Transcript for:
Understanding Human Behavior through DISA Method

forward many years ago bill bonstead and his son David developed a revolutionary software system based on the dis method a way of describing human communication and classifying behavior in a method that is used throughout this book sadly bill has since passed away but David continues to run their company TTI success insights to this day from its humble origins in rural Iowa this method of behavior profiling has now been used by businesses and corporations all around the world it all began with one question a simple specific question could an agricultural salesperson sell more seeds simply by looking at a farm as a child growing up in rural Iowa I watched my father apply the foundational principles of William Molton Marston's emotions of normal people at the time my father was focused on buyer profile blending giving agricultural salespeople the knowledge of Marston's tools to better understand themselves and their farmer customers I can still recall the earliest days sitting in a Naughty Pine table over meals of hot pork tenderloins and roast corn when my father was working through his observ ations pristine driveways and neat Groves definitely a blue new and experimental livestock and buildings you're looking at a red although we were close our paths were incredibly different My Father a true entrepreneur in red yellow in every sense of the phrase was driven to build consulting firms and agencies that help salespeople refine their craft I sought the Collegiate path attending University at the University of Iowa leaning into my red blue nature while studying accounting and computer science I spent my free time in the computer lab pouring my soul into programs through my fingertips while I was studying my father perfected his wizard-like ability to understand people my father and I always remained close and spoke to each other most weeks even though we were at different milestones in our lives while I was studying at the University of Iowa my father sat me down and asked me about contributing to his Venture he asked what if we could couple your ability to develop software with my ability to analyze human behavior I was ambitious hungry for fun coding work and proceeded to embark on the most exciting journey of my life together we built a software system that would produce reports about human behavior this was a multiplying Factor soon we were able to reach more people and reveal a person's potential through 3.5 in floppy discs and 24 pitch reports my father and I built a company TTI success insights in 1984 in Iowa to do just that over time we escaped The Frigid Winters in the Midwest of the United States relocated ourselves our families and our business to sunny and warm Scots Arizona in the late '90s we began using the web for distribution of our Fain assessments today we have a thriving business with Distributors all over the world up until now you might have wondered why you are so different human behavior is for the most part complex and nebulous in some cases the people around us are idiotic understanding human behavior is a never-ending task and endless pursuit to know the how what and why behind a person's choices it is both easy and dangerous to categorize someone who behaves differently from you as ignorant wrong or even thickhead today's world requires a more sophisticated understanding where you value a person for his or her strengths and weaknesses my father has since passed on but the purpose we invoked to reveal human potential continues to live on this book is written about the concepts my father applied in sales trainings and applies them to an even more complex situation understanding the idiots who surround us all as you read I think you will understand the worth of a red a yellow a green in a blue I hope you will pull away some practical advice in communicating effectively with each type but the most important lesson that you can walk away with is that the idiots who surround you are in fact not idiots at all instead they are individuals worthy of respect understanding and being valued anyone can use the Frameworks outlined in this book to get ahead in the game of life and look at it this way if you don't understand and use the principles you'll continue to be surrounded by idiots and nobody wants that David bonad chief chief executive officer TTI success insights introduction the man who was surrounded by idiots I was in high school when I first noticed that I got along better with certain people rather than others it was easy to talk to some of my friends in any conversation we always found the right words and everything just flowed smoothly there were never any conflicts and we liked one another with other people however everything just went wrong what I said fell on deaf ears and I couldn't understand why why was speaking to some people so easy While others were total Blockheads since I was young this certainly wasn't something that kept me awake at night however I still remember puzzling over why some conversations flowed naturally While others didn't even start no matter how I conducted myself it was just incomprehensible I began using different methods to test people I tried to say the same things in similar contexts just to see what reaction I got sometimes it actually worked and an interesting discussion developed on other occasions nothing happened at all people just stared at me as if I were from another planet and sometimes it really felt that way when we're young we tend to think of things very simply because some people in my circle of friends reacted in a normal way that meant of course that they were automatically the good guys and so I just assumed there was something wrong with the people who didn't understand me what other explanation could there possibly be I was the same all the time certain people just had something wrong with them so I simply began to avoid these weird difficult people because I didn't understand them call it the N of Youth if you will but it did give rise to some amusing consequences in later years however all of this changed life went on with work family and career and I continued to pigeonhole people into two groups good and sensible people and all the rest the people who didn't seem to understand anything at all when I was 25 years old I met with a man who was self-employed now in his 60s Stuart had founded his own business and built it up for many years I was given a task of of interviewing him just before a new project was to be implemented we started talking about how things were functioning in his organization one of the very first comments Stuart made was that he was surrounded by idiots I remember laughing at the time because I thought it was a joke but he truly meant what he said his face turned Crimson as he explained to me that the people working in Department a were complete idiots every single one of them in Department B you found only fools who understood nothing at all and he hadn't even come to Department C yet they were the worst of all they were so weird that Stuart couldn't fathom how they even made it to work in the mornings the more I listened to him the more I realized that there was something very odd about this story I asked him if he really believed that he was surrounded by idiots he glared at me and explained that very few of his employees were worth having Stuart had no issue letting his employees know how he felt he didn't hesitate in the least to call anyone an idiot in front of the whole company this meant that his employees learned to avoid him no one dared to have onetoone meetings with him he never got to hear bad news because he would often shoot the messenger at one of the offices a warning light had even been mounted at the entrance to the building discreetly placed above the reception desk the light went red when he was there and turned green when he was away everyone knew about this not only staff but even clients would automatically cast a nervous glance at the light to find out what awaited them when they stepped over the threshold if the light was red some people would simply turn back at the door deciding to come back at a more opportune time as we all know when you're young you were full of great ideas so I asked the only question I could think of who hired all these idiots I knew of course that he had hired most of them what was worse was that stur understood exactly what I had implied what I implicitly asked was who is actually the idiot here Stu threw me out later on I was told that what he really wanted to do was fetch a shotgun and shoot me this incident got me thinking here was a man who would soon retire he was obviously a proficient entrepreneur High highly respected for his sound knowledge of his particular line of business but he couldn't handle people he didn't understand the most critical complicated resource in an organization the employees and anyone he couldn't understand was simply an idiot since I was from outside the company I could easily see how wrong his thinking was Stuart didn't grasp that he always compared people to himself his definition of idiocy was simply anyone who didn't think or act like him he used Expressions that I also used to use about certain types of people arrogant windbags red taped jackasses rude bastards and tedious Blockheads although I never called people idiots at least not so they could hear me I had obvious problems with certain types of people it was an utterly appalling thought to have to go through life constantly thinking that I was surrounded by people who were impossible to work with it would make my own potential in life so unbelievably limited I tried to see myself in the mirror the decision was easy to make I didn't want to be like Stewart after a particularly toxic meeting with him and some of his unfortunate colleagues I sat in the car with a lump in my stomach the meeting had been a total disaster everyone was Furious there and then I decided to learn what is probably the most important knowledge of all how people function I would be encountering people for the rest of my life no matter what my profession was and it was easy to see that I would benefit by being able to understand them I immediately began to study how to understand the people who initially seem so difficult why are some people silent why do others never stop talking why do some people always tell the truth While others never do why do some of my colleagues always arrive on time While others rarely manage to and even why did I like some people more than others the insights I gain were fascinating and I've never been the same since I began this journey the knowledge I acquired has changed me as a person as a friend as a colleague as a son as a husband and as the father of my children this book is about what is perhaps the world's most widely used method to describe the differences in human communication this method is called the dissa an acronym that stands for dominance inducement submission and analytic ability system these four terms are the primary Behavior types which describe how people sees themselves in relationship to their environment each of these Behavior types is associated with a color red yellow green and blue this system is also commonly called the dis system where the final letter of the acronym stands for compliance instead of analytic ability I have used variations of this tool for over 20 years with excellent results but how do you become really truly proficient at handling different types of people there are of course various methods the most common method is to research the matter and learn the basics but learning the theoretical part doesn't make you a world-class Communicator it's only when you begin using this knowledge that you can develop real and functioning competence in the field just like learning to ride a bike you have get on the bike first only then do you realize what you need to do since I began studying how people function and painstakingly strove to understand the differences in the way we communicate at I've never been the same I'm not as categorical anymore judging people just because they are not like me for many years now my patience with people who are the complete opposite of me has been far greater I wouldn't go so far as to say that I never get involved in conflicts just as I wouldn't try to convince you that I never lie but both these things happen very seldom now I have one thing to thank Stu for he awakened my interest in the subject without him this book would probably never have been written what can you do to increase your knowledge about how people relate and communicate a good start may be to keep reading this book the whole book not just the first three chapters with a little luck in a few minutes you can begin the same journey I began 20 years ago I promise you will not regret it one thing to note to simplify reading this book I have chosen to use him and he consistently when I refer to examples not associated with any specific person I know that you have enough imagination to insert her or she in your thoughts where this may be appropriate one communication happens on on the listener's terms does that sound strange let me explain everything you say to a person is filtered through his frames of reference biases and preconceived ideas what remains is ultimately the message that he understands for many different reasons he can interpret what you want to convey in a totally different way than you intended what is actually understood will naturally very depending on who you are speaking to but it is very rare that the entire message gets through exactly as you conceived it in your mind it may feel depressing knowing that you have so little control over what your listener understands no matter how much sense you would like to knock into the other person's head there's not that much you can do about it this is one of the many challenges of communication you simply can't change how The Listener functions however most people are aware of and sensitive to how they want to be treated by adjusting yourself to how other people want to be treated you become more effective in your communication why is this so important you help other people understand you by creating a secure arena for communication on on their terms then the listener can use his energy to understand rather than to consciously or unconsciously react to your manner of communicating all of us need to develop our flexibility and so be able to vary our style of communication adapting it when we speak to people who are different from us here we find another truth no matter what method you choose to communicate with as an individual you will always be in the minority no matter what kind of behavior you have the majority of people around you will function differently from you you can't just base your method of communication on your own preferences flexibility and the ability to interpret other people's needs is what characterizes a good communicator knowing and understanding another person's style of behavior and method of communication will result in more educated guesses about how a person may possibly react in various situations this understanding will also dramatically increase your ability to get through to the person in question no system is perfect let me be clear about one important point this book doesn't claim to be totally comprehensive with respect to how we as people communicate with with each other no book can do that because the number of signals we constantly transmit to those around us wouldn't fit into any book even if we could include body language the differences between male and female dialogue cultural differences and all the other ways to Define variations in communication we wouldn't be able to write everything down we could add psychological aspects graphology age and astrology and still not get a 100% complete picture according to the American Journal of business education July August 2013 more than 50 million assessments have been made using the disit tool and yet even with all this information communication remains a fascinating and puzzling topic people are not Excel spreadsheets we can't calculate everything we're way too intricate to be described in full even the youngest child is far more intricate than anything that could be conveyed in a book however we can avoid the most blatant blunders by understanding the basics of human communication it's been going on for a while we see what we do but we do not see why we do what we do thus we assess and appraise each other through what we see that we do these words come from the psychoanalyst Carl Yung different Behavior patterns are what creates dynamism in our lives when I refer to behavior patterns I don't just mean how a person acts in a single instance his actions but rather the whole set of attitudes beliefs and approaches that govern how a person acts we can recognize ourselves in certain Behavior patterns but other forms of behavior we neither recognize nor understand besides each of us acts differently in different situations which can be a source of either Joy or irritation for those around us though individual actions can of course be right or wrong there is really no pattern of behavior that is right or wrong there is no such thing as proper behavior or incorrect Behavior you are who you are and there's no point in wondering why you're fine no matter how you're wired no matter how you choose to behave no matter how you are perceived you are fine within reasonable limits of course in a perfect world it would be easy just to say I'm a particular kind of person and it's okay because I read it in a book that's just how I am and this is how I act sure wouldn't it be great not to have to mishandle your own behavior to always be able to act and behave precisely as you feel at the time you can do that you can behave exactly as you wish all you have to do is find the right situation in which to do so there are two situations in which you can just be you the first situation is when you're alone in a room then it doesn't matter how you speak or what you do it doesn't hurt anyone if you scream and swear or if you just want to sit silently and Ponder the great mysteries of life or wonder why fashion models always look so mad in your Solitude you can behave exactly the way you feel simple isn't it the second situation where you can completely be yourself is when all the other people in the room are exactly like you what did our mothers teach us treat others as you want to be treated excellent advice and very well intentioned and it works too as long as everyone is just like you all you need to do is make a list of all the people you know who believe think and act exactly like you in all situations now just give them a call and start hanging out in any other situation it might be a good idea to understand how you are perceived and to learn how other people function I don't think I will make Headlines by saying that most people you meet aren't like you words can have incredible power but the words we choose and how we use them vary as you have seen from the title of this book there are different interpretations of yes you got it words and when you use the wrong word well maybe then you're an idiot surrounded by idiots or not what does this actually mean as I was writing the following analogy hit me Behavior patterns are like a toolbox all types are needed depending on the occasion a tool can sometimes be right and sometimes be wrong a 30 lb Sledgehammer is great for tearing down walls but it's hardly the thing if you want to hang a picture in the foyer some people are opposed to the idea of sorting people into different Behavior types maybe you believe that you shouldn't categorize people in that way that it's wrong to pigeonhole people however everyone does it perhaps in another way than I do in this book but we all register our differences nonetheless the fact remains that we are different and in my opinion pointing that out can be something positive if you do it in the right way improperly used every tool can be harmful it's more about the person using it than the tool itself this book is your introduction to human behavior and dialogue the rest is up to you parts of what you are going to read I gathered from TTI success insights I would like to take this opportunity to thank sun gelberg and Edward levit for so generously sharing both their experience and their training materials no matter how strange it might seem in theory every kind of behavior is normal normal behavior is relatively predictable every person reacts in habitual manner in similar situations but it's impossible to predict every possible reaction before it happens is part of a pattern we often react in consistent patterns therefore we should respect one another's patterns and understand our own is changeable we should learn to listen act speak openly and reflect in order to do what is relevant right now everyone can adapt can be observed we should be able to observe and consider most forms of behavior without being amateur psychologists everyone can take note of the people around them is understandable we should be able to understand why people feel and do what they do right now everyone can think about why is unique despite the conditions that we have in common each person's behavior is unique to him succeed in your own conditions is excusable dismiss personal jealousy and complaints learn to have tolerance and patience both with yourself and with others two why are we the way we are where does our Behavior come from why are people so different search me very briefly It's a combination of heredity and environment even before we're born the foundations for the behavior patterns we will exhibit in adulthood have been laid the temperament and character traits we have inherited affect our Behavior a process already begun at the genetic stage exactly how this works is still a bone of contention among scientists but all are in agreement that it does come into play Not only do we inherit traits from our own parents but also from their parents also in varying degrees from other relatives at some point or other we have all heard that we speak like or look like an uncle or an aunt as a child I resembled my uncle burle something to do with my red hair to explain how this is genetically possible would take a tremendous amount of time for the moment let us just establish that this inheritance lays the foundation for our behavioral development what happens once we are born in most cases children are born impulsive adventurous without any barriers whatsoever a child does exactly what he wants the child says no I don't want to or sure I can he is immersed in the thought that he can manage just about anything at all this kind of spontaneous and sometimes uncontrolled behavior is of course not always what is parents wished for then hey Presto what was once an original pattern of behavior begins to transform in the best worst case scenario into a copy of someone else how are children influenced children learn and develop in multiple ways but the most common is by imitation a child mimics what he sees around him the parent of the same sex often becoming the model for imitation this is clearly not an exhaustive study on how the process works as this book is not about how we influence our children core values my core values are found deep within me values so deeply embedded in my character that it's almost impossible to change them these are the things I learned from my parents as a child or that I learned in school when I was very young in my case it was different variations of study and do well in school or fighting is wrong the latter for example means that I've never laid hands on another person I haven't fought since third grade and I seem to rec call that I lost then she was really strong another important core value is that all people are of equal worth because my parents demonstrated this to me during my childhood I know it is deeply wrong to judge a person based on his or her origin sex or color all of us carry many such core values we know instinctively what is right and what is not no one can take these core values away from me attitudes and approaches the next layer is my attitudes which are not exactly the same thing as core values attitudes are things I have formed opinions about based on my own experiences or on conclusions I have drawn from Encounters in the latter part of my schooling high school college or my first job even experiences later on in life can form attitudes a relative once told me that she didn't trust salespeople she's definitely not alone in having strong feelings about salespeople but in her case it resulted in comical practices she couldn't buy anything without returning it a sweater a sofa a car the buying process was endless every fact had to be examined and explored no matter how much research she did beforehand she always wanted to return her purchases afterwards once I had observed the pattern I asked her why she did this and she explained the reasoning behind her attitude 85% of all salespeople were swindlers explaining that I too was a salesperson had little effect to this day I don't know if I belong to the 85% or if I can count myself among the fortunate 15% the important thing is that an attitude can change my relative had probably been badly fooled a number of times and therefore learned to distrust salespeople however if she had a number of positive experiences her opinion could change the results both my core values and my attitudes affect how I choose my behavior together they form my core Behavior the real person I want to be my core behavior is how I act in complete freedom without the influence of any external factors at all you probably already see the issue here when are we ever completely free from external influences when I discuss this question with groups of people in different contexts we all usually agree only when we're sleeping but people are different some don't care they