8 Habits to Command Respect - Lessons from Tommy Shelby

Introduction

• Tommy Shelby from Peaky Blinders: Quiet, introverted, yet charismatic.
• Eight habits to command more respect based on Tommy's character.
• Though from a scripted show, the psychology applies in real life.

Habit 1: Slow, Relaxed Movements

• Tommy often moves slowly and is almost never in a rush.
• Slow movements show you feel above feeling intimidated or rushed.
• Example: Tommy moves slowly even when facing stress, indicating confidence.

Habit 2: Comfortable Eye Contact

• Tommy holds eye contact even during conflicts.
  • Highlights confidence and non-intimidation.
• Important note: Holding eye contact always can escalate tension.
  • Hold eye contact to show confidence.
  • Look down to de-escalate tension.
  • Break to the side for neutral engagement.

Habit 3: Being Non-Reactive

• Tommy projects confidence by not reacting to hostility.
• Non-reactivity shows confidence in handling situations.
• Extreme example: Staying calm when a gun is pointed at him.
• Goal: Cultivate genuine internal confidence, not fake calmness.

Habit 4: Command Attention in Large Groups

• Scale up hand gestures when speaking to larger audiences.
• Use larger movements to engage and command respect from groups.
• Example: Tommy gives speeches with noticeable hand gestures.

Habit 5: Speaking with Conviction

• Tommy uses words that show conviction (e.g., “I will” instead of “I hope to”).
• Use downward inflection to show conviction in tone.
  • Upward inflection can make statements sound unsure.
  • Example: Compare Tommy's tone to characters who use upward inflection.

Habit 6: Slow Speaking Cadence and Pausing

• Tommy speaks slowly and uses pauses to hold attention.
• Pauses can pull people in, especially when used strategically.
• Continue slow cadence to prevent interruptions.

Habit 7: Quiet Words Carry Weight

• Tommy doesn’t shout; his quiet words have impact.
• He understands what people want and fear, which gives his words power.
• Example: Using personal knowledge to project confidence and control.

Habit 8: Carrot-Stick Motivation

• Tommy uses a mix of rewards and consequences to maintain control.
• In practice: Apply carrot-and-stick thinking in professional settings.
  • Example: Approach requests for a raise with documented value and alternative offers.

Building Genuine Confidence

• Cultivating confidence is about building genuine internal assurance.
• Confidence can be built quickly with the right strategies.
• Example: Programs like Charisma University can accelerate confidence and charisma development.