- I don’t remember exactly, but ... I use the most expensive hair color in the world. It's not that I care about the money, it's that I care about my hair. It's not just the color. I expect great color. What's worth more to me is the way my hair feels. Feels good around my neck. I can't remember it. I can't finish it all. If only we had more time. - Why don’t we have more time? - I’m dying. I'm croaking! - It’s tough, coming home. But this is what you do for a parent that you love. But, you know? She's not my mother. Technically. In my own family, there’s a lot of dysfunction, a lot of mental illness, a lot of substance abuse. Every generation. My parents divorced when I was about five. My mother moved us out of state, so we had to fly to New York to see my father 'cause he was already working in advertising, and New York was the only place to be. - Many of the commercials you see on television begin life here. - Advertising is one of the main sources of messaging about who you should be. - Nowadays, most of you women lead two lives, combining homemaking with the role of glamorous hostess. - And in the ’60s, the ads were often made from a male point of view. - In the pre-production meeting, everybody who has anything to do with the commercial is there. - It was mostly men. These superstar art directors and writers. Like my father, Gene Case. "Mad Men" was like home movies, and he was Don Draper. He was very witty, but I don't think my father realized how powerful his words were. He knew it professionally. But with his kids, he could be incredibly cutting. Flay you just with a phrase. But it's the time with my mother that was the nightmare. She had a horrible childhood, but she sure as hell didn’t make any effort to overcome that in her relations with us. You know, it was really horrifying to my mother that I was not popular. But I was also really awkward because she had been undermining my confidence for all my life. She would pick apart your personality in detail. I was lazy, I looked bad, I acted bad, I was awkward. Emotionally, just out for blood. At a certain point in the night, I would know, “OK, the situation is dangerous. I need to get outta here." I had this fantasy when I was in fourth grade that I vividly remember that some kind of outside agency was gonna come in and determine from all the salt on my pillow that I was crying myself to sleep every night and do something about it. No, it was awful. It was awful. And that was the point where Ilon came into my life. - Ilon, do you need anything to eat? - I don’t think so, but look up this wallpaper, Waverly Fabrics, and see if they have a rose pattern. - OK. Oh, what about this one here? - That’s not it. - No? - No, first of all, I was an art dir... I was a creative director at an advertising agency. The first thing I know is what I'm looking at. Ilon the girl. I don't remember particularly being into advertising, but somehow I found myself in it. And I seemed to be very good at it. First of all, I’d always listened to everybody. And I noticed that I saw things differently than other people. - Women could get somewhere in advertising, but they were marginalized. - Women were given a lesser role. All the men were always arguing with you and always taking credit. - And one of the things that was coming through loud and clear is that women are for men. - Glory, glory, hallelujah Glory, glory, hallelujah Glory, glory, hallelujah His truth is marching on - Men were always the ones who everyone was pleasing. - What will your eyes say to him tonight? Wait till the fellas take a look at this plunging backline. - You look at ads from that period, and it’s jaw-dropping. - This is one of our nation’s most beautiful sights, the kind of girl who keeps her figure. - But that’s what feminism was pushing back against. - I was a feminist. I knew women were equal if not superior to men from the time I was a little girl. - And in advertising, she wanted to be a trailblazer that way. At one point, she worked in the same agency with my father, and that's how they met. - He was a good writer, and I was a good writer. I liked the fact that he was good at what he did and cared about it. We got engaged, and then we got married. - I’m sitting there in the background. I’m grinning. I'm so thrilled because I adored her instantly. I thought she was super cool. And she treated me like I mattered. - She was a sweet little girl, and she deserved some caretaking. My mother was kinda terrible, so I knew that she needed support, and I gave her support. And that was what we did. - She was interested in me. She listened to me. Treated me like I was lovable. - She didn’t have anyone to recognize her being, to support her, to see who she could be, who she was. - She was very interested in what I would do with my life, and the assumption was that it would be something worthwhile. She just went way, way beyond the call of duty to make me feel like I was worth it. And she did that for a lot of other women, too. - I was working at McCann Erickson. We were given an assignment. L'Oréal, they wanted a campaign for Preference, it's a hair color. - She’s in this room full of men brainstorming for this ad. - The men were busy flirting with the women, telling us we all looked like models and we didn't look like advertising people, you know? - They’re like, “Oh, this woman is gonna be standing by an open window, and the wind will be blowing the curtains." And she's thinking, you know, this is just making the woman totally an object. - I was feeling angry. I'm not interested in writing anything about looking good for men. Fuck 'em. Fuck you too. - Why fuck me? - Well, you’re a man. - Yeah, but I’m here trying to help you tell your story. - Yeah, that’s good. I like that part. I was pissed. We weren’t there to just dance for the men. - It is what she said. She just thought, "Fuck you." And wrote this. - I just opened my eyes and knew. Because I'm worth it. The campaign got approved, but all the men were always telling you that you were doing something wrong or they knew how to do it better. - The agency insisted on a male voiceover. - She uses the most expensive hair color in the world, Preference by L'Oréal. - You know, it was just totally different. - Smooth and silky, but with body. It feels good against her neck. Actually, she doesn't mind spending more for L'Oréal. Because she's worth it. - It was wrong. This was not for men but for women and for other human beings. - I use the most expensive hair color in the world, Preference by L'Oréal. It's not that I care about the money, it's that I care about my hair. It's not just the color, I expect great color. What's worth more to me is the way my hair feels. Smooth and silky, but with body. It feels good against my neck. Actually, I don't mind spending more for L'Oréal. Because I'm worth it. - I wrote that. - It was everywhere. It was a national campaign. - Yes, it’s expensive, but I’m worth it. - What they realized after they started running it was that that was only the tip of the iceberg. - It was supporting women, finally. - And I’m worth it. And I'm worth it. I'm worth it. - It’s a four-word feminist manifesto, defying this social pressure to think about yourself in relation to men. - You’re worth it. I'm worth it. I'm worth it. - It was a very big success. - At a certain point, L’Oréal adopted it as the tagline for their entire business. - Parce que je le vaux bien. - Even today, that’s their motto. - Because I’m worth it. - ’Cause you’re worth it. - You’re worth it. - We’re worth it. - And I’m worth it. - She wrote the most influential tagline in women's beauty advertising. - I’m worth it. - It’s magic, that phrase. - Those words just get better with age, don’t they? - I’m worth it. Because you are and always will be. - She came up with that line because she believed it. She believed it about herself, and she believed that women should believe it. She did that for me. You know, even after they split up, she was still a big part of my life. I've always kind of felt like I dodged a bullet that I have watched take down other members of my family. She saved me. And today, I am a professor of English at Williams College. I teach Victorian literature, and I also teach women's, gender and sexuality studies. She was my mother. She also taught me how to be a mother. I had been very uncertain about motherhood for myself because my role model for that was so nightmarish. But Ilon really taught me, I can do this. I can be a good mother. She made me believe that I was worth it. And I was not either the first or the last. - I have to go away now. Go to my room. - It’s been lovely. - It’s been lovely. Oh ... I'm not interested in advertising. I don't give a shit. It wasn't like it was my whole life. It was just a portion. It’s about humans; it’s not about advertising. It's about caring for people because ... we're all worth it, or no one is worth it.