are always themselves because they've never reflected upon how they are perceived the stronger your self- understanding is the greater your probability of adapting to the people around you how do others really perceive me the people around you most often see your moderated Behavior you interpret a specific situation and make a choice about how to act based on that evaluation this is the behavior that others around you experience it's all about the mask you were to fit into a given situation we all have several different masks having one at work and one at home isn't that unusual and another one for visiting the in-law perhaps this book is not an advanced course in Psychology but I am content to establish that we interpret situations differently and act accordingly consciously or subconsciously surrounding factors cause me to choose a particular course of action and this is how we act look at the this formula Behavior equals F psf behavior is a function of personality and surrounding factors behavior is that which we can observe personality is what we try to figure out surrounding factors are things that we have an influence on conclusion we continually affect one another in some form or other the trick is to try to figure out what's there under the surface in this book is all about Behavior three an introduction to the system at the end of this book you will find a description of the background to how the disa system emerged but since you probably want to dive into its most interesting elements how everything works in practice you can just read on otherwise you can always go directly to page 228 as you can see there are four main categories of behavior types Each of which is associated with a color this book is about how you can recognize them quite soon as you start reading about the different colors various faces will come to mind sometimes maybe even your own about 80% of all people have a combination of two colors that dominate their behavior approximately 5% have only one color that dominates Behavior the others are dominated by three colors throughout the book I focus on the single colors individually because they are the fundamental components of a person's Behavior it's like a recipe we need to understand all the ingredients before we bake the cake entirely green Behavior or green in combination with one other color is the most common the least common is entirely red Behavior or red behavior in combination with one other color many people you need possess qualities that you sometimes wish you had you may even feel jealous of these people they easily Master things that you struggle with maybe you'd like to be more decisive like Reds or maybe you wish it were easier for you to interact with strangers like yellows possibly you wish that you didn't stress so much that you could just take it easy like greens do and perhaps you wish that you could keep your schedule in better order something that's natural for blues naturally it works the other way as well you are going to read things that will help you realize that you to boss others around a bit too much just like Reds tend to do or that you talk way too much something that yellows do it might be that you take things way too easy not getting involved in anything the Green's weakness or you're always suspicious of everything seeing risks everywhere just like Blues here you can learn to see your own pitfalls and how you can take appropriate measures to get around them no matter what you learn about yourself and others take notes underline things and engage with material four red Behavior how to recognize a real Alpha and avoid getting in his way what should we do we'll do it my way now this is the behavior type that hypocrates in his theory of human temperament called cheric nowadays you might call a red person bold ambitious driven but also potentially hot-tempered rash or dominant you quickly notice a red person because he doesn't make the slightest effort to conceal who he is a red person is a dynamic and driven individual he has goals in life that others may find difficult to even imagine since his goals are so highly ambitious achieving them seems to be impossible Reds strive forward always pushing themselves harder and they almost never give up their belief in their own ability is unsurpassed they carry inside them the firm belief that they can achieve anything if they just work hard enough people who have lots of red in their behavior are task-oriented extroverts and they enjoy challenges they make quick decisions and are often comfortable taking the lead and taking risks a common perception is that Reds are natural leaders these are people who willingly take command and go to the four they are so driven that they will get through despite any obstacle in their path their disposition is ideal in competitive situations it's not unusual for a CEO or a president to have lots of red in his behavior this form of competition is present in everything Reds do to say that they constantly want to challenge and compete is probably not entirely true but if a chance of winning something arises why not the exact nature of the competition is unimportant it's the competitive element that keeps Reds running on all cylinders pel one of my former neighbors liked competing so much that he developed entirely new interests just to compete I like working in the garden and so I spent quite some time doing so pel didn't like gardening but when he had heard people commenting on my beautiful garden often enough he finally had enough he started one project after another always with a single but very clear objective to out do me he confounded his wife by dating new flower beds planting a rainbow of unbelievably fabulous plants and cultivating the lawn to golf course standard the only thing I needed to do to keep him going was to merely suggest that I would purchase more plants then he would go to the local Garden Center quicker than you could say bad loser you can also recognize Reds by other Behavior patterns who talks the loudest Reds who goes all out when explaining something Reds who's always the first to answer a question Reds again who during an otherwise Pleasant dinner makes categorical comments on just about any topic and who will judge an entire country based on something he saw on television Reds something is always happening in the lives of red people they can't sit still idle time is wasted time life is short better get going immediately do you recognize the type always on the go so step aside let's get cracking tell me what you really think yes for real Reds have no problem being blunt when asked a specific question they often say exactly what they think without any Frills they see no need to wrap things up in a bunch of empty phrases when a thought pops into their heads everyone knows it immediately they have opinions on most things and they trop their thoughts out quickly and efficiently a common remark is that Reds are very honest because they dare to express their personal truths to people they don't really understand what the fuss is all about they've only said than things as they are if you need someone with extra energy you may want to invite a red into the team or project group they fight tirelessly along one others have already given up if they are determined to succeed that is a task that has become humdrum or meaningless could be totally ignored by a red I call this phenomenon SLO or split if the task is important enough a red will go through fire and water to complete it if he feels it has no purpose into the trash it goes can I win something in that case I'm in so Reds like competing they appreciate the slight antagonism that is part of being competitive and the Glorious moment of winning they even enjoy winning competitions that probably don't even exist except perhaps in their own mind it can be passing a slow Walker on the street finding the absolutely best parking spot or dominating the family game of Monopoly despite the fact that the purpose of the game is to entertain the kids and none of the other adults are actually competing for a red this is all natural because he sees himself as a winner let me give you an example I once worked for a company where the CEO was red he was energetic and efficient and consequently incredibly Dynamic no meetings were as short and sweet as those run by the CEO but his weak spot was the competitive element as a young man he had played soccer and every spring at this particular workplace they held a soccer tournament it was very popular even before he joined the company naturally he had to take part no other CEO before him had ever done so but that was the problem the problem was that as soon as he got out on the field he became a different person on fire with his competitive drive he flattened anyone who stood in his way this continued for a few years until someone had the guts to tell him that he played just a little bit too rough the game wasn't supposed to be that serious the CEO didn't understand he grabbed the latest flyer for the game and pointed out that it was called a soccer tournament tournaments are competitions and if you compete you are in it to win simple he competed in traffic on the side soccer field in business no area was too insignificant not to become a competition he even raced to see how quickly he could finish reading a book what others do for relaxation he transformed into a competition 100 Pages an hour was a reasonable Pace his wife had even banned him from playing a memory card game with his children who were five and six years old since they had better memories than he did they won most of the time and in his frustration he intimidated them before you conclude that this guy sounds rather unsympathetic we need to look at his intentions this kind of intensive and competitive Behavior often upsets other people because they think it is all about dominating and suppressing others nothing could be further from the truth his intentions were almost never malicious he just wanted to win this is one of the greatest challenges for Reds it's not uncommon that other people feel irritated or intimidated by them because they're such powerful personalities later on in this book I will share some simple ways that you can deal with these individuals time is money quick is synonymous with good for Reds if you are in a meeting and suddenly notice that one of the other participants is devoting his time to something completely different it may well be a red who has lost interest if you look closer you will realize that his thoughts are Elsewhere on the next step in the process being discussed for example because Reds are quick thinkers they move on long before everyone else few things annoy Reds more than sluggishness if a meeting or a discussion drags on he may interrupt and ask if it's really necessary to prolong the issue we've already discussed this for 20 minutes get it together it's only a few million in Investments how hard can it be if you think about it they're often right when other people may find it difficult to make a decision Reds are prepared to make quick decisions in order to keep things moving with a red on the team nothing will be discussed at infinum after all it's always better to do something rather than nothing right the advantage is obvious we're talking about people who never waste time on anything that doesn't move move forward as soon as a task becomes unclear or is taking too long a red will ensure that the momentum is maintained and spur things along Chop Chop done in double time about 15 years ago I began working for a small consulting company with about a dozen employees it was a polished organization with a great spirit of Entrepreneurship and excellent momentum in business dealings one of the reasons why they were so efficient was because the founder of the company was a red nothing could move too quickly for Joe RN no meeting took longer than absolutely necessary in my second or third week in a new job I was sitting in a traffic jam when my cell phone rang I looked at the display and saw that it was Joe RN I answered the way I'd been instructed to when I started at the company with a greeting my name and the company name impatiently he interrupted me and spit out his question were you looking for me no I replied and took a deep breath ready to say something else I didn't get the chance okay he said and hung up 8 Seconds unpleasant well at the time we didn't really know each other however I must admit that the whole episode had me worried a little at least on that occasion only 3 weeks at the company and the Big Chief himself calls and sounding irritated when we'd gotten to know each other and I learned that Joe RN was red I asked him why he was so abrupt on the phone of course he didn't even remember the call but he said he was probably just trying to find out if I was looking for him when he learned I wasn't there was no further need to talk wait wasting time on polite flowery phrases or drawn out farewells wasn't for him but at the same time here was a person with a capacity to work far more than normal Joe RN managed to do more in an average working day than most people he still has an exceptional ability to make the most of any free time if he has a gap of 5 minutes in his schedule he manages to squeeze in an email a phone call and go through some meeting minutes from the outside this may seem like an unnecessary pursuit of efficiency but a red detests inactivity than things must happen add to this a sense of constant urgency and a great deal will get done the sky is the limit or is it for a red a realistic budget is a budget for cowards if we don't push ourselves to the breaking point we haven't tried hard enough Reds love difficult tasks so their level of ambition is usually boundless the ability to manage difficult situations and challenges is the defining attribute of red behavior when a person with red traits sets his goals several things happen first he wants to know how well a specific task under the most favorable conditions could be performed if all 19 parameters were met and we all gave it a little extra effort the results would be phenomenal this means that anything below that impossible level of Excellence is boring because there's at least a remote possibility of that result being achieved Nothing is Impossible The Impossible just takes a little longer more than likely it was a red who came up with that expression naturally it's also about the type of project it's not enough just to set an impossible sales budget if a red doesn't like sales he'll ignore the budget since he prefers to make all the decisions himself he probably won't be fooled into doing something he doesn't feel like doing red set higher demands on themselves than any of the other colors would and they are always prepared to work hard I wouldn't go so far as to say that no other color works as hard as Reds do but I would venture to say that a red would give anyone a run for his money ambition which is intrinsic to Reds shouldn't be confused with a lust for power Reds have no problem taking positions of power since they are fearless expressions like it's lonely and windy at the top don't scare them but for a red power is not an end in itself it does however come in handy for those who like to make their own decisions and avoid having to wait for others a red can in fact be quite unassuming it's true that he has a strong ego but status and Prestige don't have the same importance as with other colors the reason is simple a red usually doesn't care what others think he's not not here for their sake he's here for his own let me tell you how things really are a red gives everything he's got when he has an opinion about something or if he wants the rest of us to agree with him he pulls out all the stops once I was in a meeting with a large number of people who didn't know one another that well it was a gathering of Consultants who were meeting to discuss a potential collaboration it was in the middle of a recession and we were all concerned about the lack of Direction while we were waiting for the chairperson to arrive we chatted a little about everything at one end of the table sat Elizabeth who had strong opinions about everything in an unequivocal voice she suddenly stated that the company was still expected to earn over $50 million a week despite the recession about 15 Consultants all highly trained reflective and intelligent people nodded in agreement just imagine $50 million per week while Elizabeth expanded on how the situation ought to be resolved in a Consulting world I began thinking about the figures a little bit not knowing where these figures came from I remained silent it could be true it could also be far-fetched I honestly didn't know while waiting for the meeting to begin officially I started calculating how much $50 million per week would be per year I didn't have enough paper after the meeting I got the answer to my speculations I was in a taxi on my way to my next meeting when the driver turned on the radio in the news it was announced that the company in question was expected to earn between $2 and 2.5 million per week I realized ized that Elizabeth had gotten the information from the news I also understood that $2 or $2.5 million per week was far more realistic than the $50 million that she had referred to but wait a minute a little reconciliation with reality is needed here why didn't anyone react mil one in the room lifted a finger or called her information into question why because she sounded so convincing her facial expression was definite her countenance was determined and her voice did not quiver in the least when she presented her figures that's the way Reds function when they believe something they let people know that this is the only truth that exists now maybe there are some sticklers for detail who might claim that this is deceptive since we now know that the company earned $2.5 million a week and not roughly $50 million but I'm convinced that Elizabeth really believed what she said she had things turned around no doubt about that and she was certainly not interested in details but my point is that by sounding utterly confident when she declared that the company was earning 6 months Revenue per week we all fell for it or in the words of a good friend of mine there are two ways to do this my way in the wrong way only dead fish go with the flow Reds are both groundbreaking and strong willed why not also add results oriented and decisive when we're at it for Reds it's not sufficient to do things like everyone else does and just because it's tough doesn't mean we should avoid doing it Reds aren't afraid to make decisions when everyone else has hesitates thinking in weighing the risks or red makes the controversial decision or Red's determination is usually unyielding one sees decided then it's full steam ahead their fearlessness dares them to tackle things that make others hesitate this is usually evident when things get rough and they are undaunted by tough choices or tricky decisions it is no coincidence that many entrepreneurs are Reds setting up new businesses especially if they are based on completely new business Concepts is in our current economy not for the faint of it's not a bad thing to have a force of nature in a driver's seat it takes a strong mind to move things forward someone who understands that risks that are part of everyday life and that everything boils down to hard work from morning to night for many years Reds understand this from the beginning and are in no way intimidated by it do you need someone to pursue a problem in your apartment complex maybe you've gotten on the wrong side of your landlord who says that there is absolutely nothing wrong with your heat or maybe the contractor who repaired the roof and installed the new elevators was negligent and won't take responsibility for it anytime you try to get things straightened out you've been brought to standstill by a barricade of unanswered calls and info at addresses you're just about to give up when you suddenly remember the guy on the second floor living above you isn't he kind of red wasn't he the one who dared to go against the super at the last meeting and get the trash policy changed yes that's the guy throw the guy from the second floor into the process and then you'll see things begin to happen you might have to motivate him a little explaining that he has a lot to gain from himself but he will make things happen he'll subdue the landlord and get the contractor in line and he won't lose any sleep just because someone got angry with him in the process generally speaking a red strengths are very powerful they are extremely clear in their communication and you don't have to look far to identify red behavior of course over the years many Reds learn to restrain themselves somewhat but it doesn't usually last very long they'll be back to full throttle and all that that entails it wasn't better before onward and upward a red doesn't try to stick to his original point of view when he realizes that a better solution exists he is a quick thinker and has no problem shifting his ground at short notice one of the advantages of this is that he doesn't reject other people's ideas if he has none himself it's worth looking into anything that can Propel development forward sometimes decisions can come a little bit too quickly but the will to constantly change creates a strong dynamism and flexibility if anything has been static for a long time maybe a few weeks he will turn things up a notch some people may find this stressful but when you ask a red why he changed something that was actually working the answer could well be because I could naturally there are also downsides Reds get bored with the status quo quickly and so they change it the people around them have no idea what will happen next when greens and blues have just gotten used to the new organization and think they have finally grasped how things are supposed to work well a red will have already outline the next step conclusions on red Behavior so what do you think do you know any Reds do you have any around you if you want to get to know some famous red people consider Steve Jobs FDR Venus Williams or Margaret Thatcher there's also Barack Obama and Mother Teresa oh yes it's true if you consider Mother Teresa's Deeds the strength she needed and whom she had to deal with the world's foremost leaders to achieve what she did then you'll realize that she was extremely determined and forceful a typical red profile five yellow Behavior how to recognize someone whose head is in the clouds and get him back to reality again that sounds fun let me do it in the hypocracy a person with a bright outlook on life the thesaurus even suggests the epithet a man of possibilities how about that it is in fact an excellent description of yellow behavior these are people who live to live always finding opportunities for enjoyment life is a banquet and yellow will see to it that they savor every bite they are driven by marment and laughter and why not the sun is always shining somewhere do you know anyone who sees Sunshine where others see dark clouds have you met anyone who can laugh even though he hasn't had any good news for months then you've met a yellow have you been at a party and wondered why everyone flocks around a particular person man or woman well in the center of the circle there's a yellow entertaining anyone who wants to laugh yellows make sure that the atmosphere is at its Zenith so that every event becomes a marvelous party when something is no longer fun they move on to another place where the atmosphere is better recognizing a yellow is easy he's the one who's talking all the time he's the one who gives answers rather than asking questions often answering questions that no one has even asked he answers a question by telling a story that may or may not have anything to do with the issue but it really doesn't matter because he will put you in a cheerful mood besides his his unshakably positive attitude also makes it impossible for you to feel upset for long I would even go so far as to argue that yellows are more popular than other colors how can I say that look for yourself they entertain put people in a good mood and fun things always happen around them they know how to capture everyone's attention and how to keep it they make us feel important they are just nice to be around they are also very typically touchy feely people like Reds yellows are very willing to make quick decisions but they can rarely explain why using rational reasoning a more likely response would be it just felt right and sure gut feelings shouldn't be underestimated Studies have shown that gut feelings are right more often than we think but that's not the kind of gut feeling we're talking about here yellows often make decisions that are based on feelings simply because no thought was ever involved I have a sister who is yellow Marita is so easygoing in her manner that I have never heard anyone utter a single negative word about her never I I may be biased but I have never met anyone who doesn't immediately like her she has an entirely unique ability to connect with every person she meets Marita always has something entertaining to say however some of these things are so peculiar that I sometimes have to ask her what she was thinking when she said them with a burst of laughter she usually replies thinking I wasn't in many ways it's liberating When I visit her and her husband Leaf their almost incomprehensible ability to see bright spots and everything around them is so delightful that it frees my own easygoing disposition I am never as happy and exhilarated as when I visit them for years I wondered why this was and have reached the conclusion that yellow behavior is simply contagious if I say to my sister it looks like it is going to rain she simply replies I can't imagine that pointing to the window I say to her but look it's actually raining it is quite dark out there we could have thunder before this is over