[Music] all the ring-shaped foods appropriate for this comparison appear to be derivatives of Cheerios and SpaghettiOs so I guess this time it's paramounts fried calamari I would have thought four years was enough time to build enough clout to Warrant this long ass Marvel style logo and that DC was just exceptionally bad at it but not you too Sega in case you confused it with the lonely Islands Japan my Bost cre Kyle Kyle that popsicle hasn't moved in 50 years and yet he will conveniently start moving again immediately after the statement because convenience is that normal for a movie based on a video game to be this wildly successful both in box office and critical Acclaim no no it's not and I can't figure out why we're making this film the exception Chris was glass really the best choice for this tank you know on the off chance he did wake up do the alien hedgehogs just wake up ready to zoom all over the place and kick ass I usually to sit in bed for a good 30 minutes before I can even move and that's after only a few hours sleep Shadow's been asleep for a lot longer than that too much pupil or maybe too much clear you know what it's just too much eye and I let it slide for the past two movies the line must be drawn here don't worry little sibling rivalry is healthy me and my brothers used to do this kind of thing all the time Tom your brothers are lunatics and neither of them were born with a power to trigger a global cataclysmic events we're going to find out in a moment that this was all a ruse to distract Sonic while they set up his surprise party yet this banter is going hard in a way that it feels more like the goal was to distract me while they they set up the surprise party it's a bird it's a plane it's cheating happy B Arthur Day Jeff Ross wouldn't laugh at that joke with B Arthur's this is your yep my old cave I can't believe this is where you lived all those years the convenience of the fact that they're conveniently camping by Sonic's old cave aside why is Tom shocked to see the cave in the first movie Tom brought all of Sonic's things from the cave to his house so he could give Sonic his own room Tom had to have been in this cave before that's the thing about life Sonic it's all about the choices we make as long as you remember to listen to your heart you're going to make the right Choice when it matters the most you could have paired this misquoting of rocket with a relevant situation where Sonic actually had to make a choice instead of forcing it into a contrived heart-to-heart with only a thin contextual basis so I know without a doubt that this line will come back to haunt me later in the movie but closeup on this step rail is here so I can point out that it is not there in the next shop those Blades of this thing did not make it through the ring and therefore neither should the helicopter titanium handcuff completely indestructible if you can manufacture a thing it has constituent parts and can't be completely indestructible talking Fox with two tals that I expected to have a stronger grasp of physics we're out of here I need to know when and why they choreograph this no look jump that serves zero purpose outside of looking like a cool discount space jump from Abram Star Trek is your movie even in Japan if it doesn't feature shabuya Crossing Knuckles tosses this vehicle to the side without even checking to see if anyone is in it you're a colorful Bunch that's racist is it more wrong that this motorcycle fits him or that you can logic this into a sin about stereotyping Asian people hey you did it not me the more you talk the harder I want it I hit you Shadow speaks for everyone at Cinema SS trying to get brownie points because you think iira about this Akira slime this is a Child Garden restaurants that specialize in Easter eggs it begins over 50 years ago another one jeez please don't tell me half of this movie is going to play out in flashback the meteor crash in a quiet corner of Oklahoma alien meteor crashes into a rural part of Middle America C Superman shape Shadow's power his chaos energy went far beyond any living creature and that is pretty much where we left it figured there was no need to better understand where this mystical energy comes from and we're better off just juicing as much of it as we can out of the poor creatures so we could Corner the market on the supply side the project leader was blamed for the incident and imprisoned but never searched well enough to find the glowy thing he clearly has at his hands so I had him placed into stasis indefinitely as some kind of parody of Austin Powers parodying Demolition Man because first and foremost I'm a movie buff also if Walter's encountered Shadow 50 plus years ago he shouldn't have been so flabbergasted by Sonic showing up in the first movie and he's also a huge [ __ ] for working with Ivo Robotnik and never once telling him that he had known his grandfather Gerald when he was younger scripted this movie sacrificed Walter's memory to retcon in all these past events and will momentarily kill him off God damn kichi what these drones are just