how to get a woman obsessed with you here we go i'll be honest with you this video really borders on the dark side of game and for that reason i thought long and hard about not putting it out i decided to put it out but i'm gonna give you two warnings going in warning number one please use these techniques for good and not for evil alright these are very powerful techniques and they can be used to create very powerful long-lasting positive relationships or they can be used to create some very toxic situations i suggest you do the former rather than the latter the second kind of warning i'm going to give you is be careful what you wish for once you get a woman obsessed with you you're kind of responsible for her in some ways and bad things can happen if you treat her badly once you get her obsessed etc it's no secret that um hell hath no fury like a woman scoring if you know what i mean so um be careful what you wish for do not use these techniques in a situation where you actually don't want the girl obsessed with you do not use this trifling all right so that said you've been warned [Music] to start this video it's important that we understand what love or obsession actually are because if you don't understand that all the techniques in the world all the techniques i'm going to teach you aren't going to be very helpful to you so you need to understand what you're going for and you understand kind of the mechanisms the psychological phenomena at play so i'm going to give you some examples some anecdotes of love and obsession to help kind of clarify that for you and then i'll get into the specific techniques of things you can do directly to implement these types of strategies the first one i give you is very anecdotal it's actually a quote i heard a long time ago which is that falling in love is not something someone does to you it's something you do to yourself when they're not around think about that okay falling in love is something you do to yourself when they're not around or flipping it around is something a girl does to herself when you're not around so what does this mean it means that it's something internal going on in the girl's mind and it also means there has to be some distance there has to be some space or some absence to create it so that's the first thing i want to kind of give to as an example second thing i want to give to as an example is comes from studies of gambling if you have gambling machines that pay off all the time they actually would be boring right if like they were losing and paid off all the time it'd be obvious and boring even if they were winning you wouldn't be you'd want to play them for profit but you wouldn't wouldn't actually be obsessed to it wouldn't be addictive the thing that makes gambling machines addictive is the variable payouts the fact that you don't know when you're going to be rewarded you don't know when you're going to be punished and so it becomes very addictive where you pull that lever and you don't know and there's that anticipation anticipation is part of what can create an addiction that's the next concept i want you to understand right that variable payouts create obsession create addiction create trained or learned behavior next example i want to tell you is imagine you're in school and you had two different professors one professor gives everyone an a all the time the other professor never gives good grades and you have to work super super hard but the first professor if he gave you an a gave you the nicest thing he can give you in terms of your academic future and your gpa and all that kind of stuff you just shrug and move on with this other teacher if you had to work and work and work and strive and you got a b plus even though he kind of hurt you academically or he hurt your gpa you would value that b plus more than you valued the a from the other professor and if you did happen to somehow get an a from that professor that was very tough and very demanding you would value it even more so the final anecdote i'm going to give you is an old story that's like almost a cliche and i don't know if it's actually true or ever happened but it rings true and the story is this there's a boy who grew up with an abusive father and a very very nice kind caring mother and he hated his father and his father was awful to him and he you know had tons of negative emotions tons of issues because of his father and his mother was always there being sweet supportive nice etc so anyway he grows up becomes a man shorten the story eventually as he gets older his parents pass away first his mother passes away and he loved his mother he cared for his mother but at the mother's funeral he couldn't raise a tear it just it he loved her he cared he missed her but he didn't have that that emotional investment level and then when his abusive father died a few years later he bawled his eyes out and he couldn't stop crying and the idea here whether it's a true story or not the idea here is while he loved his mother and cared for his mother he built his entire identity around his father and so on a personal level the loss of his father meant more or was a bigger change to his world than the loss of his mother even though he probably liked his mother more and had a much more positive association with his mother okay so those are a series of anecdotes obviously they're not scientific studies they're not something like that other than the gambling one but they mean a lot and they go to the types of techniques we're going to use if we do want to create obsession and the first thing i want to focus on is this idea of absence right if you are constantly with someone and you're constantly providing positive emotions to someone what happens well they start to get used to positive emotions they start to get used to your presence and they start to take it for granted right and as soon as you're taken for granted you're in a bad way in fact that's one of like the death knells for a relationship right if anybody in a relationship is being taken for granted it's usually a sign of the beginning of the end of the relationship however if contrary to that or contrasting that you were