sure she says but after that the sun will come out just wait and see then she laughs again while the rain pours outside she sits on the sofa unabashedly having fun and I along with everyone else laugh along because it's impossible to resist the more the merrier your friends are my friends people with lots of yellow in their behavior are focused on creating relationships they are outgoing and can be extremely persuasive they're enthusiastic excited and happy to talk about their feelings for others and not infrequently for complete strangers yellows can talk to anyone they are not at all shy perceiving most people they meet as pleasant they even see strangers in a positive light they're just friends you haven't met yet many people notice that yellows are always smiling and laughing that's undoubtedly one of a yellow strengths their optimism is Invincible comments about how everything is going to hell are often met by remarks about what a beautiful view we have just like Reds yellows have lots of energy they find most things interesting and yellow individuals are the most curious people you'll ever meet everything new is enjoyable and a great deal of yellow energy is spent finding new ways of doing things who gets the most holiday cards do you think yellows most contacts in their cell phone that's right yellows most friends on Facebook you're getting the idea yellows they have friends absolutely everywhere and they are excellent at keeping in touch with everyone in order to keep up to date yellows want to know what's going on they want be where it's all happening and they will make sure to be at every party isn't it amazing I just live it to bits if there is anything that characterizes yellow Behavior it's unlimited optimism and enthusiasm few things can keep their good mood away for long the yellow's entire being is concentrated on one thing finding opportunities and Solutions in his day hypocrates called yellows the sanguin ones this simply means optimists nothing is really a problem it will all sort itself out it's neither here nor there that the world just happens to be full of worries and hardships with their incurably positive outlook on life yellow individuals give joy to the people around them with their cheerful acclamations and entertaining jokes I don't know where yellows get their tremendous energy but it's focused on having fun and devoting themselves to social togetherness everyone must be involved and a yellow will not allow anyone to be gloomy Mike a good friend of mine is yellow and his life has included more than his fair share of challenges his wife left him his children have had problems at school and on various occasions his employers have gone bankrupt and he has lost his job I can't even count how many times he's had a car accident his home has been burgled or he has been robbed of expensive items sometimes I hardly dare to answer the phone when I see that Mike is calling to tell the truth Mike is the most jinxed man I have ever met but what's so curious about him is that none of this ever seems to bother him naturally he's upset when accidents happen but he can't stay upset for long periods of time inside he just bought bubbles along most of the time I remember one occasion when we were both quite young he had just bought an old ow for Romeo it was a two seater with two doors painfully Rusty it was nothing short of a miracle that it even held together Mike had the car for about a week when he hit a lamp post and couldn't get out on the driver's side when I heard about the accident I was worried and called to see if he was okay his answer it was fine I just got out the other door the optimistic consultant strikes again since yellow individuals are so positive and cheerful they spread joy and warmth to those around them with their uncontrollable optimism they demolish all opposition quite effectively who can be upset when there's someone pointing out the good things all the time how could anyone fail to be inspired by a person who refuses to see half empty glasses who always sees the positive one of my customers is a sales director for a pharmaceutical company Maran worked her way up in the company via what we call the long route her managers and co-workers ERS all agree that she's been so successful simply due to one thing her amazing ability to inspire those around her on a number of occasions I've watched her conduct sales meetings I consider myself a decent motivator but when marann gets going you just have to take your hat off to her within a couple of minutes the room is so inspired if she were to ask the sellers to jump out the window they'd do it even though they are on the fifth floor she makes everything sounds so simple it's a great idea to jump out the window we can do this let's jump and the group jumps after her with her optimism and bright outlook on life she is phenomenal at getting people to achieve great feats just by closing their eyes to anything negative with sheer inspiration she can inflate people's confidence to incredible levels I once saw her dealing with an IRA customer who felt mistreated by her organization not a situation most people dream about it turned out it wasn't a problem for Maran by just smiling steadfastly at the customer and refusing to listen to his negative comments she moved him from from an angry face to a gentle smile and finally to boisterous laughter how could that happen I don't think that even she could explain the underlying process it simply came naturally to her what happens if we turn everything upside down you won't find anyone more resourceful than a yellow if there's anything yellows have an aptitude for it's seeing Solutions where others do not yellows have a unique ability to twist and turn things to put it simply they turn everything upside down and think outside the box call it what you want but their thinking doesn't always follow any set pattern they move quickly the yellow's intellect is very fast which means that it can be difficult to keep up sometimes they can even find it difficult to explain their wild ideas a good friend of mine likes to work on his home everything relating to interior design and garden design fascinates him I suspect that Rob ban would secretly rather work in design on a full-time basis instead of his actual job I've seen this for myself but I've also heard from his wife how he goes about things he walks around the garden and she starts counting backwards from 10 on seven roban says honey I have an idea there are a few reasons for Robin's creativity it's easy for him to think in images he can simply see things in front of him long before they even exist and he has courage he's not afraid to try new things or to talk about them usually his mouth Works parallel to his mind as he discovers these ideas I've worked with a yellow who couldn't even cross the street without coming up with a few really thought provoking business ideas just by looking around how does this work I don't really know for a long time we asked him to write down his proposals you'll learn more about how a yellow would react to that kind of structure when we start talking about weaknesses yellows are also helped by the fact that they rarely have any limitations a yellow dares to go beyond the usual conventions when he's in a creative mode normally of course structure and hierarchy in a business are kind of limitation but yellows are rarely concerned about such things in fact they often don't seem to know that such limitations are there need help with new suggestions or ideas hunt out the most yellow person you know are you stuck in the same way of thinking do you need a new perspective on an old problem speak to a yellow you might not be able to use whatever idea scheme they come up with in fact realism isn't a factor for a yellow but one thing can lead to another and then all of a sudden you have something that works selling snow to a penguin with all their energy and optimism yellows are very persuasive it's easy for them to get carried away seeing opportunities and solutions where others might only see a dead end it's often said that there's a difference between convincing and persuading and many yellows cross these boundaries but what they say sounds so good with the help of language they really are Masters at winning over people to their side regarding language as I describe in the chapter on body language page 106 most yellows have a rich and varied way of gesticulating so that they can convince you not just with their words but with their entire bodies but it's not just energy and will yellows have a unique way of expressing themselves that sways their listeners they often use Vivid and colorful imagery when they speak which appeals to all five senses and creates an impression that is felt by the whole body without even knowing it many yellows are skilled rhetoricians they know instinctively that their ethos the bearer of the message is just as important as the message itself therefore they are mindful of getting through to you as an individual usually by being friendly and shaking your hand making small personal comments making you feel important many politicians are phenomenal at this think of Bill Clinton for instance he has the kind of Charisma that is naturally present in many yellows a noticeable interest in another person the ability to ask exactly the right questions so that others feel that they are important I know lots of people all of them in fact if yellows aren't allowed to cultivate their relationships they will slowly wither and die Okay this may be somewhat exaggerated but the very definition of yellow Behavior avior revolves around their ability to build relationships the yellow traits are inspirational they Inspire those around them and the best way to achieve this is through building relationships a yellow knows that by far the most important factor in business for example is relationships if your customer doesn't feel positively about you it will be difficult to make any Headway yellows know everyone they have more acquaintances than everyone else they like everyone a yellow doesn't need to know a person very well before calling him his friend anyone who doesn't actively dislike them may consider to be a pal remember that when Reds ask what is going to be done yellows want to know immediately who will do it this question is crucial for yellows if the team or group does not function smoothly a yellow will not feel well he needs functioning relationships for him to come into his own conclusions on yellow Behavior what do you think have you ever met a real yellow famous people who exhibit clear yellow traits include Oprah Winfrey Robin Williams Ellen generous and to take some fictional examples Pippen from The Lord of the Rings and Han Solo from Star Wars six green Behavior why change is so difficult and how to get around it how are we going to do this it's not urgent right the green person is the most common you'll meet him virtually everywhere what's the easiest way to explain who he is well I would like to describe him as being the average of all the other colors please don't interpret that as something negative keep in mind what this truly implies while Reds are stressed performance Seekers yellows are creative bon vivant guys and blues are perfectionist Knights of Excel spreadsheets see Pages 13 and 14 greens are the most balanced they counterbalance the other more extreme behavioral traits in an elegant way hypocrates called them fmatic people the Aztecs called them Earth people calm leisurely and easy going are some words that could also describe them it's just a matter of stating the facts not everyone can or should be extreme otherwise we would never get anything done if everyone were a driven leader there would be no one left to be led if everyone were an enthusiastic Entertainer there would be no one to amuse and if everyone were a detail oriented perfectionist there wouldn't be anything to keep in order this means that greens don't stick out in the same way as others do and they often lend Serenity to a situation where Reds and yellows start off in Top Gear greens are significantly calmer and where Blues get caught up in details greens try to feel their way to what is right if you have a friend who is Green he'll never forget your birthday he won't begrudge of your successes and he won't try to take the spotlight Off You By reeling off his own stories he won't try to outdo you and he will never pester you with new and drastic demands nor will he see you as a competitor if you were ever placed in that situation he won't take command unless he has been told to do so and he won't just a minute please you might be thinking that's just a lot of things he doesn't do so what does he do you can't ignore the fact that greens are more passive than others they're not as driven as Reds not as resourceful as yellows and not as orderly as blues this describes most of the population for this very reason they are easy to deal with they let you be yourself they don't demand much and they never kick up a fuss unnecessarily children with green features are usually described as being little angels they eat when they're supposed to they sleep when they're supposed to they do their homework when they're supposed to but it's not just that greens will not offend people if they can avoid it they'd rather not offend anyone at all and they won't talk back if the boss makes a strange decision at least not to his face that is during the coffee break it may be somewhat different but more on that later they usually strive to fit in which makes them more balanced people they're ideal for calming down confused yellows for example and they're excellent at warming up Blues who on occasion can indeed be a tad too cold we often hang out with a family where the husband is yellow and loves to horse around and take Center Stage he comes up with amusing games and is more than happy to answer any questions himself everyone else is his audience and he never steps out of the spotlight his wife is green calm composed and as laid-back as can be when he jumps around and frolics these are middle-aged people she sits quietly on the sofa and smiles she's just as entertained as everyone else by his Antics when I ask her if she ever gets tired of her comical husband she sometimes replies quietly but he's having so much fun this is a typical green trait they are very tolerant towards other people's more singular behavior is the picture becoming clearer greens are the people you might not think about most of us that is some simple Basics green people are kindness personified you can expect a helping hand whenever you need it they are pronounced relational people who will do everything within their power to save your relationship and they will invest lifelong they will keep track of when your birthday is when your partner birthday is when your children's birthdays are Etc it wouldn't surprise me if they even know when your cat first saw the light of day it's often said that greens are the best listeners and this is true a green will always be more interested in you than in himself and if per chance he should be interested in himself he would never dream of showing it you often find Greens in the public sector where they help others with no concern for personal gain they are also pronounced team players the team the group the family always comes before the individual and I even say that societies consisting of greens will always take care of the sick and the weak they will not leave a friend in need you can call them at any time they always offer a shoulder to cry on change isn't their greatest strength even though change isn't completely foreign to them if you can simply justify the change and give him enough time even a green will be prepared to try new things but a green will remind you that you always know what you have but you never know what you might end up with the grass is not automatically greener on the other side so to speak the best pal in the world as I've already said these are naturally friendly people when they tell you that they sincerely care about how you're doing you can trust that they lie awake Sleepless for your sake just like yellows greens are relationship people and their interest in others is genuine and authentic if you ask a group of people if anyone is prepared to lend a hand and no one steps up to help a green will jump in and Shout choose me why because he didn't want to leave you in the Lurch he knows that if you don't get any help you'll feel bad and even though he can be pass he's always prepared to help a friend I still remember a young woman I worked with at a consulting firm years ago admittedly Maya was certainly blue as well but above all she was green her problem was obvious when someone asked for help she always said yes every time it was difficult to find her desk due to her workload but she organized everything in the end we could always rely on her assistance handling all the things the rest of us had simply forgotten about she had a warm and friendly smile so we asked her to work in resp reception and have the first contact with new clients she never failed to serve coffee fix the cushions or keep track of how long clients had been waiting Maya never forgot anyone's birthday or anniversary or their wives or children's for that matter she frequently sent short emails to all of us stressed out Consultants reminding us that we had families who also needed to be looked after sure we could take care of our own lives but in her kindness and thoughtfulness Maya went out of her way to help it was natural for her and whenever we asked her to take it easy and take care of her for a change she almost felt offended she wanted to take care of us it simply made her feel good of course there were limits and Maya constantly ran the risk of someone taking advantage of her huge heart but when properly balanced this selflessness is a beautiful quality greens do this naturally when having coffee it's quite normal for you to ask the people with you if they would like a refill when other colors would likely take their empty cups to the coffee maker greens would simply fetch the coffee caraffe and refill everyone's cup but green wants wants to stay on good terms with everyone so he'll even help people he doesn't really like that much otherwise there might be some kind of HBL he thinks well of most people and is confident in others abilities sometimes he does this so intensely that it ends badly but normally that's the fault of the other person not the green himself he is so good-hearted that now and then others can take advantage of him lass a good friend of mine is a truly genuine friend it makes no difference how much he has to do if anyone needs a helping hand lass is there ready to support him sometimes in lass's eagerness to help with other people's work he even forgets to do his own on weekends he drives his own and others children everywhere they want to go he helps people move he lends out his tools without people even needing to ask he listens if you call and complain about something this all takes a huge amount of time but he enjoys it once they've said they'll do something you can rest assured that it will be done if a green says that he will do something you can be confident that he'll do it if it's in his power to deliver he will it won't be done in the shortest amount of time possible but it will show up in your inbox roughly within the expected time frame greens don't want to be caught failing to deliver as this might cause trouble for others and because they're good team players they don't want to do anything that can cause problems for the team team comes before self the team being the company crew football team or family for the green it's natural to look after everyone else around them the reason why everyone works so well with greens is a topic for debate in some situations it's simply because they don't like conflict mostly however it's because they're controlled by their desire to make those around them happy and satisfied if they can please you with a job well done they'll do it the desire to please others verges on being a driving force for greens It comes naturally and requires no effort and this selflessness is accompanied by an exalted Serenity that lowers the stress level of those around them we don't want any unpleasant surprises it's good to know what's going to happen every time you can always count on a green person in some organizations it's a requirement to have reliable employees creativity and Ingenuity are not at the top of the wish list in short you simply need people who understand the job and get it done without a lot of fuss or drama then you hire greens they constitute the stable core who will do the job well they don't have problems taking orders as long as the orders are formulated in an appealing fashion greens enjoy stability and a certain predictability in or place or or in the home or with the family just about everywhere whenever trouble is brewing maybe due to a recession or when new managers take over will see all kinds of interesting behavior in a group Reds who never listen to the whole message just rush off to do what they believe needs to be done unless of course they're busy yelling at the management because they don't agree with their decisions yellow start wild discussions and inform absolutely everyone about their take on what happened instead of working they'll debate the news until it's time to leave the office blues will sit at their desks and begin the bureaucratic paperwork formulating half a million questions that no one knows the answers to yet greens they just murmur if the management has avoided seriously sabotaging their sense of security they'll trundle on without complaining there's no point in making a lot of fuss and bother about it might as well keep doing what you were before this in fact makes things much easier we'll get to how we help greens to change direction but they're great at keeping calm and carrying on you'll always know how a green will respond to some questions because he doesn't change his opinion very often a few years ago I coached Gregor he had been a CEO for several years and his management team consisted solely of Green Middle managers he used to enjoy playing a little game when launching new ideas he wrote little notes with the answers he thought he would get from each person no from Anna yes from Stefan maybe from burle right every time Gregor knew them very well and knew how they would react to his proposals this wouldn't have been the case with yellows they don't even know how they're going to respond when opportunities arise exciting sure but it's exhausting for those around them with green Associates however you don't need to worry who me I'm not important forget that you even saw me for every Green the group will always come first team before self remember that this is a fundamental Truth for a green in it shouldn't be challenged too strongly the working group the team the club and the family all these different groups are important for a green he often disregards his own needs if the group gets what it needs you may think that groups consist of people and if each individual is satisfied the group as a whole will be content this might happen but then the focus would be individual rather than Collective the way a green sees it if the group feels good every individual also feels good here the Green's thoughtfulness becomes apparent he has infinite regard for those around him this is partly the reason why it's difficult to get a straight answer from a green he's always trying to satisfy everyone else let me tell you a rather striking Story one Sunday a few years ago a colleague whom I didn't know that well called me I had only been working with Christopher for a few months but I hadn't really figured the guy out yet so when he called me one Sunday morning I was surprised I saw who it was but I had no idea what he wanted from me he greeted me pleasantly and asked what I was doing I had just bought a new house at that time and was busy renovating kristofer asked what was on the agenda this particular Sunday and I remember that I said I was worried about the boiler it was early winter the temperature was just below freezing and one of the circulation pumps didn't really work as it should because Colder Weather was definitely on the way I wondered if the pump could cope with a major cold snap being a green kristoffer asked a number of questions and gave me lots of good advice he'd once had a similar boiler and besides he knew a plumber whom he might be able to ask to come by and have a look if I was interested of course kristofer and I chatted for a while and I became increasingly puzzled about why he had actually called me he asked me where I lived I gave him the address and he promised to write it down and give it to his plumber friend then as a kind of by the way he asked me if I had any plans to go into town that day I lived about 25 miles from the office and hadn't intended to go to work that Sunday I explained this to Christopher we chatted a little while longer and in the end I finally asked him straight out what he really wanted then he revealed that he was standing outside the office in his T-shirt because he had accidentally locked himself out when he had popped out to fetch some lunch I looked at the thermometer 30° with light snow we'd been talking for about 15 minutes I got into the car and saved him from freezing to the Bone everyone else is more important a green never asks for anything I know exactly what you mean they say greens are introverts that is that they're active in their inner world this means that they don't talk just for the sake of talking when you are quieter than those around you it's natural that you listen and greens will listen they are interested in you and your ideas unlike Reds who only listen when there is something to be gained from it or yellows who usually don't listen at all although they will normally deny this fact greens hear what you're