letting this happen for some reason what is it a key to the most powerful weapon gun has ever built you're the only one I trust to keep it safe wait what oh but seriously what also if gun makes a gun do they call it a gun gun these these are the questions I need this movie to answer hold it right there Tokyo Drift scene does not contain a Lucas Black or a Shad bowwow Moss please join me in the crab if you change the in to an and and add an S to crab you would have the phrasing my college girlfriend used right before our first sexual encounter I was glad to find out she didn't mean we were mixing food with sex because I'd never been a huge fan however I still don't know what she meant or why my other regions have been itching since that night at some point in production it was decided the movie needed a giant testicle robot thats condiments also eating the sour scam and guac on the outside of the burrito it's time for the dramatic soap opera twist where you will turn into a Jaguar like Marina or maybe you'll reveal you're the Salem stalker or maybe you've got Casey the freaking alien tied up in the back of the crab oh you're just going to shave off your hair aren't you it's okay she's the professor's granddaughter he takes her everywhere not responding with what about that means that I shouldn't do my job wearing shoes inside your backa tank this bond that was forged in the fire of being in the same place at the same time will be enough to almost cause an apocalypse so when Walters said a chaos energy that went far beyond any living creature he didn't mean that it seems dangerous for a kid to be around out kids emotionally broken character is reflected in literally broken glass as if the universe feeds on pain and wants this Hedgehog to be sad the franchise has gone from the Rings being a valuable commodity to them being a convenient fast travel hack uh yeah do you remember what happened last movie night what's the point of remembering anything if you're just going to smash cut to it anyway this licking Sonic's quill thing that was quirky and kind of fun in the first movie now feels like a serious addiction that's being played for a cheap laugh I'm your grandfather Gerald Robotnik thinking that the franchise needed to add more layerers to the Dr Robotnik store line when it most definitely did not it's as if we're two characters in a movie being play by by the same actor further proof that Deadpool has ruined Cinema name the most elegant formula in mathematics jer's identity mathematical beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I prefer the born identity European capitals arranged alphabetically by the fourth letter r Monaco s Toronto even if you were going with just the A's which wasn't explicit you left out Budapest the speed of light divided by the speed of sound divided by the speed of the bus in the movie Speed 17893 333 the speed of the bus and speed was mostly above 50 mph but it varied wildly Until It ultimately blew up and went to zero since you didn't say the average speed of the bus in speed this question will be sin for lacking specificity a rare lung disease and the longest word in the English dictionary pumo ultramicroscopic silicosis making one of my writers want to hear me struggle to pronounce num truth mcov I hate you Daniel W villains W fun math two Robotnik are way worse than one agreed capable of delivering a Precision strike anywhere on Earth this is essentially a super laser without a death start it's all no ball this is one of two keys required to launch the eclipse Cannon I'll admit that having two keys required to work this thing is safer than one but 1 million per of movies do this just to build tension around the race to collect both keys and you wonder why I have trust issues wait you put your faith in Tom Maddy and Tails pretty quick and then you built trust with Knuckles after he stopped trying to kill you it all seemed relatively healthy fail to see where your trust issues are and I'm beginning to think you just thought this line was funny and then I'm taking a talking Hedgehog too seriously I've spent 50 years reliving what they did to her this is who I am inside Shadow chooses to play the pronoun game to explain his motivations with three aliens he just met and have zero clue who her is Sonic try to reach one of my rings there have been Rings available this entire time and they're just now choosing to use them somebody better call Google Maps people or hedgehogs who still use Google Maps ways is the way Sonic ways is the godamn way there's nothing we can't destroy together democracy how would you choose to spend one perfect day with your new Grandpa no one will be seated while the story gets derailed so Jim Carrey can make the I'm My Own Grandpa music video no one asked for the Master Emerald is too powerful to ever use again oh you for revealing a key element of the third act just because there isn't a valid reason you don't use the infinitesimal stones all the time Sonic the Hedgehog 3 clearly attended the Russo Brothers Academy for making location titles Revenge guac walk should