Transcript for:
Ավելացնել շփվող հմտություններ ինտրովերտների համար

If you tend to be shy and quiet, then you need to  learn how to be more talkative as an introvert.   

And that’s exactly what we’re going to  discuss today. 

I’m about to share with   you the exact same advice that I teach to our  clients in our social skills coaching program.   

This stuff works so make sure you  stick around until the very end. 
  My name is Myke Macapinlac, I help STEM  professionals improve their social confidence. If you're new to the channel, remember to  subscribe and hit the bell to be notified   when I post a new video every single week. 
Let me just say that there’s nothing wrong   with being reserved and introverted. 

But  if you feel like it’s preventing you from   connecting with others, then you need to  improve your conversation skills as well.   

By doing so, you’ll be able to express yourself  better and figure out how to be more outgoing.   

That being said, here are 13 actionable  tips that you can implement right away. Alright, let's get into it. 

Tip #1  Appear more friendly 

As the saying goes,   you never get a second chance to make a great  first impression.

We all make snap judgments   about people right away based on what we  see.

If you’re wondering how to be more   talkative as an introvert, you have to look  more approachable.

Think about it. 

Would   you want to talk to someone who’s slouching, have  their arms cross and has a frown on their face?   

Probably not, right?

That’s why you have  to pay attention to how you’re coming across.  
In order to appear more friendly,  remember to have a more open body language.  
Make an effort to stand up straight, and  keep your arms to your side.

Maintain proper   eye contact and have a genuine smile on your  face.

When you look approachable, more people   are going to be inclined to interact with you. 
Tip #2 Come up with things to talk   about

If you tend to have awkward  silences during your interactions,   then you need to prepare in advance. 

If you want  to know how to be more talkative as an introvert,   take the time to come up with stories that you  can share.

Doing so will help you feel less   nervous when you interact with anybody. 

If you  think about it, the same topics tend to come up   in conversation over and over again anyway.

That  being said, prepare some stories regarding your   work, your upbringing, places you’ve been to,  events you’ve attended, and your interests.

Try   to stay up to date with current events as  well. 

Visit a few reputable news websites   so you’re aware of trending topics. 

The more  stories you put together, the easier it’ll be   for you to figure out how to never run out of  things to say.

You’ll experience less anxiety   and be a lot more likely to speak up because you  know you have something valuable to share. 

Tip   #3 Be genuinely interested in others

The truth  is, we’re all inherently selfish. 

That’s why we   like people who like us. 

If you want to figure  out how to be more talkative as an introvert,   you have to be genuinely interested in others.  

The next time you interact with someone,   give them your full and undivided attention.

Get  out of your head, put your phone away, and be   curious about them.

Be present, actively  listen and ask more open-ended questions.  
By doing this, you’ll make anybody you talk to  feel more seen, heard, and understood.

They’ll   leave the interaction feeling good and they’ll  look forward to seeing you again. 

By being   interested in others, they’ll be interested in  you as well.

Tip #4 Stop filtering yourself 
  The fear of being judged prevents  most people from speaking up.  They’re so afraid of looking bad  that they pressure themselves   to say something clever all the time. If you want to know how to be more talkative   as an introvert, you have to not care so much. Believe it or not, most people don’t notice you   as often as you might assume. 

Not to mention,  everyone’s so concerned about themselves anyway.  Even if you say something silly, others would’ve  forgotten about you by the time they get home.  That’s why you need to stop  overanalyzing everything.  Quiet your inner critic and  always challenge your assumptions.  By doing so, you’ll realize that nothing is ever  as bad as you may think. 

Keep this in mind   and you’ll figure out how to be  less self-conscious.

As a result,   you’ll act more like yourself in any social  situation.

Tip #5 Avoid giving short responses  Most people who struggle socially make the mistake  of being so brief when they share something.  If that sounds like you, people will  find it hard to interact with you.   

You’re not giving them a whole lot to work with.  If you’re wondering how to be more talkative  as an introvert, avoid giving one-word answers.  For example, let’s say someone  asks you what you do for fun.  Feel free to elaborate on your response. Talk about what got you into your hobby,   how it makes you feel, and what you like about it. By giving the other person more information, that   could trigger other potential topics that both of  you can discuss.

This will prevent any lull in   conversation and will make your interactions feel  more effortless. 

Tip #6 Work on your delivery  At the end of the day, it’ll be hard for anybody  to hear you if you’re too soft-spoken.

Remember,   it’s not just what you say,  but how you say it matters too.  In order to hold people’s attention, you  need to work on your delivery as well.  That being said, make sure you raise your energy  slightly the next time you talk to someone.  You also have to get comfortable speaking louder. To project your voice,   talk from your stomach and not from your chest. Use your hands to accentuate what you’re saying   and vary your tonality as well. Doing so will make you appear   like a captivating storyteller. If you’re not used to talking   in this manner, just keep at it. I recommend you practice in front of the   mirror and try recording yourself as well. That way, you can get a better   feel for your delivery. By doing this consistently,   you’ll improve the way you communicate eventually. Tip #7 Comment on your surroundings  If you want to learn how to be more talkative  as an introvert, try to be more observant.  Make an effort to notice  what’s happening around you.  Use your environment to help you come  up with potential topics that you can   discuss.