actually saying they have a genuine ear for human problems they might not offer any suggestions or Solutions but they understand what you've told them don't assume that means that they agree with you you but they are good listeners so far you have probably tried to puzzle all the pieces together where do the different colors fit in what kind of job would be best for each of them these are good questions even if there are no simple answers one observation that often arises when I work with these issues in different organizations is that Reds and yellows in particular must be good at retail and selling this is true for sure but greens are often overlooked we always teach salespeople to talk less and listen more something green greens already do quite naturally Helena was a seller I coached a few years ago she was green and very gentle in her ways most people didn't understand how she survived in that daunting industry but I have a theory she once told me about a timelin she met a tough chief executive everyone had tremendous respect for no one in the entire company had managed to sell anything to him but after a little coaching from me heleno was determined to have a go so she arranged a meeting they ran into each other in the parking lot at the restaurant where they were to meet for lunch the stern executive cruised into the lot in a vintage car from the late ' 60s beautiful shiny and obviously very special Helena said the only thing she could think of wow do you like cars asked the Executive before they had even greeted each other Helena nodded then he told her about the car how much he had spent to restore it the paintwork in Alloys the engine he showed her what it looked like under the hood Helena nodded and murmured approval and hoped he wouldn't ask her any question questions since she couldn't tell the difference between a Ford and a Chevrolet but she didn't interrupt she just listened after that it was easy they sat down and he asked to see the sales agreement how did she do it by doing nothing at all except for one thing listening he signed before the food was even served conclusions on green Behavior okay do you have any greens in your family highly likely Mr Rogers Gandhi Michelle Obama and Jimmy Carter are some well-known people with elements of grain and yes Jesus there's a guy who knew how to help others seven blue behavior in pursuit of perfection why are we doing this what's the science behind it the last of the four colors is an interesting fellow you've probably met him he doesn't make a fuss about himself but he does keep tabs on what is happening around him while a green will just go with the flow a blue has all the right answers in the background he analyed izes classifies evaluates assesses you know you've met a blue if you visit someone's home and everything is organized in a particular way clear labels and names on each hook so that the children will know exactly where to hang up their jackets dinner menus divided into six we intervals to ensure a balanced diet stuck on the refrigerator door if you look at his tools you'll find that everything has its own spot and nothing is out of place why a blue DIY guy always puts things back where they belong he is also a pessimist sorry realist he sees errors and he sees risks he's the melancholic who closes the circle of behavior reserved analytical and detail oriented are some words you might associate with a blue excuse me but that's not quite accurate we all have a friend like that think about it you're sitting in a restaurant with your friends you're discussing Cats football or space Rockets someone throws out a random comment it may be your red friend who claims that the Patriots have been to the Super Bowl 11 times it can be the yellow who cheerfully claims that as a child he lived in the same block as Will Smith in West Philly your blue buddy clears his throat and in a gentle voice says that the Patriots have actually only been to the Super Bowl 10 times with their first appearance after the 1985 season and eight times since 2001 and that Will Smith actually grew up in Winfield which is well north of the Block in question and a half hour walk from the lovely Centennial Arboretum in addition without blinking an eye the good friend adds it's interesting to note that in a Super Bowl pregame coin toss of the past 51 games the outcome has been taals 27 times and heads 24 times and based on past statistics the winner of the coin toss is slightly less likely to win the game overall you just have to give up boys this guy simply knows everything he doesn't make a big deal about it but his way of presenting facts makes it difficult for you to call them into question he knows where he found the info and can go fetch the book to prove it that's the way it is with Blues they know how things stand before they open their mouth they've Googled read the owner's manual and checked the dictionary and afterwards they present a report in full but an important thing to note if the question doesn't come up it's unlikely that your blue buddy will say anything on the subject he has no need to tell everyone about what he knows of course a BL doesn't know everything no one can but you can usually Bank on the fact that what he says is correct did you notice anything about the art above of course you did this time I listed the different characteristics in alphabetical order something of blue would certainly appreciate however I might get in trouble because I don't discuss each and every one one of these characteristics individually on the subsequent pages to all blue individuals who are reading this who have probably jotted down a little note in the margin to go to my website to look for possible explanations for this blunder I just want to say that I didn't mean to cause any Strife it's not a big deal I was just doing my job how can a know it all be unassuming it's impressively modest to avoid making a fuss even if you know know everything it's rare that a holy blue person would feel the need to stand on the rooftops or to toot his own horn in order to make it clear to the world who the real expert is it's usually sufficient that you the blue are clear about who knows best there are downsides to this modesty more than once I've stood in the middle of a crowd of people as we all tried to puzzle through a problem together on one such occasion a blue came forward after 2 hours and casually pointed out the answer for him it was never really a problem at all he knew a thing or two but CU Blues often miss the big picture they don't always act immediately I asked him why he didn't say anything 2 hours earlier and like a typical blue he said well you never asked it would be easy to feel aggravated by such a comment but at the same time I understood him it's more my problem than is that he wasn't invited to join the discussion he knew that he knew the answer and that was good enough there's also no need to cheer applaud or call a blew up to the podium when he's done something tremendous in an amazing way sure sure it doesn't really do any harm at here he'll just nod accept the praise and the prize check and then return to his desk where he'll continue working on the next project but he may well wonder what the fuss was really all about he was only doing his job excuse me but where did you read that and what addition was it a blue can rarely get too many facts or have too many pages of fine print people say that God is in the details and I can imagine that it was a blue who first said that no detail is too small to be noticed cutting Corners is simply not an option for a blue hold up you might say not keeping track of every single tiny detail isn't really the same thing as cutting corners but if you ask a blue it is not having full control is the same thing as not having any control at all what do we get by cutting Corners how can you possibly justify it it doesn't work like that tell BL that he can ignore the details of the new contract and skip the last 30 paragraphs there's nothing important in that bit and he'll stare at you very attentively and and wonder about your mental capabilities as usual he won't necessarily say anything he'll just completely ignore what you said he would rather burn the midnight oil checking all the facts of the case than miss the slightest detail a few years ago I tried to sell a leadership program to the CEO of a company in the packaging industry he was blue there was no doubting that his emails were long-winded and a little dry and for our first meeting he had set aside 50 minutes not an hour not 3/4 of an hour but 50 minutes there was a reason for this after the meeting he would have lunch and the dining room was 8 minutes away plus a visit to the gents for about 2 minutes a 50-minute meeting would get him there right in time the first time we met he deposited me in a specific Chair by a specific corner at the visitor's desk he didn't ask if I had any difficulty getting there which I did the address was totally impossible he offered neither coffee nor tea he didn't smile when he greeted me he examined my business card very carefully after going through the company's needs I explained that I would go back to my office to put a quote together once back at my desk I brooded about how I should go about it normally my proposals were 10 to 12 pages long but I knew that wouldn't be sufficient in this case instead I put my nose to the grindstone and wrote over 35 pages I mailed a hard copy of the quote to him since for a blue the written and printed word means much more than the spoken or digital after a week or so I followed the whole thing up with a phone call they were interesting ideas the CEO said but he was ready to go further could he now get the full quote what he actually said was is there any more material I remember scratching my head in my opinion I had described the program rather well in The Proposal each stage had an agenda a clear goal and a defined purpose I'd given some background information references and citations as a seller you can't give up so I was back at it adding every detail I could think of the second time I put together at least 85 pages each item broken down into 2-hour intervals even more background sample exercises analysis tools templates The Works details on a level that would have made a yellow throw up pleased with myself I sent over the whole Kaboodle it took several weeks before I heard from the CEO I asked if he was ready to make a decision and he asked is there more material well this time he wanted to come to my office for 90 minutes we sat on the same side of the table in the conference room at my office and went through the table of contents in The Proposal he had drawn up the general terms and conditions read the fine print on legal paper and each section was full of questions and notes afterwards he said with a totally expressionless face that it was the best meeting he had been at for a long time but what he really wondered was is there any more material I sent him off and sat down for a while and pondered more material no problem I shared the whole training folder this was before learning in virtual classrooms at least 300 Pages covering every 15minute session during the 15 days of training in five different stages of leadership this was all the material there was even with information about when coffee braks should be slotted in exactly what questions should be asked of the individuals during training how the room should be furnished the works I can certify there were no gaps I thought that if I took all this and ramm it down his throat he would be satisfied at last after a month he asked if there was any more material there was not a common misconception is that Blues are unable to make decisions but that's not the case it wasn't that this CEO was pushing the decision into sometime in the future or that he couldn't decide he simply had no need to decide for him the process leading up to the decision was significantly more interesting and he just wondered if there was any more material why some people have to sleep on things for so long you wonder if they've gone into hibernation the preceding example also illustrates another important characteristic blue Behavior they're generally very cautious they often think Safety First where a red or yellow would take a wild chance a blue will hold off and consider everything one more time there may be more factors to take into account right you need to get to the bottom of things before you act this can manifest itself in various ways it's a fact that for the blue the trip is more important than the destination exactly the opposite of a red obviously this amount of caution can result in no decisions being made at all and it also means means that Blues rarely take any major risks never taking any risks ensures a predictable life we can probably agree on that I'm not saying anything about how exciting and inspiring it would be I'm just stating the facts sometimes a blue can even completely refrain from starting something because he can't assess the risks I once met a blue seller who had trained as an engineer his motto was that the best deal is often the one you didn't make risk assessment is a complex thing and who knows what dangers are lurking out there a blue generally solves everything by creating Advanced systems that manage the possible risks that may arise they set three alarm clocks they leave 2 hours early when one would be enough they check and recheck the children's backpacks before school in the morning even though they packed them the night before and no one has touch the backpacks during the night they triple check that the keys are in their pocket and of course they are where else would they be the benefits of this are evident Blues won't be taken back by unexpected events in the same way others would be and in the long run they save a lot of time it doesn't matter if it's easier it's still not right things can't be allowed to go wrong that's all there is to it quality is all that matters when a blue individual thinks his work runs the risk of being shotty or low quality things come to a standstill everything must be checked out why is the quality declined running the risk of generalizing I would say that a fair number of Engineers have distinct blue traits accurate systematic fact oriented and quality conscious I can't know for certain but I would imagine that Toyota the Japanese car manufacturer probably has a good proportion of blue Engineers among its employees they have a policy that you must always ask why five times to ensure quality and get to the heart of the issue I would say that this is a typical blue approach in addition to the Japanese mentality which is very long-term and rather blue in expression so let's say someone discovers an oil stain on the floor a red approach might be to lambas the person closest to him and then order him to mop up the stain a yellow sees the stain and then forgets it but 2 Days Later is surprised when he slips on it the green also sees the stain and feels a little bit of guilt because it poses a problem and everyone is ignoring it a blue would ask why is there an oilville the answer may be that a gasket is leaking this answer of course is unsatisfactory for a blue why is the gasket leaking because it's poor quality why do we have poor quality gaskets in our Factory because the purchasing department was told to save Mone money we bought cheap gaskets instead of tight sealed gaskets but who asked us to save money and compromise on quality this is the way he goes on maybe the problem will resolve itself maybe we'll get a report of what went wrong but nothing is done to fix the problem in the end the blue solution might be to review our purchasing strategies instead of just mopping up the oil on the floor my point is this a blue is prepared to dive deep to get everything exactly 100% correct Blues argue that if they're going to do something they must do it correctly and vice versa if a task isn't worth being done properly then it's not worth doing at all furthermore because Blues usually find it difficult to lie they will always point out the defects they uncover even defects that may reflect poorly on them I clearly remember discussions my parents had when I was a child we moved from time to time and usually our house had to be sold with everything that entailed Dad the engineer would of course do all the work himself and he managed the viewings personally my mom was was always upset that he began each viewing by pointing out all the flaws and shortcomings of the house it leaked here and there and some pain had flaked off behind the sofa why are you telling them that my mother wondered because this and that is wrong dad replied sure but you have to tell that to the perspective buyers now they may never want to buy the house he didn't understand the problem as a very honorable and honest person he couldn't hide the faults he knew were there he could live with the fact that we rarely made a huge profit on those deals he'd been honest about the house because that's how it should be done if the trail doesn't match the map there's something wrong with the trail logical and rational thinking is critical to a blue out with all the feelings as much as possible and in with logic of course Blues can't turn off their feelings completely no one can but they like to say they use rational arguments when making decisions they value logical thinking highly but they can very easily become depressed when things don't go their way and depression has nothing to do with logic and everything to do with feelings few people can repeat the same task an infinite number of times in exactly the same way like Blues can they have a unique ability to precisely follow instructions to the letter without questioning provided they understood and approved of it in the beginning how do they do this without getting bored or careless well it's logical if a particular method works why change it while a yellow or red would find new ways of doing something simply because they were bored a blue repeats the same thing time and time again consider how a blue would put together a piece of furniture from Ikea if there's a manual then of course you have to read it thoroughly before you start Reds confident that they can easily do this start screwing and putting together the various parts without even looking to see what's in the rest of the Box yellows tear up everything exclaiming that it's going to be great fun to get the furniture in place they live in the future and can already see a clear picture of a new cabinet on the right wall of the bedroom with Grandma's tablecloth and a lovely vase of tulips on it they put each part together a little bit haphazardly without much effort they'll screw in a few screws where it looks logical only to skip to another part of the cabinet a green DIY guy leans the enormous box against the wall and has a coffee break there really isn't a hurry what does a blue do he reads the instructions twice examines what everything looks like and confirms that the different pieces of the new cabinet match the pictures in the instructions with a slightly damp not too wet cloth he carefully wipes down all the different parts because they are likely to be Dusty he tallies the number of screws in the box so that he will not be surprised at the end if anything is missing and if there are any parts left over he may very well take the whole thing apart again it may take a little extra time for a blue to put together his cabinet but once it's done you can be sure that it will stand forever the devil is in the details a few years ago I wanted to renovate the patio in my yard because I like working with my hands in contrast to just talking each day I thought I would do the job myself or at least part of it my dad well over 70 at the time was going to help out because he knew that I was pressed for time easier said than done to provide a sturdy Foundation we were going to lay down gravel dad arrived a few moments before the dump truck with all the gravel he had his own wheelbarrow with him specially designed to maneuver gravel in a special shovel that he always used for similar purposes he didn't understand why I was standing there with my regular shovel everyone knew that you had to use special shovels for things like this the truck came and dropped a hefty pile of gravel and the driveway I imagined a few days of shoveling before me and to be honest it made me feel a little tired but I was still ready to take on the challenge my old dad he picked up a bit of gravel between his fingers smelled it felt it and assessed its quality after grunting somewhat which I interpreted as approval he began to assess the pile itself he measured the height of the mound with his hand he paced how large the circumference was I asked him what he was doing he didn't answer but mumbled numbers under his breath 1 in 80 High 5 m in circumference gradient after 30 seconds he said that there were between 8.75 and 9.25 cubic M of gravel in the driveway I confided to him that it was actually 9 cubic M exactly dad asked rather skeptically how I knew that I pointed it's written on the truck I said dad was mildly impressed I asked if he wanted to count each piece of gravel individually he didn't deem that to be necessary for hours he walked around the site and packed and pressed raped the gravel smoothing everything until he thought that everything was in order he used a level Plum line water all the means at his disposal so that nothing would go wrong the gravel needed to be laid at an incline of exactly 1 cm per meter why you ask it says so in the book because he was a construction engineer he knew the book by heart 1 cm per meter exactly who knows what terrible consequences could result if you were careless about that consider the difference between 1 cm and roughly 1 cm the former is precise the latter is imprecise roughly 1 cm it could be up 2 cm if things went bad from a 1 cm to a 2 cm gradient that's a difference of no less than 100% a huge deviation the funny thing about this story is not really the event itself but what happened when Dad read about it in the first edition of this book he argued that that's not how it really happened he corrected the story on several points and claimed that the truck had held 12 cubic m not n he also insists that he's not purely blue and there might just be something in that he's like that with everything at home if there are any technical questions about a television a car a microwave oven or a cell phone out comes the manual he always replies it says here that why do you think they wrote this stuff if it's not meant to be done that way how do you reply to that how do you argue with the instruction manual it's impossible possible to find arguments that a true blue will accept my dad will also stop at a red light in the middle of the night even if he is the only one within a 10-m radius because that's the way you do it the great value of this approach is obvious he will never be fooled he will always get what he paid for it gives him an inner piece because he knows he has checked everything out very accurately if you know any blues I am sure you will agree with me under normal circumstances they're very calm and balanced probably because they keep tabs on everything silence is golden introvert enough said I could stop there many Blues I've met don't say a single word unnecessarily that's just the way it is does that mean they have nothing to say don't they have opinions about things not at all they are just very very introverted Blues are the calm stable individuals the Aztecs equated with the c the element of water quiet on the outside but under the surface anything could be half Penning introverted does doesn't mean silent it means active in the inner world but the effect of this is often quiet in general my advice is to listen attentively when blues do actually talk because they've usually thought through what they say so why are they So Silent among other things it's because they unlike yellows don't feel the need to be heard sitting in a corner and not being seen or heard makes no difference to them they are observers Spectators more than Central characters they can find themselves at the edge of a group where they observe and record everything that is said and don't forget this according to a bl's values being silent is something positive if you have nothing to say keep quiet conclusions on Blue Behavior do you know everything about Blues have you identified some blues in your life Bill Gates and Albert Einstein both used their attention to detail and meticulous nature to build their success we also have Sandra Deo Conor and condalisa rice and of course from the fictional World Mr Spock from Star Trek is the perfect blue all logic r rality and intellect even if a few of the jokes slip past him eight no one is completely perfect strengths and weaknesses as the title of this book suggests there are individuals around us who under less favorable circumstances we may find challenging to understand there are others we don't understand at all no matter what the situation is and the most difficult to interact with are those who aren't like us because they obviously behave incorrectly the differences begin to become clear you can see the general differences among the different colors the illustration on page 63 shows an example of how they differ some people are issue oriented and others are relation oriented while two of them red and yellow are quick to act the greens and blues are reflective this is often the source of everyday misunderstandings both large and small I will come back to this on page 193 but I would like to take this opportunity to provide some nuances to the illustration of the different core Behavior patterns that each color represents I'm not saying that you would call people idiots like Stewart who opened my eyes at the beginning of this book however in all honesty all of us on occasion have just stood there unable to comprehend a comment we've