hello before i begin i would like to thank the nac vgm committee for inviting me to present at this year's conference my paper today is titled the sound of falling giants hedonic and eudemonic tensions in the music of shadow of the colossus the field of media studies has grappled with the seemingly paradoxical enjoyment of media that evokes a mixture of both positive and negative emotional responses put simply why do we enjoy engaging with media that makes us feel bad media scholars have identified the desire to engage with such material as part of a binary framework between hedonic and mutabonic motivations the philosophical concept of eudemonia was explored by aristotle in his two ethical treatises nicomachean ethics and eudemian ethics it is commonly defined as the condition of human flourishing or well-being aristotle writes that the highest level of well-being is achieved through the development of virtue in accordance with excellence and logical reasoning for aristotle eudemonia is the highest human good the only good that is desirable for its own sake rather than for the sake of something else he conceived of eudemonia as requiring ongoing activity rather than as a static state one does not achieve a perfect state of eudemonia but instead must maintain this highest level of well-being through virtuous living and excellence in reasoning aristotle also discussed the concept of hedonia or pleasure hedonia is often associated primarily with epicurus whose system of ethics was predicated on the idea that the only intrinsic good is one's own pleasure therefore the only objects or experiences with intrinsic value are those that provide some kind of emotional or sensory pleasure much of the pioneering research on the application of a hedonic versus udemonic framework in media was completed by professor of media studies mary beth oliver though hedonia and eudemonia are not mutually exclusive concepts much of her research casts the two ideas as a dichotomy in this binary system hedonia represents the pursuit of those activities which produce positive primarily sensory pleasure while eudemonia refers to the experience of those activities which inspire deeper contemplation about human condition and morally honorable living oliver's findings regarding the apparently paradoxical enjoyment of entertainment results again negative emotions for example choosing to watch a movie that you know will make you sad developed into the framework of enjoyment versus appreciation oliver conceptualizes enjoyment as the attitude toward entertainment that inspires primarily positive emotions in other words entertainment that offers a hedonic experience appreciation by comparison is the response toward entertainment that inspires deeper contemplation and often an affective mixture of what are commonly considered positive and negative emotions this response is associated with a demonic experience these frameworks of hedonia versus eudemonia and enjoyment versus appreciation allow us to categorize media experiences according to the emotional responses they elicit they also allow us to pinpoint the difference in emotional impact between for example games like mario kart and journey we can decisively label a straightforward racing game like mario kart a hedonic gaming experience and games with weightier themes such as journey a unimonic one the concept of hedonic vs udemonic gameplay experiences offers a useful framework for the study of music and games a game's soundtrack much like the soundtrack of the film often functions to underscore and intensify the emotional impact of the game's other elements that is to say a game's music can be used to support hedonic enjoyment eudemonic appreciation or some combination of the two shadow colossus provides a particularly useful case study for the role of music in supporting a hedonic and or eudemonic gameplay experience the game was developed by team eco and released for the playstation 2 in 2001. shadow begins as the protagonist wander riding his horse aggro enters a region known as the forbidden land he is carrying with him the body of a young girl named mano whom he hopes to bring back to life with the help of an entity named dorman dorman tells wander that this might be possible but only if wander can destroy the 16 idols arrayed along the inner walls of his shrine to do this wander must travel throughout the forbidden land and use the ancient sword on his back to destroy each idol's living incarnation a colossus defeating the 16 colossi constitutes most of the game's action the colossi are generally towering beasts composed of a fusion of organic and inorganic matter such as stone earth fur and architectural elements they come in a variety of forms and live in diverse environments including high in the air and deep underwater they also vary in size two of the colossi are not colossal at all but in fact not much larger than wander the crux of each battle lies in attacking the colossus's weak points which are indicated by glowing sigils this involves latching onto and climbing their fur to reach these weak points which are often high on the colossus's body the process of climbing each colossus becomes increasingly difficult as the game progresses requiring more complex thinking and puzzle solving skills shadow of the colossus is essentially one long boss rush boss battles are a common feature of action adventure games in many of these games the player progresses in the game's storyline by traversing dungeons which usually contain various puzzles and enemies the player must overcome in order to advance the boss at the end of the dungeon is a unique and particularly powerful enemy whose battle tactics are more sophisticated than those of lesser enemies much of the appeal of boss battles comes from the boss's position in the game relative to other enemies or tasks these battles are special events often the most difficult and challenging encounters in any game this is not the case in shadow of the colossus there are no dungeons to explore and no minor enemies to defeat there is only a series of 16 battles against the colossi this exclusive focus on boss battles is in large part what makes shadow unusual in the action adventure genre to this day musically boss battles are frequently accompanied by some of the most exciting and memorable music in the game the score is often raucous and frenetic intensifying the adrenaline rush players feel in such a high-stakes situation the energy of the music motivates and empowers the player egging them on in their attempt to defeat the intimidating enemy in front of them when the player finally succeeds