Relational Skills in Real Life: Skill Five - Family Bonds and Group Bonds

Introduction

• Speaker: Chris Cory, President of Thrive Today
• Focus: Skill Five - Family Bonds/Group Bonds
  • Referred to as 'community bonds'
• Review of the previous topic: two-way bonds

Key Concepts

Two-way Bonds (Skill Four Recap)

• Joy starts with bonding with one other person.
• Building security and relational skills with one person.
• Noticing the third face as a group dynamic matures.

Transition to Group Bonds

• Growth from bonding with one person to bonding with a group (or third face).
• Tracks of growth:
  • Tracks 1, 2, 3: Focus on bonds with one other person.
  • True Identity Track/Flex Track: Growth within triads (three-way bonds).

Significance of Family Bonds

• Family bonds are crucial for correcting issues within two-way bonds.
• Introducing a third face can neutralize conflicts.
  • Example: Matthew 18 - bringing others into a ruptured relationship.
• Role of therapists, counselors, pastors as 'third faces'.
• Security with one face leads to freedom to bond with others.

Psychological and Developmental Aspects

• Insecurity and Fear: Feeling threatened by the third face.
  • Example: School cliques - fear of not having enough resources or attention.
  • Insecure attachments lead to threat perception.
• Community Growth: Expanding capacity and joy by integrating new faces into a community.
  • Small groups or spiritual families foster a sense of belonging.
  • Example: Redemptive community learning the life model.

Developmental Stages and Group Identity

• From individual focus (me) to group identity (we).
  • Happens around 13 years old (e.g., children valuing peer groups).
  • Risks of bullying during this transitional phase.
• Importance of group identity in scripture:
  • New Testament: Familial terms (e.g., Timothy as 'son').
  • Old Testament: Tribal identity.

Healing and Growth

• Community bonds are essential for healing journeys and growing capacity.
• Challenges of isolation in personal healing experiences.
• Offset of negative home environments through community bonds.
  • Example: Finding family-like relationships in friends' homes.

Practical Applications

• Building joy and relational skills in groups.
• Opportunities for bonding through small groups and spiritual families.
• Thrive Trainings and resources for developing community bonds.

Conclusion

• Encouragement to integrate third faces and community bonds for relational and personal growth.
• Further resources: thoday.org, skill five training materials, My Transforming Fellowship book.