heard or watched someone behave in a way that is diametrically opposed to how we would have behaved and so we believe that they're idiots this reasoning assumes that I am always right which of course means that the other person and their form of behavior is automatically wrong it's a tricky question a wise person once said that just because you're right I don't have to be wrong we also tend to pay special attention to the faults and shortcomings of others child psychologists have argued that the things we find most shocking in the behavior of our children are the things we recognize in ourselves but wish we didn't do so who decides what kind of behavior is right and wrong time for a real cliche on the one hand no one is perfect there you go a real platitude but really there are no perfect human beings no one is without faults or shortcomings in my youth I was was constantly looking for a role model who could become my mentor in life that person a man or woman completely free from shortcomings but I never found one I still haven't seen any trace of this elusive perfect human and of course that's the way it is we live with our shortcomings and make the best of things on the other hand when we think someone is an idiot is it really because of their faults and shortcomings or have we failed to understand them an attribute that may be useful in some situations is unsuitable in others it's important to remember that Comm communication usually takes place on the recipient terms whatever people's Judgment of me may be that is the way they perceive me regardless of what I really meant or intended as always it's all about self-awareness good qualities can become drawbacks in the wrong circumstances no matter what the quality is quick review of core Behavior patterns Reds are quick and more than happy to take command if needed they make things happen however when they get going they become Control Freaks and can be hopeless to deal with and they repeatedly trample on people's toes yellows can be amusing creative and Elevate the mood regardless of who they're with however when they are given unlimited space they will consume all the oxygen in the room they won't allow anyone into a conversation and their stories will reflect reality less and less the friendly greens are easy to hang out with because they are so pleasant and genuinely care for others Unfortunately they can be too wishy-washy and unclear anyone who never takes a stand eventually becomes difficult to handle you don't know where they really stand and indecision kills the energy in other people the analytical Blues are calm level-headed and think before they speak their ability to keep a cool head is undoubtedly an enviable quality for all who aren't capable of doing that however Blue's critical thinking can easily turn to suspicion and questioning those around them everything can become suspect and Sinister in the following sections I deal with how people might perceive the weaknesses of certain Behavior patterns naturally this is a sensitive area and can be easily Mis understood when I coach individuals this is usually where things can get messy so as you read on be aware that much is in the eye of the beholder who is right and who is wrong the behavior patterns I am talking about are described as other people may perceive them even if the intention of the person who just made a fool of himself might have been completely different one thing I know for sure regarding the different colors is that each color evaluates themselves in different ways Reds and yellows tend to inflate their strengths and believe that they have no weaknesses they have powerful Egos and a great part of their success can probably be attributed to the fact that they don't get bogged down in faults and shortcomings but instead look for opportunities and good news clearly this can't be maintained over time conversely greens and blues usually exaggerate their weaknesses and in certain cases even ignore their strengths the consequences are clear when you give positive feedback to a green or a blue they sometimes appear to be immune to it and change the subject to something that went seriously wrong obviously this is highly unproductive Ive well are we ready to go how red people are perceived if you ask other people about Reds you might get a different picture from the one the red gives of himself what a surprise my own private research shows that Reds are surrounded by more idiots than the rest of us many people will agree with what you have read up to now about Reds but I have also heard other comments usually they express this when the red is not in the room because they are afraid of his fiery temper you've heard him say that he wants to hear the truth over the years he's bellowed into our ears say what you think but as soon as you do you find yourself in the middle of a heated discussion with an angry red this means that what you are going to read now will often be completely new for many Reds not many of us have ever been able to make these points to a red before it takes way too much energy some people say that Reds are just belligerent arrogant and egotistical they are perceived as unyielding impatient aggressive Inc controlling I don't think this is necessarily correct but I've even heard people people speak about people with red Behavior as dictatorial and tyrannical suddenly the picture isn't as flattering the born leader Reveals His blemished side first of all let me say this nothing said previously would necessarily bother a red because he is more task oriented than relationship oriented besides everyone else is wrong but let's see what everyone else has to say why does everything take so long can't you speed things up a bit well what can you say a person willing to step outside any regulatory framework to get ahead is nothing if not impatient when the usual official channels take too long a red will scale over a few levels of decision makers and expeditiously look for the person who really calls the shots the first example that comes to mind was the traffic in my beautiful Capital City sure many locals are in more of a hurry than the national average when they sit behind the wheel there are statistics about this but since we're talking about red Behavior I'd like to tell you about a colleague I had a few years ago Joe RN and I used a car as our principal means of Transport in and around the city it simply took too long to use public transport Joe RN lost his license every so often because of his somewhat liberal approach to speed limits he lived far outside the city and the journey into the office about 20 mi away could take about 40 minutes that was on a good day it could just as easily take an hour and a half Joe Arin rarely felt the need to adjust his driving according to the flow of traffic his opinion was that there was no reason for him to follow every single traffic rule the posted speed limits here and there 50 60 and so on they were mostly recommendations they didn't apply to him they were there for people who didn't really know how to drive a car on one occasion I was sitting in the office with a few colleagues having a cup of coffee discussing the rather serious traffic situation it felt as if the city was on the verge of a traffic infarction Joe RN didn't know what we were talking about he wasn't aware of the problem at all on the contrary he felt that the traffic hadn't been bad lately when we questioned him a bit more it turned out that he usually drove in the bus lane all the way for over 20 mi it was so much quicker that way Joe RN even maintained that this was okay you could even get a permit for the bus lane that's what he did and it cost him about $140 a month about every 4 weeks the police stopped him but it was worth it just imagine how much time he saved and all it cost him was the fines he felt it was a good deal this story illustrates quite clearly how red Behavior Works they know just as well as everyone else that it's wrong to break the rules however since it's quicker that way they do it anyway Reds are notorious rule Breakers once again I would like to remind you of their intentions to get the job done Reds have no problem taking one or two shortcuts as long as it's about getting things done with such a generous approach to regulations and rules you'll definitely arrive faster I would even say that a red is often so fast that if something were to go wrong he would still manage to redo the project at the same time no one else ever really knows what's going to happen I am not screaming I'm not angry eror because the way Reds communicate is so blunt and so direct many perceive them as aggressive this is logical but at the same time this perception varies depending on who becomes the victim of the Red's forceful points of view for instance in Sweden it's not acceptable to behave in the kind of confrontational manner that would be fine in Germany or France I'm not saying that people quarrel more in these countries but that they have a slightly different approach to conflicts just imagine in many workplaces people are encouraged to be candid and have open communication what does this really mean it's easy to interpret it as meaning we should all be honest with one another and just say whatever we think right we want to have open and forthright dialogue that's excellent for any organization to be efficient it's necessary to have straightforward communication about things that are important so who excels at Frank communication and can receive the same without getting cranky answer no one besides Reds of course for them this is a non-issue why are we even talking about communication it's obvious that you say what you think many people find this stressful to constantly have the truth pushed into your face can be honorous if you have difficulty taking it my goal here isn't to Define what's right or wrong I only want to establish that all of us are different so why do we sometimes perceive red Behavior as threatening and belligerent could it be that they don't give up right away that they like to argue and debate even small matters if they find them important that they'll raise their voices glare daggers at people and pound their fists on the table if it suits them that sometimes they express themselves rather rudely imagine the following scenario you have a project something that you've spent a few days on or maybe even weeks you begin to doubt yourself have you succeeded at your work is it as good as you wanted it to be would you dare show it to the client as it is now or should you ask for some feedback from someone who you know will give you an honest answer just then a red comes saering by and you take a chance you are fully aware that this colleague spouse friend cousin neighbor will be honest you ask for a Frank Opinion with a degree of pride in your voice you show him what you've accomplished and you go through your process step by step Without You noticing the red becomes impatient because he's already decided what his opinion is and he's getting tired of you doing all the talking for so long with a wave of his hand that effectively silent you the red says it doesn't look that good I don't really like what you've done here in fact it looks pretty rough I'm amazed that you didn't do better than this I think you have to redo the whole thing from start to finish then he leaves without thinking any more about it you're left there feeling folen and crushed regardless of what color you are exaggerated can this happen in real life at this stage if you believe that such nasty people don't really exist then you've never met a genuine red or the Reds you have met met have essentially learned how to be dishonest think about it what's the purpose of cutting a person down to size so completely what were the Red's intentions it was to do exactly what you asked you wanted an honest opinion say exactly what you think you said it's possible you even added I won't be angry sad disappointed suicidal be prepared says the red because here it comes by asking for an honest opinion You released a flood of brutal cander but you'll survive perhaps with yourself confidence a little water logged and your ego utterly drowned as a consultant I have explained countless times that when a red goes all out on an issue that's important to him an issue on which he does not intend to give up well the stone will be brutal if you're afraid of conflict then you shouldn't put yourself in that situation but red has no problem with conflict reds don't consciously create conflict but a refreshing Coral every now and then can be a good thing don't you think it's just another way to communicate a little tip the worst thing you can do do once you get into a conflict with a red is back off that tactic can cause you serious problems more on that later what are you doing over there I can see what you're not doing what's behind the need to control simply put the desire for control is a phenomenon where an individual needs to have power over a situation in which either groups or individuals are present those who have control needs often feel extremely uneasy about having to adapt themselves to a group or a situation and will eagerly come up with various strategies to avoid this a common form of behavior is to talk constantly interrupting and ignoring others in order to maintain control over the conversation Reds can probably be perceived as extremely overbearing but it's important to note they are interested in controlling those around them but not in controlling every specific detail of a situation attention to or control over detail isn't something we can accuse Reds of but it is important for a red to feel that he can influence what people do and how they intend to act on certain specific issues at the heart of this need for control is a belief that they know more than anyone else and because a red feels he knows best he will keep tabs on everyone around him to ensure that they all do the right thing the advantage for a red is that he gets everything done his way the disadvantage is obvious everyone else feels controlled some people think it's a good thing when someone else makes the decisions and holds the Baton but others feel limited and just want to escape many years ago I worked for a company in which one of the middle managers was quite red she was also a bit blue see the section on Blue behavior when she delegated tasks to the employees the effect was quite amusing she usually had no problem relinquishing certain things she was even good at delegating enjoyable tasks something many Executives can find difficult however since she was read she was very quick in thought and action in practice this meant that she hung around after she had delegated a specific task and if the task wasn't done immediately she would simply go and do it herself when the employee in question got to that item on his to-do list he often discovered that it had already been done note the deadline hadn't been reached yet because this middle manager was red blue she did a much better job than what the employee would have had he been given the chance red means fast blue means high quality in implementation unfortunately criticism of the employees sluggishness was not slow and coming as the blue part of this manager was precise with the details and the red part gave criticism very readily she was perceived as quite rigid which brings us on to the next section I try to care about you but it would help if you were a little more interested have you ever met a person completely without feelings no I thought so once again Reds are not typical relational people nothing wrong with that as long as the person you are communicating with has the same Focus as you but if a red speaks to a pronounced relational person like a yellow or a green he can be perceived as very cold-hearted or inhuman let me illustrate this with an example from my own personal experience I had a colleague whom I always appreciated very much noticed that I start with the positives to avoid Avo ruffling feathers very Swedish of me and still have great respect for as a professional but also as a good friend okay it's the infamous Joe RN again a few years ago we were having a tough period in the company fall had been a difficult and strenuous time long days late nights and frequent weekend work we had worn ourselves out we had worn one another out and we had worn out our respective families we were on our knees we really deserved a quiet and restful holiday season for the company holiday part we went to a Japanese restaurant we had taken our shoes off and were sitting on cushions each holding a glass of sake in his hands in typical Swedish fashion we looked at the menus while at the same time keeping an eye on what the others were thinking of ordering of course most of us didn't want to order something that no one else chose except for Joe RN he glanced quickly through the menu and declared what he had in mind he was ready now and quickly grew weary of those of us who hadn't decided yet needing something to do he started a conversation at the time my daughter had just changed schools and Joe RN was inquisitive how did everything go with the new school how's the little Lassie doing pleasantly surprised by his concern for my daughter I started to tell him after about 20 seconds I noted that Joe RN's eyes began to wander he looked around the restaurant with a facial expression that said why is he telling me this he looked at me with a smile I interpreted as you know me you know how I function I don't actually want to talk anymore about that and he quickly began talking about something completely different ordinarily I should have been a little bit offended maybe even insulted how can anyone be so insensitive especially when the other person is talking about something that he himself inquired about does this mean that Joe RN is cold-hearted or that he cares nothing for other people not at all he cares just as much as anyone else but when he realized that everything was fine with my daughter he simply lost interest in usual fashion he announced that the channel of communication was closed instead of sitting there Heming and haing pretending to be interested in more or less meaningless details he said exactly what he felt remember that we're talking about interpretations and perceptions here the intention behind a particular behavior is one thing how we as recipients perceive it is another personally I just wanted to laugh the whole thing off because I knew Joe RN very well I knew that he would never dream of hurting anyone deliberately when he tramples on people's toes from time to time it's never intentional it just happens in reality he is one of the warmest and most generous people I have ever met it's just that you have to know him to understand this what would have been the correct answer to bjork's question about my daughter great it would have been enough it takes strength to be alone and I'm the strongest of you all the word egotistic comes from a Latin word ego meaning I my ey is therefore my ego linguistically we have consequently chosen to put some kind of equal sign between people with strong Egos and being selfish naturally there are many people in our world who are selfish and egotistical the world is teeming with them again I want you to remember that we are speaking here about perceived Behavior if we look at how a red communicates we can understand why many perceive him as egotistic I think we should accept this proposal I want that assignment this is what I think about it I have a good idea will we do this my way or the wrong way add a sharp eye and distinctive body language and you will see someone who will take what he wants he will fight for his interests he will tell everyone who will listen that he is capable of doing whatever he undertakes some people especially greens find that this eye form of speaking is unsettling a Red's eye message occupies their minds they share this trait with yellows who also have strong egos but we've learned to take care of one another we know that being solitary is not the same thing as being strong that we need one another to survive cooperation is the model and I've preached this for over two decades so we think it's egotistic when Reds speak only about themselves they make sure to help themselves before helping others they are often willing to trample on someone else if they see an opportunity to advance themselves they may not do this consciously but the effect is the same Reds often come up the winners in discussions they see this as a natural part of a conversation they always know best and will assert that everyone else is wrong it suits their ego to behave this way the aftermath of this method is that they lose friends people can dislike them and they are cut off from information because no one wants them in the group once they've noticed this they may well just decide that all the other people are idiots a few years ago I was one of six people who was seated at the table having an evening meal in some anguish a man green blue told me he was not feeling well he couldn't live up to the responsibilities his employer laid on his shoulders he was hardpressed by his burdensome workload and he found it difficult to sleep at night this caused even more stress for him because he knew that if he didn't get a good night's rest it would be even harder for him to perform at work his wife sitting beside him tried to hide her discomfort the situation was certainly not comfortable for anyone in the room everyone at the table offered encouraging remarks along with cautious questions about how he thought he might be able to reverse the difficult situation we all expressed our support as far as we could except for the red after 10 minutes the only red at the table finally had enough and tore into the distraught stressed out little devil the Red's analysis was as clear as day I think you complain too much you're just earning your salary I've never been sick and I think people worry too much I would never end up in your situation and I really think you should pull yourself together what a dinner that was let's be honest Reds are the ones who always believe they are surrounded by idiots how yellow people are perceived funny entertaining and almost divinely positive absolutely again this is their own interpretation if you ask other people about yellows you may well get a somewhat different picture many people will agree with what you have read up to now but you will also hear other comments it's especially fun to ask the blues they will say that yellows are selfish superficial and overly self-confident someone else will say that they talk too much and are bad listeners combine that with the observation that they can be distracted and careless suddenly the picture is not as flattering when a yellow hears these comments one of two things can happen either he gets deeply distressed and genuinely hurt or he sets off a ferocious argument it depends what's striking is that over time none of this criticism will really torment a yellow very much on the one hand he's a bad listener and on the other hand he is what some psychologists might call a selective memory he simply forgets the difficult bits and with his positive ethos he finds it easy to say to himself that he doesn't have any faults or shortcomings let's have a look at what yellow struggle with even if they don't always know it hello anyone there listen to what happened to me you want to know right at the beginning of this chapter I pointed out that yellows are very good communicators I would like to repeat that now yellows are very good communicators with an emphasis on very none of the other colors come close to the yellows ease in finding words expressing themselves and telling a story it comes so easily so simply so effortlessly that you can't help being impressed it's common knowledge that most people don't like speaking in front of others they get heart palpitations and sweaty Palms terrified of making fools of themselves this is totally alien to yellows making fools of themselves isn't part of the deal and if the improbable were to happen you could always laugh it off with another amusing anecdote however it may be too much of a good thing regardless of what you are good at there is a limit a time to break off yellows especially those without self-awareness don't have such a limit it would never even occur to them to wrap up if they have something to say out it comes the fact that no one else thinks it's important is neither here nor there a yellow behaves exactly like most people he does what he's good at and he is good at talking there are countless examples of yellows who completely dominate a conversation then add a hefty dose of poor listening and an interesting read one-sided communication takes place many people become hugely frustrated by this Limitless verbosity it's often perceived as egocentrism the terms windbag verbal diarrhea and motor mouth were more than likely coined with yellows in mind countless times I've experience the following a group of people are sitting around a boardroom table the top dog in the room expresses an idea it can be about anything at all when the time comes for comments all the yellows will reinforce the idea by repeating the exact same thing possibly with their own words I would like to say to the women reading this that I am aware of the fact that this is more male Behavior than female why do they do that well first it's important to Signal when you are in agreement and second they can say it's so much better a few years ago I was with a management team studying group dynamics I had just purchased a cell phone with a stopwatch using this I could time who had spoken in the group and for how long in the room were the CEO and his seven closest Associates Peter the sales manager was really yellow and he had only had one point of the 19 on the agenda take a good look at the ratio 119 this represents around 5.3% of the agenda the CEO opened the meeting but pretty soon a clear pattern