they are rewarded not only with some sort of boon in the game but also musically the death of a boss is cause for celebration and the score reaffirms this by responding with a victorious fanfare often this fanfare is consistent across the entire game even if each boss battle is accompanied by different music this repetition instills a musical expectation in the player which is fulfilled and reinforced every time they defeat a boss as shadow of colossus subverts the typical boss battle formula of the action adventure genre so too does it subvert a player's musical expectations the score offers the first hint of the central theme of moral ambiguity signaling to players each time they slay a colossus that despite their intentions they may not be the hero of this story the journey to the first colossus is a short one the colossus lies straight ahead only a short distance south of the shrine's exit wander and aggro make their way to their goal a gap between two cliffs filled by ruined walls and pathways leading to the cliffs above a shortcut scene plays as the player's view is guided toward the top of the cliff revealing the path upward the player hears a flute emulating the breathy sound of the shakuhachi playing a descending whole step from b to a the interval repeats and the cellos and bassoon respond with a figure that snakes its way upward through a series of half steps before finally settling on e the feeling of resolution is immediately deserved by the violins like the shakuhachi they chime in with a descending two note figure though this time only a half step apart the low voices repeat their initial statement transposed but have been influenced by the violins motif the dip below the resolution of the phrase is not only a half step the phrase ends on the same bead a sharp interval as the violins which now respond by transposing their original idea upward falling from d to d flat [Applause] [Music] then [Music] [Applause] [Music] oh [Music] the rising and falling half step figures of the cellos and bassoon create a feeling of uncertainty and mystery while the violin's repeated motif suggests a warning as a whole the effect is one of constantly rising tension left without a satisfying conclusion when wanda reaches the top of the cliff the ground shakes beneath him and the giant foot of the first colossus steps into view this colossus resembles a kind of gorilla though standing on two feet its long arms reach almost to the ground its right hand clenching a massive club wander jumps toward the colossus's still moving leg and latches onto its fur the colossus notices wander for the first time and starts swinging its leg back and forth trying to dislodge the disturbance there is no apparent malice in this the colossus seems to regard wander as merely a nuisance as wander climbs the player discovers a weak point on the back of the colossus's leg indicated by a shining blue light the game provides the necessary instructions and the player makes the first strike of the game driving their sword into the colossus's flesh the moments leading up to this first strike have taken place in relative silence but now the music swells with the sound of distant horns over a sweeping orchestra when the battle begins in earnest that is when the colossus actively recognizes wanderer as a threat the orchestra kicks into high gear a declamatory theme in the upper strings is punctuated by aggressive repeated bass notes falling squarely and emphatically on the downbeats [Music] [Music] the player climbs higher up the colossus's back toward its head and the music follows suit rising in pitch and volume and the theme transitions from the strings to the more brazen horns and trumpets [Music] [Music] this portion of the score aligns well with the musical tropes associated with adventure and heroism which we would expect to hear in a boss battle the function of the music during this battle is to support a hedonic gameplay experience the experience of fighting the colossus feels exhilarating and the music reinforces that feeling after a long struggle wander delivers the final blow the world stops for a moment and then we see the colossus sink forward onto the ground black blood gushing from its wounds new music begins to play and the mood is entirely changed bells toll and organ plays and a full choir fades in the voices rising and falling around each other before slowly coming to rest at their lowest point the game brings the focus back to wander and the orchestra picks up where the choir left off violins reaching upward in a relatively thin texture with only an oboe as their baseline tendrils of shadow fly out from the fallen colossus and strike wander in the chest he collapses unconscious as the violins and oboe come to rest on a widely spaced g major chord in second inversion [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] um after the exuberance of the battle itself this moment comes as a surprise many players would expect the music to celebrate their achievement after all they have worked hard to defeat this boss and they have successfully accomplished what the game asked of them the playstation version of the game even rewards you with a trophy this moment should be joyous instead as the colossus falls the music seems to mourn the loss of this ancient magnificent creature it implies that the colossus's fate at the player's hands is undeserved this musical response is so unusual that even people who worked on the game thought it must be a mistake in one interview team eco's director fumito uera said when i first showed my staff the sequence of sad sounding music being played after defeating a colossus in shot of the colossus they thought it was a bug and laughed because they were so used to games that would play a fanfare after defeating a monster it is important to note that there is nothing visual about the scene of the colossus's death that would suggest anything has gone awry if this portion of the soundtrack were replaced with more standard victory music the player accustom as they likely are to games that present this kind of violence as necessary and even righteous would happily continue on their path of destruction without a second thought instead the subversion of these musical expectations plants a seed of doubt in the player's mind if what feels like an act of heroism is suddenly framed as a tragedy does this mean that the player is not a hero after all despite these doubts the player must keep going as no other means of progress is presented the player traverses the forbidden land discovers a colossus experiences a visually stunning and musically thrilling battle