there are five predictable stages that every man must go through in order to get his wife back knowing the systematic Improvement path that you walk towards reconciliation ensures the speed that it takes to get there and How likely you will stay on course and not make deadly mistakes that end up with heartbreak and isolation I made a previous video on the channel that you can check at the very end of this one going through the five stages in depth so I'm not going to go into depth about those stages you can watch at the very end I'm going to show you in today's video how each stage along the way that you inevitably go through she gives you different tests and how to pass those tests to get to the next stage she subconsciously gives you these different tests it's almost like as gates to pass you like levels on a video game to make sure that you are the right man for her okay so knowing how to identify and overcome them at each stage guarantees you will not make many mistakes along the way that will just cause self-sabotage making you fall back down to stage one in apathy and grief and separation because honestly that's the consistent pattern that I see with guys in our program is that they come into the program and then they see these mistakes when they're first new and they're like oh they self- sabotaged because they don't watch a video like this and then they get it and they eventually go along the way but I don't want you to make those same mistakes oh for stage three by the way where most of you are at according to data which is pretty cool that I asked you guys you can see on the chart here I will tell you the exact words to say when she says something like I see your changes but make them for the next woman so if you've ever heard that before stick around the first stage is what's known as negative sentiment this is when she's either in complete no contact or it's one-word answers but her overall emotions are apathy towards the relationship or indifference that's that Stone Cold wall and she's a completely different person than the woman you used to know now this may be hard to understand but the test is the no contact the test is that wall of Vice that obstacle is the way when I used to be a dating coach years and years ago I would tell guys when they walk up to a woman and they're first talking to her it's 90% of the woman just stand there and just look at you okay now most guys they want the going to be laughing and flirting back and all these things but that's the first test I told him if she is standing there listening to your words talk to you she can go anywhere so she likes you she's like what do you got it's the same thing for your wife okay now if she is responding to you through text messages one word right or you're sending her letters or emails or you call her and she talks to you about logistics she doesn't have to do that you understand okay so the fact that if she's contacting you that is a test now I'm going to throw out a huge huge caveat okay if she put a restraining order on you I can't believe I had to say this but if she put a restraining order on you or she's just flat out not responding to at all I would argue it is time to separate and untether from her spend a good amount of time apart from her do that deep inventory as to why Things Fall Apart focus on yourself because even if she randomly came back in no contact you'd be the same guy okay however on a subconscious level when she's sitting there responding with one word text messages or you called her she's listening to or you or you meet up with her and the kids and she's just just like looking at you listening to you and she's cordial that's a test okay she's saying to you can you rect me can you win me back now the main two core actions in this stage to get to the next one around her tests are both mindset shifts right that's what you have power or control over the first is having the belief that you are the best man for her and knowing that not in here but in here the longest path to learning is from your head to your heart and so you have to work on believing that you are the best man for her there's no other better guy in the world okay and truly believe in that you can't fake it you must truly cultivate that belief within yourself and then paradoxically the second belief is you must know that you are good without her right going through the idea that you could spend your life without her and You'd Survive you'd be okay you move forward with Life Life Will Go On and you have to cultivate that because wanting her and knowing you're the best for her and having that confidence is important but simultaneously holding the idea in your head that if she were to leave you for good you'd be okay now if you do these two things I truly believe that you cultivate this energy there's like a subconscious connection between you and your wife this feeling and once you really adopt those two mindsets for sure she'll St to reach out to you again and you move on to the second stage the second stage is the resentment switch now the context of this situation is that she's contacting you more except there is a lot of anger and poison coming out right and a lot of guys do not like this right because it sucks you don't want to have her being angry and mean to you and all these things but you have to realize that she's feeling safe enough to EXP expel that poison to throw that illness of the relationship up unto you unfortunately but you can clean yourself up okay but her expressing her emotions angry or not is a good thing because as you know from stage