Asian people you've probably seen them in the movies you probably go to school with them you might have even seen them on the street walking their dogs wait a second anyway a lot of people believe in the myth that all Asian people are the same and they are but as an Asian person myself I'm going to walk you through all the different types of Asian people you will encounter in your life first and foremost you have the math nerds now the only place you're going to encounter math nerds is within an algebra or Calculus class so their spawn rate outside of math class is 0% because they're always at school or at home in their room doing math problems all day but be warned if you choose to challenge a math nerd by raising your hand in class you are in one heck of a battle you can study your ass off you can do all the practice problems and somehow the Asian math guy is still going to get 100% And your dumbass is going to get like a 90 That's the Law of the universe but there is one way to beat a math nerd in one-on-one combat every time they show off their counting skills you just say to them M Mr Chan hi do you know know how uh the number zero was invented how number zero invented is how many [ __ ] you get this technique will leave them so defeated that they'll go home and jerk off to the pixels on their ultr Pro Gold Edition ti84 calculator okay apart from the math narns you also have the hot Korean dudes now even though I said Korean dudes these guys are usually Chinese but they put on so much makeup and lipstick that they look like a goddamn BTS album cover you can usually find these guys in the bathroom mirrors checking themselves out or applying lipstick to their already red cherry ass lips now I'm not going to pretend that I don't find them beautiful because as a matter of fact they're kind of hot I'm straight by the way but these guys look more feminine than actual women they also have the best RZ out of all the Asian people despite looking like actual females and you can always find them in the cafeteria sitting with all the girls one thing you have to be careful is never assume they're a girl cuz I made that mistake once I approached this girl in quotation marks and I asked for a number and it turns out it was one of those Asian dude with heavy makeup on and so he he beat the [ __ ] out of me with his taekwondo next up we have the athletic Asians or as I like to call them uh the Kims that hit the gym now these guys are usually obviously found in the gym you can spot them outside the gym they have like a 30% spawn right out outside the gym the one defining feature of an Asian Gym Bro is their massive legs because unlike the other races Asians never Skip Leg Day the rice fields need plowing if you try talking to them they're just going to start telling you about their macros and how much protein they've had today and hold up I just realized something maybe the reason they like working out so much is because their names sound like exercise terms like think about it protein powder carbohydrate cardom machine moving on from that we have the crazy Rich Asians no not not the movie the actual crazy Rich Asians now these guys probably have a mum or dad who's a doctor and their entire life path is set up for them go to school get A+ be a doctor some of them can be chill but some of them just go around flexing their Gucci watches and their Louis Vuitton handbags I always thought Asians carrying around expensive handbags was hella weird cuz um cuz it's manufactured by their cousins that one there was a violation personally I wouldn't have it now the one you've all been waiting for the weebs now just to clarify there's a difference between normal people who watch anime and the weebs because the weebs try to make it their entire goddamn personality a normal person will watch an anime and maybe talk about it a bit and maybe even get a figurine but we will make a Twitter account just to [ __ ] on other anime and explain why his favorite one is the absolute best in the world yes I'm talking about the [ __ ] who inflated Full Metal Alchemist to number one on my anime list that [ __ ] is not the best anime another interesting thing about weaves is you you can usually smell them way before you see them I was friends with this one uh nasty smelling weeb in high school and all I got to say is the last time this dude sh card Goku was still a kid on the same hierarchy level as the weebs are the whitewashed Asian kids now I'm allowed to say this cuz I'm Asian but these dudes are literally bananas yellow on the outside white on the inside they speak like white people their friend group is white their girlfriend or boyfriend is white and they even pack goddamn tuna sandwiches for lunch if you ask them about what they do in their free time they're never going to say some Asian [ __ ] like watching anime instead they're going to tell you about how their their favorite thing is playing crochet or whatever it is the white people do for fun now the worst enemy of these whitewashed Asian kids is the next one on our list the Hood Asian guys now these dudes are literally the opposite of the whitewashed Asian kids they usually skip classes they hang out with all the other Hood dudes and they say the n-word a lot even though they be yellower than the sun you can fight them in the basketball court but they're usually on the bench cuz Asians be like 55 and Below also this one is from experience the way you differentiate an actual Yakuza member versus like a Hood Asian dude is that if you try to get in a fight with them actual Yakuza member might whoop out a knife and stab you but the Hood Asian dude is just going to put up his hands and say what's up my [ __ ] what's up with it hey what you trying to do and then he's just going to wait for his black friends to fight for him and finally the last one on our list the one you've all been waiting for the autistic Asian kids now these are my favorite guys cuz all my friends in high school were autistic Asian kids now these guys will say the most unhinged [ __ ] and borderline criminal [ __ ] that would get you a 90-year prison sentence and then take it back with the words on playing I'm playing I love these guys so goddamn much because they're literally responsible for my sense of humor like they introduced me to those social credit memes and those videos of John Cena speaking really shitty Chinese that are just funny as [ __ ] to watch you can usually find the autistic Asian kids in the back of the class while the teacher is giving a lecture and they just be talking about the most random [ __ ] in life like the Cambodian war of 1971 or how dogs actually taste good now as I was doing research uh for this video my Asian friend took took me to a dog restaurant so here is the full unedited clip of me trying dog for the first time all right time to try this chit man that is some good ass German Shepherd