to provide all kinds of positive things provide all kinds of positive experiences and then occasionally be missing or be absent the person would have an opportunity to miss those positives and actually realize how good they were right and so weirdly enough and by missing them and appreciating them more they would actually you know enjoy those positives more and have an overall more positive interaction more positive relationship so ironically instead of if you were thinking about the amount of good and positive you're putting out into the world like per time if you're putting out 100 positivity all the time the value being absorbed by the other person and the amount of connection and obsession being created in the other person would actually be less than if you actually put out you know a hundred percent and then like zero percent or 100 and then 30 and there's this variation and there's this absence so i want you to understand that that absence is actually very very useful along the lines of this absence is also disappointment right because again if the experience with someone is always positive positive positive positive then they just get used to it they take it for granted but if you give someone an occasional disappointment then it allows them to note the positive even more and this is actually true when you talk about training animals right if you were to train an animal to come when it's called right maybe train your dog to come with call train your cat to come when it's called and each time it comes you feed it but if every single time when the animal comes you feed it then if you ever stop feeding it now all of a sudden it learns very quickly you're not feeding it anymore and it will stop coming when it's called but if during the training process you feed it most of the time but sometimes not and then you feed it occasionally but most of the time not and then you just feed it you know very sporadically it will actually ingrain the habit very very deeply and the longer you can go without feeding it and have it come when it's called the deeper the habit is built and the more trained the animal is right so this idea of having a variation of experiences the idea of not being predictable and the idea of having some negatives mixed in so that someone can appreciate the positive is actually very very important in a relationship that on a practical level if you were giving a girl a positive experience all the time in a relationship the only way to actually do that in the real world would to be supplicate to her bend over backwards for her those kinds of things which would make you needy and would be low value behaviors and might actually make her disdain you so it doesn't work on a practical level either that all probably sounds interesting in theory and i hope you you follow that and you kind of get it emotionally but that doesn't answer the question how do you actually implement this how do you actually do it in practice so with that in mind i'm gonna give you five different techniques that you can use to actually implement this and they're going to go from pretty basic stuff you may have heard before to some incredibly advanced stuff that you've almost certainly not heard of or not thought of before so the first one i want to talk about is something you've definitely heard of before but it gets massively underutilized in game which is disqualifying okay legitimately actually pushing the girl away being a little resistant being a little hesitant giving the girl an actual hard time in game and i'm not talking about little qt teases like part of me loves you and part of me hates you with a smile on your face that does work and it does work in part because there is a an element of teasing disqualification there and you're simulating being flirtatious you're stimulating disqualification but i'm talking about real disqualification where you actually truly challenge someone or you actually truly do give a reason why you and the girl might not work out right where you're legitimately like with a girl and you clearly like each other and you're like you know this probably isn't gonna work right and she's like why are you like well listen we just we live too far away i mean we like each other it's just it's not practical i think we kind of i don't think we need to get invested and potentially break each other's hearts and stuff like i just don't know if it's a good idea right something like that where it's actually sincere and you actually mean it now obviously this has to be calibrated and this has to be done at a time when she likes you enough already to care and that's the funny thing about this these techniques to create investments work better once there's already investment so once there's a little bit of investment you can use one of these investment magnifiers or multipliers to get much more investments and then because there's much more investment you can use another one of these magnifier multipliers to get much more investment so you have to get the girl to like you a little bit be invested just a little bit because of good emotions because of the positives that you're bringing and it is important if you never bring a positive you never bring a good emotion to a girl none of this will work anyway right but once you do have that little bit of investment you can multiply it to more and more and more and deeper and deeper investment and these legitimate push aways actually do have that effect right and obviously a teasing push away might be a good way to start to get a little bit of investment a little bit of buy-in and then you can do a more real legitimate push away and again you do need to be calibrated right these are powerful techniques and what happens when something's powerful is it can be misused right it's like if you have like a little tool like a screwdriver or a hammer you know you can only do so much damage when you start talking about like power tools or like military grade weapons you can do a lot more damage so yes it's much more powerful but it's also much more dangerous and calibration is absolutely critical here the next technique i want to give you is leaving the girl on