one the opposite of Love isn't hate it's apathy it's indifference that's what stage one is okay stage two she's actually opening up about her emotions it is a good thing with her test in this stage you must lean towards the skills of validation and acceptance okay instead of frame control which we'll talk about later okay be more like water be more like acceptance accept her emotions the way they are do not resist them do not fight them any resistance and she'll double down on that anger on that poison and she'll go back in stage one just saying screw it all okay that's the mistake guys make in this stage do not go into blame and self-pity or saying that she shouldn't have these emotions she shouldn't be angry at you here are some examples of tests in this stage she'll say things like make these changes for the next woman or you shouldn't want me anymore we aren't good enough for each other or you're never going to change now there's only one bad way to resp respon to these tests and that is to believe her to fall into her frame you see her frame of reality the way she sees you herself in the world in the relationship she is test that is her test oh this is the way it is no this it's not going to work but subconsciously she is challenging you to say prove me wrong have a stronger frame than me pull me out of this anger pull me out of this pain bring me to love and connection that's what she wants she wants to be masculine enough to do that an extreme example to prove the point okay with frame control is if she calls you an idiot for example extreme example to prove the point you're not going to say sit there and be like I'm smart I have more I make more money than you do I have a higher I have a master's degree you only have your undergrad you're falling into her frame okay do not agree with her all right that is the worst way to respond to a test so let's go over a couple of good examples the change so if she says make the changes for the next woman you'll just simply change the subjects you go okay anyways and then you go on talking about something else never once in the history of thousands of people that I've known or my personal life or anyone has a guy change the subject and the woman goes no no no did you just hear what I said I said make the changes for the next woman see hi value man hears that frame and it's like oh that's an interesting way to view the relationship and just passes and brushes it off and go towards the reality that he wants now the second way to pass this is my favorite which is to agree and amplify so if she says you shouldn't want me anymore this is agreeing with a frame but then amplifying it this is finding the humor it's an advanced technique and passing test but it works wonders when you get it down so you'll say I know ah stop being so damn appealing all the time it's annoying you know you have a hold over me and I just don't like it so like uh just I don't want you anymore either just like I I hate that you have so much control over you just go away go away I I can't deal with you you see what you're doing there you are making it humorous her frame it's silly right it's funny and it takes a lot of skill to do this but when you do it the right way with a strong congruence behind it it's magic the Third Way is through nonsense or humor so if she says we aren't good for each other you just kind of act like a weird philosophical poet you're like who is good for each other nowadays anyways we'll never know anyways so you're kind of combining the first two but you're just kind of speaking nonsense and the fourth and final way which which is the safest way is the loving indifference so if she says you're never going to change you just say yeah maybe maybe not too you could be right yeah and you just go on with your life so that's what you have to recognize is that these tests don't come from a logical space so you don't ever respond with logic all these responses are non-logical and for a logical if you're a logical guy yourself your brain might be like hardwiring a little bit but trust me just try it with certainty and see what happens the main point here is to not resist her in any way now if you need help understanding these Concepts deeper having a coach guide you through whole Community you guys can set up a call down below with our team and our marriage evaluators to get a free marriage evaluation to see if we can help you save your marriage let's move on third stage is polarity pool now most of you are at this stage all right so pay attention now at this point she's in the Dual mind narrative right this is the makes guys go so crazy because she has different parts of herself right she has the part of love hope acceptance Beauty and connection and then she has her protector now her protector that's pushing you away is not a bad thing I must emphasize that point it is serving to protect protor because you have made her not feel safe you must accept that okay that way when you see her protector come up you don't diminish it or resist it all right but in her D my narrative an example of that is one day she says let's go on a trip with the kids next month we're going to go to you know our favorite vacation spot or she may have sex with you or she does something indicating interest and love and connection that she wants to be with you and then the next day the next hour the next moment she says oh by the way you know we're not going to work out some examples of you being in the stage are she shows interest in asking you questions about what to do essentially wanting you to to be a leader