Lecture Notes: Understanding Love and Marriage in Islam

Introduction

• Today's session is a continuation of the previous week's discussion on Hadith 31, focusing on marriage and love.
• The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) stated there is nothing like marriage for those who love each other.
• Importance of understanding love in relation to the love for Allah.

Key Differences Between Love Before and After Marriage

• Before Marriage:

  • Limited knowledge about the other person.
  • Often based on ideals and fantasies.
  • Pretense of showing the best self to impress the other.
  • Love is often superficial, based on appearance and ideals.

• After Marriage:

  • Reality sets in; true personalities are revealed.
  • No more pretense; daily life pressures test the relationship.
  • Love grows with shared experiences, commitments, and mutual respect.

The Concept of Unrealistic Love and Expectations

• Love in movies and novels is often a fantasy, not reality.
• Unrealistic expectations can lead to dissatisfaction and divorce.
• Love must be grounded in reality, with a focus on Islamic principles.

Love as a Disease

• Excessive, unrestrained love can become a disease (Ishq), leading to spiritual and physical sickness.
• Soulmate Concept:
  • Misguided belief that one person can fulfill all needs.
  • Only Allah can fulfill the void in the heart.
  • Loving Allah should be the primary focus.

Managing and Overcoming Excessive Love

• Increasing Love for Allah:
  • Worship, Quran reading, Du'a, and company of pious people.
• Weakening Unhealthy Attachments:
  • Marry the person if they are suitable, or distance if not.
  • Keep busy with useful work, avoid haram, and lower gaze.

Forbidden Attractions

• Love or attraction to someone you cannot marry is sinful.
• Includes attraction to a married person or same-sex relationships.
• Solution:
  • Strengthen faith and distance from the object of attraction.

Reality of Marriages Based on Islam and Kindness

• Not all marriages are built or sustained by romantic love.
• Kindness, respect, and Islamic values are essential.

Questions and Answers

• Marriage Compatibility:

  • Investigate character and religious commitment.
  • Use Salah and Du'a as guidance.

• Preparing for Marriage:

  • Understand responsibilities and rights through Islamic teachings.
  • Seek knowledge and practice good character.

• Handling Unrealistic Expectations:

  • Educate children and protect them from media influences.

Conclusion

• Understanding that true love within marriage grows with time and shared experiences.
• The ultimate love and fulfillment come from Allah, not from humans.