red strategically at the right times so obviously if you just never respond to a girl's text that's not a good text messaging strategy because it's not going to go anywhere there's not enough to it to go anywhere on the other hand though if you're texting back immediately all the time you look needy you look desperate the girl knows she can have you and there isn't a lot of suspense or tension there so somewhere in between is good but the question is how can you leave silences and leave those gaps in such a way that it doesn't destroy the continuity it doesn't destroy the progression of the texting and one good answer to that is to leave silences and gaps at very strategic good times i'll give you two specific times when it's often not always but it can definitely be a good idea to not text the girl back or at least not text the girl back right away so situation one is let's say you're texting a girl and it's it's kind of ladish into the evening you're not gonna hang out with her tonight for whatever reason either you're busy she's busy it's not possible you're far away whatever you're not gonna hang out with her tonight so you're not losing anything by ending the texting and you've kind of come to a point where she sent the last text and there's nothing more to be achieved tonight you know the the emotions are good the teasing is good there's no further escalation possible and a lot of guys will send something like sounds good good night or sweet dreams or like a thumbs up or something like that or okay i'll hit you back tomorrow something like that and what that does it closes the loop right it definitely it makes the girl completely comfortable it makes the girl know she can have you it makes her completely secure and it takes away any seed of doubt in her mind it also means that if she doesn't text you next and you text her next you're going to be double texting her so it's a situation where there's absolutely nothing gained by texting there's nothing to be achieved from that text and there's plenty to be lost you're losing the suspense and you're losing the fact that if she doesn't text back now you have to double text so in that situation where the texting is good she sent the last message and there's nothing left to achieve i would strongly consider not texting anything else that night just leave it and then especially we've been texting back fairly actively and then one of two things will happen either she won't text back in which case you text the next day and it's the same as if you texted that night except now you're restarting the conversation when there's more to be achieved right you're restarting the conversation on a day when maybe the conversation can go longer or you actually can hang out or it can go somewhere so it's actually better than it would have been and she waited a little bit and wondered or possibly she waits and wonders and then texts you again that night because she worries that like she offended you or she worries where you went or she starts to feel lonely or miss you and now you're getting the seed of that obsession you're getting the seed of her chasing which is much much much better right so either way there's nothing lost and something possibly again this is a very opportune time to not text that night wait till the next day and then you can follow up as as you would have anyway with nothing lost and then if she follows up instead of you or if she even has the thoughts of falling up and wonders if she should follow up even if she doesn't do it you've gained something in the interaction you've gotten her more attached to you than you would have had you texted right then and there second time that it's often very good to leave the girl on red for at least a little bit is when she sends a very committal text or a very try-hard text so for example let's say the girl tries for like a joke in text and it's kind of lame um it's a good time to just go silent for a few hours especially if you've been texting back pretty actively maybe just go silent for a little bit or if you're texting you know more sporadically like a couple times a day maybe just go silent for a day or something like that and then you can hit her back up and she's gonna worry and wonder oh was that lame did i look did i look stupid does he not like me did he did i did i offend him with that joke and she's very likely to double text maybe apologize maybe qualify herself maybe jump in and ask you a question just to not get silence from you etc and again you're creating the situation where she's the one chasing you instead of you chasing her think back to all those times when you sent something that you thought was clever or creative or interesting or funny to a girl and then you didn't get a response back you're like oh uh what did i do wrong this text sucks and you start showing your friends you start obsessing about it you start thinking should i text her again you're doing that same exact thing to her except girls feel it 10 times more strongly than you do because they're way more validation sensitive than we are as men okay so these are two very good situations we're just leaving it on red there's nothing lost you can always text a few hours later you always text the next day etc but there's so much to be gained if she does double text you triple text you etc and even if she doesn't if she had the inclination to if she's the urge to if she looked back in her pocket and thought about it you still gain something even if she didn't send the double text the next technique is a much more general one it's not a specific one-off kind of do this specific thing say the specific line thing it's an overall theme that can exist throughout your entire interaction and this has to do with framing and sort of storytelling if you checked out my course the system or watch deeply into some of my materials you may be familiar with the concept of narrative right narrative is at least as expressed in the system the idea of the story between you and the girl how how she is interpreting the situation it's the frame which determines the events right so um is the frame that she's chasing you or that you're chasing her