sequence and that feels the shame and guilt of each colossus's death anew the music that accompanies the death of a colossus is always the same reinforcing the point with each repetition the music the player hears during battle does change however the soundtrack rotates through several different battle tracks and each is used for three to four colossi none of these deviates from the general sound aesthetic of the first battle except one the music accompanying the final colossus battle by the time the player has reached the 16th colossus they have become quite familiar with the mechanics of scaling and defeating a colossus this one is found in the farthest reach of the forbidden land that stands atop a huge column of stone in the middle of a chasm and even climbing to the point where the colossus is visible is a challenge in itself when wander does reach the top torrential rains fall from the darkened sky as a cut scene slowly pans from the base of the colossus to its head showcasing its truly massive size its legs are obscured by complex stone scaffolding and from its arms spout rings a flame this colossus stays rooted in its position and shoots flaming projectiles at wander the player must advance through a series of tunnels in the ruins surrounding the colossus eventually emerging from one of these tunnels between the colossus's feet the soundtrack here features the choir which introduces a theme recalling the tuna two-note descending motif heard before the battle with the first colossus the orchestra pulses softly beneath the choir and the choir is answered by a flute and english horn expanding on this motif with a twisting descending figuration [Music] woof the choir and solo woodwinds are replaced by the strings they enter with a transposed and slightly rhythmically altered form of the theme from the first battle a neighbor tone deviation from the same pitch followed by a more sustained descent first by step and concluding with a fourth leap downward the strings are quickly joined by the organ punctuated by ringing [Applause] chimes [Music] um unlike previous battles where the music shifts into higher gear when wander latches onto a colossus the score remains constant throughout the entirety of this battle it recalls music the player has heard since the first battle but in a new form the battle theme becomes dark and mournful as the strings linger over the melodic contour the inclusion of the choir organ and chimes mirrors the instrumentation of the death theme that has accompanied the fall of each of the previous 15 colossi this infusion of the once energetic and thrilling battle music with the funeral textures of the death theme reflect the waiting moral issues with which the player has struggled throughout their quest it acknowledges from the beginning that this battle is not something to be enjoyed or celebrated but in spite of the self-awareness and acceptance the final colossus falls just as every other colossus before it into the same music [Applause] [Music] in the game's final moments it is revealed that wander has been tricked each of the colossi contains some portion of dorman's essence and slaying them has allowed dorman to be restored to his full power until this point there is very little to clue the player in to the fact that their adventure might have anything other than heroic motivations and consequences except of course the music in one sense shadow of the colossus is composed primarily of hedonic experiences each battle of the colossus is a distillation of any action adventure game's most exciting moments they are thrilling challenging awe-inspiring and visually pleasing it feels immensely satisfying for a player when they finally climb their way to a colossus's weak point and successfully sink their sword into the beast's back these feelings are intensified by the soundtrack a full orchestra cheers the player on with the sounds of righteous battle urging them to strike the final blow then the colossus falls and the tone is entirely transformed rather than the celebratory fanfare the player has been looking forward to they are met with an elegy the orchestra which appeared to support their actions moments before laments the colossus's fate as it tops to the grounds this is not what is expected the player feels surprised confused and above all guilty did this creature deserve to die is this murder justified because it helps the player achieve their ends provoking this emotional response was a deliberate decision in discussing his motivation for changing up the perceived morality of defeating the colossi uera says i started having doubts about simply feeling good by beating monsters and getting a sense of accomplishment i tried thinking if there were any other choices for different kinds of expression then ended up with the finalized game mechanics as a result the subversion of musical expectations when a colossus dies introduces the eudemonic element of the experience the drastic change in the music's tone signals that things may not be as they appear and the justification of wander's quest is unexpectedly called into question the music prompts the player to consider the uncomfortable fact that what they are doing may be morally wrong it introduces complex themes of loss grief and senseless violence the idea of unnecessary violence is especially impactful because it forces the player to consider whether the same principle extends beyond the world of shadow of the colossus into entire genres of video games in which this kind of violence is not only allowed but expected and rewarded the emotional impact of shadow of the colossus is largely defined in the tensions between the game's hedonic and eudemonic moments the experiences of discovering a colossus latching onto its fur discovering its weak points and finally striking the final blow are very much in line with what many players would expect from a game of the action adventure genre the music appears to affirm the player throughout these thrilling boss battles it is energetic and cinematic complete with sweeping strings and boisterous horns and the player's actions feel justified as each colossus falls however the music signals that something is wrong it paints the colossus death as a tragedy a loss to be mourned the music therefore becomes a primary indicator of tension between the hedonic experience of fighting the colossi and the game's moral messages about that violence the resulting confusion guilt and shame that this tension evokes in the player embodies the game's eudaimonic effect and is a large part of why shadow of the colossus remains so memorable to this day thank you