only ever be made with love I have taken my perch at to the giant clock damn Knuckles you need to chill I'm kidding he said clock but they don't call it Big Ben for nothing do you want me to get Ultra nasty nasty nasty whatever this is Works since Randall actually works for gun then why did Tom and matd go back to just being Tom and matd little trick in the '90s I mean best decade ever sure other than the AIDS epidemic the tail end of the crack epidemic the LA riots slap bracelets beanie babies and TGIF's Teen Angel yeah it was great the Robotnik have entered the chat there is no discussion going on in which you now plan to contribute I find your use of this phrase to be confoundingly without Merit I guess someone forgot to flush Tails just straight up tries to murder Shadow and agent Stone I designed these suits to create a field of laser bending thermal Distortion so did Robotnik just create suits for all possible life encounters I would love to see the suit that is useful in situations where your raft is about to go over the water fall while a cocaine bear is chasing you down and your mother is sitting next to you on the raft nagging the out of you as that that's helping I designed these suits to create a field of laser bending thermal Distortion the laser bending thermal Distortion must also politely ask the lasers to avoid your head this whole dance sequence is a great example of why Jim carries the Robotnik is both the best thing about this movie and a big part of why it's not very good whenever he's on screen there's never any shortage of entertainment but it overwhelms the story and we miss out on getting more Shadow who is a very good and compelling villain in his own right basically a bane they baned him look at me I'm running on the wrong side of the road England well I got to take in the sights sure but you just said we're out of time nice job undercutting your own urgency to the point where I no longer care whether or not your plan works they're planning on stealing the second key just like you are yes I'm aware so now that I have thwarted your attempts I will remove the key Like a Villain instead of putting you all in prison you know there might be one other way out even though Rockwell has a villainy Vibe Sonic should know now that Gerald was the one that broke out Shadow what exactly is his reason for not trusting Rockwell after she successfully stopped the Robotnik or at the very least he could let her finish taking them into custody before calling in Knuckles to almost get everyone killed so Knuckles and his 1 million per of muscle can blast through the barrier why was that not the plan all along oh wa wa the physics of this room were pretty simple a moment ago when you were over a green tile you would float and when you were over a red tile you would be pulled to the ground but now Knuckles is just doing whatever he wants like he's Neo or some and then there are these two [ __ ] who are going to worm their way across all these red ones instead of taking a faster longer path not on the red tiles I swear this kind of [ __ ] is why we all sit in traffic we got what we came for which makes me ask the question why does Shadow still need the robotx he's perfectly capable of taking care of himself much better than either of them are why did he come back to help them so where's your little science project it's closer than you think my boy you could have just said it's in the temps it isn't much of a surprise and it's right next to the building so it's not even that clever of a hiding spot it's actually super obvious okay after seeing this big ass glass bottom murder ship that was hidden under a body of water and controlled by McGuffin circuit boards I can confirm this is basically the same thing as Captain America the Winter Soldier except it's in London so Captain Britain the gloomy rainy day Soldier wait all these regular looking cops being so casual right now they should be flipping their sh after seeing concrete evidence that aliens exist part of our oath is to trust each other and I must abide by that promise even if you have chosen to break it what than God Knuckles is not a lawyer okay wait all comes down to this waiting up your movie 1 hour and 14 minutes in excuse me Grand padé what is that thermonuclear Geral doing recreating the end of Superman the movie I mean I hope that's the case it wouldn't be original but it would at least be interesting which the last hour and 18 minutes have not been the Robotnik survived this you hurt my family this ends now they are talking in space also just because they are aliens doesn't mean they can automatically just roam around in space with no gear on whatever Planet they from was clearly similar to Earth's atmosphere Show Yourself coward at what point is Sonic perceived Shadow to be anything remotely like a coward at least make your disw play truthful it hurts more that way you were right about one thing this ends now yeah I checked the runtime Shadow you might not be a coward but you are a [ __ ] liar I haven't seen that since I hate watched Green Lantern in 2011 well