depending which frame exists all of the different actions you picking her up for a date versus her picking you up for a date versus you getting her a gift or her getting you a gift or you kissing or having sex all these things have a different meaning depending on who is perceived to be chasing depending on who is perceived to be the prize so setting yourself up as the prize is one example of framing and storytelling that will lead to a more obsessive girl than if the frame was that you're chasing her another great form of narrative storytelling is the story of us the story of you and the girl and how you met the story of you and the girl and what you mean to each other why you're good together so as much as you can you want to encourage these narratives in the girl where possible if she has some kind of like cool story of how you and she met and she likes telling it to her friends um encourage that right let her tell that story right be positive about that story even like feed into the story as well those kind of things if she has particular things she loves about your particular similarities that she really highlights and likes to talk about you know encourage that narrative talk up that narrative occasionally do a little like subtle reminder of those kind of things you want to create again that story that you're special a lot of like the best couples have those stories they have those those inside stories inside jokes and especially like those those kind of sweet little things that they share those little things that are part of their story um so definitely encourage those to happen now you want to be careful because the other elements of framing right which is that you're not chasing so if it looks like you're trying super hard to create this similarity that's not good but when these things come up naturally when an opportunity arises spontaneously when she seems to be going in that direction anyway certainly don't stop her and certainly even encourage it or play along a little bit to build up that narrative because what is the difference between a relationship and two people that are just attracted to each other really what it is it's the story that the two people have decided to tell themselves they've decided to tell themselves this story about why they're good together and they decided to share some experiences and value those experiences to the extent that they would have a hard time finding that shared experience in someone else someone of equivalent value where you have shared experiences is actually of a higher value to you than someone equivalent value where you don't have those shared experiences so the shared experiences become a form of value they become a form of justification they become a form of the story you tell yourself adding to the perceived beauty of your life your own self-esteem your own self-worth etc etc so encourage these stories where they can occur right first of all frame yourself um in the positive way create that good story about who you are relative to her but also create great stories about who you guys are together great story for example is the idea of you and her against the world that's a great framing um that you can use at times the next technique i want to share with you is one of the most powerful most misunderstood and most misused techniques in all of game and this is a technique called the freeze out and the way most guys use the freeze out is really wrong and kind of bad the way most guys use a freeze out for example is with regards to say your things are moving towards sex they're progressing towards some sort of escalation or some sort of outcome you want and then if a guy gets rejected what he will do is he'll kind of go cold or go silent or pull away and the idea is that you're sort of like punishing the girl's rejection and you're sort of making her feel the loss of you um and and that's supposed to make her come around and the idea is that um she's supposed to feel that losing your attention hurt more or was more uncomfortable than whatever escalation she was resisting and so you're sort of like sort of emotionally blackmailing her almost into doing what you want this is a terrible thing to do both in terms of manipulation and being kind of evil also in terms of it doesn't really work very well because it's kind of obvious it's kind of reactive right the idea is that like she just did something bad and then you like you know immediately in a reaction to her do something mean back it's just it's very transparent it doesn't work very well and it's not ideal right um so i don't really like this technique both because it's kind of mean and cruel and kind of it's the idea and the intention behind it is actually inherently kind of evil um and it also doesn't work very well however there's a different version of a freeze out which is not as reactive not as evil but much more effective and this is what i call a pre-emptive freeze-out and so what i will do say for example again you're escalating maybe things are moving towards moving in a sexual direction but you're not completely sure it's going to go all the way to sex or even if you are you just want to create more tension to make the interaction better to create more buy-in to make the sex better even because it's part of foreplay what you might do is along the way when there's no obstruction towards sex you might actually create an obstruction or you might just pull away randomly so let's say you're sitting on the bed making out and it's going pretty well and you're like man we can maybe have sex now um but instead of pushing forward and trying to have sex like 99.9 percent of guys would do and being that pushy guy that's like all you know grabby and handsy and whatnot and and clearly has an agenda instead what you do is you in that that high point at that high moment instead of trying to escalate which you know escalating on a high point makes sense in game but instead of escalating at a high point you intentionally pull away right intentionally like at that moment you go hang on hold that thought for a second and you leave the room go do something maybe if you're drinking wine you go like