Transcript for:
Changing Life Paradigms in Seven Steps

welcome to self up for life my name is paul and in this video i'm going to reveal seven ways to help you change a paradigm so seven ways that you can use today to make a paradigm shift in your life so what is a paradigm well it's a term that bob proctor uses a lot and one of his definitions i really like is it's a group of habits that are programmed in your subconscious mind that control your behavior a paradigm can also be thought of as a series of events that have happened in your life and the meaning that you give to those events i've heard other people refer to paradigms as set points so it's this idea that we have a kind of set level that we can achieve in certain areas of life so for example financial level so once we go beyond a certain financial level or level of income we seem to unconsciously sabotage ourselves and go back to what that normal level is it happens in relationships all the time you meet someone really special and then you start to sabotage that relationship or you reach a certain level of health and then you do lots of things to improve your health maybe to lose weight you get to a certain level and then you seem to unconsciously come back to that set point so this set point or paradigm is familiar think of it a bit like a central heating system if you live in europe or in the colder parts of the world you probably have central heating and it's set on a thermostat and once the temperature gets too warm it turns it off the temperature gets too cold it turns it on so it's always trying to keep it to this same temperature level so in a way this is what we do in our lives now we all have a number of different paradigms for different areas of life so we might have a paradigm in relation to work and career and money might have another paradigm for relationships maybe another one for health now there are a few things that influence the paradigm that you currently have that hold it in place these include your sense of identity so your sense of identity a sense of who you are in that paradigm in that area of life so your sense of identity is typically defined by an i am statement so let me give you some examples if you're trying to lose weight but you have a sense of identity that i am a fat greedy person then that's going to make it harder to lose weight if you have the identity and i hear this one a lot i am an anxious person now if your paradigm is to become more calm and relaxed but you have an identity of i am an anxious person that's going to be quite hard to do instead you want to have an identity that's more around i am a calm and relaxed person or i am a successful person or i am a person that is good with money so your sense of identity your sense of who you are drives your beliefs and your behaviors so that's the first thing you really want to change another component to your current paradigm is your beliefs so let's say you're trying to make more money but you have a belief that making money is hard or making money requires a lot of effort so that belief is going to hold your existing paradigm around money in place if you have another paradigm maybe you want to attract the perfect person into your life a wonderful beautiful romantic loving relationship and you have this belief that dating is difficult or all the best people are taken then it's going to be very hard to change that paradigm in your life at a deeper level you might have beliefs around i'm not good enough or i'm not worthy enough and that can hold you back from taking the steps and taking the action towards success in whatever you want to achieve then there's the consistent thoughts you have around that area of life or that paradigm and those consistent thoughts whether they're positive or negative is going to influence the actions you take or you don't take and whether those actions are positive or negative and then that's going to develop into habits again either positive habits that move you to a new paradigm or negative habits that hold you in place then that's how you see the world so your mental view or your mental image of the world is your image of the world something along the lines of everyone is out to get me i can't trust anyone or is it more around the idea that if i put in the right effort and i do the right things that anyone can be successful and other people and the world will support me and then is your self-image so this is like the lens that you see yourself through and also the lens that you see the world through so changing your self-image can help change your paradigm now it's impossible to live your life without having paradigms you need a paradigm to be able to learn to drive a car and then master it so you can have a conversation while driving you need paradigms to be able to master a sports he'd have to think about every movement the whole time or to play the piano master the piano you know always amazes me when you see a concert pianist that's playing a concerto entirely from memory that is a paradigm other paradigms include staying in bed and hitting the snooze button whilst thinking and worrying about what you need to do during the day as opposed to getting up and just getting on with it or being motivated or not being motivated or focusing on what you want to happen in your life versus focusing on what you don't want these are all examples of paradigms so to recap we have multiple paradigms some that we're very happy with and some that we would like to change and often the ones we really want to change are in the main three areas of life which is career and money relationships and our health so how are paradigms created well it's good to know this because this will give you some clues to changing them so they come from habits that we gain as we grow up and these habits either serve us or they don't serve us and these come from what people told you so this could be parents teachers friends other people in authority even the lyrics from music can have an influence especially when you hear these things before the age of eight and the reason for that is before the age of eight you don't have that part of the mind that tends to criticize and evaluate incoming information especially from other people just tends to accept whatever it hears and then when we get older we have the ability to filter information and challenge it in some way so things that you hear before the age of eight can have a real profound effect on your belief system and your paradigm also life experiences both the good ones and the bad ones but more importantly the meaning that you give to them and then there's other people that you hang around with what are they like the kind of group of people that you grow up with that can have an influence on your paradigms as well your level of education or lack of education can have an influence also repetition thinking the same thing doing the same thing