm here to tell you you do not need anyone you can go out and live these super cool experiences on your own and in fact if you are always waiting for someone else to pull you out of your little cave and to say come on let's do this really fun thing or come on let's do this together you are never going to get anywhere okay you need to do those things on your own and not waste your days because I saw a quote that said the way that you spend your days is the way that you spend your life so if every day you are sad about being alone or you are miserable wanting people to ask you to hang out or wanting people to do stuff with you are going to live a very lonely and unfulfilled life so the sooner that you are able to spend time alone enjoy time alone work on your self-awareness your intrapersonal skills which I think is like how you can analyze your feelings or how you can articulate your thoughts the other thing I wanted to say about treating yourself like a best friend is to practice self-compassion and I think I've talked about this idea in a lot of other episodes but I think it's really important to treat yourself with kindness and compassion because again when you are alone and you are in your head sometimes it can be really easy to tear yourself apart or to criticize yourself but you have to remember to treat yourself like a friend and realistically you wouldn't hopefully bring down your friend or criticize them or tell them they look bad you would hype them up and if they did feel insecure or they did feel bad about themselves you would definitely just be like girl don't worry about it like this is what I would do here's my advice like you look great you're amazing like you can do it I'm proud of you so I think it's important to treat yourself like that as well and just have nurturing selft talk positive selft talk and just work on treating yourself as best as you can the last thing I want to say about spending time alone is that through me doing this I feel like I've gotten so much more in tune with my intuition and I feel really centered and grounded when I spend time alone because I know exactly what I want exactly what I don't want and when I spend time with other people after that I can tell when something inside of me is giving me a warning sign that like this isn't right for you or this is right for you this makes you feel better this makes you laugh you you leave feeling content or this feels horrible I feel like I'm in fight or flight I feel bad about myself I feel negative I feel dragged down Etc spending time alone really gets you in touch with your goals what your true passion is what your true purposes and it lets you also practice self validation so you can validate your own feelings or validate your your own Worth or affirm your own values and yeah I overall just think that it's such a useful skill and I probably wouldn't be where I am if I hadn't spent so much time alone I think it really shaped me into who I am this past year and I honestly think that I've matured so much like I feel like I'm so much more aware and I when I think of myself when I lived at home honestly I'm like what was I even doing I feel like my brain was just a little mush and ever since I've spent more time alone I just feel so much more in tune with who I'm trying to be so anyways that's the end of today's episode I feel like I've been rambling for so long now but I hope you got some ideas and some inspiration for ways that you can spend alone and maybe even some incentive to spend time alone or maybe this was just the little push that you needed to have that solo date and to date yourself I want you guys to truly remember that you don't need anyone else and if people around you are bringing you down or making you feel bad and you are scared to almost cut them off because you don't want to spend time alone just know that it's possible and that you can and that even if you are in tox of toxic friendships or toxic relationships it's actually more worth to cut those off and to work on that relationship with yourself because once you do you won't need those other people and you won't have to hold on to those toxic friendships or toxic relationships and you'll be able to experience life so much more to its fullest extent when you can be with yourself be with your own thoughts and enjoy your own company I hope you enjoyed today's episode if you did make sure to give me some feedback on any platform possible and yeah I love you guys give me some recommendations for what you want to see on the upcoming episodes and I love you so much I really challenge you this week to practice spending time alone and to take yourself on a date do the most be the most okay you only have one life so be extra if you want to you got it I believe in you I'm your internet best friend and I will talk to you