o'neal wakes up in a dirty bathroom and doesn't immediately realize it's not his team's locker room Checking his head for damage he discovers he's chained up Then Shaquille realizes he's not alone His partner in misery is Dr Phil Mcgro When the prisoners notice each other the TV turns on and a masked man announces that they're inhaling poison gas The antidote is at the other end of the room To get it they have to make a basket and then cut the chains with a metal saw Shaquille picks up a stone from the floor but misses the target and doesn't get the saw Because of this he and Phil lose precious time When Shaquille finally makes the shot and they get the saws the prisoners realize they don't have enough time to cut the chains Shaquille tells Dr Phil to sar off his leg Phil quickly does it but he rushes and cuts off the wrong leg leaving himself with no chance to escape While these two struggle for their lives aliens from outer space watch humanity from afar They observe us the way humans examine microbes in the groin of someone who loves to put their sausage in a bun without protection Meanwhile Tom Logan falls into depression after the death of his brother George Neither alcohol nor a forsome with busty beauties can console him There's only one way to ease his soul a sharp blade Before using his shaving accessory he looks once more at a photo with Mrs Norris In the corner of the picture is the face of a pale Asian boy Then Cindy Campbell arrives and ruins the blissful mix by drinking it herself While she chatters non-stop Tom decides to misuse sleeping pills But when he goes for the vodka Cindy takes the bottle of pills and Tom ends up swallowing Viagra instead of sleeping pills As a result his periscope rises to unprecedented heights Tom tries to get rid of his third leg but even a cat that latches onto his bulge can't reduce the swelling Then the poor guy jumps off the balcony and smashes the asphalt with his torpedo That's how Cindy loses another friend At this moment Tom Ryan who has worked a 16-our shift falls asleep at his workplace and wrecks several containers earning a reprimand from his boss Irresponsible Tom heads to a bar where he meets his buddy Mahalik and gets introduced to his pal CJ The guys share their convoluted theory about zombies and then invite Tom to relax by the campfire as they did recently Upon learning that Mahalik and CJ were fiddling with each other's snuts in the tent Tom hurries to leave since it's 2006 and not fiddling hasn't yet become mainstream Relaxing didn't involve nuts Returning home Tom meets his ex-wife who brings the kids over for a visit Robbie doesn't like his father but Rachel does Maybe because Tom often hits her on the head with heavy objects and she remembers very little Meanwhile Mr Kudsie finds out that one of his nurses has slightly lost her mind and face while working for Mrs Norris Kudzy urgently needs to find a replacement and Cindy conveniently offers to work as a nurse Kudzy takes her to Mrs Norris and it turns out that the house is cursed to prevent the newbie from running away Kudzy drowns the Asian boy who tries to scare Cindy and hides a mysterious folk that arises in the corner of the room Cindy meets the paralyzed Mrs Norris and accidentally causes her some physical injuries Then she goes upstairs and sees that Tom Ryan lives next door She likes him at first sight Tom decides to play catch with Robbie but his son angers him and Tom throws the ball at Cindy However Cindy's face has seen worse accidents so she remains unharmed The two of them get to know each other and realize they can't live without each other Tom is especially charmed by Cindy's story of taking care of the paralyzed homeowner That evening strange things start happening in Mrs Norris's house First a blue hand helps Cindy wash in the shower And then a pale Asian boy trying to act like a spider rolls down the stairs Thinking it's just her imagination Cindy goes to wash Mrs Norris before bed but makes a mistake again by dunking the sponge into a bedpan Realizing her blunder Cindy hoses down Mrs Norris and heads upstairs There she hears a noise and goes to the attic where she burns her hand on the palm of the ghostly Asian boy All this seems strange to her and she decides to share it with Tom the next day At that very moment Tom accidentally hits her throat with the ball again angry at his son but their conversation about ghost turns into a discussion about relationships and Cindy tells Tom about her tragedy That day she lost George She was in a boxing match with Tiffany Tyson which she accepted to find out what her nickname Dirty Sanchez meant But she never got the chance to learn because during the match Tiffany punched her and she was knocked out Then when a stool was placed in the ring she swung at it and missed causing everyone to break their necks including George While Cindy mourns Tiffany bites off the ears of everyone present However Tom doesn't care about Cindy's past He's sure he can be happy with her so they kiss But then a thunderstorm begins Lightning strikes the ground directly from the place used for creating Dirty Sanchez When the storm ends not only Sanchez but also Tom's pants are dirty He heads into town and realizes that all technology has stopped working Not only cars and skateboards but even one guy's intestines have stopped functioning Tom advises a friend to replace the solenoid to get the car working again and then goes to a crowd of people gathered where the lightning struck A giant alien robot emerges from the ground and turns human flesh to ash leaving their clothes intact Thanks to this one lady gets a wardrobe update At this moment the ghost boy appears to Cindy and after talking to him in flawless Japanese she discovers that the boy's father knows how to stop the aliens The answer