emerged Peter had opinions about every single item on the agenda I used my stopwatch and was fascinated by what I saw he spoke 69% of the time yes it's true 31% went to the other seven including the CEO himself if you're yellow you may have already charged on a head in this book because you possibly recognized yourself and thought that this was a very unfair example everyone else is wondering how that's even possible how can one person dominate the conversation so fully it's possible because yellows have no problems to delivering opinions views and advice regardless of whether they know anything about the subject or not a yellow has a generous approach to his own ability when an idea pops up in his head he simply opens his mouth people say that for Red's thought and action are the same thing for yellows I would suggest the idea that thought and speech are interrelated what yellow share is often completely unprocessed material that just tumbles out of the big opening on their faces sure it might be well thought out but it's usually not what's most deceptive is that almost without exception it sounds very good yellows know a thing or two about presenting an idea so that it always sounds fantastic if you're unfamiliar with this particular person you may very well take everything he says as true a serious mistake very often a yellow is both entertaining and inspiring and as I said they can inspire people to new ideas but should you get into a conversation with a yellow you need to be observant so that when he catches his breath you can quickly insert a comment or simply close the meeting I know it looks messy but there's a method to the madness a yellow would hardly admit that he's careless but he has no natural way to keep track of things he finds working in a structured way boring then you have to fit the mold and follow the template if there is anything that yellows a void it's feeling controlled by fixed systems the solution is to keep everything in your head which doesn't work it's not possible to remember everything so inevitably the yellow forgets and those around him think he's careless missed appointments forgotten deadlines and half finished projects all because once his mind has finished the task he doesn't go backwards he goes forward leaps to the next project deals with other things details to complete a project you usually need to be precise about details yellows don't like keeping track of details I would even venture to say that they're not interested in details they paint with broad Strokes generally yellows are very good at launching things they're resourceful and with boundless creativity at their disposal they can kick off various kinds of projects but they're not as good at finishing things finishing anything 100% requires an ability to concentrate that a yellow rarely possesses he gets tired and moves on and so we think that he's careless he thinks that his work is good enough my goodness why worry about Trifles this turned out quite well after all the fact that threads are hanging from the shirt or that the document is full of spelling errors is not as important as thinking up new things this is repeated in many different spheres I have a few acquaintances who are hopeless at keeping time they are always pleased and excited to think things up but they are optimists when it comes to time it makes absolutely no difference what time you suggest they will not be on time 7:00 half 7 or 8 it's unimportant they're late regardless and when they talk about it they haggle down their late arrival from 45 minutes to a little over 15 minutes after a while they actually believe it themselves but it doesn't matter the rest of us must wait patiently because their presence will be the highlight of the evening look I can juggle all the balls at the same time we need to talk a little about yellow's inability to concentrate he's always prepared for new experiences this is the downside to the incredible openness yellows have for new things ideas and Impressions there are so many new things and because new is synonymous with good for a yellow it's best that something new happens all the time otherwise our yellow friend will lose focus he can't be bothered listening to the whole story the background and all the details and facts that may actually be relevant it's not interesting to him and he will lose his concentration what does he do then simple something else he throws up another ball to juggle the problem with all these balls is that he might be able to keep them in the air for a while but he can't get them down into the right box at the right time instead he leaves the room and the juggled balls tumble down right into someone else's lap in a meeting he may very well start playing with with his mobile phone or his computer or will start chatting to the person beside him softly at first thinking that no one will notice anything it's not true of course everyone gets quite irritated but if no one says anything he'll just continue here yellows are like little children they are good at testing the limits they continue until someone becomes too angry and puts his foot down and of course then the yellow feels hurt he just wanted to the way yellows often quickly get bored can have far greater consequences than a little disruptive behavior during meetings they're not good at everyday trivial things like Administration and follow-ups as usual most yellows would contest what I just wrote in their own eyes they are the Masters even here but if we consider the ability to follow up this could be a serious threat to the effective implementation of a project new project great put together a new and dynamic team full of interesting people check get everything going and develop ideas and concepts are you kidding already done that working like crazy in the beginning to really get things sped up yep but then following up on what is actually happening or not happening in a project is extremely boring that means looking backwards that's dull and it won't happen a yellow can't keep his concentration long enough to follow through he would rather persuade himself that it's important to have confidence in people and just trust that the project gets done a funny example happened once when I coached sales reps at a large commercial TV channel I sat with a female seller a clever young woman who made big business deals we had identified some weaknesses in her behavior profile after she had struggled to convince me that even bad traits could be quite good and now started to make a plan for how she would proceed in her personal development it began to fall apart on the first point when would she begin she couldn't start that day because it was already past 3: in the afternoon and tomorrow was full of meetings it had to be next week but she was away then maybe the week after that she would check her calendar and see she had lost the match before she had even begun me me me yellows aren't necessarily more selfish than others but they always seem to be why mostly because of their dialogue since they primarily talk about themselves and when other people are not sufficiently interesting and exciting a yellow will interrupt and guide the topic towards something far more interesting not infrequently himself I remember a seller I encountered during a conference with a pharmaceutical a few years ago Gustav exhibited all of the less successful aspects of yellow Behavior and the problem was that he was completely unaware of it he very rarely spoke about anything but himself and the things he had done and he behaved as if you were the one who was leading the conference and not me I have my methods to deal with those boys but it's amusing to study them for a while before I adjust their behavior with a few Choice words during the first break a few examples every time I put a question to the group Gustav answered his quick answers would have indicated engagement if it had not been for the fact that he was often actually spewing nonsense he simply said the things that popped into his head he couldn't keep his thoughts in his own head and everything just tumbled out when I directed my attention to one of Gustav's colleagues instead of him he simply leaned into my field of vision and continued talking when I began directing questions to specific people in the room simply calling them by name Gustav answered anyway pretty impressive right he would speak for a while and then ask Sven that's what you were going to say right Sven Sven just shook his head he was used to this Gustaf continued like that the whole morning before I could reain in him he just charged in whenever there was a gap or a few seconds silence he never allowed anyone to speak and everything he said was to be taken as gospel truth he dominated the room without even thinking about the other 19 people the funny thing was that everyone was aware of what was going on but no one had the energy to stand up to Gustaf they just stared at me with slight desperation in their eyes hoping that I had some way of silencing him during lunch he proclaimed far and wide so that everyone heard it that he thought the conference was going very well by that point the majority of the group hated the very sound of his voice they could barely put up with him to save them from their suffering I had to have a quick feedback intervention with him during the coffee break something you'll learn more about when I discuss giving feedback you never told me that I would remember if a yellow is anything it's a bad listener they're really miserable at it in point of fact many yellows I have met say that they are very good listeners and of course supplied entertaining examples of this undeniable fact but maybe it could be their memory that was at fault basically they believe that they listen very well but somewhere along the way to the brain storage shelves whatever they heard simply gets lost poof no it's not about memory it's about how a yellow is often uninterested in what others say because he knows he could say it so much better himself he doesn't stay focused he begins thinking about other things begins doing other things he does not want to listen he wants to talk they're also quite childish and that they only like doing things that are enjoyable if a statement or story or just a normal conversation is boring then they close their ears of course there's a remedy take a course in entertaining rhetoric then you may be able to keep your yellow friends Partners or colleagues attention if you can present your message in a more amusing way he'll at least remain seated a bit longer rhetoric isn't the art of talking but rather The Art of Getting others to listen if you have a good friend whom at this stage you have identified as yellow you know exactly what I'm talking about in mid-sentence he opens his mouth and starts talking about something completely different bad memory no you were simply being tedious but truly add a bad memory into the equation and we really are in trouble many truly successful people in society are often better listeners than the general average they don't willingly talk as much as they listen they already know what they know and to learn more they simply have to hush up and hear what others are saying it's a way to absorb new knowledge this is something yellows need to understand better if they're not to be perceived as completely hopeless or just stagnant in their personal development they must for example listen to the message I have presented in this last section if they refuse to take it in just because it is a difficult and possibly a boring message they'll never learn anything how green people are perceived so what do others other colors think about greens the picture is ambivalent besides the fact that they are considered Pleasant friendly and caring there are other opinions a person who out of fear of conflict says yes but means no how do you handle him how do you know what he really thinks Reds and yellows especially have problems with what I call the silent resistance remaining silent rather than speaking out certain greens however tend to tell the truth behind the back of the person concerned therefore others can perceive a green as dishonest even though their intention is only to avoid conflict in general greens always expect the worst and therefore tend to lie low then we have the Green's inability to change when a green understands the need for change but still says no thanks that leads those closest to him to think that he is afraid of change stubborn unconcerned and indifferent as usual we are talking about perceptions if we ask Reds what they think about greens there will be some heavy opinions pigheadedness will never be a virtue what do you do with a person who never changes his views ever not even when the facts indicate that it's time to take a different path how do you handle someone who's resolved to continue on the present course has completely taken over the difference between greens and blues is that while a blue holds out for more facts about an issue greens expect everything to Simply blow over since they refuse to change their minds they've made a decision about something and will not concede why because they don't usually do that think about it it may have taken you your whole life to come to a particular opinion about the dangerous cholesterol and food about space travel or about Britney Spears suddenly this guy comes along long and says that you should exchange your current opinion for his it's not going to happen the green is waiting for the right feeling to come over him before he makes any changes if it doesn't well they're often rather patient let me tell you about a young man the son in a family I've known very well for many years this guy is reasonably good in school his grades are okay he has many Pals at the outset I would like to point out that when we speak about young people in this case a teenager we must be careful this isn't a fully developed Behavior profile or character young people still have things to learn about life in general all impressions are not definitive so what's the problem this young man has his own ideas about what is true and false and wild horses couldn't get in change his mind it may be something he heard from a friend or something he saw on television or something he picked up in school when this knowledge or idea irrespective of its source has been established in his Consciousness it can't be dislodged it makes no difference how often his parents point out the facts or how tough they are when they present the evidence his point of view is clear it doesn't even matter if they point out the danger in this or that way of thinking he persists in his belief think about it you supply all the available facts and the guy says that he understands he agrees that it sounds logical other people could feasibly do it that way with good results but still he's not prepared to change his point of view some people would call this pigheadedness what's the reason for this excellent question it may be a result of where he first got the information if a friend says that you can earn just as much money collecting trash as a newly qualified doctor can earn it doesn't really matter if it's true or not if the same friend suggests that you can't be arrested for drunk driving if you drive your car after drinking three beers then this becomes the truth even if we with all the facts at our disposal know that this is simply not the case if this guy is told that he'll get a terrific job if he just works a little harder at mathematics it becomes true if he got this info from his best mate it simply has to be true if a green trusts in a particular individual that individual's word becomes law this makes it easy to exploit greens because they can be a little 9V and gullible and unfortunately certain people take advantage of this fact sometimes this obstinacy becomes a strength no doubt about that but when those around them perceive it as pure pigheadedness it can create problems why bother nothing is worth caring about since greens rarely make the first move and almost always allow others to step up first you can easily get the impression that a green is not especially interested or engaged and often that's the case he is more passive and he is active and this has an impact on his behavior not much is going on there and what does it really matter if you stay at home nothing can really go wrong then right what greens failed to see is that most other people want to do things they assume that everyone thinks as they do and stays on the sofa they are satisfied with doing nothing anything that upsets this standpoint becomes a threat the result even more passivity on one occasion I heard a red yellow boss describe his employees as uninspired and uninterested in their work it tormented him because no matter how hard he tried to entice and insist they never left the starting block he presented numerous ideas some of which were very interesting but nothing happened it can be like that with greens they recognize a good idea as quickly as anyone else but for example while their red colleagues Sprint off with the Baton a green just sits and waits often they're waiting for the right feeling to convince them of an idea's Merit and if that doesn't happen well they wouldn't do anything anyway so they get what they want why not just wait and see if the urge to act goes away this particular boss called in his employees and asked them how they viewed the business he was worried about the evident lack of discernable commitment a couple of the men who were lower middle-age said straight out that they couldn't think of anything that was worth getting involved in the boss became EX extremely frustrated he tried everything but got virtually no reaction this can also happen in a marriage there are stereotypes for everything like that some women might be drawn to the strong silent type for example nothing wrong with that but after they married and she realizes that this is all that he is strong and Silent she may not be as happy and when she makes plans and he says he doesn't care she gets frustrated and so she makes even bigger plans and he clutches the armrests on his favorite recliner even harder this is the Paradox the bigger the plans the less likely it is that a green will commit all he wants is peace and quiet here's an example I've been writing fiction for 20 years and really hope to become a published author one day everyone in the family knew this not that I made a huge deal out of it but I didn't hide my ambitions either one green close to me understood how important it was for me to succeed I have repeatedly spoken about my dream explaining how it would make me feel if I succeeded as an author of fiction yet this green never asked how my writing was going maybe a comment every 5 years that I shouldn't take things so seriously or I will only be disappointed and when I said things like this year it will happen now is the time damn it I've got to work harder to succeed the response was wow that's a lot of work lots of work is a Green's greatest enemy just because that's exactly what it is work they live in a mindset that everything should be easy this form of indifference and lack of commitment can kill the enthusiasm of even the most inspired person I had to learn to rely on others to find the energy to struggle on with my writing but a green doesn't understand this he doesn't want people to be too involved because it's just bothersome instead let's just sit here and do nothing what's thought in secret is said in secret greens are reluctant to take a position on sensitive issues they have just as many views and opinions as anyone else but they don't like shouting them from the rooftops the reason is simple it can ca cause a fuss the consequence of this tendency is a rather abstruse manner of expressing themselves instead of saying that's impossible they may respond with something like it appears that there are a few challenges in delivering that sure both statements mean the same thing we won't manage to do it in time but by using a Less Direct means of expression you take fewer risks if you take a clear stance on something then you have to stand up for it for a green it's better to be safe than sorry by expressing himself Ambiguously he avoids taking responsibility for the matter in question he doesn't have to risk his good name if he's uncertain if he hasn't taken a position in support of something he also hasn't taken any position against something you hear how illogical this sounds right but if you're green you know exactly what I mean a woman I met once said that she believed what everyone else believed but her greens perceived as unclear just because they want to save a relationship no not at all greens just aren't as precise as the other colors when a red says that he absolutely hates listening to Eminem a green would say that he remembers better singers when a blue says that he has lost 5bs since last Tuesday morning at 103 a green says that he's lost a few pounds lately this is because greens are not as task oriented as Reds and blues greens don't speak about facts in the same way they would rather speak about relationships and feelings which makes it more difficult to be precise how do you measure a feeling saying I love you exactly 12% more than last month is just not going to work I know I should change this immediately but I'll just think about it for a while here we have the most difficult stumbling block if you want to make changes in a group consisting of many greens good luck if it's a major change you should consider whether it's really worth the effort if it's urgent you can forget the whole thing this is what happens in the mind of a green I know what I have but not what I'll get it was better before I've never done this before the grass is not always greener on the other side sound familiar sure not all changes are for the better but let's be reasonable I'm not saying that it's always wrong to express these sentiments but when changes are really necessary it can be very dangerous a classic cliche a little worn now I know is to consider how often you change where you sit at the breakfast table I used to ask this question in the groups I met many smiled and said that they sat where they usually sit because it just happened sure I do the same thing sometimes but if someone were to point out that I was stuck in a rigid habit or bad habit I would do something about it a green however doesn't correct himself when you look at a Green's reaction to the question you'll understand that we're faced with a problem I've seen adults become light in the face wiping their foreheads at the M thought of sitting on the other side of the table I've even worked with a man soon who had such a meticulous lunchtime routine that if he couldn't follow it precisely the rest of the day was shrouded in sheer Darkness soon had a favorite Lunch Spot beneath a painting he sat there every day at lunchtime week in week out month out and year in always the same chair if he came into the dining room and saw that his spot was occupied he would stop short if he saw this quickly enough he'd turned towards his backup location not as good but still an acceptable spot near a window if you were forced to have his soup there he would glare throughout the meal at whoever had nicked his spot of course he never said anything instead he just soaked the rest of the day this is another thing greens often do turn frustration inwards and feel awful so that every one notices it if soon's backup spot was also occupied he would just go back into the kitchen the rest of his day ruined let me give you another example my mother departed but never forgotten will never stop loving you our darling mother who was nothing if not green was always willing to help and took care of her grandchildren whenever needed especially when they were little I remember one time when my wife and I were invited to dinner on a Friday night I had asked my mother to watch the kids weeks in advance because I knew that she needed time to m prepare herself for it on the day the dinner was to take place the hostess called her husband was sick and the whole thing was postponed when I phoned my mom I explained to her what had happened we would be staying home that night she went completely silent I said that I still wanted her to come over because the children were excited to see their Grandma Mom was very hesitant what will happen now she asked I said that it would be just like we had planned originally because her bag was packed and the guest room was ready it would be a perfect opportunity to spend a little time together she hesitated it will be completely different now you're at home she was flustered by the change and she needed time to think she promised a phone back what was really mom's problem our change of plans necessitated no change for her at all she was still going to stay overnight between Friday and Saturday she could still see her grandchildren she would however avoid having any responsibility for them I tried to convince her that we could take care of her for once instead of her taking care of us this was a completely new situation for her we were still there in the house and that was the problem my wife and I would be there maybe mom had her heart set on a watching a particular show on television maybe she had thought about preparing a special meal for the children maybe I don't know she never said anything about it so we can't know for sure but the change was serious enough to Warrant extra thinking time for her she came in the end a nice little Side Story quite possibly related to her generation I fetched her at half 4 she asked why I came so late I replied that I had promised to be there at 5:00 and that I was actually half an hour early her response she'd been ready since 4:00 I've never been so upset but for God's sake don't say anything to anyone this is the second major dilemma with green Behavior they despise a squabble this aversion to conflict also causes many