you go refill the wine glasses and just take a minute and then maybe when you come back instead of sitting right back down on the bed and going back to making out which would be the obvious thing instead maybe instead of sitting back on the bed you go sit on the chair next to the bed and the girl wonders what the heck why did he stop when things were good why did he leave the room why would he hit him back did he not jump back into making out with me and now she starts to be a little bit obsessed and actually is a good a good lesson for game and a good kind of story um one of the great ways that this technique came about was from someone who was an early mentor of mine he was on a date and there was a situation where there was kind of a pool and a hot tub in him and a girl and so what he did is he sat in the hot tub with a girl thinking things were all good and going all smoothly and the girl got up out of the hot tub and dove into the pool and just swam in the pool so now he's sitting sitting in the hot tub all by himself while the girls in the pool he's like well this sucks we're not talking she's just swimming around i'm just sitting here what's going on and so he waited just enough time to like not make it seem needy and he got up and dove in the pool after and went to do like the whole swimmy swimmy splashy splashy sexy sexy thing except she she played along for a minute or two and then she got up went out of the pool and went and sat in the hot tub and then he's sitting there in the pool and she's in the hot tub and the more times this happened the more needy it looked and so that sort of preemptive freeze out when things were going very well there was no reason to stop it her stopping it made him chase right now again flip it around if you do the same kind of a thing to a girl understand that her reaction to it's gonna be ten times stronger because girls are much more validation based in their emotions and they're much less used to that sort of thing they're much less used to be putting in the position of being the chaser and so it definitely has a bigger effect on them so this idea of the preemptive freeze out stopping things going a little bit cold with drawing attention a little bit when things are actually already going well not as a reaction not as a punishment but as a heightener as an enhancer as a way to get the emotions higher to create more tension to create more foreplay and more arousal that actually is very very useful and can be very very effective and good final example i want to give you is the example of the suspenseful open loop the idea of the dread of not knowing the idea of waiting and anxiety anxiety and anticipation etc imagine um if you ever when you when you were young if you ever did something bad right you did something that you weren't supposed to do and you're like worried about getting caught you're worried about your teacher finding out you're worried about your parents finding out et cetera et cetera and just eats at you and eats at you and eats at you and bothers you and that's all you can think about and it just like consumes all of your emotions like i hope i don't get caught i hope it didn't happen etc that feeling is usually far worse than whatever feeling you would get if you actually did get caught and did get punished right you punish yourself far more the anxiety the anticipation is far stronger than even the worst case and you know oftentimes nothing happens and all the punishment you did all the obsession was was for nothing now you can create that same sort of thing in a girl by just creating open loops so imagine this just put yourself in this scenario you're going about your day you're with you know you have a girlfriend you really love you're going about your day at work and then all of a sudden you get a message from your girlfriend text message from the middle of day it says we need to talk that's it we need to talk all right and then you go what the what's going on et cetera et cetera you leave the business meeting you're in you call her up and she doesn't answer imagine how you would feel in that situation be like what what's going on and you'd be killing yourself all day right and then if at the end of the day it turned out it was a totally positive thing like she's planning a trip together now you get the positive of the trip but you also get all that anticipation all that worry all that like are we gonna break up did i do something wrong did this that the other right so you created all this tension you created all this suspense and all this mystery because of the open loop the open loops occasionally something bad but not nearly as bad as anticipated it might even be a good way to break bad news too because it's a relief that it's not even that bad but the idea of the open loop the idea of suspense the idea that the wonder and the tension really builds remember this idea that falling in love or getting obsessed is not something someone does to you it's something you do to yourself when they're not around so i hope you enjoyed that dive into some of the dark but highly effective techniques of game but i do want to warn you once again please use these techniques for good there's a number of reasons for this number one they're more effective in the context of a positive relationship so just please create positive relationships instead of negative ones two again getting girls obsessed with you and very attached to you in negative ways can definitely have blowback can lead to slash tires and far worse again hell hath no fury like a woman scoring so please please please don't use and abuse women also it's just immoral unethical and sometimes illegal so please use the techniques for good and not for evil they'll be much more rewarding and it's just just please be a good human being all right so i hope you enjoyed them i hope you like that if you do like these deep dives and the highly powerful surprising techniques you'll also probably like this video on the three surprising sex triggers the three reasons girls have sex that you might not be aware so i bet you'll enjoy that as well take care thanks for listening see you next time [Music] you