is hidden in my father's heart He says "Cindy needs to follow the blood on the wall A bloody message appears which Cindy copies into her notebook." After inhaling the powder the film's writers were likely using in bulk during production Tom Ryan returns home brushes off his clothes and picks up his kids Outside he meets Cindy and realizes their paths are diverging She needs to find the boy's father and stop the aliens while Tom just wants to save his family Fortunately he gives her a solenoid Meanwhile the president of the United States listens to a story about a duck in elementary school Upon learning that aliens have invaded Earth he scares the children and goes to deal with the problem Possibly the parents of all these kids have already died On her way Cindy meets her old friend Brenda who somehow has survived the first three movies and is now working as a journalist After the alien attack Cindy invites her to join the journey and Brenda agrees She uses Cindy's solenoid to hijack a car and they continue their trip in comfort On the road they see streams of the injured At this moment Mahalik and CJ emerge from the sewers unaware of the alien invasion They assume a zombie apocalypse has occurred so they start attacking the wounded even shoving Mahalik's grandmother into the sewers That evening Tom Ryan loses his car and he and his kids are left on the side of the road Even his gun doesn't help as Tom accidentally shoots down a paraglider So they continue on foot Cindy and Brenda arrive at a village where an old believer community lives This is where the ghost boy's father Henry Hall resides The friends steal some clothes and try to blend in but they're quickly exposed However they meet Henry who isn't in charge Cindy tells Henry about his son but he pretends not to know anything Henry brings the strangers fate to the council for discussion Meanwhile Brenda finds a suitor in the form of Jeremiah hinting at some bedroom fun and he passionately supports sparing the strangers While the elders deliberate Henry's blind daughter Holly bursts in and holds her own council meeting Realizing she's not in the bathroom Holly quickly leaves The elders decide to let the friends stay but they will never be allowed to leave the community Meanwhile the president of the United States addresses the United Nations demonstrating a new super weapon that burns clothes off people Then he accidentally uses it on himself The scientists of America took this ray from one of the alien robots and reversed its polarity admiring the president's genitality that is genius The assembly is horrified as the president reveals his darkest inner secrets The meeting ends in total destruction of clothing courtesy of the wonder ray Tom Rachel and Robbie are caught in the path of alien robots Robbie runs off to help the soldiers while Rachel nearly becomes a victim of the king of pop music Tom manages to save her and they hide in a basement with Mr Blonde Brenda quickly adapts to life in the community She even churns butter for Jeremiah But then creatures in red cloaks attack the village When they enter the house it turns out the elders are hiding under the mosques Then something worse happens Henry Hall has a hot attack and his crazy son Ezekiel stabs him with a knife Before he dies Henry reveals how his son died and became a ghost in Mrs Norris's house A fat guy fell on the boy during a boxing match in which Cindy participated meaning she is responsible for the boy's death As Henry tries to explain how to defeat the aliens Ezekiel stabs him again and Henry dies in the basement where Tom Rachel and blonde Oliver are hiding An alien robot lowers its probe When it sees a vacuum cleaner it decides to leave Offspring Oliver tries to cut off the probe but Tom stops him While they argue the aliens abduct Rachel and then take Tom as well The same alien ship captures Cindy and Brenda When the four are together they are pulled into the space between the ship's cheeks The friends wake up with clever devices attached to their heads But Tom isn't so lucky His devices attached to the opposite end of his body In the room where they find themselves the bones of Shaquille O'Neal are still lying around He never freed himself from the chain The TV turns on and the masked man says the devices on the friends will activate in 1 minute To save themselves they must retrieve a key from Cindy's eye socket and press a button This task is easy because Cindy has a glass eye and she pulls it out in seconds Then the sadist on TV dangles Robbie and Rachel over a meat grinder and forces Tom to hold the chain they're hanging from But even under threat of death Tom doesn't let go so he's spared While Tom tries to save the kids Cindy sees a hearts on the toilet tank and remembers the ghost's words She digs through the toilets and pulls out photos of the masked man and the boy's mother It turns out Henry was his stepfather and the real father is the alien in the mask who is now seeking revenge for his son's death Meanwhile Brenda finds a hidden door and beats up the alien and his brother Zultor After this and Cindy's please the aliens decide to stop exterminating humanity They forgive the humans for the death of their son And as a reward Zelto gets pubic lies from Brenda which wipes out the entire alien race When the visitors from space are gone all of our heroes find happiness Rachel and Robbie return to their mother and her elderly boyfriend Cindy and Tom start dating Brenda gives birth to Jeremiah's child with Zelto's features Mahalik and CJ also find happiness not far from the hump of that mountain Even the duck and the president of the United States find each other A month later Tom Ryan appears on a TV show to tell his incredible story and parody Tom Cruz He gets so into the role that he breaks the host's arms