other challenges such as stubbornness ambiguity and resistance to change because greens are pronounced relational people nothing is more important to them then keeping a relationship together the problem is that their method doesn't work you can look at conflicts in two ways the first way is called the harmony Outlook or striving for harmony everything depends on being on good terms with others reaching an agreement is an end in itself this means that those who cause conflict are problematic troublemakers conflicts are indicative of poor leadership poor communication and Discord and so we smother conflict and pretend that it doesn't exist because who wants to be acquainted with a troublemaker I once met a coach who used an interesting metaphor for this kind of behavior she said it was like sitting at the dinner table with a rotting pile of trash in the middle you know with mold and flies and everything everyone sees that the trash is there but no one says anything you brush away the Flies and pass the food across the liquefying banana peels without thinking anything about it maybe by the end someone wonders if there even really is a pile of trash on the table at all finally one of the dinner table guests says we have to do something about this that person becomes an agitator because we now have to deal with this nasty mess of garbage couldn't she have just kept quiet nowadays We Know Better the aspiration of having everyone in agreement about everything all the time is an impossible Utopia not even worth trying to achieve someone will lift the lid off all that Discord that was so effectively and hermetically sealed for such a long period of time and what happens then it stinks from a long way off in the end the harmony Outlook inevitably leads to conflict the second way and the opposite to the first is called the conflict Outlook it basically means that we accept that conflicts exist that it's natural no group exists where everyone is always in agreement about everything the whole point of the conflict Outlook is to deal with every little dissension issue as soon as it shows its head Reds and also some yellows do this naturally when they see something that doesn't work they say that it doesn't work this means that problems can be resolved at an early stage but you have to deal with the issue before it begins to stink the conflict approach usually creates Harmony but a green will just turn a deaf ear he'll do everything in his power to maintain that magical feeling that everyone is in agreement it's nicer when everyone agrees isn't it wouldn't the world be so much better if there were no conflicts consider a situation all of us have experienced at some point we're in a meeting at work there are maybe 10 people present in the add or subtract from this so that you recognize the situation someone the boss or anyone at all has just completed his presentation and now asks what everyone is thinking full of expectation he looks around waiting for feedback if there are any Reds or yellows in the room they will speak about their views on the proposal they've just seen the Reds will love it or loath it the yellows will speak about their own Reflections on the proposal one or two Blues might have a few questions what do the greens do absolutely nothing nothing they just lean back in their chairs and let themselves absorb the proposal they say nothing at all unless ask the direct question they look anxiously around hoping that someone will say that this proposal is in fact an incomprehensible mess the group is too large for them to trot out any descending opinions to say something truly dramatic or negative would mean that everyone's eyes will be on you and that's not going to happen if they say what they are really thinking a heated debate will erupt and since a green doesn't want to take part in heated debates he doesn't even want to be in the same room as one he simply keeps silent how will the speaker respond he'll assume that everyone is in agreement right what he doesn't know is that half the people in the room think it was the stupidest thing they have ever heard when the truth creeps out it has to sooner or later guess what happens then exactly conflict you can be certain that while you are standing at the coffee machine and maybe even while visiting the restroom the truth will come out when greens need to relieve the pressure of not speaking out they talk behind your back in small groups of two or three people they will gladly vent their displeasure and they're good at it as long as they think they can escape your gaze they'll backbite you in ways you would never expect from a green how blue people are perceived even perfectionist blue individuals receive criticism it can be about how they are perceived as evasive defensive perfectionist reserved fastidious meticulous hesitant conservative lacking Independence questioning suspicious tedious aloof and cold-hearted wof the list of shortcomings found in these bastions of bureaucracy often tends to be quite long but mainly Blues find it difficult to begin anything new because they want to prepare very thoroughly everything involves risks and blues can be almost obsessed with details never place too many Blues in the same group they'll plan into the next Century without ever putting a shovel to the ground furthermore many Blues are perceived as highly critical and almost suspicious they miss nothing and they have a tendency to deliver their observations and in an insensitive fashion they create quality work but their hair s splitting critical approach to almost everything lowers the morale of those around them to dangerously low levels these are people who consider themselves to be realists when they in everyone else's eyes are in fact pessimists 95% right is actually 100% wrong let's be honest from the start all this keeping track of facts and focusing on details can go too far there are limits to when it's reasonable to keep researching do you remember the CEO who wanted to buy leadership training he never left the starting block Blues want to have all the information on everything and this can lead to problems with those around them people who would be satisfied with good enough simply can't cope with hearing all those questions and all this Relentless poking into details a blue believes that good enough is never really good enough I enjoy working around the house changing the decor hanging wallpaper every now and then a few years ago we remodeled our kitchen and even though I got tremendous help from my family I did did quite a lot myself I worked and toiled and was quite happy when it was finished for a DIY I thought I managed it quite well Hans a good friend of mine came by we've known each other for many years and he's very much on the ball he knew that i' worked very pardon and I felt quite pleased with myself when he came into my kitchen he looked around and said quietly new kitchen looks good that cupboard door is crooked okay so maybe it wasn't nice to hear that but for Hans it was the highest form of logic he observed a mistake in his sense of perfection meant that he couldn't ignore it besides he is not a typical relational person so he couldn't help saying things as they were he wasn't directly criticizing me only something I had done namely not fitting the cupboard door straight fastidiousness can be expressed in various ways it can be a person who can't cope with papers that aren't perfectly align on a desk who rewrites an email about 15 times to get it truly perfect or who works for hours on a simple Excel spreadsheet or PowerPoint presentation just giving it the finishing touches they never finish anything there's always more to do once I was holding a communication training program for a group of people all of who were working in the same room the group consisted of about 20 people the first afternoon I handed out the results of the behavior analysis that each of them had taken earlier everyone read about themselves with increasing Fascination and most of them seemed very satisfied except for one lady she was extremely upset by her analysis it was in fact completely incorrect after confirming with her that it was okay to discuss it in front of the whole group I asked what it was she was displeased with there's so much that's incorrect she told us for example the analysis revealed that she could be a perfectionist she wasn't like that at all I noticed the tiny Smiles appearing on people's faces apparently her colleagues knew something she didn't I asked her why she thought that the analysis maintained she was a perfectionist she had no idea the whole thing was a complete mystery it was a totally useless tool realizing that the woman was blue I was careful not to argue too much she wouldn't take me at my word I was just some random consultant who had been working with this tool for amazely 20 years what did I know instead I asked her to give an example showing that she was not a perfectionist no problem she had plenty for example she had three children each of who had three best Pals when she came home in the evenings there were so many shoes piled up inside the front door that she had to do the high jump to get in she began by shaking the dirt off the doormat and putting the shoes in order she confided in me that she used to put size 10 at the back as those guys went home last so it seemed most logical she placed the smaller sizes closest to the door in neat Rose then she went into the kitchen what did she see there crumbs everywhere all of these youngsters had been eating sandwiches in the kitchen looked like a war zone it took her 20 minutes to sanitize everything put everything back in place sweep wipe the tables and worktops only then could she take off her coat and relax a little her colleagues were in stitches the woman looked around not understanding what the excitement was all about that any of this could even be remotely obsessive was beyond her her house was so untidy that was her point the funny thing about this story is that a few years later I met the same woman but in a totally different context she gave me a big hug and said that the analysis of her behavior was 100% correct stunned I wondered how she arrived at that conclusion it turned out that she had kept the behavior profile in her purse for a while the analysis had a list of behaviors and qualities and every time she found herself doing one she ticked it off on the sheet in the end she had ticked all of them off she liked the profile an amazing tool on the whole I don't really know you so keep your distance you've done it I've done it we've all done it gone up to a person who seems to be a decent fellow and started talking about this and that thinking you're going to have a nice chat after a while you realize that you're the one doing all the Talking if you have yellow traits in your behavior you may notice that there are strange pauses in the dialogue If there really is a dialogue you may notice that the other person fidgets a bit signaling that he doesn't want to be part of this conversation what's going on we're just talking about the game yesterday or about what the family did last summer or were you intend to go on vacation do we have a problem or what yes in fact we do because this person doesn't willingly speak with strangers wait a minute you may say we've been working together for 3 months and by now it should be perfectly okay to ask what his dog's name is but this guy requires a lot of personal space both physically and psychologically he needs to know a person extremely well before opening up not like a red who lets out with whatever he feels not like a yellow who Reveals His darkest Secrets because he assumes that everyone one is interested or like a green who can be personal but only in small groups and in a controlled environment a blue doesn't need small talk he can easily give the impression that he doesn't care about other people because he doesn't cultivate any relationships sure he cares but his needs are on a different level than everyone else's he likes being in his own company and with immediate family the consequence is clear for those around him they find him cold-hearted and distant that personal bubble is obvious and it can be very chilly particularly for yellow and greens and so they call their blue friend a boar Blues can easily make us feel at ease why is he so cold and dismissive doesn't he care about me at all better safe than sorry think about it preferably three times a good family friend couldn't leave her house without first checking to see if her keys were really in her handbag even though placing them there was the last thing she had done before going to the front door back in the 1980s when I worked as a teller in the bank I served people who had waited 30 minutes in lying for just one single reason to check that the balance printed on the ATM receipt really was correct much anticipation the same computer the same balance but you never know best to check and double check if a triple check had been possible they would have done it where does this need for control come from why can't Blues trust what other people say or just accept the information they hear answer they can of course but if they also check themselves then all the risks will be eliminated right but the fact remains that they don't trust others everything has to be confirmed and recorded and documented properly remember we're talking here about Behavior as perceived by others a blue checks everything one extra time because it's possible to check everything one extra time when everything has been confirmed then you just have to make a decision I have a good friend who uses Excel diligently but not like the rest of us this guy has a special method he writes a form formula and inserts all the data before he sends any important files to his senior managers he does a control check of everything using a calculator why does he do that if you were to explain this to a red he would declare that guy an absolute idiot explain it to a yellow and he would laugh himself to death any blue will understand the whole thing immediately there is a theoretical possibility that there could be errors in Excel even though he has typed the formula himself something may still go wrong better to be on the safe side how do others perceive this read on the only thing I can trust is myself in my own eyes the guy who questions Excel has of course a problem explaining himself many people around him have their views about his method of always having to double check and triple check everything he does himself and everything everyone else does they get furious when he through his actions clearly shows that he doesn't trust them the other tiny little problem is that everything takes a terribly long time this can be managed by working more hours what's more problematic is the way relationships can suffer because of this habit how demoralizing is it when you go up to someone to tell them about a possible breakthrough and the first thing the person does is isolate all the different components and call into question every single point of course if everyone looks long enough they will find mistakes nor is it even sufficient to be right you have to prove yourself to a blue if he considers you an authority in a particular field he'll be better at listening to you the road however can be tricky I've held many training courses and let on this subject and if there are people who ask complicated questions they're usually Engineers technical sales staff or financial controllers maybe a handful of tax lawyers often times their color is blue and they're not impressed with me just because I have made my living doing this for 20 years doesn't mean I know what I'm talking about remember the woman who was accused of being a perfectionist the only thing you can do is accept that among these people the standard of proof will be much higher facts always remain as we know if I have prepared well enough I can prove that what I'm saying is true in time they will trust me nine learning new things how to use what you've learned learning something new isn't always the easiest of tasks it may seem simple but it's not easy there's always so much to do so much to read and so much to learn where do you start this is almost always determined by your personal interests naturally it's easier to devote more time to what you're curious about and what you're interested in nothing strange that for me it was hearing sturk assessment of people his thesis on all the idiots at the start of this book that became the impetus for me to learn about people and how we relate to one another but it's taken me many years to acquire this knowledge I've read books attended training and been certified many times in different subjects furthermore I've LED thousands of courses on the subject so now as a middle-aged man I believe I have a decent grasp on how people function but in all probability I've only scratched the surface if we had endless time there'd be no problem all of this learning has taken time maybe I don't have the Natural Instinct that many others have I don't really know but I do know a bit about teaching methods and how we learn new things and for me it's difficult to think of any subject more important than people no matter what job you have where life may take you you are going to meet other people for example you can be an employee with work colleagues a seller with customers a project manager who leads people with different expertise than your own a managing director with employees a middle manager with people both above and below you in the organization a self-employed entrepreneur finding your own sales and orders a parent with teenagers in the household a spouse a coach for the football team a chairperson of the local home and school associations there's no limitation to how this knowledge can be applied understanding people will always remain a crucial factor in achieving your goals in life as smoothly as possible no matter what these goals goals are take a look at the diagram on the next page this isn't a new model but it says a lot about how theoretical knowledge is transformed into real competence reading a book is one thing I'm glad that you are reading this one it's a great way to kick off your own learning but it's only the first step in learning something a new approach my mission is clear I want more people to understand this method of classifying Behavior so much conflict could be avoided if we just understood why the people around us behave the way they do I I have nothing against conflict it usually doesn't bother me because I know how to handle it but when people tear down and Destroy more than they build up I believe that we should be able to find other ways forward life consists of so much more than learning from your mistakes some mistakes you can avoid altogether a language like any other language the language this book discusses dis a language ipd The Institute for personal development which is the official name works like any other language when it comes to learning if you've ever studied Spanish or German in scho school then you know what I'm talking about to study for your exams is one thing to be able to really speak fluently is a different matter it's not enough to refresh your knowledge once a year just before a trip to Spain if you really want to be able to speak Spanish more than just ordering food at a restaurant whenever you run into a Spanish speaker you need to practice it's a perishable commodity there are no shortcuts of course after reading this book you can go out into the world and happily experiment with the people you meet I advise you to do so in the beginning the challenge will be that you're going to guess incorrectly about people's personalities and that may result in a certain degree of embarrassment but as you become more fluent in the language of behavior it will transform how you interact with the people around you 10 body language why how you move matters how do you really look introduction different colors exhibit different types of body language in addition to all things you say and do you project a certain type of body language to the people people around you people pick up on this body language and use it to interpret your mood so let's take a closer look at how we move body language refers to all forms of non-verbal communication conscious as well as unconscious differences in body language vary both between individuals and between different groups of people our body language also functions as a social and cultural marker even if there are common biological foundations the Modern English language contains about 170,000 words of which 5,000 are used regularly in comparison according to certain Scholars body language contains almost 700,000 signals yes we can debate the exact numbers but that's not the point just understand that there are an immense number of signals more than we may be aware of I'm not going to examine all these signals but it's still interesting to see what the differences are between different Behavior profiles just remember our state of mind situation and whether we feel safe or unsafe can have a crucial influence on our body language posture if on the one hand you have a relaxed natural but not slack posture other people often get the impression that you are self-confidence if on the other hand you have a shrunken posture it can be interpreted as resignation and disappointment if you have an erect somewhat wooden posture people can believe that this is a signal of dominance in other words you demand respect from those around you however it could also be an indication that you were trained at a military academy gaze we use our eyes for many different things shift the eye generally suggests that the person in question would rather be somewhere else other people meet your gaze steadily without even blinking this creates a totally different impression it's said that Liars can't look you in the eye and they often shift their gaze to the side but since this is commonly known even among Liars the worst of them have learned to stare you straight in the eyes when they are lying so nothing is that obvious someone who is repeatedly touching his neck is more often an indicator of a liar when something is awful or unpleasant many lift their hands up to their faces and when you need to think you often close your eyes for a while hand and face when speaking we usually either nod or Shake our heads depending on whether we agree or not when we listen extra carefully to a discussion we can lean our heads to one side hanging your head or wrinkling your forehead can signal sadness or depression when we're amazed at something we often raise our eyebrows while we turn up our noses at things we areen fond of in your face alone 43 different muscles are concealed and these can be combined in countless ways hands yes this is a true classic when greeting a person how hard do you really have to shake his hand a simple handshake can reveal a lot about a person limp and feeble handshakes often indicate a submissive Behavior so if you have such a handshake it might be a good idea to press a little harder if a handshake is firm it probably suggests that a person is determined anyone who squeezes way too hard belongs more than likely to the former category but would prefer to belong to the latter clench fists rarely mean good news usually indicating aggressiveness certain nervous people pick at their clothes removing hairs or threads this often indicates they would rather Focus their attention on other things holding your hands clasped behind your back often expresses power and security remember what I just said about lies a more effective way to spot a liard is to notice if he puts the palm of his hand on his chest preferably his right hand over his heart and sigh indignantly when he's been accused of lying would I lie how can you say that about me this gesture is intended to strengthen his honest intentions but it immediately puts those around on their guard because it is so unnecessary and excessive there's definitely something fishy going on there territory it's very important that all people have their own personal space as everyone needs an area that is his own among other things this territory can be the distance you maintain from people when you're speaking to them the personal zone is generally a few feet and the social zone is 3 to 10 ft when we speak about the person personal Zone we mean the space when two people who know each other are communicating the social Zone refers to the space between strangers who are communicating but this is very much dependent on the culture of the speakers in the Nordic European region for example the personal zone is definitely larger than what someone from the Mediterranean would have so what do we do about all this how do the various forms of behavior differ from one another it's obvious that some well-known facts about body language don't apply to every single person someone who is bus picking Lyn off his sleeve might be bored or he might just be nervous another example is how people deal with uncertainty a green who is unsure leans backwards a red who is unsure leans forward as his way of dealing with this uncertainty is to try to dominate the conversation on the following Pages I've listed further examples of the differences try observing people in real life to see if you can find any of the following forms of behavior but remember body language is very individual sure there are the general Expressions that apply throughout the entire world and among all people a contemptuous stare for example looks similar in every country but there are so many differences that you'll have to study your fellow Mortals to sharpen your ability the following short sections are intended to serve as a simple guide red body language some Basics to keep in mind about Reds they keep their distance from others have powerful handshakes Lean Forward aggressively use direct eye contact use controlling gestures as I mentioned