forming the same habits that will influence your paradigm over time and also core beliefs you have around life so core beliefs around your sense of enoughness your sense of self worth sense of safety sense of control and your beliefs around connecting with others and that kind of thing so that can have an influence as well also to understand more about how paradigms are created it's important to know a little bit about the differences between the conscious mind and the subconscious mind so the conscious mind is your ability to think your ability to make decisions and your ability to solve problems and also your ability to act in the moment conversely your subconscious mind has no ability to think and it accepts most information that's coming in it also stores and records consistent decisions actions and habits and it's your subconscious mind that gives you that muscle memory that allows you to be able to drive a car play a sport or play a musical instrument without thinking about the precise things that you need to do at any one time and it's your subconscious mind that creates your habits whether they're good habits or bad habits so to change your paradigm to make a paradigm shift involves changing your sense of who you are your sense of identity in that area of life then working on changing beliefs around the area then changing your actions so doing different actions making different decisions and to do that you often need to change the way you think and feel about that as well so i'm now going to cover seven ways to change a paradigm so seven ways to make a paradigm shift in your life now these seven ways i have put them in a certain order so they are like a step-by-step process to changing a paradigm so you might want to use all seven of them or you might choose to just work on two or three of them for now and then add the others later both of those are absolutely fine so the first way or the first step is to identify the negative paradigm now you probably already have an idea of what that is but really identify that precisely and then work out what the opposite positive paradigm would be so what kind of paradigm shift do you want in your life perhaps it's in the main areas of life that i talked about earlier a major change in your career and money situation or in your health or in your relationships or perhaps it's more at a deeper level so changing something about yourself that's going to then allow you to improve things in maybe all of those different areas in life so let me give you some examples of those so maybe it's moving towards finding solutions internally rather than looking for the solutions outside i see this one a lot with people who have health challenges they're always looking for the specialist outside that's going to help them and they travel these different people but often the solution can be found by looking within you just need to believe that that is possible so that would be a paradigm shift in that area perhaps it's moving to living in the present rather than regretting the past or worrying about the future perhaps it's moving from drifting to living with intention perhaps it's moving from focusing on lack to focusing on gratitude so focusing what you do have perhaps is moving from being a lazy person to a person that takes massive action perhaps it's moving from being a self-obsessed person that always thinks and talks about himself to someone that's more focused on other people or perhaps it's moving from focusing on what you don't want in life to focusing on what you do want so these are deeper level paradigm shifts that you might like to consider making that will influence all your external areas in life but also make you a happier more fulfilled calmer and more relaxed person in the process so the second way or the second step is to create a new sense of identity statement so i've touched on this a little bit already all behavior all our actions and all our habits stem from our sense of identity our sense of who you are so here are some examples of some really good positive identity statements so first one is i am a motivated person that gets things done or i am a successful person and i'm great at what i do or for health i am a healthy person that looks after my body and my mind now when you come up with these new identity statements what's really important is to actually notice the feelings behind the words so notice the feeling behind say the word motivated or successful or confident or healthy because it's the feelings behind the words that your subconscious mind picks up on and that's what gives you that feeling of a different identity and that's what you're really looking for it's not so much the words it's the feeling behind the words and that feeling that you are a different person in some way also get a sense of how your body feels with that new sense of identity and then look out for any resistance that resistance could be a feeling some kind of negative feeling could be some negative self-talk something like that some way of challenging that new identity and if that's the case you might need to change it around a little bit to make it something that doesn't have any resistance so the third way or the third step is to identify new beliefs so you want to look at your new identity statement and come up with new supporting empowering beliefs a good way to do this is to write down all your old limiting beliefs because they're usually easier to identify and write down and then you want to find the opposites of those so they'll be your new positive empowering beliefs so here are some examples of some positive beliefs that you could use so for career it could be i find it easy to come across really well at interviews or i am naturally good with money for health it could be every day and every way my health is improving i find it easy to make the right food choices for relationships and dating it could be i am natural and myself on dates or dating is fun those kind of things so as i say if you look at the negative beliefs which are usually very easy to find and then just turn them around to the opposite you should be able to find some nice positive beliefs that will support that new identity statement so number four is creative visualization so your subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between a real experience or something that's happened in life and one that you vividly imagine the reason for that is the same circuits in your brain and your body the same nervous system is used for both so if you want to change your paradigm if you can start imagining that new paradigm then that can really help make that paradigm shift because your body is starting to believe that new paradigm already exists the subconscious mind will start to believe that that paradigm is natural and real and true for you now when you're visualizing it's important to use all your senses so not just imagining