make decisions for her she's texting you for innocuous things that she can clearly do herself but she's asking you she does her makeup around you when she doesn't have to or she shows any form of curiosity about your life asking you questions watching your stories on Facebook or whatever so let's go over a couple test examples so the first one is she may say just so you know we're not going to be working out or be together you know that right your response to something like that this is one of my favorites is you say you know what you're probably right there probably a better guy out there for you you know what I can help we should go out one night go to the bar we can find a guy for you you just walk around look find another dude for you and you can make it like a little game that shows the most confidence and healthy indifference that you can have right because it's showing like yeah like you're joking in a way but at the same time you are showing that you are good without her another one I hear all the time with guys in the stage is that before she does something physical or you guys are going to have sex or go somewhere she goes okay we're going to do this thing but don't get any ideas okay this is not meaning that we're still together you simply say yeah I wouldn't want you falling back in love with me God that'd be that'd be the worst okay having a strong frame and constantly passing your test and working on yourself doing everything I talk about on this channel will eventually bring you to a Tipping Point where the more positive emotional experiences have been happening more than the negative and that Tipping Point she goes into the fourth stage of projected reality okay now the test more from going of the the macrocosm of the relationship to the micro what that means is that the previous test in stages 1 two and three it's all about like I don't want to be with you anymore like I'm questioning the whole entire relationship at this stage when you're more in the positive perspective more emotional positive experiences what happens is now she's testing you on your behavior behaviors little things that used to bother you or bother her about you or bother her yeah okay so here are some examples of the tests that she'll have in stage four she'll do things that skate against your boundaries so she knows what your boundaries are whether you state them or you don't and you should State them and she'll do things that are just close enough to go right up against them to see if you're going to hold firm she'll get upset all the time and criticize about not going enough dates not cooking enough not cleaning enough not doing things for the kids or whatever she's criticized you in the past before and by the way this is Monumental the p pass these tests because she's like oh I'm going to bring up the old things and let's see how he responds or any form of criticism just towards what you do or even who you are right calling out your you always do this you never do that you're this type she's trying to label you as someone that you are trying not to be to see if you succumb to her frame if you try to argue with her about that because if you knew you are were that thing if you knew that you were a man that has full trust right that you trust her and she should trust you you've done nothing wrong and she says you're so untrustworthy I can't trust you at all you're such a liar and you know you're not that man you are not going to argue through you're not going to bring up times in the past when you've been truthful you're not going to try to mitigate the lies that she brings up you lied about this one thing you're but no that was Omission that's different you're not going to argue you're going to use the previous skills I taught you okay and doing that enough will bring you to lovely stage five otherwise known as intimacy engagement okay so the test here it's more the same from stage four she will call out things about your behavior but it's a lot less and she'll also just test you just to create attraction so she'll tease you she'll she'll still call out little things or she'll test your boundaries because women will always test actually let me read you a quote about this David data says a woman often seems to test her man's capacity to remain unperturbed in his truth and purpose she tests him to feel his freedom and depth of love to know that he is trustable her test may come in the form of complaining challenging changing her mind doubting him distracting him or even undermining his purpose in a subtle or not so subtle way a man should never think his woman's testing is going to end and his life will get easier rather should appreciate that she does these things to feel his strength integrity and openness her desire is for his deepest truth and love as he grows so will her testing as he grows so will her testing so to pass these tests in stage five is doing everything that David said find your purpose stay on it remain conscious right and don't be affected by her test and accept them for the way they are that it's a fundamental part of who she is and she does them to feel your strength and masculinity to create attraction and polarity and passion between the two of you and connection that is the purpose of these tests so my final bonus to you here is to love these tests to see them and say that is what she should be doing and that puts a nice little bow around this whole entire video okay again if you need help you know how to find it watch two videos that I said right here right here and uh I'll see you in the next one cheers