previously Reds often have a clear and distinctive body language you can usually recognize a red from a distance when you walk through large crowds you'll see people swarming around standing still conversing with others or just checking to see what all the fuss is about let's say that you're looking at a Town Square teaming with people if you look really closely you will see a person who is crossing the square at a Brisk Pace completely disregarding the people standing in his way with his gaze fixed on a point a bit in front of him the red speeds up and crosses the square without any problem he does not give way but but makes others move aside his steps are decisive and Powerful he expects the rest of us to get out of his way the first time you meet a red he usually maintains a certain distance his handshake won't be Hardy but it will be powerful expect that the red man or woman will grip a little bit harder to show who is in charge some people consider this alpha male Behavior but it also occurs in women a red has a need to demonstrate that he is someone to be reckoned with forget over exuberant Smiles his face can be downright Grim especially if you're attending a business meeting but even in Social settings Reds maintain some reserve a red won't give you a big bare hug as long as he is sober under the influence of alcohol anything can happen when things start getting tense which usually happens rather quickly when Reds are involved this guy will lean across the table and argue his case quite forcefully eye contact will be very direct is gaze fixed on you when it comes to the language of power Reds have their finger on the trigger right from the start be prepared for that also be prepared for a relatively limited use of gestures but those gestures that do surface can be controlling and aggressive Reds point at people very readily the notion that it is rude to point at people isn't something that particularly worries him it's also common that Reds Point At You by stretching out their hand towards you with a palm facing down if you want to give this a try ask someone to point at you that way and then think about how it feels you can also clearly see that Reds of course they are not alone in this are more than willing to interrupt you they draw their breath continuously hoping to find gaps in the conversation if they have to wait too long to speak they'll throw themselves into the conversation with a loud voice and simply take over voice what about a Reds tone of voice it's often strong we hear these people clearly because they think nothing of raising their voices to make themselves heard as much as it takes of course even Reds can be nervous and worried about things but usually you won't hear this their voices won't tremble that much this is one of the secrets Reds have no matter what's happening behind the faade Reds will sound convincing no stammer no hesitation finger on the trigger if we don't listen they will repeat it one more time but louder in the end they always get through speed and speech indeed as I mentioned earlier Reds are always in a hurry quick equals good normally this even applies to speech and actions everything happens at a furious pace because speed is the factor many Reds measure success by it will be all go and a couple of sharp changes when the course needs adjusting yellow body language some simple Basics to keep in mind about yellows they are tactile are relaxed and jocular show friendly ey contact use expressive gestures often come close a yellow's body language is often very open and inviting Smiles appear constantly even when there's not much to smile about they joke around a lot and can be very relaxed when visiting a neighbor he doesn't know that well a yellow may just stretch out on the sofa but this is typical for yellows when a yellow feels secure in any given situation you can see it he's like an open book the similarity with red Behavior lies primarily in a Tempo yellows move quickly and quite distinctively they often radiate a strong self-confidence personal space is a relative thing for yellows while some colors don't like having people sit too close to them yellows will willingly move up very close yellows can spontaneously start hugging everyone around them man or woman it doesn't really matter it depends on what the feeling and the mood are that day it's not uncommon for others to recoil when this happens which yellows find very trying but it's not just that yellows like hugging it can also be a simple form of physical contact a hand placed on an arm a pad on the leg with no ulterior motive the yellow just wants to reinforce what he said what a yellow perceives is something natural and SP spontaneous others can perceive as an invitation and of course it can end badly in general with yellows there will be jokes all round and countless Smiles eye contact is no problem it's intense cheerful and friendly voice a yellow's tone of voice denotes a strong commitment from start to finish you hear it from afar laughter fun intensity enthusiasm Joy energy generally speaking yellow show empathy very clearly they're with you either 100% or not at all and this can be heard in their voice it goes up and down it changes Tempo Vigor and intensity yellows often have a powerful melody in their way of speaking no matter what emotion has seized the yellow at the moment it will be noticeable in his voice speed and speech indeed Tempo not quite the same rate of action as Reds but a decidedly Fast Pace have you met anyone who when in a hurry to say something kind of stumbles over his words only half of them really come out as they should you can surmise what is being said but sometimes it's incomprehensible these are yellows whose mouths simply can't keep up with everything they have to say green body language some simple Basics to keep in mind about greens they are relaxed and come close act methodically tend to lean backwards use very friendly eye contact prefer small scale gestures greens are often but not always sluggish in body movement when they're completely harmonious they have a relaxed body language that exudes calm and confidence no impetuous movements no sudden tossing of their heads or hands nice and easy their gestures are often less flamboyant and well suited for smaller groups greens don't feel at ease in larger groups so they become more closed and will appear reserved greens often have body language that gives them away they try to hide their true feelings but don't always succeed if they're out of balance or feel uncomfortable it will be visible when sitting around a table you can expect that greens will tend to lean back backwards this is something of a paradox as they don't really have a problem getting close to people just like yellows they like to touch others it's fine as long as they know the person they are touching beware however of touching a green who hasn't given a clear sign that he knows you well enough it's easy to cross the line they can be protective of their personal space you often notice when a red walks across a room since greens are the complete opposite of Reds in many things I can say that greens make discretion a point of Honor it's not uncommon that they try to make themselves invisible the reason they don't want to be the center of attention greens almost always have friendly faces if not then they're quite neutral don't expect any exaggerated Smiles or ere exuberant greetings a little expectant that's it but the difference will be huge if a green knows you if he thinks that you are good friends he can be very intimate and friendly if he feels that you have just met each other well then you just have to wait let greens come to you do not force yourself on them in time when they trust you they'll relax and become more natural voice a Green's voice will never be strong it's not likely that he will drown out the group you'll have to make a little bit more effort even when greens speak in front of a larger group they may do this if they don't have any choice they'll speak as if there were only three of you sitting around the table sometimes it may appear that greens don't see the other hundred people in the room the volume is generally low and it can be ult to hear what they say but their voice will always be soft and radiate warmth the pace will be slower and the variation not at all like when a yellow speaks speed and speech indeed generally greens have a slower Pace than Reds and yellows but not quite as slow as blues speed has no value in itself if a heightened Tempo risks destroying the cooperation in the group greens will reduce the speed it doesn't matter what the deadline is the most important thing is always going to be how people feel blue body LAN language some simple Basics to keep in mind about Blues they prefer to keep others at a distance either stand or sit often have closed body language used direct at contact speak without gestures the easiest way to describe a Blue's body language is to say that he has none okay maybe that is a bit simplistic what I mean is that there's not that much to interpret in a blue neither is face nor his body gives much away when I speak about body language to salespeople they usually remark that some people impossible to interpret when I ask if these are people who sit almost perfectly still without moving even a muscle in their faces they usually nod and think this is remarkable they're probably talking about Blues a person who doesn't exhibit much movement or even temperament reveals nothing in this case it's the lack of distinctive body language that tells us what we need to know many Blues can make very dramatic statements with an expressionless face I once heard a blue manager say that the department was to close and that we had to agree on a decommissioning plan for 3 00 employees not a muscle in his face moved unnecessarily this is what gives people the idea that blu's lack feelings but this is naturally not true let me remind you again that a blue is an introvert which is to say most of his emotions simply operate beneath the surface it also works the other way once many years ago I saw a lady win a half a million dollars on television behind the camera her husband was heard screaming for Joy while the lady herself sat very still with a cool smile the G smiled and waved his arms around and for a while you had to wonder who had actually won but the lady herself said nothing more than thank you this was nice she hardly moved at all I don't think it was because she was already a millionaire it was because she was blue this is simply the way it works beneath the surface I assumed that she was delighted with her winnings but she didn't show it outwardly one day I will call the channel and ask if they still have the recording because it's such a vivid illustration when you see Blues speaking in front of larger groups this tendency becomes very evident just like greens they have no need to be the center of attention the difference however is that while a green would like to sink through the floor a blue will remain standing he'll try to whip up the masses while standing completely motionless with a fixed face another clue is that Blues require a relatively large amount of personal space around them they often feel more comfortable by keeping others at a distance naturally it depends on how well they know each other but this zone is significantly larger than is for yellows for instance if others come too close Blue's body language becomes closed both arms and legs will be crossed indicating that they're keeping their distance as I mentioned earlier Blues move less than others when they stand they stand still there's not that much swaying and walking they can very easily stand in the same spot for a whole hour while giving a lecture when they sit down they remain seated more or less in the same position all the time consequently they won't use too many gestures imagine a yellow a really outgoing and dynamic figure and now think the opposite take away all movements that aren't needed most of them according to blues and you begin to get the picture stone-faced as someone once described it however Blues normally look others straight in the eyes they have no problem with a contact even if it makes others uncomfortable voice though not exactly weak a bl's voice is restrained and subdued they don't make much of a Foss about themselves their impression tends to be controlled old it's common for them to sound very pensive as if weighing every word before it's allowed to see the light of day generally there's little or no variation in a blu's voice he sounds more or less the same all the time whether he's reading the TV Guide or giving his acceptance speech to the nation after winning the presidential election without much Rhythm or Melody he just continues to say what's on the script musicians tend to have difficulty with this they think everything a blues flows badly speed and speech indeed slow low at least if we compare it to others if we take a red or even a yellow he'll speak at the speed of sound a blue has a completely different pace it will take as long as it takes speed is of no interest 11 a real life example the company party how to understand everyone you meet many years ago I used to work in a banking sector it was an interesting job in many ways though it could be a little hrum at times however I learned a lot by meeting many different types of people and I have many stories of funny customer meetings from that period the most interesting insights however I gained behind the scenes one of the more startling experiences was at a branch where I was working in the 1990s a series of behavior stereotypes were working there some of them were obvious in their behavioral profiles we had incredibly distinctive blues and equally obvious greens and yellows and of course a red boss one spring we'd been working incredibly hard many had been out out sick and we were under pressure from customers people were tired irritated and touchy we really needed some good news the person who got fed up with all the hard work first was one of the yellow advisers one day she came into the lunchroom and said that she' had enough of all our grumpy faces we needed something fun to do and she knew exactly what it was time to find a goal something to look forward to a company party would save the day full of enthusiasm she told us that she'd seen a very nice Conference Center near by where all of us could go for a weekend to have a good rest they had a stunning spa and gym snazzy hotel rooms in a trendy restaurant that was truly a l in addition she knew the owner through a friend of a friend and could probably get a bargain price on the whole package she just wanted to know what we thought about the idea at first we all stared at her not knowing if the whole thing was for real because we suspected that she probably didn't know the owner at all with a broad smile she continued to speak talking about all the fun we could have we could play games organiz some friendly competitions enjoy bubble baths and of course have a monster party in the evening a lively discussion began and several of us thought the idea sounded great the Red Bank director looked around and saw that his employees liked the idea thankfully he was keen on the idea we were tired and worn out and he wanted to show his appreciation for our commitment he made the decision right there and then after a 5-minute discussion he declared that there would be a party and he promised to foot the bill he looked at the yellow woman who had suggested the party and asked if she was prepared to organize everything make the necessary calls and book everything she immediately began to deliver a long Herring that was nothing more than one big smoke screen to hide the fact that she thought she had done her bit by coming up with the idea the red boss silenced her with a wave of his hand a few green colleagues were sitting behind him on a corner of the sofa the same corner where they always sat the boss didn't even need to turn around to be able to call them by name he asked each of them if they would help they they all agreed Without Really knowing what he'd asked the red boss nodded briefly and left the room he was done as he stood up he forgot about the matter immediately excitement burst forth and everyone with red and yellow in their behavior profiles began exclaiming about the party all talking at the same time the yellow adviser was extremely enthusiastic and continued to sell the idea despite the fact that the decision had already been made her proposals for the type of party we should have became Wilder and Wilder I remember that she started with a black tie ball and had come all the way to a toga party before someone managed to silence her however one person sat silently in the corner our blue credit manager was very concerned when everything calmed down a bit he said with a loud voice but how are we supposed to get there the only thing he had heard about the whole Affair was that the conference center was 20 mi outside of town and now the problems were stacking up we were faced with a significant logistical challenge should we go by car or taxi or had the bank plan to char or a bus how would this actually be done endless obstacles were lining up he crossed his arms and clenched his teeth the yellow woman erupted and tore into him right away how could he be so negative here she was after coming with the best idea in the world and he immediately spoiled the whole thing with ump teen trying questions maybe he should come up with his own ideas for once how did he think we should get there he didn't have an answer he just pointed out that there were lots of options he couldn't make any decision or have an opinion he only knew that the whole idea was poorly thought out the greens saved the day by saying that they were willing to take their cars and pick everyone up five cars should be enough and they promised to arrange everything this announcement calmed the discussion down a little and the yellow woman could feel like a winner again her party had just been saved everyone looked forward to the party but the yellow adviser never showed up she had accidentally double booked that day there must have been a wedding on that same weekend or maybe a relative was turning 50 as a matter of fact it might have been both what happens at a company party when no one is paying attention once the party started exciting things happened we all know that alcohol affects people we also know that different people are affected in different ways nothing strange so far if we ignore for a moment that the amount of alcohol consumed is an important factor and assume that we're just talking about moderate drinking and that no one will drive their cars that night we can see some interesting patterns we had several yellows in our Branch the for sellers who dealt with private customers were very yellow they were jovial positive entertainers right from the outset they needed no alcohol before daring to loosen up and become approachable in fact you could easily get the impression that they always were a bit tipsy because they had that Frolic some energy they saw life as one long celebration that should always be funny and amusing but the interesting thing is that yellows who drink can lose some of this during the company party I observed that three of the four yellow sales people became more and more silent as the evening went on as the intake of certain beverages increased and the atmosphere became more intense they withdrew I remember one of the guy sat down on the steps outside with a wine glass in his hand I asked him what was the matter he was Moody and philosophical what was the point of it all why did he go the extra mile no one ever really thanked him for it perhaps the best thing to do was to resign my cheerful colleague had been transformed into a brooding pessimist funnily enough I found the blue credit manager inside the party venue dancing on the table while telling dirty jokes never before nor since have I heard such dirty jokes when I asked his colleagues what he had been drinking they Shrugged their shoulders and said that he always behaved like that when he got started if I had met him for the first time that night I would have thought that he was one of the yellows at our workplace it was as if yellows and the blues had completely switched personalities you could conclude that a really good party consists of sober yellows and blues who are slightly under the influence however things things became really interesting when I found our Red Bank director who normally was quite Stern he had a glass of whiskey in his hand and was standing there speaking to the green group of Administrators he explained a little Ambiguously I hastened to add that he really wasn't a horrible person and that he liked them very much when he lost his temper at the office they shouldn't take it personally he meant no offense and they didn't need to be afraid of him the six greens Two Men and four women who had been drinking as well all spoke up and gave him a piece of their minds they were iritated by his behavior and explained that he was the worst boss they'd Ever Had Each of them had been working in the office for at least 20 years and when he was gone they would still be there and what did he think about that they backed him into a corner and gave him a proper dressing down the red boss fled the field and was the first to leave the party even the Reds and the greens had changed Behavior with each other in some strange way I left the party with an extraordinary Insight alcohol changes people but exactly how they change is even more interesting however back in the office on Monday everything was back to normal the yellows told their latest jokes and the blue guy did not say a word the boss glowered at everyone and the greens just stared at the wall when he showed up order was restored again I cannot prove this so you simply have to do your own research challenge your pals late on a Friday night and you'll understand exactly what I mean just take it easy with the alcohol 12 adaptation how to handle idiots I.E everyone who isn't like you now let's now take a look at how we can adapt to one another in order to work together a man once said admittedly with an ironic smile on his face but still that the test of intelligence is simple if you agree with me then you're intelligent however if you don't agree with me then you are clearly and undoubtedly an idiot I assume that you're intelligent enough to interpret this message correctly but seriously all of us have wondered why some people don't understand anything as I said in the introduction when I was young I was often struck by the fact that people who appear to be very intelligent could at the same time be such complete idiots they didn't see what I saw some people delicately say that such individuals lack the right intellectual elasticity but that's only because they're too well bred to let the word idiot come out of their mouths people are obviously different so what do you do about it how should we handle people who are different from us when they react and function in completely different ways can you take on various kinds of personalities in different situations an interesting question if it were possible to behave 100 % like a chameleon completely changing your behavior depending on whom you're with would it be a good idea to try it's natural for us to be who we are to exhibit our own core Behavior but for a variety of reasons we can feel the need to adapt to those around us there's often a lot of talk about how we must be flexible and adaptable so that we can cope with a wide variety of situations and are able to respond to many different types of people the term has even been given a name EI emotional intelligence or EQ emotional quotient to cope with this constant need for adaptation it's important that we're aware that adaptation demands effort and takes a lot of energy our natural condition is to exhibit our core Behavior our unnatural behavior is to continually adapt to others and this requires ability training and energy if we're uncertain as to what is right in a situation if we're untrained or lack sufficient energy to cope with the role that we currently believe is the right one we will be frightened hesitant and often stressed as a result we lose even more energy and our core Behavior becomes increasingly visible often to the great surprise of those around us who are used to seeing us behave in a certain way in a perfect world in the best of Worlds everyone can be themselves and everything functions smoothly from the word go everyone agrees at all times and conflicts don't exist at all this place is said to exist and it's called Utopia but it's not that simple as I said at the beginning of this book if you think that you can change everyone else you'll be very disappointed it would surprise me if you could change anyone at all no matter who you are red yellow green or blue or a combination of multiple colors you will always be in the minority most of the people you encounter will be different from you no matter how well balanced you are you can't be all the types at the same time so you have to adapt to the People You Meet good communication is often a matter of adapting to others but wait a minute you might be thinking that isn't true I can be myself in fact I never adapt myself for anyone anytime and it's on very well it's taken me this far in life absolutely naturally everyone can start with themselves that's not a problem but then don't expect to get through to other people with the message you're trying to share if you can live knowing that most of the people you meet won't buy what you say well then you don't have a problem you already do this even if you don't think you do you already adapt your behavior even if you don't realize it we all adapt to one another all the time it's part of the social game the VIS I and invisible communication that is constantly in progress I'm just proposing a more