Avoidant Attachment Overview

Aug 28, 2025

Overview

This summary explains why individuals with avoidant attachment styles often appear selfish in relationships, focusing on the underlying psychological causes of their behavior.

Origins of Avoidant Attachment

  • Avoidant attachment develops in response to parent figures who were emotionally unresponsive or inattentive during childhood.
  • Distant behavior and hyper-independence become coping mechanisms for emotional safety.

Relationship Behavior

  • Avoidantly attached individuals struggle with vulnerability and tend to avoid conflict in relationships.
  • They often feel overwhelmed by others' needs, leading them to withdraw from trying to meet those needs.
  • Their instinct is to prioritize their own goals and well-being over their partner's needs.

Perception and Root Cause

  • This self-focused behavior is frequently perceived as selfishness by others.
  • The underlying cause is a deep-seated fear and inability to recognize or respond to the needs of others, rooted in their early life experiences.