what you can see bringing what you can hear as well so this could be the voices of other people the voices of you talking your own positive internal dialogue that counts as sound as well also feelings so what you're feeling internally and maybe some external sensations and feelings as well now i've done a couple of other videos on creative visualization so i'll link to those in the description below so the fifth way to change your paradigm is using affirmations now my take on affirmations is that our brain is already saying affirmations to us anyway it's just that they're typically negative so the self-talk we're hearing is saying things like i'm stupid well that's an affirmation or i always make mistakes or i always feel anxious so we're saying affirmations anyway the negative ones so that means that if we say positive ones then they have to work because the negative ones are already working in our life so that's my take on affirmations so great affirmations can be things like i have enough money i have enough friends i have enough connections i have enough knowledge things like that or i am good enough i am smart enough or i am intelligent enough so anything that ends with the word enough can really help boost your sense of self-esteem and self-confidence affirmations that start with i am good at can be really helpful as well so some examples could be i am good at making money i am good at making connections i'm good at making friends i'm good at finding a partner so they're really good as well now if when you're repeating affirmations a voice in the back of your head says no that's not true that's a sign of resistance you want to watch out for that if that happens then a good thing to do is to use i want to statements so i want to find a new career that's fulfilling and pays well or i want to become fit and healthy and if that seems believable that's great stick with that for a while and then you can progress to i can so i can feel fit and healthy i can find a wonderful new career that's fulfilling and pays well here is a great affirmation for making more money this one comes direct from bob proctor i'm not going to change it in any way this is exactly what he says i am so happy and grateful now that money comes to me in increasing quantities through multiple sources on a continuous basis now if you've got any issues around making money that covers everything really it covers making more money that you're making in different ways multiple sources and it's continuing so it's happening all the time so that's a really really lovely one and what he recommends is saying that a thousand times a day now that's probably gonna be quite hard to do but if you can do that for 90 days then he guarantees and i would say the same thing as well you're going to have a profound change because you're really reprogramming that subconscious mind so with any kind of affirmations repetition is super important and just get into a habit of just repeating them over and over again like parrot fashion it really does work and your unconscious mind doesn't mind you doing that it's just giving you that new positive reinforcement so the sixth way to make a paradigm shift in your life is by developing faith so what is faith faith is taking action when you don't believe that something is possible so a lot of people say that if you don't believe it's possible then it won't happen but the good news is if you can develop faith then you can do that because it seems like belief is really the brain and the mind at work faith comes more from the heart so faith is taking action it's trusting in the process maybe trusting in a mentor that if you follow what they do even if you don't believe it's possible that you will get the results and it can be trusting in a higher power if you believe in that so that can be really powerful as well that you just put that out to a higher power that's going to guide you even if you don't believe something is possible now the problem with faith is that the analytical brain will often get in the way because the analytical brain is strategizing and working out exactly how something is going to happen and the idea of just trusting the process of trusting a higher power is probably not going to go down well with that analytical almost egotistical part of your brain but what you really want to do in this situation is just focus on the what focus on what you want and forget the how so just let the higher power or the process give you the how and just be open to what those house might be even if they're not quite what you're expecting and just focus on the what so the seventh and last way to change a paradigm is to get out of your comfort zone if you think about it your comfort zone is comfortable for a reason and it's what keeps us at a certain level in our life so if we want to change a paradigm we need to do some things that feel a bit uncomfortable now what is it that feels uncomfortable is usually fear so it's either some kind of fear of the unknown or it's some kind of fear of rejection but it's some kind of uncomfortable fear so the solution to that is to take action in spite of the fear so to take action anyway and as susan jeffers says feel the fear and do it anyway brilliant book to read by the way if you haven't read that book i highly recommend it look at people who have achieved what you want to achieve look at people who are at the paradigm that you want to be and notice what those people are doing and start doing what they're doing even if it feels uncomfortable because success is predictable and success is repeatable so if you start to do the things other people are doing even when they feel uncomfortable to you remembering that they also felt uncomfortable to them when they did them as well then that's going to help you change your paradigm so if you do the things that other people are not prepared to do the things that other people won't do then you're going to get the change in your life and the paradigm shift that other people won't get so now you know what a paradigm is you know how they were created in the first place and you now have seven specific ways that you can use to change a paradigm in your life so if you found this video useful do give it a like give it a thumbs up and do leave a comment below i'd love to hear what you think if you have any questions leave those below as well and i'll do my best to answer them if you haven't already subscribe to the self help for life youtube channel then please do and also click the bell notification that way you'll always be notified whenever i release future videos also check out my website that's selfhelpforlife.com on there you will find the written versions to many of these videos also a link to my podcast and my social media channels as well so i'd like to thank you for taking the time to watch this video and i look forward to seeing you in the next video bye for now you