For this to work, you have to get good  at making associations with whatever you see.  Ask yourself what else it reminds you of. By being observant and making simple remarks,   you’ll figure out how to not be quiet all  the time. 

Tip #8 Ask better questions  The quality of your questions will  determine the quality of your interactions.  If you want to know how to be  more talkative as an introvert,   you need to ask more open ended questions.  By doing this, you’ll prompt whoever  you’re conversing with to keep sharing.  That way, you’ll have more  information to work with.  For example, instead of asking “do you like  sushi?” you can ask “what’s your favourite dish?”  Do you see the difference? The first question is a closed-ended question   which can be answered with a yes or no. The second one encourages the person   you’re chatting with to talk about  themselves in greater detail.  That could potentially open up other conversation  threads that you could discuss as well.

As   mentioned before, the more  information you have to work with,   the easier it’ll be for you to come up with things  to talk about. 

Tip #9 Lead the conversation  Making small talk for introverts is  painful because most of them don’t   know how to transition out of it. That’s why their interactions stall   and don’t go anywhere.

If you want to figure  out how to be more talkative as an introvert,   you need to speak with purpose. 

In order to  lead the conversation, you have to know where   you want it to go. 

To help you with this, ask  yourself what are things that you know a lot about   and enjoy discussing with others? 

Once you’re  aware of your preferred conversation topics,   all you have to do is to communicate in a  way that will bring those up. 

For example,   let’s say you want to talk about traveling.  

If that’s the case, you can ask the person   you’re chatting with what’s the best place they’ve  visited and what they like about it. 

And now,   you’ve easily lead the conversation into a subject  that you’re interested in. 

By doing this, you’ll   be able to have more meaningful conversations  with anybody you talk to.

Tip #10 Open up more  In order for people to trust  you, they have to like you.  And in order for them to like  you, they have to know you.  That’s why you have to open up and  let them see who you really are.  Don’t be afraid to tell people what’s  actually going on in your life.

That   being said, you have to find the balance between  being vulnerable and sharing too much information.  My advice is to open up incrementally by  sharing a small secret about yourself.  Gauge the other person’s feedback  and see if they reciprocate.  By being vulnerable first, you encourage  the other person to open up as well.

If   you want to figure out how to bond and build  deeper friendships, this is one of the best   ways to do it. 

Tip #11 Bring up earlier topics At some point in your conversation, you’re going   to reach the end of a specific subject. You either don’t know much about it or   you don’t feel like talking about it any longer. If you’re wondering how to be more talkative as an   introvert, you have to make a pivot.

One of the  best ways to do it is to bring up earlier topics.   

To make this work, just think of something that  was mentioned before that you were curious about.  Again, make sure you ask more open-ended  questions. 

That way, the person you’re   talking to has to explain themselves more. You can also ask follow-up questions to   keep the conversation going. You can say things like “tell   me more about that?” or “what’s that like?” At this point, you’ve removed the pressure   on yourself to always have to  come up with what to talk about.  All you have to do is to follow your  curiosity, keep asking open-ended questions,   and sharing related stories.

Tip  #12 Politely interrupt others  If you want to know how to be more talkative  as an introvert when you’re in a big crowd,   you have to stop hesitating so much. 

If you  think about it, a group conversation tends to be   pretty chaotic to begin with. 

That being said,  you have to get comfortable politely interrupting   others every now and then.

What you’ll want to  do is to use your body language to gesture that   you want to say something.

And then speak up as  soon as the opportunity presents itself.

Like I   said earlier, raise your energy when you speak to  hold the attention of the group.

Talk louder and   use your hands to accentuate your points when you  tell your stories. 

Doing this will definitely   require some practice so be patient with  yourself. 

Tip #13 Have interactions regularly  Interacting with others can be  intimidating if you’re not used to it.  If you want to learn how to be more talkative  as an introvert, you have to put your reps in.   

My advice is to start small and  practice in easier settings first.  That way, you get some quick wins and  build momentum in the right direction.  For example, you can make small talk with  the barista when you get your coffee.  Feel free to chit-chat with the  cashier at the grocery store.  You can strike up a conversation with the  driver the next time you take an Uber.  By taking action consistently, you’ll gain  a lot of positive reference experiences.  Over time, you’ll develop your social confidence  and figure out how to put yourself out there.   

And once you do, you never have to  worry about missing out on opportunities   to connect with people ever again. If you're shy and technically skilled   and you want to know how to approach and  talk to anybody, remember to download your   free social confidence cheat sheet. The link is in the description below. If you're you're tired of struggling socially  and you want to learn more about our social   skills coaching program, book your free  consultation today and let's connect. The link is in the description below as well. If you like this video, go  ahead and hit the like button,   subscribe and share it with someone  who you know could benefit from it. And now, let's turn it to you. Which one of these tips are  you going to implement first? Are you going to come up with things to  talk about or are you going to open up more? Leave me a comment below and let me know. Alright, that's it for me for now  and I'll see you in the next video.