damn I thought we were well past this point in history and had moved on to the part when people start telling me it's an underrated movie and for all its flaws Ryan rins is still entertaining I mean none of that is true but people are going to say it anyway I was saving it for Comicon but now there won't be a ComiCon listen if there is one thing the history of the interweb has taught us it's that nerds will not be contained nerds Break Free they expand to new territories and crash through barriers painfully maybe even dangerously but uh well there it is I'm simply saying that uh ComicCon finds a way they are breathing in space I'm right here Shadow points to where his lungs are and Sonic is reminded of the conversation he had with Tom earlier all I can think of is that they might as well have both had moms named Martha was he holding on to Shadows nipple dramatically timed astronomical Dawns the light shines even though the star is gone dramatically timed astronomical callbacks don't tell me you've got a catchphrase that's right new Hedgehog and everyone loves it citation needed who said life was pointless for Dr Robotnik life is at the very least Invincible since he should have beening dead from falling intoing outer space with no kind of breathing apparatus non-consensual sodonomy for as many should have died but didn't instances in this movie there's also quite a bit of murder for a kids movie at least for a kids movie that wasn't released in the 1980s we got to stop that laser I knew there was something I was forgetting we already pointed out how pointless bringing Robotnik back was however if he being put in the movie at the very least don't turn this into another major antagonist for most of the franchise becomes a protagonist in the newest entry cliche we don't need another fast and furious guys we already got 10 too many so this was your plan I know right it's almost as if the title character of this franchise is by far the most incompetent I think Wade would have come up with a better plan this is Dr IO robotic dedicating my final live stream to one very special henchman agent Stone botnik not only is able to conveniently live stream on the side of a building but also the exact building that agent stone is standing in front of and I now and conveniently hate the out of this movie Stone you are more than a sick of it to me you were a sick of friend Robotnik has shown agent Stone absolutely nothing but disgust and has mostly ignored him for three movies however we're supposed to believe in this moment he now respects him and I did not believe you movie wait how did tales and Sonic enter Earth's atmosphere without disintegrating how the [ __ ] are any of these [ __ ] still alive Knuckles saves them so easily at the last second I have to wonder why didn't he go after Sonic in the first place seriously tails is obviously more of a tech genius person in the chair type and Knuckles is 100% beef or whatever that whole throwing Tails like a baseball thing never made sense how exactly does going through the ring lessen the impact on the ground these [ __ ] Fell From Outer Space Now That's What I Call teamwork Now That's What I Call diabetes it's great to be back together we're stronger than ever and nothing is going to stand in our way misquoting Starship all right boys try and keep up nothing like ending your movie on a race between CGI characters where we have zero clue who even has the advantage so I guess they're setting up Metal Sonic as a big bad for Sonic form but that's a little confusing Robotnik created Metal Sonic in the games and he's dead although let's be honest there's no way ining hell he's actually dead but he is presumably enough on the good side of the force to not go all robotic Army on Sonic but hey 3 years I guess we'll have our answer to the question that most of us will forget was asked thinking Amy Rose and Shadow's hand would distract me from this big [ __ ] up Bruce Almighty moon look like me you of all people should know I would never in my life wear black silk Anor did you hear that boys if this is your first night at Fight Club you have to fight 2024 I've been trapped for 50 years I don't know I just work here aliens aliens excuse me I thought the SEC go was better it begins over 50 years ago with a meteor crash in a quiet corner of Oklahoma oh you done it now Jordy barel you m cat the meteorite contained a life form we called him Baba Shadow was a loose end no one knew how to deal with one of God's Own prototypes a high powerered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production I have fallen in love with another football is life but the res is uncanny it's as if I'm My Own Grandpa my name is Randall and I am too much to handle don't make me spank you when I get back ultim can only belong to one no football is also death stop right there Robos scum you fail to realize that with your armor gone my ship will take through yours like tissue paper and what you fail to realize is my ship is dragging mines hello boys I'm back so I guess there's only one thing left to say h testicle Tuesday